Then, during the smallpox epidemic, he’d practically kidnapped her and taken her to the mountain—because he felt obligated to take care of her.
Had he also felt obligated to kiss her, to make love to her in every way but the one that would leave him no choice but to marry her?
Then, recently, he’d decided to court her, even though it was obvious that he had no idea of what the term entailed.
Why? Was it because he didn’t want anybody else to have her? Since he had been so determined to marry her off, that didn’t make sense either.
But thinking back on it, she realized that it was shortly after Tanner had decided to court her that most of her other gentleman friends had ceased to call. Did Tanner have something to do with that, too?
She thought of his marriage proposal. No, she corrected, he never asked her to marry him. He’d simply announced it, as if she had no say at all in the matter. And he’d only done that after the ladies had caught him coming out of her bedroom.
Obligation again, she was sure of it.
How could she ever trust his motives? Especially when she doubted that he really knew what he wanted himself.
If only he really cared.
She closed her eyes and hugged her pillow, imagining what might have happened if the ladies hadn’t arrived when they did, if their lovemaking had had a whole different ending....
* * *
Awakening with a headache, his mouth feeling like he had been eating fuzzy caterpillars, Tanner wondered why his feet were dangling on the floor, and what had happened to make him feel so bad. Holding onto his head, he sat up. Then he remembered. He was at Kate’s. Before that he’d been drinking with Tom Fuller.
Still half tipsy, he felt his way to the kitchen, located a pitcher of water and dumped a portion of it over his head. He used the rest to rinse his mouth.
He lifted the curtain and peered out the window. It had been late when he’d left the saloon. By now it must be the wee hours of the morning. He should leave. Kate had probably gone to bed hours ago. Considering what had happened earlier that day, she probably wouldn’t take it too kindly if he was still there when she got up in the morning.
He gathered his coat and hat, then hesitated. After what had happened with the Dobbs brothers, he didn’t like leaving her door unlocked. And he couldn’t latch it from outside. He had to wake her so that she could lock up behind him.
When he neared the bed, he heard her mumble in her sleep. She thrashed about as if she were having a nightmare.
Thinking to comfort her, he sat down on the edge of the mattress, then reached out and touched her shoulder. “Kate? Are you...”
“Are you going to kiss me or not?” she whispered.
“What?” He couldn’t have heard her right. He leaned closer.
Her eyes were closed.
Was she asleep, or wasn’t she?
Before he could decide, she locked her arms around his neck and pulled him over in the bed. She mumbled something in his ear.
“Kate, are you asleep?”
She didn’t answer. She also didn’t let go.
He kissed her, gently, hesitantly. “Sweet, so sweet.” Knowing she must be dreaming, but unable to resist the pleasure, he kissed her again.
She kissed him back with a passion that curled his toes.
Still feeling the effects of the night before, he was lost before he’d begun. He couldn’t resist her now if the whole town stood there with loaded shotguns.
But she apparently didn’t intend to be resisted. She kissed his ears, his hair, anything she could reach.
His heart thundered, and his blood roared in his ears. He tried holding Kate in one arm while yanking off his boots with the other. He couldn’t balance long enough to do it. He did manage to unbutton his shirt, but before he could attempt anything else, she tangled her hands in his hair and pulled his head to her breast. He came up with a mouthful of nightgown. She pulled him down again and he nuzzled the damp cloth until he found what he was seeking. Beneath his lips, her breast rose full and warm, its tip sweet as sugar candy. He drew it into his mouth, wishing the garment wasn’t between them.
She smelled like flowers, tasted like cinnamon. Both he found more intoxicating than the bourbon and also more addicting. She filled his mind, took his senses. He fumbled with the neck of her night garment. Buttons. Tiny buttons. He groaned.
She opened her eyes. Blinked. “Tanner? What...?”
He kissed her into silence. That was when she became aware that it was no dream. He was really here. A coil of heat spread through her belly. Was this desire? This awful aching?
“Tanner,” she whispered. The moonlight slanting through her bedroom window showed him as clearly as if she had lighted a lamp. His tousled black hair drooped onto his forehead. Eyes dark as night burned with an inner fire. A fire for her. An answering glow blazed inside her. “Tanner,” she said softly, raising a hand to touch his stubbled cheek.
“Darlin’, you’re not asleep.” It wasn’t a question. His expression, what she saw in his eyes, spoke of his desire, told her what he intended to do. And heaven help her, she wanted him to do it.
His gaze moved over her face, caressing each feature. Then it settled on her mouth.
She moistened her lips, then his mouth descended to claim hers. This time there was no hesitation; his kiss was fierce, demanding. His tongue slipped between her teeth, coaxing, entreating. She welcomed it, teased it, shyly, then eagerly, exploring with her own.
He moaned, his lips moving along her face, down her neck, to her breasts.
She tugged at the damp nightgown, wanting nothing between them. “Help me.”
Sensing her urgency, he pulled her to her feet in a sudden, swift movement. Buttons flew, then he whisked the nightgown over her head. He looked at her a moment, making her shy in her nakedness. “Kate?”
Her hands rose to encircle his neck.
He kissed her again, then gently lowered her to the blankets. His hands and lips dispelled the last of her resistance, and she surrendered with all of her being. He stroked her wonderingly, making her quiver with eager desire. He suddenly stopped and moved away from her. Thinking he meant to abandon her, she cried out in protest.
He yanked off his boots, his shirt, then unfastened his pants. He stood, fully aroused, his body pulsing with his need. He waited, giving her a chance to change her mind.
She smiled and held up her arms. “Tanner, love me.”
“Oh, I surely will, darlin’.”
She took his hand and yanked him down on the bed, then she straddled him.
“I must be dreaming,” he gasped, when she leaned over and smothered his face with kisses. Her hair, losing its pins, fell forward. She brushed it aside and kissed his mouth, his whiskery chin, his neck. Then, sliding lower, she tasted the skin around his nipple and felt it harden. She licked his salty flesh.
She was a virgin. And she knew he would expect her to be timid, fearful, especially this being her first time. Instead she felt like a pagan goddess, intent on setting his blood on fire.
His eyes raked hers, telling her this was the last chance she would have to stop him.
She couldn’t. She wouldn’t. Whatever happened, she would welcome it with no remorse. She savored the glorious feel of him, his sleek hard body, his musky masculine scent. She slid her hand down his abdomen, lower. He swallowed when her fingers curled around his arousal. She caressed the hard swollen length that told her of his desire. He was so hard, so hot.
Tanner trembled and drew in ragged breath. “No. Don’t.” He quickly untangled her fingers and held her hand to one side.
“Why? Does it hurt?”
“It feels too damn good, and I want to make it last. I already feel as if I’m about to explode.”
She pressed her body to his, her hungry lips seeking his mouth. She moved restlessly, her breasts creating delicious friction against the mat of hair on his chest.
He drew in a sharp breath. A quiver shook him f
rom head to foot. Last? He’d be lucky if he made it through the next minute.
“Take me,” she whimpered.
Her desperation fed his own. He rolled her onto her back. His fingers sought her inner core, touching her in a way that made her cry out with urgent need. Then, knowing she was ready, he shifted his weight, entering her slowly, letting her grow accustomed to the fullness. Afraid he might hurt her, he pressed against a veil that would not yield. He kneaded her breasts and kissed her, his touch gentle, hesitant.
As if sensing his reluctance, she arched toward him, impaling herself on his body.
Trembling violently, he gripped her hips and pulled her home.
She surrounded, enfolded him in her tight, hot heat, taking all that he gave and demanding more. She caught his rhythm and made his body sing her sweet siren’s song.
Kate knew this was the moment she had been born for, and when he suddenly thrust deep inside her, the pain was over before it began. She had lost her virginity, but she only felt blessed relief. Tanner filled her deeply, moving in a way that brought surge after surge of sweet desire. An explosion of heat spread through her veins, bringing an aching that increased with every thrust. Then pleasure grew, becoming so intense that it was almost unbearable. She strove to meet the fevered crest. Then waves rushed through her, sweet shocks rocked her body, flooding her until she was left weak and trembling.
Tanner loved her long and well. If he was asleep he prayed he’d never awaken. Kate already had his heart. Now, in this moment, she’d also claimed not only his body but his soul as well. Passions spiraling, he led her to the crown of the wave and felt her ride it to fulfillment. He felt her stiffen as the tremors of her climax shook her body again and again. Her eyes wide with wonder, she grew still, her gaze locked on his.
His own muscles taut with self-denial, and thinking not to impregnate her, he tried to withdraw.
She cried out in protest and pulled him back. She moved against him. That was his undoing.
Desperate need overriding judgment, he drove into her again and again, until finally he arched, straining against her. He shuddered, his body and his mind crying out her name. He erupted in a mighty burst and spilled into her welcoming womb, flowing on a current as old as time.
Finally, his body spent, he withdrew and collapsed at her side. He gathered her to him and smoothed the damp, dark curls that clung to her face. He gazed at her in wonder. He still couldn’t believe it had really happened. He had known many women, all knowledgeable in the ways of the flesh, but he had never felt such rapture, such a feeling of completion as he’d experienced in the arms of this sweet woman.
She smiled at him, her lips swollen with his kisses. Her breasts rose full and coral-tipped. A sheen of perspiration made her skin glow in the moonlight.
“Are you all right? Did I hurt you?” he asked.
“You didn’t hurt me,” she whispered, snuggling against him. He cradled her tenderly, kissing her forehead, her nose, her cheeks.
She sighed, closed her eyes and immediately went to sleep. * * *
Shortly before dawn Tanner woke, reluctant to let go of the best dream he had ever had. He opened his eyes and glanced around; then, propping himself up on his elbow, he stared at the woman by his side. A fierce joy bubbled inside him. It hadn’t been a dream. He was here, in Kate’s bed, and he had made love to her.
Or rather she had made love to him.
He wasn’t quite certain how it had happened. Nor did he intend to ponder the fact. That would be like questioning a miracle.
He only knew that now she truly belonged to him, and he would never let her go.
He gave thanks that he hadn’t left last night, that he had awakened her so that she could lock the door. And what an awakening.... Just thinking about it make his heart thunder. No halfway measures for Kate. She had given all of herself, as in everything she did. And she had demanded the same of him in return.
As he studied her tousled beauty, he felt a pride of possession, of conquest. He smiled. There would be no more dilly-dallying. He wouldn’t stand for it. They would be married as soon as possible. And while he might have preferred to wait a while before starting a family, last night had pretty much taken care of that. Remembering the intensity of their joining, a quiver of heat surged through him. She could right now be carrying his child. Strangely pleased by the idea, he slid his hand over her flat stomach, imagining he could feel the flutter of a new life inside.
Kate frowned and moaned in her sleep.
When he kissed her, she opened her eyes. “Oh, my.” She met his gaze, then blushed and ducked her head.
“Good morning, darlin’.”
“It really happened? It wasn’t a dream?” she asked in a whisper, drawing the sheet up to her chin.
“No dream.” He kissed her nose, her eyes, then landed on her lips. “You’re mine now. All we have to do is tie the knot.”
She sucked in a breath. “I don’t remember you asking me to marry you.”
“I told you yesterday we were getting married. I only wanted you to decide when. Considering what’s happened, I think it should be right away.” He grinned, then pulled her over on top of him. “Until then...”
She shoved him away. “What I recall of last night was wonderful. But I never said I would marry you. Besides, it isn’t necessary.”
“It damn well is necessary. I could have made you pregnant.” He frowned. “After last night you don’t have any choice, and neither do I.”
“I do have a choice. And I won’t have you marrying me out of some misguided sense of obligation.” She tossed back the covers, then, suddenly aware of her nudity, she snatched up a blanket.
“Obligation?” He reached out and reclaimed the blanket. “If I didn’t want to marry you, I wouldn’t. But you’re right, it is my obligation, and my responsibility. It’s time I lived up to it.”
“See. You admit it.” She drew herself up primly, but considering her state of nudity, it only made her more tempting. She was still arguing when he snagged her arm and pulled her back into the bed. “Talking again. Never fails.” He kissed her mouth, swallowing her furious words. His hands roamed her tense body. “That’s better,” he said when she began to relax.
“Let me up,” she demanded, between kisses.
“Uh-uh.” He fondled her breasts until they were full and heavy, their tips like rosy pebbles. Then his palm slid lower and cupped her womanhood. He watched her eyes widen when he teased her bud of desire.
“Damn you, Tanner.” She closed her eyes, giving in to her passion. His kisses smothering her protests, he continued his ministrations until she rocked against him.
Her hands roamed his back, inflicting pain as she demanded fulfillment.
He brought her to the edge; then, almost mindless with desire himself, he claimed her, using his mastery to make them whole once again. She clutched his shoulders. A keening cry tore from her throat.
He pounded her body, conquering her slick, satiny flesh. This time he didn’t try to withdraw; if anything, he drove even deeper. If that’s what it took, he would get her pregnant, that way she’d have to marry him.
He loved her long and well, holding himself intact until he felt her tremble.
“Tanner. Tanner,” she cried, quivering like a bowstring in his arms.
He cupped her hips, then he, too, strove to reach fulfillment. He plunged one final time, burying himself deep within her, his body pulsating again and again, spilling his life-giving forces.
When it was over and she sagged against him, he withdrew and collapsed by her side. Her breathing evened, and he looked down to see tears on her cheeks. He tenderly wiped them away. “I’m sorry, Kate. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
“You didn’t hurt me, but I don’t want us to do it again,” she said, knowing even as she uttered the words that they were a lie. She did want to do it again and even now, gazing into his steel-gray eyes, she felt herself weakening. She should have been satisfied, but a flicker of
desire sparked again. She determinedly tamped it down before it could flame to life. “I don’t want us to do it again,” she repeated.
“You sure have a funny way of showing it.” He turned and picked up a boot. It was then she noticed his back where her fingernails had raked his flesh.
“Oh, Tanner, I’m sorry.” Her fingertip traced the blood- edged welts. “Does it hurt much?”
“It was worth it.” He raised a brow and grinned. He found his shirt and put it on.
She saw the garment was missing most of its buttons. She pursed her lips and peeked up at him. “Did I do that, too?”
“I’ll lap it over. Nobody will notice.”
“Where are you going?” she asked, noting he sure seemed in a hurry to leave.
“We can’t have everybody thinking you’re a fallen woman. If I get out of here before daylight, no one will be the wiser.”
“Oh.” Fallen woman. She wished he had used a different expression. “It’s a little late to be thinking of my reputation.”
“Better late than never,” he said, kissing her as he retrieved his other boot.
When he was fully dressed, he grabbed his hat and walked back to the bed. Even needing a shave, his hair uncombed, and his shirt lapped over his middle, he took her breath away. He bent and gave her a kiss. “Better lock the door behind me, then go back to sleep. I’ll try to come back later.”
After he had left, she stared at the pale star-speckled sky. Fallen woman. She was that and more. She had willingly surrendered her virginity. She couldn’t blame him for taking what was offered, especially when she’d practically attacked him. Still, it was no reason to get married. She frowned, thinking about that marriage business. Tanner had admitted he would be marrying her because he considered himself obligated, responsible. He’d feel even more so now that she might be carrying his child.
What if she did say yes? Would he still feel the same if it turned out she wasn’t pregnant? Would he change his mind when it was time for the ceremony? And if she was pregnant, would he resent her and the child later on? She didn’t know what to think, what to believe.
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