The music got louder as the evening progressed. Hot Head sang Rudi’s favourite song, ‘Lose it’.
Lose your pain!
Lose your fear!
Stand strong
Intentions clear!
Never doubt, never dread
For those secret worries
Are only in your head.
Rudi sang every word with the band. He tried to enjoy the evening. But it wasn’t that easy.
He wished Steven and Lizz were there with him now. They always had a great time together.
That had all changed when Marco came along.
He wondered what Steven and Marco were up to.
And he wondered about Lizz. Was she even at the concert?
Rudi decided to go look for her.
There were so many kids around.
Empty glasses lay everywhere. The plastic cracked below his sneakers.
‘You’re the Vidiots’ cameraman, aren’t you?’ one of the girls asked Rudi. ‘I heard you’re going to do something wild tonight. Please tell us what!’
‘I don’t know,’ said Rudi in passing.
‘Just give us a clue!’ she cried after him.
Rudi didn’t pay her any mind.
That’s when he saw Lizz.
She was with Marco.
They were in each other’s arms.
Kissing …
Embrace your pain
Rudi’s life felt like it was coming to an end. His chest was almost tearing open.
Lose your pain! Again he heard Hot Head’s words.
They didn’t know what they were talking about. One can’t simply lose one’s pain.
It stays with you.
Perhaps even for always.
Rudi’s lip started trembling. He bit down on it. He wasn’t going to stand there and cry – even though he wanted to.
Embrace your pain!
Embrace your fear!
You’re as weak
As you appear!
He changed the words to Hot Head’s song to suit him.
For one last time he gazed back at Lizz. He still couldn’t believe it. They looked like they were going to swallow each other.
He turned around.
Embrace your pain!
The anger still brewed inside him.
Embrace your fear!
He wished he could do something to Marco. He wanted to hurt him. But that was all talk. He wasn’t that kind of guy.
Maybe, he thought, it was time for a change. Perhaps he should become that kind of guy …
Always doubt, always dread
For those secret worries
Are not only in your head.
Rudi sang the words over and over.
Would he be able to do it? Would he be able to put Marco in his place?
He was still thinking about it when he heard Marco. His voice was coming from the stage. It thundered through the speakers and carried across the field.
‘Hey, guys and girls. Tonight is a very special night.’
Ignore him, thought Rudi. Keep walking. Just get away.
‘We’ve got a live Vidiots show for you. Steven is here tonight.’ A bunch of girls screamed. ‘And he is beyond crazy!’
Rudi slowed down.
‘Unfortunately our cameraman deserted us. But you all have mobile phones, right?’ A bunch of guys whistled. Girls cheered. ‘Tonight you are going to shoot the videos. And you are going to upload them to YouTube!’
Rudi stopped. What was Marco doing?
‘You’ve heard of stage diving, right?’ asked Marco.
‘YES!’ everybody screamed.
‘The Vidiots will be taking it a step further tonight … Now, please turn your attention, and your cameras, to Steven!’
Rudi turned around.
His heart missed a beat.
His eyes followed Marco’s pointing hand to the stage rigging. And right on top of it, high above the stage, was Steven. He stood there, arms stretched out to the side.
He was getting ready to jump …
Jump! Jump! Jump!
Rudi’s body turned cold.
‘No!’ he whispered. Then louder: ‘No! Steven, are you mad?’
Rudi went into action. Moving back to the stage.
The voices in the crowd rose above the music.
Mobile phone screens shone everywhere. Ready to record Steven’s dive.
Perhaps his death …
Fear filled every corner of Rudi’s body.
It was yet another one of Marco’s plans. He didn’t care for anybody. That’s why he came up with this stuff. It was all just one big joke to him.
But Steven was Rudi’s pal. He had to stop him.
‘Jump, jump, jump,’ cried the guys and girls.
‘No!’ Rudi shouted again. ‘Steven, get off there!’
But Steven would not be able to hear him above the noise.
Rudi watched as Steven shifted his gaze downwards. His body leaned forward gently. Then back. He wiped his hands on his trousers. A spotlight wiped over him.
Some of the teachers also tried getting him down now.
Rudi forced his way through the crowd.
They jostled against him. Bumped into him.
Mobile phone cameras were everywhere.
‘Steven, get down!’
Rudi didn’t know if Steven saw him. For a second it seemed like he did. But from up there he was probably just one in a sea of faces.
‘Steven! Don’t be stupid!’ cried Rudi.
Then it seemed as if Steven’s knees buckled. He’s going to do it now, Rudi thought. This is his moment of glory.
It was as if Marco had hypnotised him. Marco made him believe in a dream of endless girls. Every one of them wanting him.
Rudi tried crying out again, but his voice stuck in his throat.
Suddenly Steven was on all fours on the rigging.
He had lost his nerve.
His eyes moved across the crowd below him.
‘Boo!’ the kids now shouted. ‘Boo!’
Rudi heard guys saying words like:
‘Quitter!’
‘Coward!’
‘Chicken!’
But he didn’t care.
Relieved, he watched as Steven made his way down the rigging. His hands seemed to tremble.
At last he was safely back on stage. He seemed confused.
Marco watched him with contempt. He spat on the ground before Steven.
Steven tucked at his white T-shirt. He stared at the crowd. They were still booing.
He dropped his head with embarrassment.
The cameras were still on him. Hundreds of them.
Rudi hurt inside. Steven looked so lost. It was his so-called friends jeering him. The girls who were supposed to like him.
As if spurred on by the noise, Steven raised his head. He was suddenly brimming with life again.
He gave a silly laugh.
Then he dashed off. Heading to the edge of the stage.
He launched himself at the crowd. It was a desperate leap. His body stretched out. He threw himself at the mercy of the onlookers.
They had to catch him, carry him on their hands.
That is how stage diving works.
But the guys and girls just stepped away.
Steven dropped like a sack of potatoes at their feet.
The power of words
The following day Rudi wandered around at home like a zombie.
He was glad the night was over. He never wanted to relive it again.
He thought about Steven. He wanted to send him a text.
Phoning him would actually be best. But he wouldn’t know what to say.
The whole experience left a bad taste in his mouth.
He hoped Steven had learned his lesson.
Marco was a … well, a snake. He used people.
HI BUDDY, HOW ARE YOU TODAY?
Rudi sighed. He didn’t finish typing. Instead he deleted the message before sending it.
&
nbsp; ‘Talk to the guy,’ he said to himself.
He searched for Steven’s number and phoned.
‘Hi, buddy …’
‘Hi, Rudi.’ Steven’s voice was dark.
‘I phoned to find out … uhm …’ Rudi stuttered. ‘Are … you okay?’
Of course not! Jeez, Rudi, are you as stupid as mud? he told himself off.
‘I’ll probably live,’ Steven answered.
‘Wow, you sound a bit down.’
‘Oh, well.’
Rudi’s grip around the mobile phone felt cold. He should’ve sent a text instead. It would’ve avoided this terrible silence.
‘So, what are you up to?’
‘Lying about. Thinking. You know …’ Steven sighed.
Rudi felt more uncomfortable. He wished he could say something that would cheer Steven up. He didn’t exactly know what. Anything. But even before he could say something, Steven started talking.
‘Did you see the videos, Rudi?’
‘No …’
‘You should see what they’re saying about me …’
The words were like ice water falling over Rudi.
‘Is it … bad?’
‘Go see for yourself …’
The conversation had reached its end.
Rudi ended the call. He quickly went onto YouTube, searching for the Vidiots videos.
There were tons of them. Of course the first ones, he had shot. The fire-crackers, the mousetraps, the snake …
But most of them were of last night.
Rudi held his breath. He didn’t really want to watch them. It would force him to relive the evening.
But he knew he had to watch.
He felt sick after seeing the first video in the list.
Steven, the Loser! read the heading.
The shaking image showed Steven high above the stage.
The camera zoomed in, then out.
Steven’s face was terror struck. Eventually he climbed back down, shaking. Uncertain of himself, he hung around on the stage. Then came the desperate stage dive …
The people laughing.
‘Lame-O!’ a voice shouted.
‘Hammer head!’ cried another one.
Rudi stopped the video. He didn’t want to hear the other remarks. But then his eyes fell on the comments below the video.
‘The Vidiot dropped like a fly.’
‘Perhaps he should keep to setting off fire-crackers.’
‘The idiot cracked me up.’
‘No more bad TV programs for you. It rots your brain, old Steven.’
‘Pathetic!’
‘Poor old stick!’
‘How the mighty fall.’
‘Ouch! Hope he didn’t land on a mouse trap.’
‘Why did the Vidiot run screaming from a haunted house? He was a scaredy pants!’
Rudi closed the screen.
There were more comments.
But he had seen enough.
Revenge is sweeter when the blood flows
Rudi was furious. Nobody treated his pal this badly.
He wanted to kill Marco!
If he could only get his hands on him …
Marco wasn’t a snake – he was lower than a snake.
Rudi phoned Lizz: ‘Do you know where he is?’
‘Who?’
‘Marco, Lizz!’
‘I don’t know, Rudi. He goes to the gym in the afternoon …’
Rudi ended the call. That was all he needed to hear.
His blood was boiling.
Lizz was spot on. Rudi caught up with him in front of the gym. He was just leaving.
Determined, Rudi approached Marco.
Marco raised his head. Frowned.
‘Do you know what you did?’ Rudi shouted. He pushed against Marco’s shoulder.
‘Hey, dude. Chill! What’s up with you?’ asked Marco.
‘I’ll show you!’ Rudi grabbed Marco’s helmet from his hands. He tossed it aside. The gym bag too.
Rudi’s hand curled up into a fist.
‘It’s about time somebody rearranged your face,’ growled Rudi. His attitude was threatening.
Marco pulled back his shoulders. He puffed his chest out. The corner of his mouth curled into a smile.
‘And are you going to try, Rudi? Won’t you get SCARED? I might hit back, dude.’
‘Pig!’ Rudi pulled his fist past his shoulder. His fingers were curled up tightly.
It was as if something inside him erupted. A volcano of anger.
The blow struck the side of Marco’s head.
The pain shot through Rudi’s fingers. Marco was seemingly hurt too.
But not enough.
He grabbed Rudi’s shirt front. Pulled him closer. Rudi stared right into his fist. The white knuckles.
It came closer. He tried to pull away but the blow struck him against the eye.
He felt the skin tear. Then the blood came. It ran into his eyes.
Another blow hit him hard.
Rudi swore. He began striking back wildly. The volcano’s fire flared high inside him. His fists felt numb from all the blows. His knee bore into Marco’s ribs.
‘And this one is for Lizz!’ cried Rudi, delivering another one. ‘I know you’re going to hurt her as well!’
‘Lizz? What do I care about her?’ hissed Marco. ‘There are loads of girls out there. I can get any one of them.’
‘But not her!’
Rudi’s knee struck Marco in the stomach. Marco groaned.
Rudi pushed him to the floor. Marco was under his feet. Rudi aimed a kick, but a hand grabbed him.
‘Stop it!’ the security officer cried. More people stormed out of the gym. ‘Stop!’
Through bloodied vision Rudi stared at the people. The security officer pushed Rudi and Marco apart.
Rudi’s T-shirt was covered in blood.
He didn’t care.
He would’ve done it again for Steven.
And for Lizz.
War wounds
That evening Rudi looked in the bathroom mirror. His fingers gently touched the cut above his eye.
Ouch!
It still hurt.
One of his teeth felt loose too. He tried it. Yes, definitely loose. He considered pulling the tooth. He could just get a good grip on it …
No, he shivered. Not now.
Rudi stretched his back. His whole body felt stiff.
He wasn’t a fighter. Every cell in his body knew it.
He wasn’t used to this at all.
But he was glad he’d done it.
He’d had to!
He sat down on the edge of the bath and phoned Lizz.
She didn’t answer.
Strange. Lizz always answered her mobile phone.
Later, in his bedroom, he tried again. There was still no answer.
Was it because he’d ended their other, earlier call abruptly? Perhaps he had been a bit cold with her.
Or was it because of Marco?
Rudi didn’t have to wonder much longer.
His phone beeped.
I NEVER WANT TO TALK TO YOU AGAIN. YOU WENT TOO FAR TODAY.
It was about Marco.
Jeez, he just didn’t understand girls. He thought about calling her. Yelling at her:
Can’t you see, Liz? Marco is rubbish. Please open your eyes.
But Rudi didn’t. He only texted back.
THINK AGAIN. MARCO SAYS THERE ARE MANY GIRLS LIKE YOU. HE COULD HAVE ANY ONE OF THEM.
Rudi lay on his bed.
He waited for a reply from Liz.
It didn’t come.
A fist in the stomach
Monday morning. Rudi’s bag was tight on his shoulder as he entered the school yard.
The stage was still set up on the rugby field. They will probably pull it down later today, he thought.
He dropped his bag at the English class. He looked the other bags over. Lizz and Steven’s bags were already there. But they weren’t.
His eyes moved acro
ss to the other kids.
He heard somebody talking about Zombie. The rock band. And Saturday evening.
Apparently the band had sung a few controversial songs.
The head master wasn’t happy.
A few of the other guys were discussing the Vidiots.
That too had put the head master in a rage.
Rudi didn’t follow the whole conversation. He was tired of it. It was a thing of the past.
Near the school hall he saw Lizz standing with Steven. Lizz had her arm around his shoulder. She was having a serious discussion with Steven. Every now and again he shook his head.
It felt like a fist had settled in Rudi’s stomach.
Was Steven crying?
He still wasn’t over those videos. And the terrible comments.
Who wants to be called a loser?
Steven wasn’t a loser. Rudi knew it. He’d only done some stupid stuff to impress the girls.
Rudi stepped closer. But before he could reach them, Steven wiped off the tears and strode away.
Lizz dropped her arms helplessly.
Then she saw Rudi watching her.
Her eyes were void of emotion.
With lowered head, she walked off.
Rudi didn’t know who to follow.
Steven? Or Lizz?
Or neither?
He decided on the last option.
The worry, however, remained.
He went back to the English class and found a seat at the front.
Deep in thought, he dug his prescribed book out of his bag. They were to write a test that morning and he hadn’t studied for it.
He scanned the page.
But his thoughts were elsewhere.
Just as the bell was about to ring, something yanked Rudi out of his daydream.
It was a voice.
‘Come check it out!’ the guy cried. ‘The Vidiot’s going to attempt another jump!’
The smell of blood
No! The sound screamed inside Rudi.
A few guys pushed off in the direction of the voice.
Rudi knew he should follow them, but he was scared. What would he find when he got there?
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