"Thomas has told me everything. I had no idea that we were distant relations, and that Ferncliffe was trying to claim Ashton Manor for himself. I had no idea he even knew Jane."
She nodded. "He said he was the baby's father. Jane knew him. She said she would rather die than be touched by him again. Taken by him was what she said." She blushed.
Jonathan shuddered, and squeezed her hand. "We'll probably never know the whole truth now. In a sense it doesn't really matter. Nothing can ever be proven one way or the other. Besides, I doubt it's true. Ferncliffe would say anything to get more money out of Thomas. He was an earl without a penny.
"In fact, I'm sure we'll find that he has quite a few debts run up on the strength of his marriage to you. He was desperate, and came up with any number of plans to get funds, including disinheriting Bertie, blackmailing Thomas, and marrying you for money. All of them came apart thanks to you. You believed in me, when few other people ever would have." His eyes glowed with love and pride, tinged with surprise at the depth of her faith in him.
She put her fingers on his lips to silence him. "I never promised him, you know, not by word or deed, or in my heart. I thought I had lost you, that you didn't love me. I said nothing against him to keep my aunt quiet, but I never would have married anyone but y--"
"You never lost me, darling," he soothed, brushing back the fair hair from her brow tenderly. "I can see I'm going to have to spend a lot more time giving you instruction and correction on the error of your ways."
"Yes, please," she whispered, lifting her lips to his.
He kissed her until she was breathless, his mouth warm and oh so alluring.
When he eventually lifted her head, she asked, "So what shall we do now, do you think?"
"Well, Ferncliffe will be tried for a whole list of charges, and will most likely get a capital sentence for the death of Jane. There are still a lot of unanswered questions about how he inherited, what he was up to, and who was helping him with his plot. He couldn't have done it alone, after all. He was with you on the road to London, for one thing, when I would have been spotted in the little country village moving Jane and Sophie from the place where we had hidden them.
"And he had to have had help to get the family tree researched, and your father's will overturned. We need to find the real Ferncliffe heirs as well. The last I knew of them was during the war, but there were three brothers, one of them a good friend. He's only the youngest, but I can't think all three of them could have perished during the war. Not unless they met with foul play."
"Oh, Jonathan, do you think the man I knew as the Earl was really as bad as that?"
Jonathan nodded. "Aye. I hope I'm wrong, but yes. We need to find our missing Rakehell friends and get to the bottom of the false earl's crimes. It won't be easy but we'll do our best to find the truth."
"I hope so. I'm not so sure any of us will be safe until we do," she said with a shudder.
Jonathan kissed her on the brow and put one arm around her waist protectively. "It will be fine. We have each other now. Thomas and his wife Charlotte will tend to Sophie. Your family will continue to remain at Ashton Manor as long as I have any say in the matter.
"And you, my dear, will marry me, as soon as you can. And I'm sure you can guess who's going to insist on being best man."
She looked into his steel-gray eyes, and wondered how she had ever found them cold and forbidding. She said teasingly as she stroked his face, "That wasn't the most romantic proposal a girl could ever have. But all I can say is, I think you shall have to have two best men. Clifford has been a good friend to both of us as well. And I'll have to have two matrons of honor, and two bridesmaids, if Elizabeth and Sarah will agree. I know it will be unusual, but it's what I want."
He took her hand in both of his own. "There's nothing wrong with an unusual wedding, for you're no ordinary woman, Pamela Ashton, soon to be Deveril. You never gave up on me, even when I hurt you terribly. You believed in me when any other sensible woman would have turned her back and fled. You risked your life to save a child you didn't even know. There's nothing I can possibly ever do to make it up to you, but as your husband I'm going to spend every day for the rest of my life trying."
She smiled. "You don't even have to try to make me happy. I love you, Jonathan. It's enough."
He kissed her again until she tingled from head to toe.
"Gadzookers, I've lost my peruke."
Pamela burst out laughing. "Your favorite play, The Rehearsal. But I'm glad you don't wear a stuffy old wig. So you have nothing to lose except your heart."
"I already have. To you."
She stroked his cheek lovingly. "And I lost mine a long time ago, though I was too silly to realize it for ages."
"So long as you're sure now."
She nodded. "I am."
He smiled with such joy, she was sure she had never seen him look more handsome. "I'm glad. Oh, and there is one other wonderful thing that the Duke of Buckingham said."
"What's that, Jonathan?"
"'For all true love is grounded on esteem.'"
Pamela grinned back at him, she stroked his sensual lower lip tenderly with one forefinger. "Then I truly esteem you."
"As do I you."
He kissed her again. "This is just the beginning, my dearest Pamela. There will be a lifetime more. And for me, it will never be enough."
She sighed, and tugged hard on his lapels, overbalancing Jonathan and yanking him into the bed beside her. "Nor for me. I want you now. This Society Miss has most certainly met her match, my darling. I don't want to be without you a moment longer."
"Then you shan't be, now or in the future. I'm all yours, my dearest love," he vowed, glad he had had the foresight to lock the door behind him as she began to strip his clothes off with trembling hands.
Her cheeks flamed, but she did not hesitate.
"There's only one problem. Who on earth is going to marry us? You can't preside at your own wedding."
"I know no one can ever do so fabulous a job as my good self," he said with a wink, "but I dare say Mr. Grayson from over Barton way won't mind.
"I have the special license all ready right here," he revealed, patting the pocket of his jacket happily before stripping the garment off and tossing it onto the floor.
Her eyes widened. "You really love me? Want to marry me in spite of everything?"
"Of course. What did I just tell you, foolish love? I tried to hold back, but I just couldn't help myself. I knew I couldn't live without you a moment longer. You were a terrible temptation almost from the first. I wanted to keep my faith with Jane. But she never kept it with me. And you were also such a treasure in my life, a gift from God."
"Oh, darling."
He kissed her hard on the lips for a fleeting moment. "Not seeing you after Bath, well, it was like cutting off my right arm. I held back for as long as I could, but it was no use. I came up to London expressly to tell you my true feelings. To see if you could forgive me.
"I didn't even stop at a hotel or Thomas's townhouse, I was so wild to see you," he admitted. "I went to the Eastons' to propose to you, but of course you weren't there. Aunt Susan laid into me in no uncertain terms. Wolf in sheep's clothing, knave, varlet, you can imagine the sort of thing."
"Oh, no," she said, mortified.
"It's all right," Jonathan reassured her, continuing to help her divest him of his clothes with alacrity. "I don't blame her for being suspicious, not after all the lies that had been told about me. I followed you on to Thomas's and from there to the sanitarium here."
"You really love me," she whispered, unable to believe her ears.
He paused at the waistband of his trousers, not wishing to shock her unduly. "I can't believe how close I came to losing you. I don't want to wait another minute to make you mine. So we can marry here in London, and have a proper ceremony back home in Somerset for all our friends and family at the end of the month. I shall have to find a diligent curate in the meantime. I plan on
having a very long honeymoon, my love. That is if you'll say yes."
She beamed up at him, all her love shining in her eyes. "Yes. Of course. Thank you, my love. I feel so honored. I can't believe my good fortune."
"I'm the lucky one. You're a dream come true, my dearest love."
Pamela reached out to stroke his now bare chest until he drew her closer. His hands traced the curves of her breasts, but when he looped his arm around her she cringed.
He frowned. "I'm sorry. I'm going too fast for you," Jonathan said regretfully when he saw her pained response.
"No, my shoulder twinged, that's all. I'm fine, really. But before we go any further I need to perform my morning toilette, and you need to get out of the rest of those clothes."
Jonathan looked rather sheepish as she stared at the fork of his trouser, but nodded. "I just put some hot water behind the screen. Take your time. There's no hurry. And let me know if, well, you need help. With your shoulder and everything."
"Why Jonathan Deveril, I do believe you're blushing." She gave him a long, sensual kiss on the mouth and rose from the bed to head for the corner.
"I just want to make sure you aren't doing this because you think I expect it. And I'm worried that I might have upset you."
"Not at all," Pamela sought to reassure him when she heard the disappointment in his voice. "It was just so surprising. So exciting. Let me just perform a few necessary ablutions and I'll be right back. I want our first time to be perfect."
Chapter Thirty-three
"But with your shoulder-- Maybe we should wait," Jonathan protested.
She laughed ruefully and shook her head. "I've waited long enough. You have too."
She tended to her most urgent needs behind the screen, then poured out some hot water into the basin. She added some cold and hiked the nightrail straight over her head with her good right arm.
"No wonder so many people say sexual pleasure is a sin. I've longed for you so much, Jonathan, more than I ever imagined possible. I admit now I've felt at times as though I would be willing to trade my soul for just one night in your arms," she admitted as she performed her brief toilette.
"I know how you feel," he confessed. "I'm no saint, love. It's been torture. I wasn't a rake, but nor was I a virgin. I should have kept to good Christian principles in that regard, but I failed."
"What, since you were ordained?" she asked with a frown as she lathered herself all over with the lilac soap.
"No, not that," he said with a shake of his head, casting his breeches onto the floor. "No, I took that vow and I meant it.
"No, I was referring to the fact that I wasn't as pure as I should have been before, at college, and during the war. Not pure enough to wait for Jane to grow up anyway, though of course there was no question of us being engaged at that point."
"I can understand that now," she said, rinsing herself off quickly with the washcloth. "I was never sure what the powerful surgings were all about until you touched me, sat with your leg pressed to mine. I burned for you, my love. I can see how passion could make even the most respectable of women behave so impetuously.
"But even more powerful than the desire of my body was that of my mind. I hungered for your company night and day. Hungered for the sound of your voice, the sight of your face, every moment we were apart. But now I'm going to have you by my side always."
She gave a happy giggle, and began to dry herself all over with quick swipes of a large thick towel.
She wrapped it around herself, and took a deep steadying breath before stepping out from behind the screen.
"It is powerful, sexual desire, but I love you, heart and soul, not just body. I swear to you, Pamela, I shall never give you any reason to doubt my love and fidelity." He opened his arms to her then, aching for her to come to him of her own free will.
She came over to the bed where he lay bare under the thin sheet and kissed the back of one broad hand. "I never will. If what you felt as a younger man is anything like I feel now when I look at you, I can understand it. Except that mine is all for you, one man alone. Never Breedon or Ferncliffe or anyone else, I swear."
He caressed her cheekbone with the backs of his curled fingers. "I know, love. You're all mine. I can't believe my luck. Loving Jane, and her family, has been a great blessing, despite all the pain. But loving you is the greatest joy I could have ever asked for."
She climbed into the bed beside him and looked at him earnestly. "Even when you were going to do the brave thing and renounce me?"
Jonathan sighed, and bent his head to kiss her throat lingeringly, trying to go slowly, the bandage on her shoulder a reminder of her delicate state.
"I tell you honestly, darling girl, some days I wasn't sure I could go on without you. Only my faith kept me from doing something rash. My faith and conviction that the Lord was testing me. That if I clung to my faith, His plan would be revealed."
"And what plan was that, do you think?" she asked softly, venturing to touch one bare shoulder.
He looked up at her then, his eyes blazing fiercely. "To never ever take love for granted. To grab onto it with both hands and hold it hard, come what may. And never miss the chance to tell the people you care about how much you love them. I love you, Mrs. Deveril."
"And I you, Mr. Deveril. Or should I say the Earl of Ferncliffe?"
He shook his head. "Nay, I don't want it. Even if the worst has happened, and my friend and both his brothers are really dead, I don't want the earldom. I've never wished for a title. And never will. Perhaps for our son one day, though?"
"I can't think of anything finer than being just a Deveril."
"Superb. The more the merrier."
His mouth swooped down over hers as he kissed her deeply, until her lips parted and their tongues mingled. Pamela clung to his shoulders for support as the butterfly sensations in the pit of her stomach began to make her whole body flutter.
His lips slanted across hers, giving him fuller access to her mouth, while his hands undid the wrapped towel and slid down over the silkiness of her skin until he cupped her buttocks with both hands and pressed her hard against his maleness underneath the sheet.
Pamela's eyes flew wide, but she could feel herself burning with an inner fire which brooked no denial.
"Jonathan!" Pamela gasped against his questing mouth.
He pulled away to showered her face and throat with tender kisses. "I'm sorry, Pamela, if I shocked you. I can't help it, and I won't lie to you. I yearn for you so badly, I feel like I'm going to explode," Jonathan confessed, as his fingers ran through her blond locks lovingly, his cheek nuzzling hers.
"Then love me, now, Jonathan, please?" Pamela asked, despite her naturally virginal fears.
Jonathan paused for a moment, and then looked down into her blue eyes to see if she were completely sincere. The last thing he wanted was Pamela to offer herself up to him without being absolutely sure.
But the light that shone within her blue orbs mirrored his desire and longing too. Jonathan sighed in relief. But he wanted to hear her tell him of her need with her own lips, so that there would be no regrets on the morrow.
"You can still change your mind, Pamela, my love. I'll understand. We don't have to plunge straight in now, despite our dishabille. If you're really desirous we can lightly explore each other without taking the final step. We can wait for that until our proper wedding night," Jonathan whispered, running his thumb along the curve of her lower lip, now swollen with his kisses.
"We're married already in our hearts. I don't need the ceremony, and I'm sure God will understand the tiny lapse. I can't wait," Pamela panted, as she caressed his face. "I need to know what I've been missing all these months we've denied ourselves, when all the while my desire for you has sung in my veins."
Overjoyed, Jonathan moved the sheet to one side to hold her even more intimately. She pressed against him ardently, matching her flesh to his.
"Pamela, I would be gentle and patient with you," Jonathan groaned a
s she kissed him back with a passionate abandon he had only dared suspect might lurk under her calm surface, "but you're making it difficult for me to hold back."
"I promise all of myself to you, without fear or restraint," Pamela whispered, planting kisses up and down his bare neck and chest with trembling fingers.
He nearly fainted as her hand moved to cover his velvety steel. For the first time she pulled away and blushed. Eventually she glanced downwards shyly.
"It's impossible," she breathed, wide-eyed.
"It will be impossible for me to control myself if you do that again. But no, it's fully possible, with patience, and some preparation. Do you trust me?"
The Rakehell Regency Romance Series Boxed Set 1 Page 96
