by Lisa Suzanne
His mouth opens to mine, and that’s when the music stops—or it keeps going, I don’t know, because all I’m aware of are my primal instincts. I meet his hips as they push to mine, our bodies pressed together as passion takes over. My hands trail up to feel his hair. It’s soft and thick, and I luxuriate in rolling a few strands around my fingertips. His hands grip my back, fingertips digging into the exposed flesh, as if it’s the only way he can prevent himself from getting me naked in the middle of a crowded dance floor.
He breaks our kiss first. He’s a bit breathless and I’m a panting mess.
He leans into me, pulling me into a hug and nuzzling my neck. He turns so his lips are near my ear. “I’ve wanted to do that since that morning you ran into me when you got off the elevator.”
I think to myself that I’ve wanted that, too, but I was scared, too caught up in my own head, too stupid to see what was right in front of me. He’s a catch, and I’ve been pushing him away because I can’t stop thinking about a pipe dream.
But I won’t allow myself to continue to be stupid.
“So much for taking things slow,” I mutter.
He chuckles then grabs my hand. “Come with me,” he says. “I want to show you something.”
He leads me through the mass of sweaty bodies and into another room of the club. A security guard waves us in almost as if he knows Brian. This room is much less crowded than the dance floor, and it’s quiet—exclusive. It feels more private even though we’re definitely not alone.
The room reminds me of a library. I follow Brian toward a wall of bookcases filled with books. We pass a long, walnut bar, wooden pool tables with burgundy felt, and some soft, sexy leather club chairs surrounding smaller coffee tables. It’s warm and cozy in here, like I could curl up in one of the cushy leather chairs for hours with a book. You’d never guess it was part of a nightclub—in fact, I can’t even hear the music next door unless someone opens the door.
Brian leads me over to the wall with the books. “What’s your favorite book?” he asks.
I shrug. “How do you pick just one?”
He chuckles. “I like anything by Steinbeck. My favorite is probably East of Eden.”
“Why?”
“I learned a lot from it. Steinbeck’s work has so many layers.”
“I find that book a little dark.”
“Why?”
“He said love makes people suspicious.”
“Doesn’t it, though?” He lifts a shoulder. “He also said something about evil, ugly things growing inside us all.”
“And here I was about to tell you my favorite book is an erotic romance.”
He chuckles. “You like the ones with the dominants and submissives?”
I shrug nonchalantly and pretend I don’t feel the heat creeping into my cheeks. “Sure. I’ll read anything.”
“You feel the same way about sex?” he asks, his voice low and gritty.
Thank God I’m drunk for this conversation, because I don’t think I could sober talk about sex so easily with someone I hardly know. “Are you asking if I want to be dominated?” I’m not exactly sure how to answer. I’m far from submissive, but I also don’t mind when a man wants to take charge. “Not as a lifestyle.”
“But on occasion is okay?” he asks. His voice is husky and warm.
I laugh nervously. “Why, are you a dominant or something?”
He laughs back, but there’s no trace of nerves there. “No, I’m not, but I do enjoy calling the shots.”
I raise an eyebrow, grateful for the low lights in this room to cover my burning cheeks. “I like it that way on occasion, too.”
“Sounds like we’re a match.”
“I guess we’ll see.”
“We will?”
I nod. “Yeah.”
He laughs. “I like you, Reese.”
“That’s not the first time you’ve mentioned that.”
“If I say it enough times, maybe you’ll start to like me back.”
“Yeah. Or maybe I’ve already started.”
He shoots me a smile that’s hot enough to melt my panties right off, and it’s confirmed. I’m smitten.
He leans in and presses a soft kiss to my lips. We don’t make out like we did on the dance floor just a few minutes ago, but something is definitely different between us. It’s the start of something new—butterflies, excitement, nerves, tingles. It’s the feeling you hope lasts forever even though you know it’ll fade with time.
I follow Brian over to the bar as hope blooms in my chest. He gets us each a fresh drink. We find an open club chair, but just one. It’s by itself off to the side of the room, sort of in a quiet back corner. He sits and pats his lap, and I carefully position myself on his knee. I’m in a short, tight dress, after all, and we barely know each other. He chuckles before he pulls me closer, and I’m careful to keep my legs pressed together so I don’t flash everyone in the library room.
I remind myself that this is Reese’s Big Summer of Sin. I throw caution to the wind as I purposely grind my ass across the erection that’s digging into it, and I take a sip of my drink, trying my hardest to act like this is all good and normal, like we’ve known each other for ages.
I lean into him, and I feel the hard planes of muscle hidden beneath his shirt as they bow and flex beneath my arm. He leans over me and nuzzles my neck, and then his fingertips start a slow ascent up my thigh until he reaches the hem of my dress. He keeps going, and my eyelids flutter closed at his touch. I lean more heavily into him and let out a low moan as my legs automatically fall apart and the ache that’s been clawing at me all night starts to blister with an unbearable fire.
I turn my head to catch his lips against mine, desire raging through me as the ache becomes agonizing. He kisses me back with firm assurance, deepening our connection with his tongue as one of his fingers tugs on the side of my panties, like he’s going to finger me right here in the middle of the club in a chair where anyone can see us.
It’s terrible of me, especially considering I feel like I’m too old to pull off this dress and I’m terrified I might run into a student’s parent…but I want this. I want him to shove his long finger right inside of me, to thrust in and out, to drive me to an orgasm. It won’t take long. He’s been pushing me toward it all night.
It was only a matter of time, and the club around us fades away as all my sensations direct their focus onto his mouth, his hand, his fingers.
“There you two are!”
The interrupting voice is familiar, cutting into a moment meant for privacy behind closed doors, not meant for the middle of a nightclub.
Our kiss breaks, and my eyes flutter open. Brian’s face looms large in front of me, inches from my own, and his eyes are as disappointed and frustrated as I feel. He presses another soft kiss to my lips and casually lowers his hand before turning toward the offending voice.
“I want to dance with you,” Tess says, shaking my shoulder. “Let’s go find Jill.”
“I’m pretty comfortable right here,” I say, but it’s useless. She pulls me up off Brian’s lap and tugs me back toward the main room.
I turn around and mouth sorry to Brian.
“What’s going on with you two?” Tess demands as soon as we’re out of earshot.
“Nothing now since you interrupted us.”
She narrows her eyes at me. “The straight and narrow Reese Brady was going to get nasty in the middle of a club? I don’t buy it.”
She doesn’t need to buy it as far as I’m concerned, but a part of me is glad she interrupted us. As much as I wanted Brian to take me right in that chair, it wouldn’t have been right.
Not when I can’t stop thinking about another man, no matter how much I try to convince myself otherwise.
nine
I didn’t sleep with him. As Tess would tell me, it was an amateur move.
In fact, I didn’t do anything more than kiss him and get felt up a little on that club chair in the library room, and I’m o
kay with that. We danced until our feet hurt, and the idea of going home with someone I hardly know seemed less appealing than it did earlier in the midst of a vodka haze.
I wake up to the sound of my phone notifying me that I have a new text.
Brian: I need to see you again.
Me: Texting me this early isn’t the way to get into my good graces.
My phone rings a second later, and his name flashes across my screen. I clear my throat before I answer. “Hello?”
“You do realize it’s after ten, don’t you?”
“No, I didn’t.”
He laughs. “It’s not early. I wanted to call you four hours ago when I got up, but I decided to be a gentleman.”
“You should’ve waited another hour.”
“You’re grumpy in the morning,” he teases.
“And you’re a little too chipper. What can I do for you?”
“When can I see you again?”
“Any weekday after eleven in the morning.”
He laughs again, and I like the way his laugh warms my chest. “Do you have plans next Saturday?”
“I don’t know.” I’m muttering into my pillow and he’s laughing at me. I’m not normally such a bitch in the mornings, but I may be a little hungover on this particular morning.
“I’m renting a cabana at Mandalay Bay and I want you there.”
I sit up a little straighter and focus on what he’s asking me. A day at the pool at Mandalay sounds like a day in heaven.
“Bring your friends. Beck and Jason haven’t stopped talking about them.”
I laugh. “I’ll see what I can do.”
“I wish I could see you sooner than Saturday, but I need to head out of town this week for work.”
“That’s okay. I’ve got big plans.”
“Oh yeah? Like what?”
“Sleeping in.”
*
I’m having lunch later that afternoon with Tess when I bring up Brian’s proposition. “Would you be interested in hanging out at a cabana at Mandalay Bay next weekend?”
“Hell. Yes. Have you been to the pool there?”
I shake my head.
“It’s only like the best pool in all of Vegas. It has a beach and no shortage of delicious men.”
I roll my eyes. “You should probably know that Brian is the one who asked me, and Becker and Jason will be there, too.”
“So?” She takes a sip of her diet Coke. “We’re just screwing. We’re not official or anything.”
“Wait.” I hold up both hands as if I’m telling her to stop. “What?”
“What?” She looks at me with innocence.
“You slept with Jason?”
“Of course I did. I told you, it’s practically payment for a night out.”
“When? Where? And…what?”
She laughs. “I invited him back to my place. You were busy sticking your tongue down Foxy Fox’s throat saying goodbye.”
“Well, how was it?”
She lifts a shoulder. “Good.”
“That’s it? Usually you have a lot more adjectives.”
“It was amazing, okay? But we’re keeping it casual.”
I can’t tell if that’s by her choice or his, but she doesn’t seem thrilled about it. She changes the subject.
“Noteworthy is playing the Hard Rock Hotel pool Saturday night. It’s sold out but I can probably score a few tickets. You wanna go?”
“Do you think you can get six and we can just go after the cabana?”
She looks a little uncomfortable. “I don’t know.”
“What’s wrong, Tess?”
She shakes her head. “Nothing. I just don’t want to spend the whole day with them and then the night, too.”
“Why not?”
“Because we don’t know them. It’s a lot of time with people we don’t know.”
“We’ll be together. Besides, don’t you sort of know Jason pretty well after last night?”
Her eyes narrow in my direction, and I think I’ve hit a nerve.
*
In the political game of seeing someone new, I decide to hold off texting Brian about the Noteworthy show until tomorrow. We decide Saturday night is girls’ night at our house.
With the newest Ryan Reynolds movie pulled up on Netflix and enough nail polish to fill a salon, Jill and I get to work on our nails while we gossip about last night. Jill’s already gushing about next weekend and we haven’t even finalized plans yet.
“I like him, Reese.” She picks up three pink polishes that are all nearly the same color as she tries to choose which one to use.
“You got to know him all of one night.”
“Maybe that was all I needed.” She avoids eye contact as she sets down the polishes, like she’s embarrassed that she has such strong feelings after one night.
Her words hit me hard. All she needed was one night? I brush off the thought. “Do you think you’re ready for something new?”
She lifts a shoulder. “I think so. It’s been six months since Adam.”
“There’s no time limit either way.” I pick up one of the bottles she set down and study it.
“I know. I just want to move forward. I’m sick of being stuck in this weird place where I don’t trust men because one guy cheated on me. I think Becker might be the right guy to move forward with.”
“After one night?”
“We’ll see. He’s cute, he’s smart, and he’s funny. And he’s a good kisser.”
I giggle. “Well he’s got all the bases covered then.”
“What about you?”
It’s my turn to avoid eye contact. “What about me?” I ask, filing a nail that doesn’t need filing just so I have something to focus on.
“How are things with Brian?”
“I’m not sure. One minute I’m ready to burn the sheets with him, and the next I’m pulling myself back.”
“Why?” she presses. She knows the answer, and I hate when the investigative part of her personality forces its way into our talks.
“You know why.”
“Mark?” She says his name quietly, as if it’ll soften the blow of hearing his name.
It doesn’t. “Yeah.” I study my nails, refusing to look in her direction.
I hear the rough scratch of a nail file come from her direction. “It’s only been a week. There’s no need to rush into something else.”
“I keep thinking about this dress I wanted,” I muse.
“A dress? What dress?”
I finally set down my file and blow out a breath. “I lusted after this dress for weeks. Every time I was at the mall, I went to the store to visit it. It was gorgeous, perfect for summer. I thought of every possible event I could wear it to. The price tag was a little heavy, and I was waiting for my next paycheck to splurge on it and treat myself. When I went to get it, my size was sold out. They checked online for me, and they were all gone. None in stock. Discontinued.”
“What does that have to do with Brian?” She sets down her file and picks up one of the pink polishes.
“What if I wait for this great guy until I’m ready and then he’s not there anymore?”
“If he’s the right one, he’ll still be there.”
She’s right, but this conversation has made me realize I don’t have time to waste. I’m not seeing him until next weekend, anyway, but I shoot off the text I’d promised myself I’d save until tomorrow.
Me: Do you, Becker, and Jason have plans Saturday night after the cabana?
Brian: I’ll check. Why?
Me: Noteworthy is playing Hard Rock Hotel. Tess is trying to get tickets.
It takes a few minutes for him to reply, so I assume he’s checking with his friends.
Brian: We’re in. Tell Tess not to worry about getting the tickets. I’ll get them.
Me: It’s sold out.
Brian: I know. I’m on it.
The mysteries continue to build. Money isn’t an object to him and he has access to sold
out concerts. Who is this man and why is he so interested in me?
ten
As we walk through Mandalay Bay to meet the men on Saturday morning, my traitorous thoughts go immediately to the last time I was at this hotel. Posters advertising upcoming bands adorn the walls. I stared at one of those posters not so long ago and felt the man in the center of the image staring back at me, just like I felt his eyes on me as I stood against the stage gazing up at him.
Vail isn’t in any of the advertisements now that their concert date has passed, but his image is still burned in my mind.
I keep thinking I’ll spot him sitting at one of the Blackjack tables or walking out of one of the bars. That night I spent with him brought him from this inaccessible rock god down to human level, if only for a few hours.
But now he’s back to the inaccessible rock god, the man every woman would love a night with, the man who works a stage unlike anybody else, the man who was on a reality television show and became a household name.
We spot the men near the entrance to the pool, and I force the unhealthy thoughts away.
“Why don’t you all head to the pool while I get us checked in?” Brian suggests.
“I’ll come with you,” I say. I’m back to this weird dynamic of wanting to be with him versus extreme hesitance to get into something I’m not ready for.
A week away from him made me realize something, though: I really like him.
I’m afraid to admit it, but part of me feels like he’s exactly what I need to move on from that night that’s still so fresh in my mind two weeks later. I don’t want it to be fresh. I want the memory to fade, yet I’m holding onto it like a lifeline. I’m a walking contradiction.
Brian snags my hand in his as we make our way toward the checkin desk. The clerk taps a few keys then says, “You’ve reserved a sun villa on our third floor. It has a private pool for villa users and six lounge chairs. The covered portion has a daybed, television, counter, and small refrigerator. Your total comes to nine seventy-five for the day.”
Brian hands over his beautiful, black AmEx while I try not to choke on that total.
The hostess taps a few more keys and then shows us a map of where to go. “The villa has towel service, and anything you need will be there.”
It better freaking have towel service for almost a thousand bucks. I’m in awe that this is my life for today, and as I allow my gaze to settle on Brian’s muscular calves, I’m thrilled that I get to spend the day with this sexy man who’s already starting to help me forget.
