"Of course not," I say, chastised, "but you should have talked to me. We could have come up with a solution together. None of this is how I expected our lives to go, but dammit Kat, I am still in charge and there are rules that need to be followed. I barely have a grasp on this city, and if they think for one moment that I can't handle the responsibility of being General . . ."
"So tell them it was your idea," she smirks. "Tell them you trust Jack for exposing your grandmother and Lucas. Tell them that he was the only logical choice for the future General of Axiom. He comes from a high-ranking family and has a good head on his shoulders. The people will love him."
"This isn't a game Kat. You can't just push me around like a chess piece. I'm not . . ."
"Me?" she interrupts. "Because that is exactly what I am, what all women are. I didn't make this decision despite you, Grayson. I understand what has happened between us, and I am not bitter. This isn't some jealous ploy to make you suffer. This is about me, about my life and what I want from it. Jack is a good man, and like it or not, I'm his."
She crosses her arms and just sits, waiting for me to speak, infinitely patient in her resolve. What do I do here? As a General I should punish them both without mercy, make an example of the two of them; show my might and my commitment to the law to my people. As a man who loves her, stubborn insubordination and all, I can't bring myself to hurt her more than I already have. In a small way, I am glad that she has taken this burden off of me. I was not looking forward to condemning her to a life with a stranger. The thought of her being a wife to another man has kept me up at night. At least I know Jack loves her, and will take care of her.
"I am not going to sit here and pretend that this doesn't hurt me," I say, "that I don't see this as a betrayal, but what's done is done. I can't change what has happened any more than I could scrub that mark off of you. So I guess the question is what do I do now?"
"Draft a letter to my brother," she smiles. "Explain to him what has happened. I don't know what you had planned for him, but I do know that the other Generals will never condone war against one of their own. Whatever we do to get Lucas out of power has to be subtle, and on our turf. What better way to get him in Veracity than telling him his baby sister has broken the law?"
"He would be here in a heartbeat," I say thoughtfully. "He would come running to save you, or kill you himself, and I would have the opportunity to dispatch him in private."
"I won't have him killed Grayson."
"Don't push me Kat. You have taken liberties I could crush you for; don't test how far you can go before I have to make a move against you. I still love you, and I don't want to see you mistreated, but I will do what I have to. His fate is in my hands. I will see his life ended."
"What if you could take his life without actually hurting him?" she asks.
"Meaning what?"
"Drug him," she says as she stands up, the scrapping of the chair against the floor sounding harsh and ominous. "Take his memories."
She places a hand on my shoulder before she leaves, and I pretend it is an apology instead of a show of her compassion. When did I become the one to pity? Its hard to believe those tiny hands had the strength to weave such a complicated web of revenge and defiance. With a stroke of ink she went from mild and well mannered to dominating and demanding, and I am not a fan. She has backed me into a corner and I do not enjoy being trapped. First she stripped me of the most basic right to choose her husband, and now she is attempting to steal my revenge. Not that there isn't a romantic irony to wiping his memories, and the thought of him spending his life locked up in a tower, oblivious and useless is also appealing in its own way . . . Damn that girl! My mind wasn't so easily changed once. She has moved from my heart to my head, and I greatly dislike the way it feels. What is happening to me?
36 – Dreamers
I walk into my suite and find Jack stretched across the bed, his boyish, crooked grin splashed across his face. He is devilishly handsome in the low light and my heart does a little flop at the sight of him. Feeling my cheeks begin to burn, I walk toward the bed, hoping that getting further from the candles will hide my bashful glow. I sit down beside him on the mattress, and am suddenly so shy I can barely look at him.
"So that's where the term blushing bride comes from," Jack chuckles.
"Stop it," I laugh, tossing a pillow at him. "Of course I'm blushing! Would you rather I be some daring woman of experience, cool and collected even though there is a man in my bed?"
"Not in a thousand years, sweetheart. I want you exactly as you are, red cheeks and all," he says with a wink. "How did it go with Grayson?"
"He was furious at first, scary furious. You wouldn't believe the way the veins on his forehead were bulging. He started to calm down pretty quick though, and by the end I think he might have been leaning towards agreeing with me."
"I should have gone with you."
"That would have made things worse, and you know it," I say, curling up beside him.
"What did he say about us?"
"Nothing really," I say. "He didn't like it, but I honestly think he was more upset that we did it without his consent than anything. Don't get me wrong, it hurt him, but right now he is being torn between being the Grayson we know, and the Grayson he thinks he needs to be."
"Do you think he will go along with the plan to drug Lucas?" Jack asks while pulling the many pins from my hair.
"Maybe, I could tell he liked the idea, in an ironic revenge sort of way. If he does agree, where are we going to get the pill? I thought they were hard to come by."
"We have to go see the Hoarder."
"Who's the Hoarder?"
"Someone we can talk about tomorrow. Right now all I want to do is spend a quiet night with my wife," he says kissing my neck. "How does a hot bath and dinner in bed sound?"
"It sounds like you are trying to distract me," I laugh.
"And what's wrong with that? It's not going to hurt anything for us to just relax for a night. We have a journey ahead of us, my love, and it isn't going to be an easy one."
"You make it sound so dramatic," I say, wrapping his arms tighter around me.
"We are taking out a General, there isn't anything more dramatic than that. Just getting to the Hoarder is going to be a challenge, and after that we have figure out how to get Lucas drugged with out anyone finding out about it. Then the hard part starts. Taking control of a city is no small thing. This, of course, all depends on whether or not Grayson agrees with our plan. If he doesn't, there will be war."
"Jack, what do you think will happen to us?"
"You've asked me that before," he says softly, "I can't say for sure what is going to happen, but I have a feeling we will be in Axiom soon, safe and starting our lives together."
"Do you really think so?"
"A man can dream."
"I know all about dreams," I smile. "Dreams are what led me back to you."
"A wise woman once told me that all good things start with a dream."
"Alright," I say, giving him a quick kiss. "I'm convinced. Let's lock the doors and pretend we are the only people who matter. I need to speak with Maggie first about our dinner, but then we will have the suite to ourselves. Do you mind waiting for a moment while I go see her?"
"I've waited for you my entire life, Katherine, I can handle a few more minutes," he laughs.
After speaking with Maggie, Jack and I spend the rest of the night helping each other forget. With each passing hour, we move farther away from the reality of what comes at dawn. Tomorrow we will put into motion things that cannot be stopped, things that will change the world, but tonight, I am just a girl lying next to the boy who loves her. Tonight marks the midpoint of a journey hard traveled, and long fought, but it also promises new beginnings and hope for the future.
What is coming will be difficult and dangerous, but with Jack by my side I am strong enough to endure it. He truly is my other half; the piece of myself I never knew I was missing. Lying nex
t to him, my head on his chest, I listen to his heartbeat as he falls asleep, finally finding the place where I belong. Before I drift off I think of all that we have been through, the people we have lost, and the pain we have suffered. Despite the hard road, we have ended where we began, two people clinging to hope, with little more than a dream between them.
Once again, I dream of Jack. We are in a clearing. It is a beautiful place surrounded by tall pines and fragrant mounds of wisteria. A blanket of wild blackberries covers the ground, and a lonely white house sits in shambles, high on a nearby hill. Jack sets up the tent and we crawl inside as the sun begins to set.
"Jack . . . What's going to happen to us?"
"Well, after we rest for a minute, I am going to go pack up some berries for tomorrow. Do you want the rest of this water?" he asks, handing me a mostly empty bottle.
"You know what I mean," I say, playfully shoving his shoulder. "What do you think will happen to us in the future? Where are we going to be in a year, or even in a week? You can't tell me you haven't thought about it."
Jack just shrugs as I drain the bottle. Putting the cap back on, I slide it back into my suitcase.
"Of course I've thought about it," he says finally, taking my hand. "I want to say that we will be somewhere safe, starting our lives together, but that may just be a dream."
"A dream isn't a bad thing," I say. "All good things start as a dream. You begin by wishing for something, imagining it so hard you can almost touch it, and then one day it's real and you've forgotten it was ever anything else."
"You make it sound so easy," he smiles sadly. "What happens if you spend all that time dreaming, then wake up and realize you've missed your chance or made the wrong choice?"
"Is that why you have been so down?" I ask. "Jack, you can leave me. I wouldn't blame you for a second. Forget dreaming and go after what it is you want. You could have a real life. You could find love with someone you are actually allowed to care for."
"I would rather dream of you than have a real life with anyone else. Besides, who could ever compare to my Kat? You are kind, compassionate, and the single most interesting person I have ever met. Being with you gives me hope that this world can change, that maybe we are not all destined to suffer through someone else's idea of who we should be. I know things are hard right now, but you have my heart and my future, and that is never going to change."
"I like the way you see me," I say yawning, stretching out on the air mattress.
"And how is that?" he asks, lying next to me, draping one arm across my waist.
"Better than I am, or than I was . . . I'm . . . not sure . . . Jack, I feel so strange. My head is fuzzy, and I feel like something is pulling me away. What's wrong with me?"
"It's okay sweetheart," he whispers. "Just close your eyes and everything will be okay. I'm so sorry; I just love you so much and this was the only way."
"Jack, I can't . . . what is happening? Why are you crying? I'm just so tired . . . why am I so tired?"
"Shhh, I'm right here, Kat. You don't have to be afraid; I'm going to keep you safe. I will always keep you safe.”
Veracity (The Seven Cities Book 1) Page 27
