by Max Lockwood
“I don’t like it, either,” Cooper told her. “But you’re right, as usual. And if they’re being this difficult, I honestly don’t care if we leave them behind.”
Clara glanced around, glad that there wasn’t anyone around them, and no one had heard.
“Cooper, you can't say things like that,” she whispered to him.
He frowned down at her. “Tell me you think differently, Clara. If they’re like this now, imagine what would happen if we tried to force them to follow us.”
Clara sighed. She didn’t need him to tell her, she could guess. It would be disastrous if they suddenly decided they wanted to come along, because nothing good would come of it. And she couldn’t refuse him, either. She felt relieved that they were staying behind. It meant their group was smaller, and easier to manage. Not to mention safer, when it was just the people she held at least some trust in.
“Either way,” Cooper finally said, “it’s true that we can't stay here anymore, so stop worrying yourself over your choices. They either like them, or they don’t, but what they do is their own choice. You’re not responsible for everyone, Clara. Please don’t try to be.”
It was hard not to when they were her opinions and decisions people were paying so much attention to, but she didn’t tell him that. No need to make him worry more.
Clara and her friends prepared to leave, including Alice and her family, Michelle, Dante, and their kids, and Felicia and Barb.
She wasn’t sure if everyone else would change their minds to come with them last minute, but they couldn’t wait them out. They’d made their decision, so they could stick by the car. No words were spoken as the ones that would be staying watched them get ready to start their journey.
Clara imagined there was some judgment in their stares, and she almost felt bad. She had been the one advocating for them sticking close together to begin with, and it was her idea to leave. Well, not just her idea alone, but she felt a lot of the stares were aimed at her. Or maybe it was just her imagination.
But there was just no way she could stick around, not with the risk it carried to her friends and family. She did feel for these people. They were scared and hungry, just as she was. But she wouldn’t let that deter her, not now. Back when this was all so fresh and she was still adjusting to how much the world had changed, maybe this would have been daunting, but she had been through and seen too much for something like this to bother her to such an extent.
A part of her felt sorry for them, but not enough to coddle them. If they wanted to be left behind, then they could stay by themselves. She cared more for her family and friends than a bunch of strangers, anyway, though Clara felt like she was losing something just thinking like that.
Whatever. If she was being honest with herself, it was something she’d lost quite a while back.
The only problem with their plans, and one of the reasons they were stalling so long, was because of her sister. While Tessa could stay up longer now than she could after she first woke up from her injury, she was still nowhere near a hundred percent. Clara watched her sister as she stood from where she’d sat inside the car since Clara put her there, clearly worried.
“How are you?” she asked, anxious.
Tessa tried to give her a smile, though it dissolved into a grimace as she raised a hand to her head. “Just a little woozy.”
But Clara followed the movement of her hand, wondering if that was the whole truth. “I think Felicia already told you about telling us when you’re in real trouble, Tess. If your head hurts, I could—”
But Tessa cut her off. “Felicia said I’d taken enough painkillers. Too much might do more harm than good. We don’t have anything to tell the time, but a lot of time needs to pass before I take any more meds, just to be safe. I took one a few moments ago.”
“Has it not kicked in, or is it just not so effective,” she asked suspiciously.
Her sister shrugged. “How would I know, Clara? I mean, not all the pain goes away, but I’m just fine being able to think.”
“But will you be able to walk?”
Tessa hesitated, and Clara knew it wasn’t a good sign. “To be honest… there is an ache in the back of my head. It grows less, but it won’t stop. And I’m having trouble sleeping.”
Clara frowned. “Tess, I see you sleep more often than not since you got hit in the head. What does that mean?”
Was it even safe to let her keep falling asleep? Or was Felicia the one that kept interrupting her sleep… but if she was still worried about a concussion, Clara felt she wouldn’t have given Tessa any meds in the first place.
“The thing is,” Tessa said. “I close my eyes, and everything is black for a bit, but then I’m startled awake. Only, I’m still so tired, so I fall asleep again. That’s why you see me sleeping so much.”
Clara bit her lip, half glad Tessa didn’t try to lie and claim she was fine, but a part of her had wanted that little bit of reassurance, even if it was a lie. Was this even normal for people when they got hit in the head? Clara had asked Felicia at some point what to expect, but she had said that it could be different for everyone, so all they could do was watch and wait.
She hated the watch and wait. And now they had run out of that time.
“Are you sure you can walk? Maybe we should stick around for a while…”
But her voice trailed off, because that wasn’t possible. She really did believe they needed to leave. The food they had left would get them through the next few days, if they limited the rations even further, but not much longer than that. The children, and Tessa especially because of her injury, would need to eat a lot more than they currently were to stay healthy. And if they waited too long, and they had to walk far, they wouldn’t get far on empty stomachs.
Curse those bastards! They really should have considered something like that could happen with such a large party. Maybe they would have been better off somehow squeezing into the other cars, no matter how uncomfortable. It might only have put off the inevitable betrayal, but it was better than being left stranded without all that many options. If she could go back, Clara would have left them all to get caught, and possibly killed, by the people that attacked her town. She felt a bit sorry for thinking that, but it was gone almost immediately. She had every right to be mad at them for what they did.
Tessa sighed, dropping the hand from her head, though she still looked a little pale. “I’ll just have to endure it, Clara. You were right, we need to get out of here. And, to be honest, I don’t like being around this many strangers.”
She sent a look of unease at the group that would be staying behind.
Clara was getting tired of people telling her she was right, but she supposed it made sense, in her sister’s case. She had been hit over the head by the last group, and they had all been strangers. She hadn’t gotten anything concrete from Tessa about the incident, but Clara knew she had tried to fight back and it hadn’t meant anything in the end.
“Well… what if I—”
“I could lend a hand,” Cooper cut in before she could offer. “I’ll help Tessa on the walk.”
The look he directed at Clara told her not to argue, and she didn’t. Since he was stronger than she was, he would be better at helping her sister, because, no matter how light, her weight wasn’t exactly negligible. Clara would just exhaust herself faster, and they would both need assistance depending on how far they ended up walking. Cooper could go farther, for longer, than she could, probably, on the low rations they had.
“All right,” Felicia finally said. “I think everybody going along is ready now. So which direction should we go?”
“How about we try through the forest area?” Cooper suggested, wrapping an arm around Tessa and helping her move. “We might find some food along our way there.”
Clara sighed, shaking her head. “We’ve explored a good part of it, but we couldn’t cut through it to a neighboring town. And we didn’t find any food, either. Honestly, I’m kinda sick of those
woods after going through them for two days and getting nothing out of it.”
“It wouldn’t hurt to try. I don’t know this area that well, but we’re bound to find something if we go through that way. And, besides, it’s a better idea than going along the road. What happens if we come across other people and they want to hurt us? We’d be in plain view, the perfect targets.”
While it was a valid argument, Clara wasn’t sure where they would meet people. Once they passed this town, it would probably be another long stretch before they got near another town, and they would see the houses before they got too close, so they could make a plan then. She gave her opinion, and the others threw in their thoughts.
As they were discussing it, someone pressed a knife to Clara’s neck.
Clara panicked, but stayed still. She wanted to curse herself for being so stupid and letting her guard down. Just because these people hadn’t run off with the others didn’t mean they wouldn’t still betray them, and she’d let her anxiety over Tessa and anger over the ones that ran away cloud her mind.
“Everyone needs to drop the supplies and leave without them,” the woman holding her said. “Do it now or I swear I will slit her throat.”
The knife dug in harder as if in warning, and Clara sucked in a sharp breath before she could stop herself as her heart jumped in her throat. Clara could hear the woman’s hot breath in her ear, and tried to wriggle free, but felt the knife slice part of her skin, and didn’t dare move again. She didn’t trust her combat abilities enough to get herself out of this situation without ending up dead or dying, which was as good as dead, even with Felicia around.
Tears of frustration stung her eyes as they met Cooper’s, then Tessa’s, and she saw the answering grimness in their eyes.
“Leave me behind.”
The breathing in her ear stuttered, and the knife dug in harder, but she didn’t care. She kept her eyes on her sister and her best friend’s widening eyes, like they couldn’t believe what she was saying. No one moved.
Clara tried again.
“Don’t be a bunch of idiots. I’m serious, so listen to me. Just go and leave me here.”
She might not have wanted to die, but she didn’t want to make things harder for everyone else. But everyone immediately began to take off their backpacks to leave behind, no hesitation, like she was really worth the sacrifice, and she wanted to curse again.
“You can keep the tents,” the woman granted them. “We have plenty enough here. Leave, now.”
Once she sent the others on their way, and they started to walk away, her hold lessened enough that Clara no longer felt like every breath could potentially get her throat sliced.
As she let go of Clara, Felicia was suddenly moving, fast, and went up behind the woman. Clara was pushed away as the woman moved to defend herself, and she turned back in time to see the result of the little tussle. Clara didn’t know where Felicia got whatever she was holding in her hand, but the other woman lost as Felicia stabbed her in the neck. The knife the woman held in her own hand was dropped as her fingers grew lax, hands going up to the gaping, bloody wound in her neck to try and stop the bleeding. In seconds, she was falling back to the ground, and Clara knew if she wasn’t dead, then she soon would be. Felicia, the nurse Clara had seen jump to help people in need, just stood by and did nothing.
Everyone was left horrified, or so Clara thought, because it was how she felt. There was some yelling from all around, and the children began to cry. But Felicia didn’t even look guilty.
“Jesus, Felicia,” she muttered. “Was that really necessary? You could have just knocked her out and gotten the knife away from her.”
“It wouldn’t have been that easy without someone getting hurt, anyway. There was a window, and I took it, and I don’t think I made the wrong decision.”
Clara met Felicia’s eyes, hesitating. This wasn’t the first time she’d had a knife aimed at her, and it wasn’t exactly fun. She’d also stabbed and killed someone with a knife before, when there was a planned raid on her neighborhood that she’d helped stop. But still… her eyes slid to the children. This was broad daylight, and only one desperate enemy. Clara hadn’t seen the others that remained jumping to help her, so she must have acted on her own. It could have been handled without the bloodshed.
“I know the situation I was in and I’m grateful, Felicia, but don’t you think this was just a little overboard?”
“She was a danger to us all,” Felicia insisted. “Even to these guys here.” And she waved her hand to the ones from the group that would have stayed. “I did everyone a favor, Clara.
Clara was a little frightened of Felicia, but didn’t dare oppose her. She hadn’t seen the other woman quite like this. She’d gone with Clara on a revenge mission that would have involved killing, and Clara had seen her slit someone’s throat before, but that had been a mercy killing that the woman begged for. This was so far removed from that.
She wondered if this was what Cooper had meant. There was a time, after their neighborhood got attacked and they’d all decided to fight back, that Clara had been involved in the killing of a lot of people. They were the bad guys, in her eyes, and considering what they would have done to Clara, her family, and her neighborhood, she hadn't felt any guilt.
Actually, she had been a little too calm, and Cooper had been the one to mention it to her. He wanted her to be bothered that people had died, that she had even killed some of them with her own hands, and it had been her idea to fight back in the first place, but all Clara had thought about was the threat to their family and their food security. Those people were there to steal from them, and might have killed them.
Clara felt justified, then. She wondered if Felicia felt that way now.
Cooper had acted differently with her after that night, and it had lasted for way too long, in her opinion. She didn’t mind people that were a threat dying, but she did care about Cooper’s reaction to it.
Felicia didn’t look like she cared, though. She saw a threat, and she got rid of it. In her eyes, she wasn’t wrong, and Clara felt just a bit ashamed for fearing her, no matter how little. Felicia had just saved her life, after all, even if it was by an extreme measure.
And if she let herself look behind the fear, the ruthless side of her even agreed. Hell, if she’d been in a position to, Clara would have stabbed the woman herself.
What did bother her, though, was that Felicia had done it so uncaringly in front of everyone. Clara would have hesitated, and that might have cost Clara her life. Felicia’s uncaring attitude, while a bit worrisome, helped her in a way.
Clara thought it was dangerous, though, that someone could be like that. But then, when Clara looked and saw Felicia’s sister, her face was grim, but she didn’t look disapproving. She just sent a scowl at the body on the ground and looked away.
What had they gone through that they took something like this so lightly?
Though, that wasn’t fair, either. It wasn’t that they took it lightly, but rather saw it differently. Clara wasn’t going to be the one to start pointing fingers like she’d never gotten blood on her hands.
But they’d lingered too long, and the children were traumatized enough. They needed to make room between them and the body, and Clara didn’t want to see it either. She might not have known the woman long enough to care for her, but this was the second time someone got killed and she felt responsible.
“Everyone, we should get moving,” she encouraged. “We can’t stick around here now, and there’s no reason to stay, so let’s go.”
Again, there was no hesitation. Trusting Clara, the others followed her, leaving only one or two stragglers behind.
Chapter Seven
Clara led the way through the forest.
The kids in the group didn’t like all the walking, and that was to be expected, but Clara didn’t want to stop. She felt, the more distance they put between them and all the people they were leaving behind, the better.
There mig
ht not be something better ahead, but they didn’t need potentially dangerous people at their back, either. They stopped around midday for some short relaxation, and Clara heard the relieved breaths most of them released, not just the kids.
“Aren’t we moving a little slow?” Felicia asked, looking around.
“Really?” Clara asked, doing the same. “Did we get this far before?”
Clara couldn’t really tell—the forest just looked like a lot of trees and rocks, twigs and underbrush, so she couldn’t tell the difference. By the frustration on Felicia’s face, she wasn’t sure either, but she also wasn’t happy.
“Just how fast do we need to move, anyway?” Cooper asked from where he sat beside Clara.
Barbara was on Felicia’s other side and Cooper had Tessa leaning against his side. She looked pale, and her breathing was slightly heavy, but she had her eyes closed and Clara thought she was sleeping. Felicia had mentioned it was good for her to sleep as much as possible, and Clara was taking her word for it. They were keeping their voices low. Everyone else was a short distance away with the kids, who were acting a bit noisy, but they were all careful not to lose sight of each other.
“We need to find someplace to stop soon,” Barbara said. “Being under the cover of trees is good for protection, but there isn’t a lot of ground space to sleep on. We’ll be hungry and exhausted too soon at this rate.”
“We can find some way to compromise,” Cooper said sensibly. “If we move a lot faster, when it isn’t even easy to begin with, we’ll get even more exhausted. There’s no guarantee we’ll find any place soon.”
“I don’t think these woods are all that large, though,” Clara mused out loud. “I don’t know exactly where we are, but I have seen plenty of maps for this region. We’ll get out of the trees at some point.”
“Yeah,” Felicia muttered, “but when is the question.”
Clara tried to think back. When she was younger, their family had been big on going out on random trips. Sometimes, it was just them riding around on their bikes and calling it an adventure. But there were times when the trips were planned, and they were in a lot of different places. She knew there weren’t any large wooden areas around their town, because the time they went camping, they had to leave the state. She didn’t see the point in going where there were more trees than less, and no one had explained it to her.
