by Cara Marsi
“So that’s it.” The quiet calmness of his voice damned her more than shouts. “I’ve never been more than a temporary diversion to you.”
“That’s not true,” she whispered. “I loved you. I....” She stopped herself before she blurted that she loved him now.
“Do you really know what love is?” His gaze raked her. “You have no problem giving your body to me, but I’m not worth bothering with on any other level.”
Fury and pain pierced her like a carpenter’s awl. “How dare you talk to me like that?”
He released a breath. “I’m sorry. I was out of line.” Sadness creased his features. “I just want to be in my son’s life.”
“How do I know you’ll be around for him?”
“Trust me. Damn it, just trust me.”
Could she trust him? Maybe she should ask him to stay. What if he said no? Could she take that chance? Her insides shook. “I can’t.”
“You can’t trust me?” Steel hardened his voice.
She shook her head. “No, that’s not it.”
“Then what is it, Dorie?”
Words dried in her throat. He had to want her enough to never leave again. She wouldn’t beg.
“Damn you,” he said in a thick whisper.
He pulled her to him and took her lips in a bruising kiss. She held herself tight, resisting his pull. His relentless lips demanded her surrender. She could no more fight him than she could stop breathing. And she loved him. She twisted her arms around his neck and urged his lips apart with her tongue.
He let out a low groan. His lips softened against hers and he opened his mouth for her. He tasted like cinnamon coffee and mint. She pressed closer. He might leave and break her heart. But he belonged to her now.
They slid to the floor together. He leaned over her, his eyes dark and mysterious in the soft Christmas lights. His unique scent of male and citrus mingled with the pine of the tree. Those scents would forever remind her of Logan.
She wrapped her arms around him and pulled him down. Molding her body to his, she kissed him with all the love and hope she couldn’t voice. His taut frame covered her. The urgency of his mouth and tongue excited her to a new wildness. She would love him tonight with all she had to give.
His mouth plundered hers while his hands wandered down her body, massaging, stroking, driving her crazy with want. Her soft cries filled the quiet room.
He leaned on his elbows and looked down at her. Desire darkened his eyes, but something else stirred deep in the gold-flecked depths, something that reached out to the longings in her soul. “Love me tonight, Logan,” she whispered.
“God help me, but I need you.” He undressed her and flung her clothes aside. His own quickly followed.
She lay down again and held her arms out to him. He lowered himself on top of her. His flesh burned her heated skin. The wool of the Oriental rug pressed into her bare back. The slight pain intensified her passion for him.
“Now,” she whispered. She wrapped her hand around his hard penis and guided him to her. He entered her, taking her with a possessiveness that inflamed her. Arching her hips against his, she molded her body to his. She belonged to Logan. Only this moment mattered. She met his every hard thrust, urging him with her body to make her his forever. She barely recognized the sound of her voice crying out his name.
He cupped her bottom, lifting her to meet him, driving deeper and deeper into her.
Her climax erupted, fast and furious, like a shower of dazzling stars, shooting her into the sky. The lights from the tree overhead blurred and danced before her eyes.
Logan shuddered with his own climax. She clung to him, running her hands over his muscled back, reveling in his heat and masculinity.
He collapsed on top of her. The fragrance of pine joined with the musk of their lovemaking.
She wound her arms around Logan’s neck and closed her eyes. She would sear this moment onto her brain.
* * * *
Doriana stood at the kitchen window and sipped coffee, inhaling the sweet vanilla almond scent. The first rays of sunlight teased through the curtains and danced on the stainless steel appliances. It promised to be a perfect Christmas day.
Her body thrummed with a new awareness. After their frenzied lovemaking under the tree, Logan had carried her to bed and made love to her slowly. Several times. She gripped the mug, remembering just how thoroughly he’d loved her.
For the first time ever she spent the night in the arms of the man she loved. She smiled, picturing Logan asleep in her bed, eyes closed and long lashes fanned against high cheekbones. He looked young and untouched by life’s cares. And very virile, even in sleep.
Their lovemaking had had a bittersweet quality. Was Logan trying to tell her that he would leave soon? Tears threatened and she brushed them away. She couldn’t lose him again. Maybe she should forget her pride and her fear and ask Logan to stay.
How did Josh feel about Logan and did he want Logan in his life? Despite her love for Logan and her despair at the thought of his leaving, Josh’s welfare came first.
The sound of bare feet on tile pulled her from her confused thoughts. Her pulse quickened. Logan’s heat reached out to her before he touched her.
He wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her against him. “Come back to bed,” he whispered in her ear.
She leaned into him. Her perfume scented him, evidence of their lovemaking. Desire pulled low in her stomach.
“Do you want coffee?” she asked. “Or don’t you have that addiction?”
“I want you,” he rasped. “You’re my addiction.” He slipped his hands inside her robe and massaged her breasts. Her nipples, tender from their lovemaking, pebbled in response. The silk of her robe brushed against her body like a sensual whisper. The coffee mug slid out of her hand to land on the floor. Her body felt as liquid and hot as the coffee that splashed onto the tile.
“We have to go to my parents for breakfast,” she said.
His hands trailed a path down her stomach. He caressed her mound. She felt the wet rush of arousal between her thighs and moaned.
“It’s early,” he said. “I haven’t finished giving you your Christmas gift.” Pressing her close, he slid fingers inside her.
Her body quivered at his touch and the promise of sensual pleasure. “I like your gifts,” she whispered.
* * * *
Late afternoon shadows pearled the room and wrapped around Logan and Doriana as they reclined in her bed watching a classic Christmas movie. Logan wished their sensual isolation could last forever, but the outside world would soon intrude. They had to deal with her parents’ giving Josh a car. But not now.
He and Doriana had spent most of Christmas at her parents’ and had come home late last night, too tired to do more than fall asleep in each other’s arms. He smiled. They’d made up for that today. Lucky for them, Josh had begged to stay at his grandparents a few more days.
Doriana snuggled closer. Her soft skin, smooth and hot, stirred desire in him. He kissed the top of her head. “We’ve spent all day making love and I want you again.”
She laughed, a low throaty sound, and wiggled her naked body against his.
He groaned. “Don’t do that.”
She looked up at him with a seductive smile. “This is our time, Logan. We never had this before. And Josh will be home tomorrow.”
He kissed her lightly on the lips and trailed fingers slowly over her breast. “You are one insatiable woman.”
“I’m making up for lost time,” she whispered.
The look in her eyes provoked a craving deep inside him. He needed so much more than her body. What did she want from him?
“Let’s not waste time talking,” he rasped.
Much later, Logan lay in bed and stared at the ceiling. The dim light from the bedside lamp lent a rosy glow to the room. Doriana dozed beside him, her warm body curled against his.
Thoughts tripped all over his mind like green Army recruits on maneuvers.
He and Doriana had laughed and talked and made hot, sweet love over the last two days. But neither of them mentioned a future together or his need to be part of Josh’s life. Or the matter of Josh’s car. The unresolved issues hung over them like a vengeful enemy ready to snatch their happiness.
Logan raised himself on his elbows and looked down at her. Silky black hair spread over the pillow. Her full lips were swollen from his kisses. Could he give her up again? Hell no! Sadness and frustration stabbed him with the force of a bayonet. If Doriana loved him, she wouldn’t hesitate to ask him to share her life and Josh’s. But she hadn’t asked.
Time was running out. This assignment would be over soon. He’d promised Dan secrecy, but he wanted Doriana to know the truth. He couldn’t wait any longer, hoping she would accept him for himself and not for the success he’d become.
He’d take her on whatever terms he could get her. Doriana and Josh were his family. He’d do right by them. And if she didn’t want him, at least he’d have his son. Damn it! He wanted her too. How had he spent the last sixteen years without her? He’d tell her the truth tomorrow, in the light of day when he could think clearly.
The shrill sound of the phone disrupted the quiet. Doriana stirred. Stomach tightening, Logan reached across her and grabbed the cordless on the bedside table. Was it the nursing home calling to say that his father’s death was imminent? He’d been expecting that call for days now.
“Tanner here,” he said.
“Oh, thank God you’re home.” Lena Callahan’s near-hysterical voice hit him like ice water.
He sat straighter. “What’s wrong?”
“He’s gone,” she said. “It’s been hours.”
“Calm down, Lena. Who’s gone?” The lump in his throat told him that he already knew the answer.
Doriana jerked awake. She sat up and clutched the sheets to her chest, staring at him with wide, frightened eyes.
“Josh is missing,” Lena said. “For hours. He won’t answer his cell.”
Fear punched Logan in the gut. “Josh is missing?”
Doriana’s face drained of color. “Josh? Gone?” She grabbed for the phone.
Logan shook his head and put his hand out, stopping her.
“Lena, tell me everything,” he said. He listened intently to Lena’s nervous voice. Doriana stared at him, chewing her lip and twisting the bed sheets between her fingers.
According to Lena, Josh had been acting secretive all day, spending most of his time on his phone. A few hours ago they heard him go out. When they checked the garage they found that his new car was missing. His grandfather was out now looking for him. Lena ended her story on a strangled sob.
“Josh probably wanted to take his new car out for a spin,” Logan said. “He’ll be back soon and everything will be okay.”
He kept his voice low and smooth, trying to settle Lena. The quiver in his stomach belied the calmness of his words. “Call us as soon as you hear something. Doriana and I will start phoning his friends.” He replaced the receiver and looked at Doriana.
She grabbed his arm. “What happened? Where’s Josh?”
He gathered her close and stroked her hair. “Josh left your parents’ house a few hours ago. Your father is out looking for him.”
Doriana pushed away from him. “He’s driving that car. He has only a learner’s permit.”
“Dorie, he’s sixteen years old. And he has a hot car.”
Tears glistened in her eyes. “That damn car. Things were going too well with Josh. He was just waiting for the right time.”
Logan took her chin between his fingers. “We’ll find him. I promise.”
* * * *
Doriana clutched the mug of chamomile tea that Logan had insisted she drink. She took small sips. Anxiety clenched her stomach muscles until they hurt. Hours had passed since the phone call from her mother. And still no Josh. Lena reported that Dan had come home, defeated.
Logan paced the kitchen, running his fingers through his hair. Lines of tension bracketed his mouth. They’d called all of Josh’s friends. If any of them knew where Josh was, they weren’t talking. Logan’s contact at the police department promised to help.
Logan stopped in front of her. “I’m phoning Steven again. He’s hiding something.”
Doriana shook her head. “We’ve spoken to him twice.”
Determination tightened Logan’s features. “I’m calling again.”
He reached for the phone. It rang before he touched it. Doriana and Logan stared at each other. Her heart thudded and her hand shook so hard she couldn’t hold the ceramic mug. She set it on the counter.
Logan grabbed the phone. “Yes?” The word, clipped and hard, shot into the mouthpiece. He stiffened. “This is Josh’s father.”
Doriana stopped breathing.
“How serious?” Logan asked at last. “Which hospital?”
Doriana clutched the counter edge. “Hospital?”
He hung up the phone and looked at her with raw fear.
“Josh is dead, isn’t he?” She sank to the floor.
“No, Dorie, no.” He knelt beside her and cradled her in his arms. “Josh is hurt. He had a car accident. That was the police on the phone.”
Tears spilled from her eyes. “That damn car. I told my parents. If Josh dies, I’ll never forgive them.”
“There’s no time for that,” he said, pulling her up. “Let’s get to the hospital.”
* * * *
Doriana and Logan ran through the double doors of the hospital emergency room. Doriana’s head throbbed. Every nerve in her body seemed to scream out her anguish.
“Josh Callahan,” Logan shouted to the desk clerk.
The clerk barely glanced at them and typed a few keys on her computer.
“Hurry up,” Doriana said, pounding her fist on the desk. “I want my son.”
A nurse wearing green hospital scrubs walked up to them. “I know where he is. Follow me.”
They hurried after the woman. Doriana clung to Logan and ran with him through the halls. Her heels clicked on the hard floor, echoing the rat-a-tat of her heart. The strong odors of antiseptic and blood made her gag. The beds lined up in the hallways and the other people milling about passed by in a colorful collage.
The nurse stopped in front of a small curtained room and pulled aside the drapes, motioning them in.
Josh lay on a bed, eyes closed. Blood and dirt clung to his face and his skin glowed deathly white. Tubes were hooked up to his arm and one pale foot peeked out from the sheet. His other leg was bloodied and bent at an unnatural angle. The jeans on the bloodied leg were ripped open.
Doriana burst into tears and sagged against Logan. He grabbed her, breaking her fall. Holding onto each other, they approached the bed.
Doriana looked down at her son, his beautiful face marred by scratches and cuts. One eye was swollen shut. “My baby,” she choked out. Sobbing, she touched his face. His fevered heat burned her fingers. Her tears spilled onto the bed.
Josh opened his good eye slowly. He blinked and turned toward them.
“Mom,” he whispered.
He looked over at Logan and managed a thin smile. “Dad.”
~~~~
CHAPTER TWENTY
Doriana jerked upright. The hard back of a chair pressed against aching muscles. She blinked, trying to focus sleep-filled eyes. The glare of sunlight on stark white walls and the harsh odor of industrial cleaner made her eyes water. A faint beeping sound came from somewhere, bringing her fully awake. Panic seized her, tightening her chest. Her gaze swung to the still body on the bed.
Josh! Her baby! She jumped up, almost knocking over the chair where she’d spent the night. It teetered on the wood floor before settling back down.
Rubbing her eyes, she walked toward the bed. Josh slept, his breathing even. Thank God. She took one of his pale hands in hers and stroked the soft, dry skin. Bags sending fluid through his body were hooked up to one arm and machines monitored his vital signs.
She brushed hair back from his face. He felt hot. The doctors had warned he might have a slight temperature for a few days. At least they’d cleaned the blood and dirt from his face. Despite his cuts and bruises and a black eye, Josh looked so like Logan with long lashes shadowing high, chiseled cheekbones. Her heart lurched. She’d been wrong to think she could keep father and son apart.
She glanced at Josh’s leg, wrapped in a cast. The doctors had operated on his broken leg late last night. Because of the severity of the break and a concussion, they’d kept him overnight.
She shifted her attention to the other chair in the room. Empty now. She and Logan had kept vigil at their son’s bedside. She smiled, remembering the new closeness that bound them. Sleep had been next to impossible. Only total exhaustion had allowed her to drift off just as dawn broke. She wondered if Logan had gotten any sleep.
Leaning over, she kissed Josh’s forehead. “What were you thinking?” she whispered. “Drag racing and driving without a license?” His soft breathing was her only response. Thank God he would be okay. She’d worry about punishing him later. She rubbed a hand over Josh’s shoulder. Not getting his driver’s license for a long time might be punishment enough.
“You’re awake.” Logan’s low voice touched her like a caress. She turned and smiled at him. Lines of fatigue creased his eyes and mouth. He looked as tired as she felt.
“I brought you coffee.” He handed her a Styrofoam cup.
“Thanks.” She sipped the strong, hot brew. The liquid coursed through her body, making her feel more alert.
Logan put an arm around her shoulders and drew her close. “I know coffee is one of your addictions.”
She laughed softly. “I’ve found a new addiction.” She leaned against his strong body, drawing his energy and comfort.
Logan kissed the top of her head. “How’s our boy?”
“Sleeping,” she said.
“No, I’m not.”
Doriana jumped at the sound of Josh’s weak voice. Coffee splashed out of the cup, burning her hand. She didn’t mind the pain. Josh would be all right and Logan was at her side. Nothing else mattered.
