And my heart stops.
My hand is shaking as I click on Alessandro’s e-mail.
Dearest Lexie,
The Galleria Nazionale d’Arte Antica notified me that you’d received the internship offer. I’ve been in Rome for the past few days and went to the gallery today, expecting to find you there. I was surprised when they told me you’d turned the offer down. Whatever the reason for your choice, I hope you’re happy.
I’m writing because I feel the need to apologize for myself. I felt this would be best done in person, but as there is now a continent separating us, I’ll have to rely on modern technology to relay my sincere regret for the way I exploited your trust.
I encouraged you to confide in me. I took advantage of my position to earn your trust, then I betrayed it and your friendship by making advances. I knew you didn’t love me. I knew your true affections lay elsewhere, and I put you in an impossible position. I will be forever sorry for that.
I am still unsure of my path, but it is becoming more clear. I don’t believe I’m well suited for the priesthood, but I believe, through the children’s ministry, I can still serve and make a difference. Father Costa’s support has been invaluable. I’ve confessed my shortcomings to him and the Lord, and through his counsel I’ve begun to sort through how I came to the place I am now and what the proper course is from here. It’s been a painful lesson, but I feel stronger knowing the truth. Not everyone is meant for the calling. You helped me see that I am not.
My grandparents ask about you often and send you their warmest regards. I would be grateful for a reply so can I pass your news along to them. Mom asks about you as well. She’s doing better now that I’ve left the priesthood.
I wish you much happiness, Lexie, and I hope there’ll come a time you can look back on our months together in Rome fondly. I know I’ll never forget you.
All Warm Wishes,
Alessandro
I don’t hear the door open, which means I must have been truly zoned out because the hinges still squeak.
“Hey,” Trent says, sweeping my hair aside and leaning down behind me to kiss the ticklish spot just below my ear. He’s in a fresh T-shirt and jeans, and he smells like soap.
I reach up and grab a fistful of his damp brown hair, nuzzling my face into it. “Sam is going to hate us forever.”
He turns his head and kisses me properly, hard on the lips. “She’ll get over it.”
“How are we going to do this?” I ask, my heart twisting in my chest. “People are going to think—”
“We’ve been over this, Lexie,” he interrupts. “We can hide forever, or we can tell people. There aren’t many other choices.”
“We could move to Machu Picchu,” I say with a cringe.
“Americans are getting kidnapped there.” I hear the smirk in his voice as he stands behind me and rubs my shoulders, and even though I want to be mad, I feel myself melting into his capable hands.
“We have to tell our parents first,” I say, tipping my cheek into the back of his hand as the tension slips out of my shoulders.
“And then I’ll talk to Sam,” he says.
And the tension is back.
“She thinks we’re conspiring.” I blow out a breath and roll my neck. “She has no idea.”
He leans over my shoulder and kisses me again, then starts to pull me out of my desk chair by the hand. “I’m all for a little conspiring,” he says with a wicked smile.
I untwist my fingers from his. “Give me a minute, okay? I have to answer this e-mail.”
He looks over my shoulder at the laptop screen. “That the priest?”
I nod. “He’s not going through with it, I guess.”
He looks at me. “Because of you?”
I’ve told Trent everything. He knows about what happened with Alessandro on my dining-room table, and he knows I stopped because of him.
I shrug. “Partly. He says what happened with us helped him see that he wasn’t meant for the priesthood.”
“Take your time.” He backs toward my bed and flops onto it. “I’ll just be over here.”
I smirk over my shoulder at him. “Like your lying on my bed looking all, ‘do me, Lexie,’ isn’t going to distract me.”
He clicks on my TV, queuing up Warcraft, then adjusts the pillows and props his head in his free hand. I take a second to ogle the sliver of perfect bronze skin between the hem of his T-shirt and the waistband of his jeans.
“Do me, Lexie,” he whispers with a covert smile as Jethro charges headlong into a barrage of orcs. His amused gaze flicks to mine, and he grins.
I roll my eyes, then turn back to my computer screen and hit REPLY.
I breathe deep, trying to remember all the things I was prepared to tell Alessandro if I’d found him at the rectory after Easter.
Dear Alessandro,
I don’t know where to begin. I feel like what happened between us was more because I wasn’t respectful of boundaries. I knew nothing could ever happen between us, or at least, that’s what I thought, so I flirted with you and led you on. It was horrible and selfish. I just never thought it all the way through, and I’m so sorry for that. I never realized what I was doing to you.
That night in my apartment, you asked if I had feelings for you. I do. You are probably the best person I will ever know, and you will always hold a special place in my heart. I have always believed that you could make a difference in this world, and I know no matter what path you choose from here, you will do exactly that. But you’re right, my true feelings lie with Trent. He’s asked me to marry him. We haven’t told our parents yet, but we’re going to have to. Soon.
Thank you so much for everything you did on my behalf regarding the internship. I’m sorry to have disappointed you. It was a painful decision, but after a lot of soul-searching, I just felt like I needed to come home. And, yes, I’m happy. I hope you find happiness too.
Please say hello to your family for me.
All warm wishes,
Lexie
I hit SEND and stare at my screen for another minute before flipping my laptop closed. “So, we’re doing this tonight?” I ask as I stand and face Trent.
“I don’t want to keep sneaking around, Lexie.” Trent pauses Warcraft and hauls himself off the bed, wrapping his arms around me and pulling me into his body.
And, mmm…
I kiss his Adam’s apple. “Me either, but it’s not like they’re going to let me move into your bedroom or anything.”
He tips his head and looks down at me. “I told you, this isn’t about the sex. This is about us spending the rest of our lives together.”
“It’s a little about the sex,” I murmur into his chest.
I feel his chuckle under my cheek.
The truth is, since I’ve been home, I’ve become a total nymph. I want Trent all the time. Most nights, I’m in his bed as soon as our parents turn out the lights downstairs. I’ve gotten pretty good at being quiet when Trent does what he does and makes me feel what he makes me feel, but there are times I just have to bite on a pillow as I scream and hope our parents are sound sleepers.
We haven’t been getting much sleep, but I’ve never felt so alive.
Dad is usually up for work by six, so Trent sets his alarm for five so whoever’s not where they belong can go back to their own bed before anyone finds us. He’s right. It’s been four weeks of sneaking around, and I know it’s wrong, but the fact is, if our parents know about us, they’re likely to start paying attention to our whereabouts, which wouldn’t bode well for my newfound nymphomania.
I slip my fingers under the waistband of Trent’s jeans, tracing along the small of his back, around the sides to his cut abs, and end at the button of his jeans, which I flick open.
“Lex,” he warns with a glance at the door, but it’s halfhearted because his fingers are trailing along the curve of my breast. His thumb finds my hardening nipple and rubs through my clothes, and I want his skin on mine.
Now
.
“Julie’s shopping.” I pull my shirt off as he unhooks my bra, and before I know it, he’s lifted me off the ground and carried me the few steps to the bed. He lays me down and tugs his shirt over his head as I kick my jeans and thong to the floor.
He glances back at the door as if he’s thinking twice.
“Uh-uh, mister,” I say as he starts to balk where he stands at the side of the bed. “Don’t even think about quitting now.” I sit up on the bed and unzip him, freeing his sizable erection from his navy boxer briefs. I pull him to me with a belt loop, so he’s standing between my knees, then grab him with both hands and squeeze as I lean forward. When I take him into my mouth, he tips his head back, and moans. “Christ, Lexie.”
I’m not playing fair. He would never ask me for it, but I know he lives for this.
He tastes salty as I sheathe my teeth behind my lips and suck him deep into my mouth. I roll my tongue over him and move slowly, gliding his length in and out. His moans make me want to keep going, to make him feel as good as his mouth on me makes me feel. But his fingers in my hair tighten as his erection grows harder and starts to pulse, and he pulls me back.
“Lexie,” he gasps, and I know he’s right on the edge of coming.
I look up at him. “You don’t have to stop,” I say, rolling my tongue over the tip of his thickness. “I’d be okay with it.”
He grins wicked and presses me back onto the bed, hooking his hands through my knees and spreading me wide. “Nope,” he says, “ladies first.” He kneels at the side of the bed, and the next second, his mouth is on me.
“Oh, shit,” I gasp when his tongue flicks my clit.
His fingers glide inside me and twist as he sucks, and shit! I gasp again as stars flash in my eyes, and I feel dizzy. He has my head spinning and my body aching for him in two seconds flat. How does he do that? With his free hand, he spreads my legs wider and trails his hand between them, pressing a wet finger hard into my clit as his tongue swirls in my belly button. My body has a will of its own, and I writhe with the rhythm of his fingers, gliding in and out. Then his mouth is on me again, and this time, when he flicks his tongue and sucks, the stars I was seeing explode through my body, and every synapse short-circuits as I cry out.
My whole body buzzes like a high-tension electrical wire as Trent reaches into my nightstand drawer. He kicks his jeans off and crawls onto the bed, lying on his side next to me. He kisses my neck and brings me out of the stratosphere and back to the bedroom. My senses start to return, and I take the condom from his hand and tear it open, then push him onto his back and roll it onto my new favorite part of his anatomy. He watches with hungry eyes as I straddle his hips and ease his length inside me.
And that’s all it takes to get me going again.
One second, I’m totally spent, and the next I feel the tension build in my belly again as he fills me. My groin pulses with the pounding of my heart as I move on top of him. He pumps from below and rubs his thumb in circles over my clit. “Oh, God,” I breathe with every thrust until it all just blends into one long, animal mewl. He presses harder and pumps faster until my body becomes nothing more than a ball of raw nerve endings—all sensation. I feel everything tenfold: the sweat tricking between my breasts, the brush of my hair over my back as I ride him, and Trent, hot and thick inside me. Harder. Faster.
He grasps my hips hard and gives one last upward thrust, so deep that I feel it in my soul, and the fireworks go off in my belly again.
“Ah! Lexie!” he growls, then goes still under me, breathing hard.
I lie on top of him and kiss his shoulder. The salt of his sweat and the spicy scent that’s just Trent fill my senses. I close my eyes and just live in him.
His fingertips trail like feathers over my back, raising goose bumps. “I love you,” he whispers. “Always.”
Two sharp knuckle raps on the door wake me, then Julie’s voice. “Lexie, hon?”
I lift my head blearily as the door hinges creak … and that’s when I realize I’m still draped over Trent.
He jumps at the same instant I do, but it’s too late. I hear Julie’s gasp.
Chapter Twenty-Four
I PULL THE sheets over me and turn to the door, mortified. “We just …” I trail off, knowing there’s no explaining this.
“We were playing Warcraft and fell asleep,” Trent interjects into the deafening silence.
For a second, Julie’s twisted features relax. She obviously wants to believe it because the alternative is just too horrifying. But we’re stark naked. There’s no way she missed that. She got an eyeful before I was awake enough to yank the sheets up.
She stands frozen in the door. Her gaze turns wary, and her fair skin goes three shades whiter as she works out that Trent must be lying. “What’s …” She shakes head, still trying to get her mind around what she’s seeing. “What’s going on?”
Trent’s pecs and biceps ripple as he pulls himself up to a sitting position, keeping the sheet draped over the parts he probably hasn’t shown his mother since he was five. How is it that even now, when we’re so totally and royally screwed, I’m still noticing how hot he is?
He blows out a breath. “I know this is a shock, Mom,” he says in his most soothing voice, “and I’m really sorry. This wasn’t how we’d planned for you to find out. We were going to tell you and Randy tonight at dinner.”
Her wary gaze begins to storm, and her face pulls tight as she regards her son. “Tell us what?” Her voice has gone up a full octave.
Trent’s eyes flick to me, and I realize that he might be a little embarrassed, but he’s not scared or unsure. Just seeing the confidence in that gaze—knowing he believes in us as much as I do—reassures me. “We didn’t plan for this to happen, but just before Lexie left for Rome, something happened between us. Since then, we’ve realized that we love each other.”
Her gaze, somewhere between betrayed and angry, shifts to me. “Lexie?”
I force the cringe off my face. If Trent can be brave, so can I. “It’s true, Julie. We’re in love.” I hold the sheet to cover myself as I wiggle toward the nightstand and pull out the black velvet box, but just then, the garage door opener starts grinding away below us.
Dad.
Julie’s expression has gone through so many emotions in the last two minutes, but now it’s just blank. I think she’s in shock. “That’s your father. Dinner’s ready.” She spins and leaves the room, without closing the door.
“Shit,” I hiss when I hear her feet on the tile of the entryway at the bottom of the stairs.
Trent folds me into his arms. “It’s going to be okay, Lexie. We were just about to tell them anyway. We’re not doing anything wrong.”
I bring my knees up to my chest, wrapping my arms tightly around them, and bury my face, trying to make myself as small as possible. “Daddy’s going to freak.”
Trent pulls the ring box out of my hand and lifts my face. “Is this what you want, Lexie? Do you want me?”
“Hell, yeah. I want you all the time. That’s what got us caught.”
He shakes his head at me. “I mean for real. Do you really want to marry me?”
I look at him with wide eyes, surprised he’d even question that. “Of course. I love you.”
He looks relieved for a second, then opens the box and pulls the ring out, sliding it onto my finger. “Then let’s do this.” He sweeps my wild hair off my face and kisses me, slow and deep, his tongue twisting slowly into mine, and all of a sudden I know where the term “soul kiss” comes from, because that’s where I feel it. My soul aches for him.
He pulls me up, and we get dressed. I straighten myself in the mirror, then we head downstairs.
Julie is banging around in the kitchen, and when I look into the family room, it’s obvious she hasn’t said anything to Dad. He’s in his recliner with his legs up, surfing channels.
“I’ll go get Mom,” Trent says.
I nod, and he gives my hand a squeeze before heading t
o the kitchen. I move slowly toward Dad, and I feel as if I’m moving through molasses—everything in slow motion. “Daddy?” I ask, standing at the side of his chair.
He reaches up and gives my hand a tug, smiling up at me with his warm smile. “Hey, kiddo. How was your day?”
How can I do this? He’s going to be so disappointed in us. In me.
I back away a step, feeling the urge to run, but then Trent comes into the room with Julie, who still looks like she’s in shock. He leads her to her recliner next to Dad’s and almost physically sits her in it. He ushers me to the couch, where we sit side by side.
I feel like I’m going to pass out. There’s a funny ringing in my ears, and I feel cold all over. I can’t look at them. But then Trent takes my hand, twisting his fingers into mine, and at least that part of me feels warm again.
The silence has physical weight. It crushes me as I sit, chewing my cheek.
“What’s happened?” Dad’s voice is edged with alarm, and that forces my eyes to him.
“Nothing bad, Daddy …” I glance at Trent for strength. “But Trent and I have something we need to talk to you and Julie about.” I dare a glance at Julie, but she’s looking straight ahead at some random point on the wall, her jaw tight. Trent squeezes my hand, and I take a deep breath.
Do it fast, like ripping off a Band-Aid.
“Trent and I are in love, and we’re getting married.” It comes out in a tumble of words that I say, but don’t really hear because blood is pounding through my ears, and my mind is a blur of spinning images: Dad throwing Trent and me out, never speaking to me again, yelling, slamming, throwing. It’s not like Dad’s ever been violent, but the thought of him angry is too much to bear. Before Trent and Julie, it was just us. Dad and me. We’ve always been together. What if he can’t stand the sight of me?
But Julie’s gasp catches me and yanks me back to the here and now. “Married?”
A Little Too Far Page 24
