by Katie Kyler
“Goodnight, Phillygirl,” he said.
“Goodnight, EdensNomad.” I fumbled with my keys, trying to fit one of them into the door.
I turned to look at him one last time. He was smiling and standing calmly, just like he had been at the beginning of the night, with his hands in his pockets. I unlocked the door and slid inside, shutting it behind me and leaning against it. My heart raced as I thought about what had just happened.
I didn’t need to fantasize about kissing him or what it would be like to be close to him.
I’d just experienced it.
Chapter 4
Joshua
When I woke up on Monday morning, I was still feeling the high of a perfect date with her. I’d done something worthwhile over the weekend, something memorable for all of the right reasons.
I couldn’t stop thinking about her. I grabbed my coffee and headed into the office.
“Shit man, looks like you got laid this weekend,” Christopher hollered from the end of the hall as I turned to enter my office.
“Seriously?” I squinted my eyes at him as he approached. “Maybe you can be a little louder.”
“Since when have you become so touchy about talking about getting laid?” Christopher chuckled and stared at me. “You did get laid, right? How many times? No…how many different girls?”
“None…and only one. I mean I didn’t fuck her, we just went on a date.” I thought about the kiss between her and me. It was nothing less than perfect.
“So, who’s this new girl? Did you meet her at a club?” Christopher prodded some more as he perched himself at the end of my desk.
“Um, something like that. We just kinda bumped into each other and hit it off.” I knew I’d never hear the end of it from Christopher if I told him I was actually using the company website to meet women. “Listen, I have a ton of work to get done, so let’s catch up later, okay?” I gently motioned towards the door and then escorted him out, shutting the door behind him.
I eased back into my chair and thought about her. Did I get laid? I couldn’t believe he asked me that, let alone he thought I’d tell him. I thought about the conversation I was having with myself. Any other time I would have been bragging about the sex I had, but this time, it wasn’t about the sex. It was about her and I didn’t want to share any of the juicy details with anyone.
I stared at the paperwork in my inbox. Most of Scintilla’s business was conducted electronically, but every now and then we needed hard copies. A memo from HR stuck out of the pile, a list of Scintilla’s employees. All those names. Shit, I didn’t even know her name. I agreed to play by the rules, but it wouldn’t be difficult for me to find out who she really was. I did own the company after all.
I laughed at how stupid I was. Hell, I’d been with girls where I never knew their name, but I certainly hadn’t planned on calling them again. That was the old me. Now I was kicking myself for not getting hers. I didn’t have her name. I didn’t have her number. All I had was her name on the site. I logged back into Scintilla and stared at her profile. Now I knew why our site was so successful and I knew what I needed more than anything else right now. Her.
For the rest of the morning, I found myself trying to get tasks accomplished, but I wasn’t able to concentrate. I kept thinking about those long lashes and the bright blue color of her eyes. Her perfect body and the way her dress hugged it.
Every few minutes I would log in and stare at her profile and my messages. Nothing new. I wanted to send her a message, but I thought I’d look too eager. I’d never been like this before. With every other girl I just didn’t care. In fact, they were always the ones who reached out to me first, but I guess I knew why, especially after my last girlfriend. Phillygirl seemed different.
I logged into the back office system and brought up the membership search screen. Her contact details were available, just not available to EdensNomad. They were available to me, CEO of the company. I typed in her screenname and then immediately deleted it. I agreed to play by the rules.
“Dammit!” I slapped my hands down on the desk in frustration. I needed a distraction. I looked at my watch. Lunchtime. Maybe Jamie would be up for a little brother to brother bonding. He never asked me about my love life, or anything else for that matter.
I pulled open the office door and stood in the hallway, scanning the cubes. Jamie was never in his office. He was the social one, always out chatting with people instead of working. That’s why he never accomplished anything.
Jamie’s voice echoed over the top of the cubes as I saw him walking towards the elevator with that girl that sat just outside of my office. I could never remember her name. Her bobbing brown hair reminded me of her hair and I smiled.
Even outside of my office I couldn’t find a distraction.
Chapter 6
Allison
I pulled my headphones tighter against my ears as I stared at my computer in a daze. I watched the spinning pinwheel on the screen as the reports ran in the background. Work. I thought about the walk to work. It was so much different. I felt like I had walked on clouds. I took a sip of my coffee and a bite of my bagel as I thought about my dream date. The date I couldn’t tell anyone about at work.
Every vibration of my phone sent me floundering to look at it, hoping it was a message from him, but there was nothing. A text from Jess, a notification from the bank that my balance was running low, but nothing from him. I buried myself in work, waiting for him to come talk to me.
I peeked over my cube but his door was still shut. He had gotten in earlier than normal and I missed his grand entrance. The entrance I had thought about the entire weekend where he slid into my cube and smiled at me, thanking me for a wonderful date. Any minute now, that was going to happen. Or perhaps I’d run into him in the hallway or maybe the break room.
Or maybe he wouldn’t come to my cubicle at all, maybe he’d call me into his office.
My dream. Holy crap, if he called me in there, would he close the blinds? Would drum music be pounding through his computer speakers?
Every door that opened nearby sent me into a scramble as my heart pounded. False alarm.
I couldn’t take it anymore. I sidled up to his assistant’s desk. “So, Craig, what’s Joshua’s schedule like today?”
Craig shot me a look, like it wasn’t my damn business. I caught the reflection of his Spider solitaire game in the glass window behind him.
“Look, I just want to know if he’s going to be out and about a lot. I had some things I needed to show him.”
Craig nodded. “You can leave them with me.” He leaned back in his chair and smiled.
“No thanks, I really want to give them to him myself.”
“He said not to bother him. His calendar is blocked off for the day so you’ll have to wait until tomorrow.” Craig leaned back as if he had just delivered some great news. It was heartbreak for me. My chances of running into Joshua in the hall were nil.
I wondered whether Joshua was avoiding me, whether he had changed his mind about wanting to see me again. I wondered whether I’d end up getting fired because he didn’t want any sort of conflict at work.
Maybe I was just being an idiot and he really did have a ton of work to do. Running a business couldn’t be easy.
“Okay,” I managed to squeak out. “Thanks, Craig.”
The clouds at my feet had evaporated. Actually, they were now hanging over my head, raining on me. I moped back to my cube and plopped down in my chair, wrapping my headphones around my head and covering my ears.
Jamie craned his neck over my cubicle at about noon. “Want to grab some lunch?”
He reminded me of a jack-in-the-box when he popped his head over the divider like that. I managed a weak smile. “No thanks. I should stay in and get some work done.”
Or rather, sit here like a loser in the hope that Joshua would come by and invite me out to lunch. I wasn’t hungry, Joshua, but since you’re begging, why, yes, I’d love to try that little p
lace near Penn’s Landing, the one with amazing minestrone.
At the very least, he could send a quick message through Scintilla’s dating site explaining what the hell was up with ignoring me at work.
“Come on,” Jamie said. “I saw the hot dog vendor. The one with the sauerkraut that you like…”
I could sit here pathetically, ready to be taken out at Joshua’s convenience, or I could take charge of my own damn life and feed myself. I caved in and decided to head out with Jamie. “Sure. Why not.”
I gave one last look at my computer screen, willing a Scintilla message to pop up. Maybe Joshua was trying to keep a low profile. A secret office affair.
“Let’s go,” Jamie said, and my swoon-worthy fantasies involving clandestine meetings in the empty boardrooms and company retreats in the Alps came crashing down around me.
I let out a heavy breath and grabbed my purse from around my chair. We didn’t talk much as we walked to the elevators, although I slowed down as we went past Joshua’s office.
Jamie gave me a curious look, as if he saw something different in me today. “I saw you talking to Craig earlier. Do you need to talk to my brother about something? You could always talk to me, you know. This is my company, too.”
“What? No, no.” Sometimes I almost forgot that Jamie and Joshua were brothers. Joshua outshone Jamie in so many respects. It was easy to see why Joshua was considered the leader.
“Well, how is your day going, then?” he asked.
I wanted to blurt that I had had the most incredible date of my life with his brother who I was just dying to talk to again, and would Jamie please give me some intel on why Joshua would take me out on a date and look at me and kiss me like that, but then ignore me all morning…but it would have been way too awkward. “So far my day is the same as every other day…unfortunately.”
* * * * *
I sat down on the edge of the brick wall, Jamie flanking my side. The warm sun was a welcome distraction from the waiting game I had been playing all morning. Every creak of a door or vibration of my phone caused me to jump. Everyone’s voice sounded like his. I just wanted him to contact me, somehow. Today had been like every other day at the office. I was again invisible.
“Yeah. So I was thinking a lot over the weekend. You know, my brother and I are co-owners of Scintilla. But it always seems like he gets the credit for everything. I’m not bitching, but I think I’ve got some pretty good ideas that this company could implement.” Jamie took a bite of his hot dog.
“So why don’t you tell him about them?” It seemed like a pretty simple solution to me.
I bit into my hotdog, enjoying the mustard and sauerkraut flavors exploding over my tongue. If there was one good thing about working in Philly, it was the food carts that we could count on to deliver delicious lunches.
“I’ve told him plenty of things.” Jamie wiped his mouth. “He just snubs me. He acts like I’m not good enough for this place.”
“Well, what are your great ideas? I’ll listen.” I took a sip of my water. A part of me actually felt a little sorry for him. It must be frustrating to be the younger brother who is always in the shadow of his older, smarter, more creative and much more handsome brother.
“Well, my idea is really simple. Basically, I’d like to add some features to the website to engage a wider audience.”
I nodded, taking a swig of my drink. “Wider audience. Sounds good so far.”
“Yeah. Think about it. Maybe people would want to pay for a sneak peek of their date or something else. That could put an extra million on the bottom line.” Jamie’s eyes glimmered. A million didn’t sound like much in the scope of Tolbert & Tolbert’s earnings, but he felt passionately about the idea, at least. I thought about the idea. I would have loved to know what I was walking into, but then again, Joshua would have too. Maybe our date would have never happened.
“And you think that’s where the company’s energies should go?”
He shrugged. “Why not?”
“Well,” I said, trying to be diplomatic, “I think it’s an okay idea, but it almost defeats the purpose of the site.” I tossed my hot dog wrapper in the trash.
“Well, I also thought about doing a simple redesign of the site, make it more appealing.”
“But what makes you think the site needs this kind of make-over?” It reminded me of my own make-over, how surprised Joshua had been to see me with my hair down, wearing a fantastic dress.
“I think that as it stands right now, the site is a little uppity. I think that the design would look awesome with some better graphics and zip. I mean, the color scheme right now is kind of dull and reminds me of, say, an over thirty crowd. But it could look really cool if the design were just a little more exciting. Don’t you think?”
I was in my thirties, and I hadn’t had a problem with the design when I signed up. My only issue was that it was hard to check my messages on my phone. “I guess it’s worth a try. So why don’t you approach Joshua again?”
Jamie snorted. “He completely ignores me.”
Ha, I used to know how that felt. “Maybe he just comes off as being uninterested because he’s really busy, or because he thinks making changes might take up too much time. Speaking of the time,” I said, “we should probably head back.”
We started walking past the tall buildings. If I closed my eyes, I could imagine I was with Joshua again, walking around downtown, kissing under the streetlights.
Jamie cleared his throat, and I looked over at him. His expression was determined and serious. “I guess I could try again, but he can come off as a real prick sometimes.”
“Maybe you just need to time it better. Joshua can be a really good listener when he wants to be.”
“Really?” Jamie raised his eyebrow as he turned to look at me. “So, you and Joshua talk a lot, do you?” Jamie joked.
“Not lately.” I joked back, but it was the truth.
Chapter 7
Joshua
“So, are you going to give me the scoop on the amazing date where you didn’t get laid or what?” Christopher kicked his feet up on the corner of my desk as he leaned back in the chair. “Seriously, I’ve been waiting all day and you’ve kept yourself locked inside this office.”
I scowled at him as I leaned back in my chair.
“Come on, just a little something.”
“All right, she’s so much different than anyone else I’ve met. Shit, she’s smart as well, and witty.”
“Hot…” Christopher chuckled.
“Yeah, but it’s more than that with her. It’s just something…I can’t explain it.”
Christopher’s feet landed with a thump on the floor as he leaned towards me. “So she’s the one, huh?”
I smiled back as I shook my head. “No,” I exhaled with a huff, shrugging off his comment, but I realized, she could be the one. “Okay, so this is going to sound stupid but, should I text her or call her, or is it too soon?” I knew I couldn’t do either, but I had been holding back contacting her, thinking she was going to reach out to me like all of the other women. I didn’t want to seem too aggressive.
“You sound like a damn girl.” Christopher laughed again and rubbed his hands together. “I can’t believe I’m giving you advice on women.” He clasped his hands behind his head and smiled. “Give me a minute, I want to savor this moment.”
I balled up a piece of paper and tossed it at him. “Asshole…well?”
“Absolutely. Shit, the days of playing some waiting game and being polite are over. If you hadn’t texted her before you reached the bottom of her stairs she’s going to think something is wrong.”
I shook my head as the empty feeling in my stomach took over. I had hoped I hadn’t fucked things up with her.
“So? I know you haven’t talked to her since your date, how was everything else?”
“We ate, we walked, we kissed…now get out, Christopher, I have work to do.” I reached for another piece of paper as he hopped up and
headed out.
“Beer after work?” he asked.
“Don’t know, I’ll let you know. Now get out of here so you can actually do some work for me to pay you for.”
I watched as he quickly left my office mumbling to himself how he’s going to remember the day he gave me advice on women forever. I opened up the Scintilla site and stared at the messages screen.
Chapter 8
Allison
Jamie and I walked in together. He went back to his office and I returned to my cubicle. It was only one o’clock and I had so much work to catch up on. I’d been doing too much daydreaming about Joshua.
I turned on my computer, but instead of working, I gazed out the window. I thought about how Joshua had called me “Phillygirl,” and it made me smile. It hadn’t been the most original username, but I liked how it was easy for him to remember. I wanted to see him walk by my desk so badly that it was difficult to focus on anything else.
I tucked a strand of hair behind my ear and twirled it a little at the bottom. It was something that I caught myself doing frequently now that my hair was cut short. I never even noticed I did it until Jess commented on it once. Together, we’d psychoanalyzed the gesture, deciding it was probably a subconscious quirk because having long hair had made me feel like I could hide behind something, but now that I had shorter hair, I was forced to stand out more openly than I was sometimes comfortable with.
I stared at my watch, it was after five. Normally I wouldn’t stay late, but I wanted the chance to talk with him. I needed to see him. I created busy work for myself as y coworkers left the building. I was upset with him, but equally upset with myself. Why hadn’t he at least stopped by to say a quick hello? And why was I too much of a chickenshit to go see him?
I had already rearranged my desk and desk drawers a half dozen times. I started on work that didn’t need to get done until the next day. I did anything and everything to keep myself glued to my desk or nearby his office.
I peeked over the top of my cube, wondering whether he had actually left already and I had missed him. That would be just like something I would do, but he was still there. I could see the light glowing from underneath his office door.
