It's the middle of the day and I am lying face down on one of the sitting room couches, undressed and unwashed. I can't focus enough to read, and games hold no pleasure, so I have spent my entire day lying on this couch in my nightgown.
"Wow Kat, I should have come to see you sooner," Laura says.
"Hi, Laura, please have a seat." I say, still face down, my words muffled by the couch cushion.
"When was the last time you had a bath?"
"I am not sure. Before the funeral?"
"That was two weeks ago."
Two weeks? I have been rotting in this suite for two weeks?
"Why are you here?" I ask, sitting up.
"I wanted to tell you that Grayson is back. I figured you would be in a bad place and wanted to give you some warning. I had no idea you would be this bad. You smell Kat, and your hair . . . oh, Kat, your hair! Your ladies should be flogged for letting you fall into such a state."
"It's not their fault. I haven't had much desire to do anything these days."
"It's not their job to care how you feel. It's their job to take care of you."
"Where has Grayson been?" I ask, changing the subject.
"I don't know; I haven't talked to him. I saw him ride up this morning but I haven't seen him since."
"He won't come here," I say defeated. "He knows as well as I do that I am the reason for Travis' death."
"He'll come. My brother grieves hard but he loves just as hard. He has never been able to blame anyone but himself for his troubles. He will be here."
"How do you do it Laura? How do you face all of your pain without it eating you up inside?"
"I know the truth."
"Which is?"
"Death isn't real Kat, it doesn't exist. The past and future aren't real either. The only reality is this very moment. Every second that passes jumps from consciousness to memory, and what are memories but dreams?"
"You've lost me."
Laura sighs, "One man can say he remembers something one way, while another man remembers it completely different. Yet, they can both be right. The past isn't tangible, Kat. It isn't real. It is as speculative as the future, and twice as painful. I don't believe in the past. My mother is gone and Travis is gone. Someday I will also be gone and will only exist when remembered. I will no longer be real and I am okay with that."
"So you can deal with loss because you tell yourself it doesn't matter, that it isn't real?"
"Exactly. Why grieve over something that never was? Now, Grayson lives in the past. He is consumed by it. It eats him up until he can't see the reality of life in front of him. The present slips by him, and he is again left with only the past. He deserves to live his life in the moment, Kat, and so do you."
"You say that like it's easy."
"Well, it will be with time, but before you start to heal, I am afraid there is one more thing you are going to have to get through. My brother has returned for a reason. He is here because you are going to need him, and he knows it."
"What's going on?"
"They are going to execute the outsider."
"I knew it was bound to happen," I say sadly. "I guess I was just hoping for a miracle."
"Weren't we all . . ."
Laura personally sees to transforming me back into a human being, but not before she puts my maids through the wringer for not taking better care of me. Against my protests, I am forced to eat, bathe, and dress. When they finally set me free, I spend the next hour much like I have the past two weeks, staring at the pretty wallpaper in front of me, wondering if I will ever be the girl it was picked out for.
Grayson doesn't say anything when he comes in, just walks over and puts his arms around me. Taking my hand, he gives me a questioning look. I nod. I'm not ready but I never will be. I take my doubts, my fear, and my grief and I bury them deep down, building my walls just as thick as the ones around the city.
Leaving the suite, we head to the end of the long hallway, pulling open the glass double doors and stepping out onto a balcony facing the courtyard. A platform has been setup in the center of the lawn, marring the beauty of the garden, and disrupting the sanctity of Travis' grave. A crowd of people has gathered in the grass around the platform, and all the balconies facing the courtyard are full. The General and his mother are in the balcony next to ours. He nods in our direction when he sees us, quickly turning back to supervise.
The crowd is silent as they bring Jack out, excited and fearful of the power they wield. They have never demanded anything of their General before, and never dreamed he would listen. Jack stands strong and solid as they slip the noose around his neck. The rope clings tightly to his skin and even from here I can see his strong muscles straining against it. He is stoic in his reserve, not pleading or begging for his life. He is resigned to the fate dealt to him, and he faces it bravely.
"He didn't do it," I say softly. "I know he didn't. What is the point of having all-powerful scanners if you don't use them? If he was scanned, he wouldn't be here."
"Your loyalty to him is a little distressing," Grayson frowns at me. "And they did scan him. I haven't seen the results, but I know my father would never harm an innocent man."
I look wide-eyed at Jack, trying to see his guilt, but all I see is a proud, angry young man trying to find the courage to face his death with honor. How can I sit here and watch, doing nothing while a man who I believe is innocent, is killed? What would happen if I spoke out? Would they put me up there with him? Why can't I be as brave as he is?
Jack glares at each and every person in the audience, daring them to look back at him, to see what they are making happen. They may not be the ones to kill him, but sure as anything, this is their murder. They were the ones who demanded blood and retribution. The people of Veracity can dress it up all they like, but the fact won't change that his blood is on their hands. And mine. I have so much blood on my hands; I don't think they will ever wash clean.
On the scaffold, Jack is a dark flame, burning and hypnotizing the crowd with the heat of his distain. Even the General is enthralled by it, delaying the final nod to the executioner that would end him. I watch his eyes as they move through the crowd, knowing that in moments, they would reach mine. What would he think seeing me up here? Will he hate me for standing with the people he tried to save me from? Will he loathe me for doing nothing to help him? Part of me rebels against my loyalty to him. Why do I even care? He helped to make me a shell of who I am. He helped to set in motion the countless deaths and pain that wrap around me like decaying hands. Why should I worry how he will feel, how I will feel, when his eyes meet mine?
He turns in my direction, his gaze slowly inching toward me. My heart races with panic. My breath starts to leave me in short painful gasps, ripping out of my lungs with a force I can't control. My eyes burn with tears born of guilt and angst. Grayson tightens his hand around mine, trying to lend me support, but all it does is make things worse. I am a traitor in my own life. I claim to love my new family, yet I turn against them in my heart. I fear for this "rebel", yet my loyalty isn't strong enough to deny my family. I am two people trapped in the same body, and neither one has a clue what to do.
His eyes move over my face and there it is: pure rage, but then, something else. Surprise, confusion, and finally relief flash in his eyes. Jack takes that one, long look at my face and his body slumps, straining even harder against the rope. His anger is gone, his pride lost, and he sobs. He was strong but now, thanks to me, he is broken.
"They told me you were dead." Jack calls out to me. "The General said he tried you for treason, and like a fool I believed him. I thought I had nothing left, nothing to fight for. I am sorry I wiped your memory and put you back in their hands. It was a mistake to think it was the best thing for you."
"As for everything else," he calls, speaking loudly to the crowd as well as me. "It was your brother Lucas and the General's own mother who did it all. They killed the General's wife because she opposed your marriage into this family
." The crowd erupts into chaos. The General looks over at his mother in shocked disbelief.
"Mother!" The General finally roars, "Is this true? Did you kill Sophia? Did you murder my wife? Over politics?"
"I did what I felt was best for the city," she crows. "A marriage with any city other than Axiom would have been the death of us all. Lucas said they would attack immediately!"
"But her father was my friend," he cries. "As long as he was alive he would have never allowed an attack!"
"Exactly!" she cries, "The boy had already set up the death of his parents. He wanted to rule, but his father saw through to his madness and refused to let him inherit. The only reason he wiped the girl's memory and hid her away was because she saw and heard things she shouldn't have when they were murdering her parents!"
"Why would he come to you with all of this? Why didn't the boy talk to me?"
"Because he knew you didn't have the guts to do what had to be done. You are weak. Love made you weak. You let that woman run all over you, and why? Because she had a pretty face and bore you children?"
The General's eyes widen to an extraordinary size, his brain finally clicking, and the full understanding of his wife's death hitting him like an avalanche. The crowd is chaotic. They push and shove against each other to get a better view of the balcony.
"All this time I thought she gave up on me, or that I had failed her in some way, but it was you." he says coldly. "You stole her from me. You and that damned boy. You traded my Sophia's life to secure the marriage of that useless girl?"
In one fluid motion he draws his gun and fires. The close range shot throws his mother against the wall, a dark stain blooming against the green of her gown. For a moment, the world stops turning. Everyone, including the General is frozen in place, too shocked to move. The spell breaks when Marilyn slumps to the ground, grabbing her chest. When an eerie wail of pain begins to echo through the courtyard, the crowd breaks, screaming in panic. They trample each other in their attempt to flee back to the safety of their homes.
The General turns to me, his madness clearly the only thing in control. He lifts his arm to shoulder level, aiming for our balcony. Gone is the supportive father figure and in his place is the personification of hate. We make eye contact, and he sneers at me as he steadies his arm to fire. A heartbeat later, his hand explodes in a meaty, bloody mess. He howls as he grips his mangled hand. My eyes find Grayson. He gun is still raised, the smoke from the barrel drifting in the wind. He looks from it to me, every bit as shocked as I am. Before I can even think, to even begin to process what has happened, he is grabbing my hand and we are running.
I can still hear the General's howl as we run back down the hallway to my suite. Grayson takes off down the hallway to lock the doors of his father's balcony, trapping him momentarily, before dragging me into my room. The entire city is chaos, and I know it will only be a matter of time before the soldiers make their way through the crowd. Will it be us they come after, or the General?
Grayson throws open the door to my suite, and tells me to change my shoes and gown. I am going to need to be able to run. Jack bursts through my balcony door a second later, and Grayson instinctively raises the gun in his direction. The two face off for a moment, Jack's hands held up in a sign of surrender. Grayson frowns but lowers the gun, and they stand together by the doors to my bedroom while I look for the shortest dress and flattest shoes I own.
It takes me all of five minutes to dress, but it was five minutes too long. The General is waiting in the sitting room when we walk out, his eyes glazed and his hand pumping blood onto the floor. Without thinking, I grab Grayson's gun, holding it level to the General's face.
"Let us past and I won't shoot you."
"I will never stop hunting you," he says. "I will find you and I will make you pay for murdering my wife and son."
He brings his gun up with his good hand, fumbling a bit with the unfamiliarity of using it, and I shoot him. Without thinking, I pull the trigger and put a bullet into the body of another human being. Grayson grabs his gun from my hand and we run. We take the stairs two at a time and sprint toward the front door. I hear my name being called behind me, and turn to find Sadie chasing us. I reach out and grab her by the arm, dragging her along with us. I wish I could find Maggie, but there is just no time.
I just shot the General.
26 – Running
Distant screams fade into a blissful silence as we push our way through tall rows of corn. The cawing of blackbirds and the crisp rustling of stalks fill the air instead, punctuated by the desperate sounds of labored breathing. Feet pounding against the earth, we stir up a choking cloud of dust; it wraps around me, clogging my airway with dirt and debris. Lungs burning and legs cramping, I struggle against the shackles of exhaustion, the memory of the General's crazed expression pushing me on.
Grayson and Jack run ahead of Sadie and I, unified in their determination to get us somewhere safe. Through a haze of sweat and tears, I watch them, my heart pulled in two directions at the sight. What a complicated story we weave . . . murder, deception, love, and loyalty. Not to mention, pride, anger, and pain, so much pain. We feel the loss of the ones we love with every step, just as surely as we feel the wind on our face or the fear in our hearts. No one speaks, but one question weighs on us, so heavy we could fall into surrender from its implications. I feel it in the way Sadie clings to my hand as we run, and see it in Grayson's dark expression when he looks back at me. What happens now?
Bursting through the last row of the tall stalks, we take only a few steps in open air before plunging into the next field. Jack leads us on without hesitation, and we blindly follow, trusting this outsider who obviously knows our city far better than we do. His pace never slacks, the walls of corn, wheat, and hemp flying by as we run. Sadie falters, and I cry out to Grayson, who scoops her up in his arms, cradling her tired body against him as he runs.
Jack takes a sharp right, and my heart jumps in my throat as we step out of the field and into the front yard of Sadie's family farm. Why would Jack run here? He bursts through the door without knocking, pulling us in after him before slamming the door shut. Without a word, he collapses on the old, threadbare sofa, breathing hard with his head in his hands. Grayson gently lowers Sadie into a chair near the barren fireplace, and I slump to the floor next to her. For a heartbeat we just stare at each other, panting like a pack of wild dogs.
"What do we do now?" I ask.
"I go back, and you hide," Grayson says grimly.
"You want to go back there, alone, while I run and hide? I don't think so."
"This isn't up for debate. I need to return as quickly as possible. My father has committed an unforgivable crime, and has to be dealt with. The city will look to me to put things right, and I can't have them thinking I ran away."
"That still doesn't explain why I have to go into hiding."
"I don't know where my father is, or what his plans are. He could be dead, in custody, or still roaming armed through the city. Not to mention there could be others in the city blaming you for my mother's death. That crowd was out of control. You are going nowhere near the Big House until order is restored."
"I understand that it is dangerous, but you don't have the right to make that decision for me."
"Thanks to my father's mental breakdown, I am the new General, and I have every right to make that decision for you. This is not an open discussion. I go back alone."
"Not completely alone," Sadie pipes up. "I have to go with you."
"You can't go back there!" I cry.
"I have to," she says. "If I stay gone too long, I will be counted as a deserter. You can look at me like I'm crazy all you want, but it is safer for me there. The only reason I left in the first place was to make sure you were safe. Don't worry, the only thing I fear right now is whether anyone scans me to find you."
"I can make sure that no one scans you," Grayson says, "and I would appreciate your help with the staff. We need to get them o
rganized and productive as soon as possible. Jack, do you think you can get Kat somewhere safe for a few days? I need her hidden away from my father and anyone who might support his idea that she is at fault."
"I can take her through the train tunnel out to the elder camp. It's the perfect place to hide."
"What train tunnel?" Grayson asks.
"The train tunnel under the Big House."
"You must be confused. I have lived in the Big House my entire life," Grayson says. "If there was a train under my home, I would know."
"There is an endless list of things you don't know," Jack laughs.
"Enlighten me," Grayson says menacingly.
"Calm down General, someday we will have that long talk, but today is not that day. As much as I hate to agree with you, heading back as soon as possible is the best plan; the longer you are gone, the harder it will be for you to get the city under your control. Kat and I can't get to tunnels through the Big House until you do, so we will have to take an alternate route."
"Which is?"
"I would be a fool to tell you that," Jack smirks. "You're the General now, and who knows what kind of leader you are going to be. When things settle down, I will show you how to get to the tunnel from inside the Big House, but my way stays secret for just a little while longer."
"What makes you think the elder camp is going to be safe?" I ask, changing the subject.
"No one visits the elder camp. Even the guards assigned to it only check in once or twice a year. When someone new is brought in, the soldiers just dump him or her at the gate. Those old folks have to hike about a mile to find the camp."
"So when do we go?" I ask.
"We go now before Sadie's family gets back."
"That's a wonderful idea," Sadie says, eyeing Jack. "The sooner we get out of this house the better."
"Wait," I say confused. "How do you know this is Sadie's family farm?"
"A story for another time, love."
Veracity (The Seven Cities Book 1) Page 21
