She’d been quiet, withdrawn, since that day in the meadow snow. She’d watch him with haunted eyes, her face expressing such longing that it was almost more than he could endure.
Even though he wanted to take her in his arms, and beg her to stay, he wouldn’t. He’d thought about it long and hard, marriage and all that it entailed. He’d seen the way she had reacted to John’s illness. What if it had happened to a child of her own? Life on the mountain was lived close to the edge, with death only a breath away from life. How could he marry her, subject her to that?
He couldn’t. He loved her, and because he loved her he would do what was best for her. In the long run, she would be grateful that he had. Sighing, he hoisted the ax and drove it into the tree. It was dealing with the present that was so damned difficult.
Of course there were blessings to be counted. John was back to being his impish self, and the bickering between the three older boys was worse than ever. Everything had returned to normal.
Everything but him.
Tanner knew with the snow melting as much as it had, he could take Kate back to Jacksonville. Somehow, he couldn’t make himself do it. He would prolong the sweet torture of enduring her presence, knowing she could never be his. Storing up memories, memories that would have to last him a lifetime. Rather that, than not having her here at all.
Kate didn’t know she could leave, and Tanner had instructed the boys not to tell her. His brothers had made it plain that they wanted her to stay on the mountain. They were also angry that he would not do something to keep her there permanently.
They didn’t know about the mortgage, or how close they were to losing the mountain and their home. He’d never told them. And he wouldn’t, because there was nothing they could do about the situation. If they knew, they would probably do something foolish, something desperate, and make matters even worse.
True to his promise to the mine owner, he had sent one batch of logs down the mountain. But with the weather delaying the cutting, he was behind on the work, far from completing the contract. Too far. A knot of worry tightened his middle, making him increase his pace. He’d pray for a miracle, but figured his store of miracles had been used up with John’s illness. As long as he could put one foot in front of the other, chip one more chip from the bark of the tree, Tanner wouldn’t bother the Almighty with his personal problems. He would do it on his own.
He labored until full dark, then packed his gear onto the mules by lantern light. After pausing only long enough to use that same light to thaw his half-frozen hands, he extinguished the lantern, saving the oil for another day. Weary of body and spirit, he mounted his horse, picked up the lead rope and headed for home.
A crescent moon spilled its pale light through the tree branches overhead, dappling the snow-covered trail with glitters of silver. The moonlight made the shadows even darker, more impenetrable. Once, he caught the gleam of some forest creature’s eyes. Deer, he decided, when his pack animals showed no fear.
Tanner raised his head and gazed at the narrow strip of sky revealed between the towering evergreens. Untold numbers of stars sparkled against the ebony canopy. The brilliance of the stars and the absence of clouds told him it would be very cold tonight. It would also be clear tomorrow.
The trail narrowed. Wet branches, and a tangle of wild blackberry vines, brushed the flanks of his horse. Tanner reached down to free his pant leg from one of the thorny lengths. The gelding danced nervously, then came to a halt. The mules planted their feet and strained against the rope.
The critters had never liked this section of trail even when it wasn’t overgrown with brush as it was now. Tanner knew their skittishness tonight had nothing to do with the thick undergrowth. Eyes squinted, he peered into the blackness. He couldn’t see it. But he could smell it. Musky, rank. A bear.
The horse squealed and sidestepped.
“Whoa, son,” Tanner crooned, hoping his voice would stop his gelding and the mules from bolting. He slid his rifle from the scabbard.
A deep wuff-wuff came from a stand of trees. Limbs swished. Cracked. A bulky dark shape left the shadows and came to a halt on the moonlit path.
A yearling, he guessed, judging the bear’s size. The springlike weather must have made it leave the den.
The bear rose to its full height and peered toward him. It tilted its shaggy head to one side as if puzzled by what it saw.
The gelding and the mules, recognizing the scent of an old enemy, trembled and fought to run. Only Tanner’s firm grip held them in check.
He’d hunted from the horse before: it knew the sound of a rifle. But the mules... If he fired the gun, they might break the rope. Besides, he didn’t want to kill the bear if it wasn’t necessary. “Go, on. Git!” he yelled, waving his weapon.
The bear didn’t git. It took a step closer.
Tanner couldn’t back up the horse because the mules were behind him. Besides, the trail was too narrow. He couldn’t just sit there and let the bear walk right up to him, either.
If his shot only wounded the bear without killing it, he would really be in trouble. Spotting a large, dead limb over the bear’s head, Tanner hoisted the gun to his shoulder and took aim. He squeezed the trigger.
The rifle roared.
The mules hauled back on the rope and bucked.
The severed branch fell, striking the startled bruin on the head. The bear dropped to all fours. Then it wheeled and bounded into the darkness, crashing through brittle brush. The noise faded as the bear got farther away.
“Whew. Glad that’s over.” Tanner put the gun back into the rifle boot, then nudged his horse forward. He was anxious to get home. The boys would have heard the gunshot. One or more of them would be coming out to see what was wrong.
He’d covered about a mile when he saw a light bobbing toward him.
“Tanner? Tanner, is that you?”
“We heard a shot.”
“It’s all right,” he shouted. When he got closer he saw Matt and Mark. Both were armed.
“Thought you might need help,” Mark panted out.
“What was it?” Matt asked.
“A yearling bear,” Tanner said, chuckling. “He was as surprised to see me as I was him. It was a standoff for a while, but the shot scared him off. He’s probably still running.” “Kate wanted to come, too. Luke practically had to hog-tie her to keep her in the house.”
“What did she think she could do?” Tanner asked. “She can’t shoot.”
Mark laughed. “Knowing Kate, if she thought you were in any danger, she would have tried to whip that bear with a stick.”
“She probably would have done it, too,” Matt said ruefully. “Sometimes that woman scares me.”
“Sometimes she scares me, too,” Tanner admitted.
“Guess we’d better head for home.” Mark glanced back down the trail. “If we keep her waiting much longer, she’ll be coming after all of us.”
“Just the other day,” Mark continued when they’d begun to walk, “she boxed Luke’s ears good.”
“He deserved it,” Matt said. “I was ready to wallop him myself for teasing her so much.”
“I remember,” Tanner said. “John told me. He sure got a kick out of it, especially since he’s usually the one Luke picks on.”
“Kate’s temper kind of reminds me of your ma’s,” Tanner added after a pause. “Maggie didn’t care how big or tough a fellow was, she’d cut him down to size. Kept Pa towing the line, that’s for sure.”
“I miss Mama,” Mark said sadly. “It’s nice having a woman around the place again.”
“Don’t get too used to it,” Tanner warned. “Kate won’t be here much longer.”
After that the boys became silent.
When they neared the house, Matt and Mark took the animals on to the barn.
Tanner removed his rifle and his canvas lunch sack, then trudged through the slush toward the house.
Kate launched herself off the front porch and into his arms. “T
anner, are you all right?” she asked, her voice trembling. “I heard a gunshot.” She patted his face, his head, as if searching for any telltale wounds.
“I’m fine, darlin’. I only shot to scare away a bear.”
“A bear!” She stared at him in horror, then wrapped her arms around his waist and held on tight. “You might have been injured—or killed,” she said, her face buried in his coat.
“It was only a little bear, and a scared one at that. After I fired, he high-tailed it.” He laughed, remembering the sight.
“But I do appreciate your concern.” He raised his hand and stroked her hair.
“My concern!” She twisted away, her eyes shooting blue fire. “Every day you run off into the woods, and you don’t come home until after dark. You’re doing it to get away from me. Don’t try to deny it.” She swiped at her cheeks. “Tomorrow, I want to go back to Jacksonville.”
Tanner frowned. Somebody must have let the cat out of the bag. “Calm down, Kate. We still don’t know anything about the epidemic. Why don’t you stay on a while longer, at least until I find out what the situation is in town.”
“What good would it do to stay? You’ve made it plain there’s nothing for me here. I’ve accepted that. Now I have to get on with my life.” She ran toward the door, then turned to face him. “Tomorrow.” She disappeared into the house.
Tanner sighed. He knew he’d have to take her back eventually, but damn it, why did it have to be so soon?
Kate didn’t appear for supper. From the accusing eyes that met his around the table, he knew his brothers put the blame for that squarely onto him. He’d hurt her. But he couldn’t have done anything different.
* * *
The next morning the question of whether he would return Kate to Jacksonville or not was taken out of his hands. Tanner stood on the porch, wondering what to do about the situation, when he spotted a rider coming across the meadow. A rider leading an extra horse.
He set his coffee cup on the porch railing and went to greet the man.
“Howdy, Tanner.” The visitor took off his hat and waved it. The long white hair and beard left no doubt as to the rider’s identity. It was T. L. Long, the circuit preacher.
Just what I need. Tanner forced a smile and raised a hand. “Hi, yourself, T.L. What brings you up this way?”
The solemn old man drew his horse up and dismounted. “Could be I came to perform a wedding?” he eyed Tanner, waiting for an answer.
“Nobody up here getting married,” he replied smoothly.
“Is Miss Kathleen Deveraux up here?”
“Yeah, Kate’s here. In fact I was getting ready to take her back to town.”
“I’ll take her back—if she’s wanting to go. But first I intend to talk with her.”
“About what?”
“Tanner, that girl spent a whole month on this mountain. You haven’t been known to be a saint where the ladies are concerned. I want to make certain that nothing happened that shouldn’t have.”
“I didn’t rape her, if that’s what you’re implying.”
“There’s other ways for a woman to lose her virtue,” the old man said, his own voice rising.
“What’s all the shouting about?” Matt stood in the open doorway.
Kate stood directly behind him.
“This old coot wants reassurance that you’re still a virgin,” Tanner said, staring at her.
She gave a startled gasp, then turned crimson.
“Tanner, damn you!” His fists clenched, Matt strode down the steps.
“Don’t bite off more than you can chew, boy,” Tanner warned. “You might whip one of us, but even you can’t take all of us on,” Mark stated furiously.
Luke and even little John glared at him.
“Don’t bet on it,” Tanner said coldly.
“Stop it!” Kate cried. “Stop it this minute.” She looked at the old man. “Sir, I don’t know who you are, or what’s going on here, but won’t you come in out of the cold?”
“I’d be obliged, Miss Deveraux. I’m T. L. Long, the circuit rider. I heard about you being up here, and thought it my duty to investigate.”
“You’re a minister?” Her gaze swept past the old man and focused on Tanner.
He held his breath. She was still mad at him. Now was her chance for revenge—if she decided to take it. She could get him lynched—or hitched. Or she could say goodbye and ride away. The choice was hers to make.
“It might be better if we talk alone,” she said to the minister. She ushered the man inside and shut the door.
Tanner waited nervously for the verdict.
While T.L. was no match for him when it came to strength or muscle, Tanner would never raise a hand against him. He respected the elderly preacher too much for that. Whatever T.L. commanded he would be forced to do. It was either that or get out of the country.
A rueful smile twisted Tanner’s mouth. Even if he did leave, the circuit rider would track him down. That old man was as tenacious as a bulldog.
A moment later the door opened and the minister motioned them inside. “I need to ask you boys a question. Did anything go on here that shouldn’t have?”
Following along behind them, Tanner held his breath. He knew the boys wanted Kate to stay. What he didn’t know was, would they lie to keep her?
“No, sir. We protected Kate like she was our own,” Matt said vehemently.
“Well, there was that time— Ow-w!” Mark cried out, when Luke punched him in the ribs.
“What are you saying, boy?” T.L.‘s hawk eyes fastened on Mark’s.
Mark swallowed. “Nothing, sir. I was just joshing.”
“Luke?”
“She’s pure as the driven snow,” Luke vowed, placing a hand over his heart.
A puzzled expression on his face, John stared from one to the other. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, but I want Kate to stay. I love her.” He hugged her around the waist.
“We all love her, squirt, and we all want her to stay.” Matt turned and glared at Tanner. “But it ain’t up to us to ask her.”
Every eye went to Tanner. Waiting, demanding that he make it right. He shifted on his feet. “Kate’s a wonderful woman, and she deserves better than being stuck on this mountain. She’s anxious to get on with her life so I say we wish her well.” He held out his hand. “Goodbye, Kate. I’ll be down to see you in a day or two.”
Her face white, she looked at his hand, but she didn’t take it. “Thank you for your hospitality,” she said stiffly. She whirled and spoke to the minister. “Give me a moment to get my things.” Then she ran from the room.
Tanner, his heart aching, picked up his hat and stalked out the door.
Chapter 17
After she’d said a tearful goodbye to the boys, T.L. helped Kate onto his extra horse, then mounted his own and led the way down the mountain.
Kate didn’t look back. Couldn’t look back. She felt as though she left part of herself behind.
Fluffy, too, had seemed confused, racing from her to the house and back again. Finally, he gave her a sad-eyed look and trotted along by her side.
Tanner hadn’t waited until she had left. As usual, he’d grabbed his hat and taken to the woods. Bitterness tightened her mouth. He was probably glad to be rid of her. She thought of the hand he’d offered her. The hand she hadn’t accepted. It had seemed so cold, so remote, especially after what they’d shared. Thinking of the rare happy times they’d spent together, her heart ached, her eyes blurred with unshed tears. She blinked, determined not to let them fall.
All too soon, the easy path was behind them and she was forced to concentrate on the steep descent ahead.
“Give the horse his head, Miss Kate,” T.L. called back over his shoulder.
She certainly wouldn’t attempt to guide the animal. Allowing enough slack, she knotted the reins and looped them over the pommel, then she wrapped both hands around the saddle horn and hung on tight.
The horse went to
his haunches, trembling as he made it around one sharp, ice-coated switchback, only to be met with another.
Rigid with tension, Kate fought to maintain her seat in the saddle. She stared straight ahead, avoided looking over the outer edge of the seemingly nonexistent trail. She didn’t need to see the chasm; she could hear from the clatter of rocks dislodged by the horses’ hooves how far it was to the bottom.
Although the snow had begun to melt in some places, others were layered with thick coats of blue-green ice. More than once, the horses lost their footing and only their inborn agility and a few murmured prayers kept them and their riders from skidding over the edge.
To think she hadn’t realized the danger when she’d come up the mountain that dark, snowy night that now seemed so long ago.The minister, having already made the journey once that day, took the return trek in stride.
But Kate, tense to the point of exhaustion, found the mountain trail with its slick surface and loose gravel completely unnerving. Nevertheless, she was grateful for the distraction. It helped her forget that every mile she traveled took her farther away from the boys. Farther away from Tanner. It also gave her an excuse not to carry on a conversation.
On the final descent into the valley, the trail widened. The minister pulled his horse over and rode alongside of her. Fluffy, pursuing a rabbit, raced ahead.
Although the temperature was warmer at the lower elevation, the air held a distinct chill, partly due to the lateness of the day, partly due to a layer of valley fog.
“‘Spect you’ll be glad to get home, now that the smallpox is over,” the old man said.
“I will be happy to get my pie shop opened again,” she affirmed. Glancing around, she noticed that the piles of rubble and burned timbers had disappeared from Jacksonville’s streets, along with the stench of sulphur and smoke. The yellow ribbons had been taken down. A few wreaths denoting the passage of loved ones still remained on some doorways, and a number of new raw earthen mounds showed in the cemetery. Outside of that, it was as though the smallpox epidemic had never occurred.
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