by Penny Dee
I looked at Jacob and saw the humor leave his face. I didn’t know Alex was home. Didn’t hear his car. I thought he was still out of town on business.
Not that we had anything to worry about. Alex discouraged me from being friendly with Jacob, but he wouldn’t lose his shit over us hanging out. He knew there was nothing between us. In the three years Jacob had been working here, Alex knew we had grown as close as brother and sister.
But something in his voice sent a chill down my spine.
Jacob rose to his feet and helped me to mine. Buying time, I dusted the grass off my legs, then followed him toward the house.
Alex beckoned us over to the pool house.
Jacob and I gave each other a confused look.
Because Alex never went to the pool house…ever.
Something wasn’t right.
And it became very apparent when we stepped inside and found Victoria tied to a chair, with two goons standing on each side of her, and Jean-Paul looking cold and intimidating by the window. My eyes shot back to Victoria who was struggling against the ties binding her hands to the chair, the swelling around one of her eyes telling the tale of her last ten minutes with Alex.
Jacob stiffened next to me, his hands fisted at his side. Before he could react, one of the goons grabbed his arms and twisted them behind his back, before shoving him across the room. He pushed Jacob onto another chair and held him there by aiming a gun at him.
Victoria started to cry.
“Alex…?” I looked at my godfather in alarm. Fear prickled at the base of my spine. “What are you doing?”
“What I should’ve done weeks ago when I found out my gardener was tending more than just the rose bushes. He was tending her bush as well.”
Oh hell.
Alex knew about Jacob and Victoria.
His furious gaze locked to mine.
“But I waited to see what you would do. Waited to see where your loyalties lay. I assumed they would keep it from you to begin with, but I knew you were too smart not to figure it out.” His black eyes narrowed. “Weeks passed. And nothing. No word from my goddaughter about the gardener and her stepmother. So, that begs the question, did you know?”
Our eyes locked. And I summoned all my strength from everything I had learned from him. I raised my chin, just slightly, but enough to let him know that I wasn’t afraid of him.
“Did you know your friend the gardener was fucking my wife?”
“Yes,” I said.
Alex prided himself on keeping a poker face. But his mask slipped momentarily, and I saw the darkness there.
But it wasn’t disappointment.
It wasn’t anger.
It was psychopathic rage.
He struck me across the face, and the force whipped my head to the side. But it didn’t knock me down. Instead, it activated my own rage and an innate instinct for survival. I stalked toward him, but the sound of the goon cocking his pistol at Jacob stopped me.
A smug smile curled on Alex’s lip. “There’s my girl.”
“You don’t need to do this.” I trembled.
“That’s where you’re wrong.” He removed his gun from his shoulder holster. “Do you know how I’ve stayed ahead of my enemies for so long? How I’ve stayed alive with so much bloodletting going on in this business? How I’ve outlived every one of my rivals who partake in this devil’s work?” He leaned in and whispered, “Because I am the devil.”
Fear prickled along my skin.
Our eyes were fixed, and I could see the lack of emotion in his. While he could see the alarm in mine.
“You need to let them go,” I said calmly, despite my heartbeat pounding in my ears. “Let them disappear. Start something new with someone else. You’ve done it before.”
“Oh, I already have.” He smiled but it was cold and lifeless. Then it vanished, and a shadow of evil darkened his face. “But I won’t let anyone disrespect me, do you understand? They will pay. Just as you will.”
“Please, don’t do this,” I begged.
Alex didn’t look angry. He looked disappointed.
“I want you to remember what role you played in this.”
And with that, he walked over to Jacob and put his gun to his temple. “Let it be a lesson to everyone not to cross me.”
My eyes met Jacob’s and he started to cry.
“I’m sorry,” I mouthed.
When Alex squeezed the trigger and the shot ripped through the afternoon light, I fell to my knees with a ferocious scream ripped straight from my soul.
Jacob fell to the floor, his eyes open and lifeless, his body limp and crumpled.
His soul gone.
I launched upright in bed, shaking and damp with sweat.
For a moment I thought it was another nightmare.
But it wasn’t.
Alex had killed Jacob.
My only friend.
And he had done it in front of me as punishment for keeping his wife’s affair from him. I had let him down and he saw it as betrayal.
I hadn’t allowed myself to think of Jacob in years. Because it hurt so damn much.
But apparently, my subconscious thought I needed reminding about who I was dealing with.
Climbing off the bed, I went to the liquor cupboard in the kitchen and removed the bottle of whiskey and a glass. I roughly poured the amber liquid into the glass, spilling it on the counter top and shakily bringing it to my lips.
Desperate to remove the tentacles of my dream from my mind, I knocked back the liquor and enjoyed the burn on the way down.
Jacob’s murder had been the beginning of the end for Alex and me.
The man who made me call him godfather.
The man I’d looked up to.
The man I’d done terrible things for.
Jacob’s terrified face swung before my eyes, so I splashed more whiskey into the glass and knocked it back too.
My godfather was a monster.
And I would never forgive him for what he did.
But it would be easier to hate him if I wasn’t just like him.
BULL
I didn’t see her until late afternoon the next day when I got back to the clubhouse. I had spent the morning with Ruger and Caleb visiting the Knights of Wrath clubhouse, where we’d sat down with the club’s president, Sabre, and discussed the next month’s order.
Once our rivals, the Knights were now our allies, as well as our biggest customer. Our arrangement was simple and lucrative for both clubs. The Kings grew the product and they purchased seventy-five percent of it. It was an arrangement that had worked for several years and as a result, our bonds grew stronger.
Sabre was one of the few people I’d reached out to when I’d learned about the hit. He was heavily connected in areas where the Kings had no interests, and with people the Kings had no business with. Like heroin kings and cocaine cartels. He had explored every burrow and ripped up every rock in his world to learn more about the supposed hit.
But he found nothing.
Just as we had.
And the other reliable contacts we had all over the country.
It’s what had me convinced that there was no hit out on me.
Gimmel Martel wanted me dead.
But wasn’t using a hired gun to do it.
After our meeting with the Knights, we visited our cannabis fields out by the watermelon fields. It was a massive production overseen by Caleb. Acres of marijuana plants that flew under the radar of the DEA and local law enforcement, thanks to good contacts and a small percent of the profits.
Again, another deal where everyone came out happy.
But I was distracted. I couldn’t keep my mind on the task. Because Taylor was pulling away, and I didn’t have a fucking clue how to handle it. The more I thought about it, the more I realized something hadn’t been right since the night I’d woken up to find her staring out the window. She’d tried to hide the fact that she’d been crying. I didn’t press her about it. Instead, I’d taken
her pain and doused it in physical pleasure until all she knew was ecstasy.
I knew she was frightened of something but I didn’t know what.
And she wasn’t about to share it with me.
Now, I’d frightened her off. Because yesterday wasn’t just sex. We’d both felt something. Something strong. Something potent.
Something real.
I rang her this morning but she didn’t answer. But a little while later, she sent me a message.
I’ll see you at the clubhouse this afternoon x
Something was wrong.
And it was fucking crazy, because I was the goddamn president of the biggest MC in the south. I saw and did shit that’d made most men sick to their fucking guts. Hell, I did things most men would turn away from.
Yet, apparently, giving a woman my heart was the most terrifying thing in the world to me. It made me paranoid. It made me fucking vulnerable.
And because it was all so new to me, I had no fucking idea how to navigate the feelings I had when I thought about her.
About the possibility she was pulling away.
Instead of being the calm, calculated president who usually executed every decision with confidence and stoic self-assurance, I felt like a fucking teenager who couldn’t control himself.
Leaving the cannabis fields, Ruger and I split up so he could check on Chastity. While Caleb stayed behind.
I rode into the late afternoon sun alone, my heart pounding, my stomach tight.
The first thing I heard when I entered the clubhouse was Taylor laughing.
The first thing I saw, was her with Randy, laughing like she didn’t have a fucking care in the world.
An unfamiliar sensation spread through me like a heatwave, gouging a path through my chest and hitting me like a punch to the heart.
Jealousy.
I wasn’t a jealous kind of guy. Jealousy made you weak and, in my world, weak got you dead.
But seeing Taylor laughing so happily with Randy made me more jealous than I’d ever been in my damn life. Because she was pulling away from me, and I didn’t know what to do to stop it.
I caught her gaze and her smile faded. She stepped away from Randy, because this woman could read me like a book. With one look she knew there was a bunch of crazy going on inside me. Randy, on the other hand, didn’t notice and simply gave me a nod before disappearing into the kitchen.
My eyes met hers.
“I need to see you in my office,” I said stiffly.
I thought she was going to fight me, but she didn’t. Instead, she dropped in step behind as we walked down the hallway. Once inside my office, she closed the door behind her while I used all my strength not to lose my shit.
“Do you want to fuck him?” I asked like an insane man.
A stupid, jealous, insane man.
Her eyes rounded. “Excuse me?”
“Is that why you don’t want me anymore? Is that why you’re pulling away?”
Taylor straightened and her eyes flared with fire. “Because I’m laughing with Randy, now I want to fuck him?” She stalked toward me, her eyes blazing. “Are you fucking kidding me right now?”
“Then why have you pulled away? Why does it feel like I’m…?”
She shoved her hands onto her hips. “Like what?”
“Like I’m fucking losing you,” I growled desperately.
“All of this over one night apart? Because I was tired. Why are you being so crazy?”
“Because I’m in love with you, dammit!” I growled.
The L-bomb exploded between us, and she took a step back. My words hung in the air, thick and heavy. My pulse raged in my ears, my chest rising and crashing with anticipation as I waited for her reaction. Of course, I hadn’t meant to say that part out loud, but now here we were.
“You love me?”
“No, I love my family and my friends. But I’m fucking in love with you.”
I couldn’t wait a moment longer to touch her. I grabbed her by her hands and pulled her to me, leaning down to plant a hot kiss on her beautiful mouth.
God, I was so in love with her it was driving me insane.
Frustrated at my inability to control all the crazy emotions racing through me, I let her go and stepped back, pushing a hand through my hair. I was in unfamiliar territory and I was fucking up.
“I know I sound like I’m crazy. Fuck, I know I’m acting crazy. But the night of the wedding…back at my place…did I imagine it?” I cupped her face and searched her eyes for a sign, needing to know that I hadn’t imagined it. “Have I fucked up? Have I gone too fast? Is that why you’re pulling away?”
Her eyes softened, and I could see the strain on her face as she pressed her cheek into my palm. She closed her eyes for a moment, as if she was absorbing my touch to her memory.
“No, you haven’t fucked up,” she said softly. “And you didn’t imagine anything because I feel it too…”
Her words slipped away as she opened her eyes, and the moment her gaze landed on mine, her chin quivered.
“Then why won’t you tell me what’s happening?” I wasn’t a man who begged. But I was ready to get on my knees and plead with this goddess to let go of what was holding her back, to beg her to fall for me. Just as I had fallen for her. “Why are you pulling away?”
“I’m not—”
“Then tell me what is wrong. How can I fix this?”
“I just need time…”
“Away from me?”
She pulled away. I could feel her mind racing. It was written all over her beautiful face. Slowly, she lifted her eyes. “I need to tell you something…”
A spark of hope lit up inside me. I was getting through to her.
“You can tell me anything.”
“Even if it means you won’t feel the same way about me anymore?”
“There’s nothing you could say, little bird, that would stop me from feeling how I feel about you.”
“Oh, there is,” she said shakily. She clasped her hands together and let out an unsteady breath. “There is something you need to know about me—”
A sudden knock on the door interrupted her.
I swung around, ready to murder whoever was on the other side.
“Go the fuck away!” I yelled, my hands curling into fists.
“Prez, it’s me, Davey, have you seen T, there’s no one at the bar and—”
“I swear to God, Davey, if that door opens!”
He paused on the other side of the door, then I heard him chuckle as he walked away, getting the wrong idea. “Horny motherfuckers…”
I turned back to Taylor, but she had taken a step back and I knew I had lost her again. Her walls were back up. She looked at her watch, her brow creased, her teeth grazing her lower lip.
“I have to go. Mindy is watching Noah, and she’ll need to get home for supper.”
“Taylor…please…” It was impossible to hide the desperation in my voice.
Her eyes softened. “You haven’t done anything wrong. This is all on me.”
I stood very still. Bracing myself. “Have I lost you?”
She reached for me and brushed her lips over mine and my knees went fucking weak.
“No. But there’s things you need to know about me. Things you’ll never be able to accept. But I can’t tell you here. Not right now. I will call you later and we’ll talk.”
She walked out of my office and my pounding, dark heart sank. My instincts were buzzing. And my instincts told me this wasn’t going to end well.
TAYLOR
I hadn’t cried in a long, long time.
When I escaped my past, I promised myself I wouldn’t cry over it ever again. It was done. I wasn’t that woman anymore.
But seeing the fear in Bull’s eyes reminded me that it wasn’t true at all.
I was still that woman.
And I had to be. The safety of my brother depended on it.
That left no room for love.
For him.
&nb
sp; Especially him.
I was crazy for thinking I could ever be free of my previous life. Who I was. But being with Bull had given me hope. Made me think I could have the life I so badly craved.
I drove home with tears streaming down my cheeks. I knew there was a lot to say to him. That we needed to talk. I was hurting him and it killed me, because my heart ached to tell him how I felt. But I wasn’t ready. Because that would mean telling him the truth, and the truth would ruin everything. He said nothing could change the way he felt about me…but he was wrong.
Pain was a dull ache in my chest as I opened my front door, but it was quickly replaced with a paralyzing fear when I heard Mindy talking to a familiar voice in the kitchen.
When I entered the room, my breath left me and I felt my knees grow weak.
Mindy looked up from the kitchen table, her smile bright, her eyes twinkling in the light.
“Oh hey, Taylor. Look who showed up!” she said naïvely.
The man with his back to me turned around, and I came face to face with the monster I’d been running from for seven years.
“Tay, Tay,” he said, rising to his feet. His arms parted, but when I didn’t move, he gave me a hurt look. “What? No hug for daddy?”
After Mindy left, still blissfully unaware about who she had let into my home, I sat down at the table and tried to calm my nerves.
My past was here, and it was about to explode in my face.
“What are you doing here?”
“You haven’t seen me since Charleston, and this is the welcome I get?” Alex said.
Twelve months ago, he had turned up at my apartment after seven years.
Just like that.
“Cut the crap, Alex. Why are you here? It wasn’t necessary for you to come.”
“Of course, it was. I’m growing impatient.”
“I need time,” I said, my voice shaky.
“Bad news, kid, you don’t have any left.” He tried to cajole me. “And if you think about confiding in the biker you’ve been hanging out with…” My eyes darted to him. “Oh yes, I’ve been watching you, Taylor. I know you’ve been hanging out with those bikers. At their clubhouse.”
