by Tara Wyatt
“You want something to drink?”
“You have any more of that cider?” she asked. She sat down on the couch and started unzipping one of her knee-high boots. Theo stared as inch after inch of creamy, pale skin came into view, the zipper sliding lower and lower. He shook his head and cleared his throat.
“Uh, yeah, I still have some.” He went to the fridge and retrieved two bottles of her favorite pear cider and headed back into the living room. She’d ditched both boots and was now sitting on the couch with her feet tucked up under her. His heart smashed against his ribs at the sight of her, curled up and at home on his sofa, like she was right where she belonged.
God, he was so fucked, wasn’t he? He had feelings for her, feelings that he couldn’t act on, feelings he didn’t know how to process, feelings he wished would just fuck right off.
He took a breath and then sat down beside her, handing her one of the bottles.
She took a sip and then leveled her gaze at him, pinning him in place with those gorgeous green eyes. “Okay. Start explaining.”
“Let me just start by saying that I’m sorry, okay? I know Giovanni’s a dick.”
She smacked his arm. “So then why did you set me up with him?”
He shrugged, once again playing at innocence. Normally, he was honest with Lauren, but he couldn’t be honest with her right now. Not about this. “I don’t know a lot of available guys who aren’t my brothers. It was the best I could do on short notice and I didn’t want you to think I wasn’t taking this whole Project Set Each Other Up thing seriously.”
Her eyes narrowed. “I think you’re lying.”
Panic shot through him, and he raked a hand through his hair. Lawyer mode activate! Activate! “Lying? What makes you think I’m lying?” He took a sip of his cider to force himself to stop talking. From all of his time in court, he knew that often the best defense was to just shut the hell up.
“Because you have liar face right now.”
“Liar face? And just what does liar face look like?”
She pointed at him, wiggling her index finger in a circle. “Like that. Theo, God. I’ve known you for a decade. I can tell when you’re lying.”
He closed his eyes, pressed his fingers to the bridge of his nose and then sighed. Maybe a half-truth would do. Maybe. “Okay. Okay. Don’t be mad.”
She arched an eyebrow at him. “That’s a reassuring start.”
“I set you up with Giovanni knowing you’d hate him.”
“But why would you do that? I don’t understand.”
“Because I’m a selfish asshole.” When she didn’t say anything, he kept talking. “I was worried that if I set you up with someone you like then…then things would change.”
“Change how?”
He shrugged. “What if you started seeing someone who isn’t cool with you having a dude for a best friend? And even if he was, we probably wouldn’t hang out nearly as much. You’d never crash here. You’d just be…things would be different.” He took another sip of his cider, trying to chase away the burning feeling in his throat.
Her expression softened. “Theo, me starting to date someone wouldn’t change our friendship.”
“No? What about when you dated Andrew? I barely saw you for the entire eleven months you guys were together. And then there was Robbie, that was a six-month disappearance. And let’s not forget the entire year you were with Tyler. When you’re in a serious relationship, it does change things. Past behavior predicts future behavior.” The words all came out in a rush.
“Okay, okay. Maybe I’ve lost myself a little in the past, and I’m sorry if I made you feel abandoned. That was never my intention, and when I start seeing someone again, I’ll try to do better with that. But, um, you know, my goal isn’t to stay single forever. Remember, the whole scared to die alone thing?”
“I know. I know. And I want you to be happy. I just…I wasn’t ready to face it yet, so I, yeah, I picked someone shitty for your date.”
“Boy, did you.”
“That bad?”
She took a sip of her drink and grabbed the throw blanket slung over the back of the couch, arranging it around herself. The fact that she was settling in was a good sign that she wasn’t pissed at him anymore. Or, at least, not super pissed.
“Let me see. We met at a coffee bar where he proceeded to tell me that my name was boring and he was going to call me Lola, basically asked me if I was up for a threesome, said I might be a stalker, implied he’d get to find out if the carpet matches the drapes, oh, and he answered his phone and said he wasn’t busy. All within the first ten minutes.”
“Holy shit. I knew the guy was a tool, but I didn’t think he’d be such a fucking douche. I’m so sorry, Lo.”
“Oh, it gets better. So we went to dinner after at this Italian place. Because, you know, I’m a nice person and I want people to think I’m nice, so I didn’t just ditch him after that even though I totally should’ve. I took a piece of bread from the breadbasket and he made a dig about laying off carbs, then hit on the waitress in front of me.”
“Wow. Just…wow. I don’t even know what to say.” But he couldn’t stop the chuckle from erupting, even though he tried to stifle it with a sip of cider.
“But wait, there’s more!” she said, doing her best infomercial voice-over impression. “When the bill came, he slid it my way, saying some bullshit about feminism and equality. So I paid and I was ready to leave—”
“You actually paid?”
“I did. You owe me a hundred and ten bucks.”
“I’ll Venmo it to you right now.” It was the least he could do after deliberately setting her up with Giovanni. He pulled out his phone to send her the money.
“Thank you. Anyway, he insisted on walking me to the subway—like, the only nice thing he did all night—and a cab drove by and splashed him a little. Theo, this guy lost it. He ended up getting into an argument with the cabbie. They were yelling at each other on the corner of Canal and Broadway, and I just headed for the subway, ready to be done with him.”
He let out a laugh, then pressed his fist against his mouth, trying to stifle it. “I’m sorry. It’s definitely not funny.”
She smirked at him, the corner of her mouth twisting up. “No, it’s definitely not funny.”
“He called you Lola.” Theo snickered, trying to hold back his laughter. Trying and on the verge of failing.
“He asked me if I was into women!” She giggled, just a little.
“He thought you’d be so into him that you’d turn into a stalker.” He chuckled, pressing his lips together.
Lauren’s eyes met his, and she bit her lip. She was able to hold back for about a second and a half before the laughter came spilling out of her, melodic and light. “I can’t believe you set me up with that guy!” she said, laughing into her hands, her shoulders shaking. “I should be so mad at you.”
He glanced at her, giving her very deliberate puppy dog eyes. “But you’re not?”
The rest of her laughter died out and her shoulders slumped as she shook her head. “No. I was pissed, but I’m not anymore. I…I get it.” Relief rushed through him. Relief and something else, something he wasn’t quite sure what to do with. She twisted her fingers together, looking down at her lap. “I mean, I’m not sure how I’d feel if you started dating someone. It’s been a while since you’ve had a girlfriend, and things…” She bit her lip and shook her head, as though struggling to physically contain whatever it was she was going to say. “Anyway, I get it.”
He leaned back, his arm sprawled over the back of the couch. The tightness in his chest had eased with their laughter and he felt like they were back on an even keel. “So does that mean I’m off the hook?”
Her eyebrows rose so high they almost reached her hairline. “Oh, hell no. I’m setting you up, and you are so going.”
He took a sip of his cider, dread settling in the pit of his stomach. “That’s what I was afraid of.”
Theo op
ened the glass door of the Integrity Souls meditation center and stepped inside, already plotting all of the ways he was going to get revenge on Lauren. He wasn’t going to buy her a chai latte for a month, for starters. He’d come up with other methods of payback, too. Even though he knew he should just accept this date and whatever was about to happen as punishment for making her endure an evening with Giovanni, he was still feeling prickly about it.
“Theo?” A petite blonde woman with the left side of her head shaved approached him, her hands clasped together in prayer at her heart. “Are you Theo?”
He nodded and forced himself to smile. “Yeah. You must be Bliss.”
Lauren had set him up with Aspen’s younger sister. Honestly, it was a pretty great move on her part if she wanted to make him miserable because she knew he couldn’t stand any of this crunchy spiritual shit. She’d swung and knocked one out of the park when it came to payback.
He held out his hand for a handshake, but she bowed, keeping her hands pressed together. “Namaste.”
He didn’t bow, just let his hand drop to his side. “Uh, yeah. Namaste, I guess.”
“Okay, everyone, grab your partner and find a comfortable spot,” said a woman from the front of the room. She was dressed in a long caftan embroidered with colorful beads and a pair of leopard print leggings. Her feet were bare, and Theo noticed that each toenail was painted a different color.
Bliss had suggested meeting here for a class of some kind, and Theo had agreed, thinking a class sounded harmless enough. They’d sit through it, maybe get a coffee after, and done, date over. They probably wouldn’t even have to talk that much, depending on what type of class it was.
Bliss took his hand and led him across the hardwood floor to a corner of the small room. Pillows and yoga mats were scattered everywhere, and a floor-to-ceiling mirror covered the wall at the teacher’s back, reflecting the small space back on itself.
“This will be such a great way to get to know each other,” she said easily, sitting down on one of the mats. She gestured for Theo to sit down across from her. He thought he’d dressed casually, but now he felt out of place in his light gray sweater, jeans, and brown boots. Everyone else was in yoga gear and bare feet.
“Uh…should I take my boots off?”
“If you wish,” said Bliss with a little shrug. “However you’re comfortable.” He shrugged and unlaced them, slipping them off and setting them to the side of his mat.
From the front of the class, the teacher rang a bell. “Everyone, please take a seat,” she said, zeroing in on Theo, who was the only one still standing. Awkwardly, he sank to the ground, sitting facing Bliss. The teacher dimmed the studio’s lights and turned on some gentle, pulsing music.
“Welcome to Tantric Couples’ Meditation for Beginners,” she said in a soothing voice as something that felt a hell of a lot like panic shot through Theo. Tantric? Wasn’t that, like, sexual? “Today, I’m going to guide you through the basics of the art of Tantra to help you better connect with your partner.” The panic intensified, feeling like fire ants crawling up and down his spine. He didn’t want to connect with Bliss. Not because there was something wrong with her. He didn’t think there was, although he’d only just met her five minutes ago. They didn’t seem to have much in common, but that wasn’t what had him on the verge of a minor freak out.
No, that was entirely related to the fact that she wasn’t Lauren.
“Please make sure your phones are turned off,” she continued. “We don’t want any distractions during our journey this evening. Now, to begin, face your partner and find a comfortable seated position. We’re going to begin with some synchronized breathing. Keeping still and without touching—don’t worry, there’ll be plenty of that later on—look each other in the eye and focus on your breath.”
Not wanting to be a jerk, Theo settled himself, met Bliss’s eyes, and started to breathe. It was just a meditation class. He could get through this. He could endure this as his penance for setting Lauren up with Giovanni.
“Good. After a moment, your breathing should start to naturally synchronize. Don’t force anything, simply relax into the breath while maintaining eye contact.”
Holding her gaze, he continued to breathe. He was surprised at how nice it felt, and he started to actually relax for the first time in a while. He held Bliss’s gaze, but even though he as looking at her, he was imagining Lauren’s green eyes. The eyes he wished he were staring into right now, not only because they were beautiful, but because they were eyes who saw him as he was and made him feel safe and accepted and cared for, no matter what. Even when he did douchey things, like set her up with an asshole because he couldn’t get his head sorted out.
An image flashed vividly across his mind: Lauren naked, spread out on his bed, staring up at him with those gorgeous green eyes as he moved inside her. He could almost feel it—her hard nipples against his chest, her fingers in his hair, her legs around his thrusting hips. Soft moans and strangled cries filling his ears as her wet heat engulfed him, pulling him deeper inside, finally, finally…Blood rushed to his dick, making it strain against his jeans. He shifted subtly, trying to hide what was happening inside his pants.
God, he was the worst, wasn’t he? He was here on a date with another woman—because he was too fucking chicken to be honest with the only woman he cared about—getting hard thinking about Lauren. Lauren who he wouldn’t let himself date because he knew he’d screw it all up, and then he’d lose her. The thought of a Lauren-less life was a cold, dark one. He couldn’t let that happen.
“Be as present as you can with your partner,” said the teacher, ripping Theo back to the classroom and out of his thoughts. “If your mind wanders off, gently guide your attention back to the breath and your partner’s eyes. Relax. Let it come naturally.”
Right now, with all of his warring thoughts about Lauren swirling through his mind, relaxed was pretty damn far from how Theo felt. But he forced himself to stay still and do his best to be in the moment.
Just then, a thought occurred to him. Had Lauren set him up with Bliss as a punishment, or had she done it for the same reasons he’d set her up with Giovanni?
Whoa.
What if…?
His insides felt like he’d been struck with lightning, all hot and glowing and fully charged with energy.
“Tantra is all about being conscious and loving with your partner in the present moment,” said the teacher, once again interrupting his train of thought. “Now that we’ve connected mentally, we’re going to spend the next five minutes connecting verbally with our partners. Share what’s on your minds, remembering that this is a judgement free zone. Be fearless! Listen attentively and share boldly.”
Theo shot Bliss a hesitant smile. “Would you like to go first?”
She tipped her head to one side. “Sure. I’ll tell you a bit about myself, and then you can do the same. I’m a Pisces and I own my own shop here in Chelsea. It’s called Earth’s Garden, and we sell all kinds of things, from crystals and tarot cards to books and incense. I started it about three years ago and we’re doing well.” She tapped her finger on her lips. “What else? I’m single, obviously, and I grew up in a spiritual community with my sister and our parents. I’m looking for someone open-minded, loving, caring and in touch with his spiritual side. My dream is to open more stores under the Earth’s Garden umbrella. I’d also like to travel more. Last year, I went on a tour of Irish forests led by druids. I’m a raw vegan and living as natural a lifestyle as possible is very important to me.” She let out a little giggle. “I sound like I’m writing an online dating profile! Oh! And I have a Scottish Fold cat named Gaia. Okay, I’ve talked enough. Tell me about you.”
He cleared his throat. “Uh, well…my birthday is January 31st, so I think that makes me an Aquarius,” he said, flashing her a smile, “and I’m also a family law attorney. I’ve been practicing for about five years now. Um…” He trailed off, trying to think of something else to say. “I’
m also single, obviously, and Lauren—Aspen’s roommate—and I have been friends for like ten years now. I have three brothers and a sister who I’m close with, but I don’t really get along that well with my parents.”
“And what are you looking for in a partner?”
He hesitated. “Uh, well…I don’t really date much, to be honest, so I guess I haven’t given it much thought.”
“Why don’t you date much?”
It was a simple enough question, but not one he felt like unpacking here and now with someone who was practically a stranger. “Uh, just busy, I guess.”
She narrowed her eyes slightly, as though she didn’t believe him, but the teacher began talking again. “We’re now going to move into a new meditation position. Everyone, please stand.”
Reluctantly, Theo pushed to his feet. Thankfully, the conversation had killed his hard-on. More and more, this whole date was just feeling like a bad idea. Like he was doing something wrong by being out with another woman.
“Make eye contact with your partner,” continued the teacher. “And then step closer together.” He took the smallest possible step forward. A prickling sense of discomfort crept along his skin. “Place your right hand on your hearts.” He did, feeling the soft thump of his heart against his palm. The skin there tingled, vibrating with how badly he wished the woman standing in front of him were Lauren. How badly he wanted to reach out and touch her heart. Feel its beat underneath his palm. “Now we’re going to perform something called the tantric cosmic handshake. Take your left hand and place it over the penis or vagina of your partner.”
“Whoa,” he said, raising his hands in front of him, immediately stepping back, although he was relieved to note that Bliss hadn’t reached for him. “Yeah, that’s not happening.”
Bliss pressed her fingers to her lips, letting out a little giggle. “I didn’t realize it was going to get so intimate so quickly. Do you want to go?”
He reached down and picked up one of his boots, shoving his foot in it, having to hop in place to keep his balance. “Definitely. No offense. I just…we just met, and…” He didn’t know why he felt the need to explain himself. After all, she was the one who’d chosen the class as their date. With one boot on, he grabbed for the other one, jamming his foot into it. His balance wavered and he hopped to the right, trying to steady himself. He’d almost steadied himself when he hopped sideways just a little too far and crashed into the large gong in the corner of the classroom, a loud clashing sound erupting from it. He managed to right both it and himself before any major harm was done. Every single set of eyeballs in the room was glued to him, most of them glaring with impatience.
