by Paul Kidd
"I'm a nudibrach!"
Benelux cleared her throat. A what?
"A type of sea slug with exposed gills and a brightly colored venomous integument." Escalla waggled her floral backside, making her anemone-like gills wave. "I didn't plan this! Why am I a nudibrach?"
Henry slithered closer, trying to keep his voice to a whisper. "It isn't what you were trying to be?"
"No!" Escalla tried to move. "Damn it! I look ridiculous. Hang on and I'll change back."
There was a glow of light, a jangling note of discord, and Escalla changed shape. Where once there had been a slug, there was now a short, gnomish creature with a huge pickle-shaped nose. The creature reached for its clothes, then cast a patient glance at the rest of the party.
"What? What are you all gaping at? If you don't like the view, then quit steaming up the window!" The creature muttered as it wrapped itself in Escalla's little dress. "Faerie butt. Does it every time."
The Justicar reached into his pouch and came out with the small mirror on a stick he used for peering about corners. Escalla took the mirror, gazed levelly into it and immediately had a fit.
"All right! Who's trying to be funny?" The girl frantically tugged at her nose. "Ouch! I'm a brownie! This is not funny!" Escalla suddenly jerked her hand away from her new nose. "Ick! I touched a brownie! I am a brownie! Ewww!"
She began to change shape again, but the Justicar leaped in to stop her. "Wait! Something's wrong."
"Jus, I'm a brownie! A lovable icon of childhood fun!" The bulbous-nosed creature did a jig of wild anger. "I have to change back before I puke!"
"Just wait." The Justicar let Cinders sniff at the air. "There might be something strange about this room or this level. Let us check it out first."
The Justicar carefully edged up to peek through the window in the door. Seething, Escalla sat down, one hand propped up her chin and the other propped up her huge nose.
"This is so unfashionable!"
Sitting beside her, Enid frowned. "Are brownies unfashionable?"
"Ha!" Escalla clicked her fingers. "Have you got any idea how many parties brownies get invited to?"
"Millions?"
"None!"
"Oh." The sphinx shrugged. "Well, I knew you would only have asked if it were really big or really small."
The Justicar stood peering through the window in the door. He examined the view very carefully, then signaled Henry to join him. They both looked through the window, staring into a slice of an alien world.
The window looked out onto a gloomy twilight. Ruined walls surrounded a castle courtyard littered with drifts of old, dry leaves. An empty fountain filled with sculpted hippocampi stood at the center of the open square. The sky held an eerie blood-red moon that stained the stones with a horrible venous purple light. Henry took a searching look at the scene, then ducked down to consult in whispers with the Justicar.
"Sir, do you know where that is?"
"No." The Justicar glowered, scratching the stubble of his chin. "But it's a gate into another world. That much is obvious."
Benelux made self-important throat clearing noises at Jus's side. If I might be permitted a glance? As you know, I am a multi-planar artifact. My erudition is clearly one of the party's strongest assets.
Jus drew the sword and lifted the edge of the blade over the window. He moved the sword slowly so that Benelux might see the view. The blade mused, brim full of wisdom and experience.
Yes… yes, yes… clearly not Oerth. Benelux mulled her thoughts. A double moon, characteristic blood-red sky. Did you note the architecture? Extremely distinct.
The Justicar kept the sword held high. "Do you recognize the place?"
Hmm. No.
Deeply annoyed at the waste of time, the Justicar shoved at the door. It swung open upon an alcove that ended in a clear, slightly reflective wall. The Justicar carefully touched the surface-pushed-and saw his hand penetrate as though piercing clear water. He withdrew his hand, sniffed his fingers, and then waved the other party members through.
"Come on. Escalla, sweep the path behind us. Henry, close the door."
Guarded by the ever-watchful Justicar, one by one the party stepped through into another world. They breathed alien air, trod alien stones, and crossed swiftly into cover. Polk waddled through a drift of leaves, his footfalls the only sound in the breathless gloom.
The scent of the Demonweb had gone, and with it, a strange, bleak sense of depression lifted from their souls. Each of them stood a little straighter. Escalla looked at her hand, then shimmered and changed-this time flickering back into her usual faerie shape. She heaved a huge sigh of relief. Vain as a cat, she inspected her naked self, front and behind, with Jus's mirror, suspiciously searching for the slightest hint of brownie lingering on her skin. She tried her wings, found she could fly, and then joyously turned invisible and whirred away into the sky.
The Justicar looked up at the row of grim, blank windows that faced the courtyard. Nothing stirred, and yet the castle was filled with a sense of dread presence. He carefully examined the fallen leaves, the dust and dirt, kneeling in the shadows of a crumbled hall.
"Cinders?"
Cinders smells undead.
Jus held up a hand to keep his friends still and motionless in the gloom. He went flat and slithered through the long weeds that grew throughout the courtyard, moving under brambles with scarcely a whisper of sound. The Justicar found old, gnawed bones-human bones. A long-dead body lay nearby, the skin waxen and drained of blood. Eviscerated and gnawed, the body still held a vile pallor. The Justicar rolled the corpse over. No blood had pooled at its back. The body had been drained of blood before it died.
Jus crept back to his friends, and Escalla popped into place beside him.
"Hey, Jus?" she whispered. "What do you think lives here?"
"Vampire."
"Oh. Whacko."
They both took it so matter-of-fact that Henry and Enid could only stare. Polk scribbled in his chronicles. Benelux muttered to herself. The Justicar gathered the party in the shadows of a tower-well out of sight of the castle windows.
"We can stay here and rest. We just have to be careful. A vampire is not a problem if it never knows we're here." The Justicar said it as if he'd just told them to fetch water or cut wood-all part of the job. "Escalla will go see if the vampire is near. We'll find a secure room. We need to rest and replenish our magic. Then we go straight for Lolth's palace and hit it hard."
"Vampire scout away! See you in ten!" The faerie saluted Jus and flew away, turning invisible as she went. While they awaited her return, Henry knelt beside the Justicar and looked at the dark spaces around the castle yard.
"Sir? Is it dawn or twilight?"
"It probably stays like this. Perfect for undead." The Justicar moved stealthily over to a set of stairs. "Watch the others. Don't let Polk wander off."
He knelt above a tiny smear on a flagstone, then followed the trace to the base of a tower. There were slight marks in the dust that filmed the stair-long, broad smears. The Justicar touched the marks, lifted his fingers to his nose and sniffed, then lifted the scent up to Cinders.
Snake smell.
21
Escalla reappeared with a soft pop, turning visible, combing out her hair with her fingers. Clearly, she was thrilled to be flying once again. She settled down with Jus and Henry, keeping her voice low.
"Found something?" she asked.
"Snake tracks. Tanar'ri." Jus traced the tracks for her so that she could see. "Might be our six-armed friend again."
"Oh, if you liked that, you're gonna love this!" Keeping low, the faerie beckoned the group upstairs. "Come check it out!"
She led the way into the tower, staying visible and peeking cautiously about each corner as she went. The door swung open to reveal a room with a drab wooden table. On the table stood a bottle of wine, a jug of water, a cob of bread, and lengths of hard sausage. A bag of dried fruit lay beside a bleeding haunch of mutton-raggedly to
rn from a carcass and inexpertly skinned. No flies had come to the meat, and the blood was still fresh.
Escalla signaled everyone to ignore the food, and then she opened another door.
In a huge hall hung with moldering old banners, a vampire lay sprawled on the floor. The creature had been utterly demolished-sliced, decapitated, and a stake driven through its heart The stake, made from the leg of a chair, had been driven through the vampire's torso with enough force to penetrate the floorboards beneath. Escalla ushered her friends over, waving her hands toward the corpse.
"This is seriously icky! Have you guys met Count Bisecto, Master of Homicide Hall?"
Moving swiftly to the vampire, Jus knelt to examine the damage. Polk trundled over to a fallen jug, sniffing eagerly as he caught the scent of crab-apple brandy. Mincing over the floor and avoiding extravagant pools of black sticky stuff, Escalla made her way to Jus's side. The Justicar was carefully examining the wounds on the vampire's body, while Cinders grinned away, his big teeth gleaming.
"So what did him in?" Escalla asked.
"Curved blades." Using the tip of his hunting knife, the Justicar opened up a wound. "A cut from a very sharp blade. Body weight behind the blow, pushing forward. Good technique."
"Hoopy!" Escalla drew the man away. "You think it was the snake lady?"
"Almost certainly. Swords, tracks… she killed him in a single pass-three hits, all at once."
"Creepy." Escalla pondered memories of the tanar'ri. "She had nice hair. And a nice butt-for a snake, I mean." The faerie turned. "Polk! Careful, man! You don't know what's been in there!"
Polk had taken possession of the fallen jug, smacking his lips. Every cell of his body craved an alcoholic interlude, and crab-apple brandy would surely hit the spot. He held the jug in his back feet and inverted it, eagerly opening his mouth. Thick vapors swirled from the jug and pooled out over the floor to gather in a mist behind him.
Behind Polk, Escalla hovered in front of the Justicar.
"So Jus, are you sure about this? How does someone manage to kill a vampire with a single blow?"
The mist behind Polk suddenly flashed. In its place, appeared a female vampire, black clad and arrowing toward Escalla and the Justicar. Escalla squeaked and sped skyward. Screaming, claws reaching, the vampire streaked below her. There was a sharp whisper and a blur of light, and the vampire stopped and stared in shock.
The Justicar held his pose for an instant-sword out. He reversed the blade and sheathed it, sliding Benelux slowly back into her scabbard.
The vampire's severed head tilted back, burning slowly as it fell. The decapitated torso stood swaying, the undead flesh beginning to wither from contact with the metal of Benelux. The torso finally fell. Staring at it, Henry blinked then snapped a crossbow bolt in two and hammered it straight into the vampires heart.
"Um… all right!" Escalla looked at the corpse. "Yeah, like that! That was good."
Completely unconcerned, Polk had already begun helping himself to the dregs of brandy in the jug. "That's just the way I would have done it, son! But you need just a little bit more style."
A horrific scream came from the courtyard below, followed by the sound of claws scrabbling beneath the windows. The Justicar directed his friends back from the windows and doors, guiding them to the center of the room.
"Henry, back to the middle of the room! Enid and Escalla, up in the rafters. Polk, play dead!" The Justicar drew his sword. "Here they come!"
Through the doors and windows, a howling mob of ghouls-jackal-thin, stinking, skeletal, and crazed-rushed into the room and ran madly at Henry and the Justicar. Henry coolly opened fire, his magic crossbow stuttering. A stream of five crossbow bolts tore through one ghoul, sent it crashing to the ground, then Henry drew his sword and followed the Justicar as the big man ploughed into the foe.
Cinders snarled and sent a blast of flames writhing through the ghouls. The creatures twisted and screamed, burning as they fell. The Justicar wielded Benelux in a savage blur, the ghouls burning like paper as they fell. The ranger's stoneskin flared and died.
Henry blocked a ghoul's claws and ran the creature through. Another ghoul sprang at him in a fury, only to be torn apart by a stream of golden bees shot from the rafters. Enid fell atop the last three ghouls-swatted one so that it simply fell in half-and discovered another flat beneath her paws.
The last ghoul turned to flee. Jus whip-cracked his magic rope about the creature's torso, jerked it from its feet and rammed Benelux through the monster's head. The body flared into flames, and Jus yanked on the rope, spinning the burning corpse across the floor.
Still sitting in the rafters and nursing her unused wand, Escalla looked suitably impressed. "Hoopy! What was that-nine in, nine down?"
"Nine! Are you blind, girl? It was a dozen!" Polk happily jotted notes into his chronicles. "For every piece of evil seen, there's three waiting in the wings, so that makes four-dozen defeated! Forty-eight ghouls! Not bad for a minute or two."
"Polk, shut up." The Justicar kicked a ghoul's corpse over and examined the body. He stabbed it once more to make it burn. "Scavengers that serve the vampires. They eat bodies drained of blood."
Still panting and pale, Henry wiped his mouth. "Why did they attack like that, sir?"
"If they can stop us from killing the vampires, then they still have their meal ticket." The Justicar burned away the last remnants of both vampires' skulls. "Everyone check this room, then retreat back into the tower."
Escalla had already begun a search. Rummaging behind a painted throne, the faerie gave a whoop and dragged out a sack that clinked and clanked.
"Treasure! Finally we find a treasure!" She upended the sack. Out spilled gold coins, silver coins, bent copper pennies, wooden slugs, little gems, big gems, potion bottles, and a scroll. "Look, guys! Treasure! Whoever offed the vampire just left the stash lying around!"
Beside herself with excitement, the faerie flung herself atop the gold and wallowed atop the pile. "Enid, come over here and try this! Oh, I'm so excited I can see through time!" Escalla plucked a bottle from the treasure pile. "What's this? Magic potions? O-o-oh, a regeneration potion!" The girl unshipped the slowglass gem from down her front. "All right! Everyone pose with the money and wave! Smile!"
The Justicar found the discarded bag that the treasure had once been in. He lifted it to Cinders's nose, and the hell hound sniffed at it carefully.
"Tanar'ri?"
Tanar'ri snake!
"Yes." Rising, the Justicar signaled Henry to his side. "Get back into the room with the food. Barricade the door to the courtyard. I'll bring Escalla and the treasure."
"Yes, sir."
They retrieved the treasure through the simple expedient of opening the portable hole, then pushing the entire loot pile inside-faerie, potion bottles, and all. Escalla gave a squawk and looked out over the edge of the hole as Jus dragged it over the floor to the other room.
"Hey, Jus! Hey look! Treasure!"
"Yep"
"Real treasure! There's gold and potions… and jewels! One of them's a diamond!"
"Uh-huh." The Justicar nodded. "Exactly the right size to use for a stoneskin spell?"
"Oh-oh, yeah. Did yours run out yet?"
"Just then."
"Ah." The girl suddenly took on a thoughtful look, ducked into the hole and came up with one of the potion bottles. She gave it a sniff. "Healing potion, Flanaess style."
"The sausage in the room is lying on a bag. The bag is stenciled with the seal of a Keggle Bend merchant." The Justicar reached the far room, where Henry was busily dropping a bar into place against the outer door. "Our snake woman is a busy girl."
"A busy girl with an agenda." Escalla climbed out of the hole. Her eye took in the food, doors leading off to two other small, quiet rooms filled with bedding. "She wants us to rest."
"She took care of the only thing here that was dangerous. The chief vampire would have been a lot tougher than his bride." Jus spied a fireplace and
checked it-a metal grate sealed off the chimney flue. "We each need at least four hours to rest and get spells back. Polk and Cinders can keep guard. We can put that mutton on to cook."
Enid looked up guiltily. The stripped mutton bone lay on the floor before her, and she covered it up with her paws.
"Um, aren't you all going to fry up that nice sausage?"
"I guess we are." Escalla looked about the table and sighed. "Any faerie cakes? Honey? Jam? Sugar?"
"No. Sorry."
"Sod it. If I don't keep my sugar intake up, I get into such a mood!" Escalla tugged at the Justicar, dragging him over to one of the little side rooms. "All right. You meditate, I'll grab my spell book, and we can grind that diamond. Let's get rested up."
The next room was small, dark, and had windows bolted, sealed, and shuttered tight. Spreading Cinders out over a chair to keep guard in the kitchen, Jus closed the door on the sounds and smells of dinner. He dropped down into the portable hole, retrieved blankets and a pillow made out of an old sack, then clambered wearily out again. He found Escalla sitting surrounded by her loot and tools-lich staff, frost wand, spellbook, and potion bottles.
Peace at last. Still dressed in her awful makeshift dress, she gave Jus a wan little smile.
"Hello."
He kissed her softly, and she curled into him. It was a simple, powerful love with so few complications. Escalla wound her arms about Jus's neck, leaned her forehead against his skin and sighed.
They held each other for a long, long time. Escalla rested a hand on Jus's skull as they drew apart, and she scratched his stubble with a smile.
"Stubble." She loved the feel of it beneath her hands. "Let's get you shaved. Can't have you facing ultimate evil with afternoon shadow on your head."
He was tired, but he laughed. She sat on his thigh and raked through the loot, shaking the potion bottle beside her ear. Jus looked at the writing on the label and scowled.
"Elven?"
