by Katie Kyler
I caught my balance on the edge of the couch. “A joke? There’s no joke here. I—last night—none of this could be a joke, Joshua. What are you talking about?”
“I’m talking about who you really are, Allison. Seems you have two faces.” His voice was level, but twin spots of color had bloomed on his cheeks. He set his book onto the table next to him with a careful, controlled movement.
I gasped. So that’s what he meant. “You mean you really didn’t know?”
“Know what? That you’ve been lying to me?”
So he hadn’t recognized me, all this time. It wasn’t that he was embarrassed to be seen with me, or too busy to notice me. He just really did not recognize me. And now that he finally knew the truth, he’d finally seen it… it wasn’t the welcome revelation I’d been hoping for. I didn’t know what I had expected, but it sure as hell wasn’t this.
“I should’ve talked to you about it sooner,” I said.
Tears sprang to my eyes. I wanted him to understand. I should’ve told him sooner, but I’d been enjoying everything about his attention, how he’d finally really seen me during our dates…I hadn’t wanted to mess anything up. I couldn’t say any of this out loud, though. I felt vulnerable enough as it was.
“You think?” he shouted. “Did you think I wouldn’t find out you’re just the frumpy pantsuit-wearing woman at the office who doesn’t know how to talk to me?”
His words stung. Worse than stung. They cut me in such a fundamental way, I wasn’t sure I’d be able to talk. But just past the hurt, I found what I needed. I found my anger.
I pointed a shaking finger at him. “Don’t get all high and mighty with me, Joshua Tolbert. How freaking shallow could you be? I’ve been in front of you this entire time. I’m not wearing any disguises. But at work, you couldn’t even remember my name. You didn’t even see me.”
He opened his mouth to say something, but I held up my hand. “Stop. Just stop,” I said. “I thought there was more to you once I finally got to know you. More than the ridiculous jerk I’d been crushing on at the office, the one with thousands of girlfriends, the one who couldn’t be a real man for long enough to settle down. But now I see I was completely and utterly wrong about you.”
I turned around, not even wanting to see his reaction to my words. Likely, he didn’t even care. I stormed from the living room to the grand entryway by the door, dialing a cab company as I went and trying not to trip on the ledge leading from the sunken living room.
I marched outside, not caring that the morning was chilly; I couldn’t be in the same square mile as that man for a single second more. Then I slammed the front door behind me. A cheap parting shot, but now, it was all I had.
Chapter 8
Joshua
The echo of the front door bounced throughout my empty house. The place felt gutted now that she was gone. “Fuck, fuck, fuck!” I picked up a candleholder and hurled it at the wall. It smashed into the plaster and fell to the hardwood floor in a clatter of expensive, designer meaninglessness.
How could I not have even seen it? Allison. Phillygirl. Allison. And why hadn’t she told me? I’d always hated surprises. Everything should be carefully managed and controlled. It was how I operated, and I wasn’t going to change. Now my girlfriend was two people—one of whom happened to be a fucking employee that I had ignored for the last however many years.
Like Jamie had said, the other day. Did he know? He must have known, and that’s why he brought it up. Who else knew?
I felt like the biggest idiot. I’d been so obsessed with Allison, I’d ignored everyone around me to the point that I didn’t even see Allison right in front of me. I’d only seen the superficial parts. But she’d been there all along.
She was right. She had never, not once, lied to me. It was my own damn fault for not putting the information together.
I lurched forward to pick up the remains of the stupid candlestick, but on my way I stubbed my toe on my armchair. “Shit!”
I held onto the back of the armchair for balance and waited for the throbbing pain to pass. As my toe throbbed, visions of Allison floated in front of my eyes. Not just the polished version of her that I took out on dates, but the shy employee version. The more I thought about her and remembered her from the office, the more I realized that both versions were equally beautiful.
I’d been such an idiot. Now she was gone. She was so pissed off. I’d insulted her in the worst way. I’d insulted her appearance and her integrity. Shit. I could still picture how she’d looked when she yelled at me, her hair loose about her shoulders, the way her hands had trembled. How tight her shoulders had gotten beneath the elegant green sheath she’d worn on our date last night. How her chest had heaved, thrusting her breasts forward. I was the biggest bastard. She was going to hate me forever, now.
The worst part was my cock hadn’t ever been this hard, not in my whole life. I wanted to take her in my arms and taste her all over again, show her all the pleasure in the world. Allison, Phillygirl, whoever the hell she was, I wanted her more than ever.
Edge of Passion
The Edge Series, Book Four
(An Alpha Billionaire Romance)
By
Ellie Danes
&
Katie Kyler
www.Ellie Danes.com
www.KatieKyler.com
Chapter 1
Allison
I woke up to a face full of fur and Bub’s gentle purr. At least someone was content. Two days ago, I was waking up in Joshua’s sleek and stylish bedroom with slightly sore muscles and a post-sex glow. I rubbed my eyes as I stared at the grandma-style flowered curtains as Bub attempted to nuzzle in closer. This wasn’t my dream morning by a long shot.
Just freaking fantastic. I pulled the covers over my head.
How could you, Allison? I wondered. Really? Telling him off, telling him he wasn’t enough of a real man to have a relationship? I’d just pissed off Philadelphia’s most eligible billionaire. It’d be a freaking miracle if I didn’t show up at work tomorrow and get handed a termination letter. It would be politely worded, of course. Some kind of form from HR. Muted gray paper, or maybe that sick-looking green. Whatever color, it would be signed with Joshua’s name in fresh black ink. Not a stamp. He would sign it personally. Maybe he’d press so hard the tip of the pen would tear the paper, like he was trying to blot out my existence.
What a raging asshole. I rarely got angry, but this had pushed me over the edge. Losing his temper with me, when he was the one who couldn’t see the truth right in front of his horny, hormone-addled eyeballs? I’d been literally there, right next to him almost, every work day.
And calling me frumpy? I wanted to strangle him with the belt from one of my pantsuits. Eat that. Frumpy. I certainly wasn’t frumpy when I was lying naked beside him.
Just the same, there’d been a side to him I’d never seen before. The caring, adoring side of him that practically worshipped me. He’d come out of his pattern of dating hot blonde models, and he hadn’t seemed to have any regrets about that…until yesterday morning.
I’d tried hard not to cry on the short cab ride home. The driver had ignored my sniffling until we almost reached my apartment, then he’d passed a box of tissues over the seat. The kindness of a stranger made me want to cry even more. I must have seemed so pathetic, taking the cab ride of shame home. He’d probably seen it a million times. I wondered how many other women had reached into his sad box of tissues to wipe away the tears of rejection.
When I’d gotten home, Jess was gone. She’d left a note on the counter, saying there’d been a minor emergency involving the storage of some of her old prom dresses, so she’d gone to her dad’s house and would be back on Monday. I couldn’t help but laugh at the thought of any sort of emergency involving old prom dresses. I laughed a little bit harder at the thought that Jess had actually kept them. I guess I might have too, had I gone to prom.
Another boring Sunday. I should be hanging out with Joshua,
living my dream; instead, I had grocery shopping to do, and no will to get out of bed. I’d stare at my flower-patterned curtains and do the whole lazing about and whining about my ruined love life thing, slowly stumble into unemployment, lose my car, get kicked out of my apartment, and scavenge for food in the city dump with Bub at my side.
As if listening to my thoughts, Bub meowed from the other side of the comforter.
“Forget it, Bub,” I said. “Have you tried the city dump?”
He pawed at the blankets. I just let him, as I let the tears seep from my eyes and trail down the sides of my head toward my ears. I hated crying while lying down. So messy.
Bub got a paw into my tent of misery and made the passage bigger until he could poke his head inside. He meowed again.
Fine. I wouldn’t let Bub starve to death just because I was heartsick and feeling sorry for myself.
I shuffled into the kitchen, kicking aside an empty carton of ice cream that I hadn’t been motivated enough to throw away last night. Bub had gotten into it. He had a delicate stomach and—sure enough. There was the cat barf, centered on the kitchen floor. I cleaned it up with some paper towels, cursing the world.
Bub whined some more and I hesitantly decided to feed him. I wasn’t up for cleaning any more messes. I finished and then fumbled at the coffee maker. I needed some caffeine to jump-start this wreck of a day. I stifled the urge to text Jess. She always had some good advice, but I knew she was probably dealing with drama of her own. Things were sketchy between her and her stepmom, so I didn’t want to interrupt whatever fragile truce they might be forming about the prom dresses.
I had sent a text yesterday, just so she wouldn’t be surprised by my moodiness when she came back. I scanned through the texts as I remembered how upset I was.
Allison: Joshua’s a dickhead
Jess: What happened? Where is he? Where r u?
Allison: I’m fine. Home. Just mad. Sad
Jess: I’ll come home. I’ll be there in three hours. Leaving now
Jess: What kind of ice cream do you want?
Allison: No, don’t. I’m fine. I can get my own ice cream. You visit with your dad. Rescue your prom dresses. I’ll fill you in later.
Jess: Are you sure?
Allison: Yes
Jess: Okay. I love you. Call or text if you need anything. <3
I stumbled into the bathroom, a cup of black coffee in hand, hoping that whatever magic was inside could make me feel a hell of a lot better and wake me up. The hot water streamed down my face and washed away the tears. I’d never been one to cower for days, but Joshua had really turned my world upside down. I was a take-charge sort of girl who could pull herself together and get shit done.
Getting out would be good. Some sunshine. Some healthy food…I would force myself to buy something to counteract all the ice cream.
Cookies, perhaps.
I slumped against the shower wall, and the cool fiberglass chilled my skin as the hot water beat down on my body. I was already falling prey to the malaise I was feeling. The break-up hangover. It had never been this bad before, not with any guy I’d dated. Of course, I reminded myself, I hadn’t liked any of them a whole hell of a lot. Joshua had been a different kind of boyfriend altogether, someone I’d felt myself really falling for. Those gorgeous eyes, his steady hands. The way his skin tasted, the way he held my hips when he was about to climax. I wondered if I could even call him a boyfriend considering he didn’t really know who the hell I was.
Pressure built behind my eyes again as the world grew blurry. I fought back the tears..
No, Allison. Stand up straight. You can do this. Shower. Grocery store. Let’s go.
Besides, there would be people at the grocery store. I missed people. I missed Jess.
I really missed Joshua.
Chapter 2
Joshua
Just off to the side of the Neolithic Wall in Ralph Stover State Park, I sized up Madman, the bouldering route Jamie and I had come up with when we were teenagers. The rock’s flat gray color reminded me of my mood. While I changed from my approach shoes and into my tight climbing shoes, I exhaled with relief that the site was empty. I’d have this rock all to myself, and I’d conquer it like I hadn’t been able to conquer anything else. I hadn’t been able to conquer my anger, I hadn’t been able to conquer missing Allison.
When I’d woken up this morning, my house was immaculate, but empty. Books couldn’t distract me. The Fast and Furious marathon on television couldn’t distract me. I hadn’t known what to do with myself, so I’d driven here. It had been years since Jamie and I came up with our friends and scrambled around on the rock faces, but I remembered the focus it took, how absorbing the act of putting one hand above the other had been.
My toes were pinched in my climbing shoes, just like they should be. I chalked up, smelling the soft grit as I clapped my hands together. Placing one hand against the crack of the rock, I felt how solid and grounded it was. I’d been missing this kind of grounding in my life and hadn’t even known it until I met Allison, but I didn’t know how I’d get along without it, now.
I still felt like the biggest tool for not seeing her when she’d been right in front of me all along.
A soft breeze blew through my t-shirt as I stretched for one hold, then another. Trying to forget, to block out the painful fight we’d had. I stretched my muscles. I was fit and strong, and capable of this climb without a spotter or crash pad, but I had to concentrate. No more thoughts of Allison. That was why I was here, right? To forget what I was missing.
One hand over the other, flexing my legs to push me higher. It was like orchestrating a board meeting in some ways. Problem solving, troubleshooting. Navigating a route with an end in sight but not exactly sure where the holds were, what the possibilities were, until they stared me in the face, asking for a decision. I reached the last hold of Madman, and the final hold fit perfectly into my chalk-dusted hand like a trophy. After a long dry spell of not climbing at all, I’d done it.
I paused there, and turned to look out at the woods, all green with their late-spring foliage. The wind whispered through the trees, and birds called to each other. It was quiet out here. Allison would love it.
No, no thoughts of Allison. I climbed down from the end of Madman, my stomach dropping at the last jump down. Then I returned to the beginning and climbed the route again. And again. It would never get boring because each time I got better and closer to mastering it.
I trotted back to my pack, wincing at the pinch of my shoes. I rummaged for my phone and wanted nothing more than to tell Allison about this place, ask if she’d come up here with me sometime. She’d love the hiking, hell, maybe she’d even try some climbs—she wasn’t afraid of heights. I got hard just thinking of her linked to my rope, using her muscles to propel herself up the face of the cliff.
I picked up my phone. The signal was faint, but there. I opened up the Scintilla site to send her a message.
Who was I kidding? She left. I’d been an ass and yelled at her, and she left, and there was no way she’d respond to a message like this. I didn’t deserve her.
Disgusted, I tossed the phone into my pack. I’d thought this place would cure me, that it would let me forget about her for at least a little while.
But if I couldn’t forget her here, maybe I wasn’t meant to forget her at all.
Chapter 3
Allison
The next morning, the alarm clock on my phone chimed. I thought of smashing it like they did in old movies, but I couldn’t afford a new phone if I broke this one. Out of habit, I checked it for any messages from EdensNomad.
Nothing. Of course. An apology was too much to hope for.
Even a break-up text was too much to hope for.
I seethed. I wasn’t going to work ever again. That whole scenario I’d come up with yesterday, of crumbling into unemployment and homelessness, I was fine with that. It would be worth it to never see him again.
Or, if I couldn
’t handle the thought of work today, I could just call in sick. I also had some vacation time saved up. I did the math in my head. I could easily stay home for three weeks before I was unemployed.
But what did I have to hide? He was the asshole, not me. He couldn’t even see beyond a layer of make-up and a pretty dress! I shook my fist at my phone, as if he could somehow sense me doing it.
Bub pawed at my comforter again, begging for breakfast.
Shit. It was eight thirty. I stumbled toward the kitchen, scowling when I caught sight of my reflection in the hallway mirror. My hair stuck up around my head, and dark circles ringed my eyes. Continuing to the kitchen, I flicked on the switch for the coffee maker and opened a can of food for Bub. While I waited for coffee, I rushed to the bathroom. I tripped over a pile of clothes. I really did turn into a slob when Jess was out of town. Wrenching the shower faucet, I hopped in before the water was all the way warm, just to save time. “Fuck, that’s cold,” I muttered, my teeth chattering as my body tensed up.
After my shower, I finger-combed my hair and toweled off. I started to rub away the steam covering the mirror before I thought better of it. There was no time for make-up this morning—it was better to not see what I looked like.
* * * * *
When I rode the elevator to my floor, I had to hold onto the chrome railing to keep from shaking. I didn’t want to see Joshua. At the same time, I did want to see him. I wanted to settle this between us, get it out in the open. Even if we decided to end it, at least it would be over and I could stop obsessing about it. Maybe. End it. As if there was anything to actually end. It never really started.
I glanced down at my gray pantsuit. Frumpy, he’d called me. Damn, that had hurt. I dressed like a professional. Like someone who works in an office.
But as I walked to my cubicle, I looked around at the other women. They wore bright dresses or skirts, and their shoes had heels on them, unlike my flats. They weren’t dressed provocatively by any means, but just…stylish. They looked stylish. Even if they didn’t have perfectly trim bodies, their clothes fit them well, and looked good.
