"Now why couldn't Princess Diana have treated her chauffeurs like that, they crash, you shoot them. Simples." Says Tommy Rae.
But Daz doesn't answer, he's busy copying Jane's shooting stance, including the height of the gun when she pulled the trigger. Still holding the stance, Daz slowly turns his head and looks at Tommy Rae.
"Tom."
"What?"
"They were head shots. That driver is one dead duck."
Tommy Rae looks at the tiny handgun in the palm of his hand. Jane takes the tartan bag from the car and walks towards the guesthouse.
"That is Janey isn't it? We have got the right house haven't we?" Asks Tommy Rae as he puts a small pair of glasses on and squints. Rajeev and Amir come out from behind bushes. Rajeev keeps pointing to the tartan bag. Jane is shaking her head no. Tommy Rae watches as Jane gives him two packets of something from the bag. Rajeev wants more, and grabs the bag and hurriedly walks towards the exit with it.
"Cheeky fuckers, they're nicking her bag Tom."
Tommy Rae is about to tell Daz to intervene, when Jane raises Clint and points it at Rajeev and calls out 'stop or I'll shoot' he continues to walk out of the grounds. Jane shoots him twice in the back. Keeping Amir at bay with Clint, she walks forward and reclaims the bag. She throws two more packets of money on Rajeev's blood-soaked back, and walks away with it.
"Daz? Asks Tommy quietly. "Could you just confirm to me, that Janey, my lovely Janey, who bakes me cakes and actually likes me, is shooting everyone in fucking sight, and I'm not just going nuts?"
Jane senses she is being watched, and stops, but doesn't look over. Tommy Rae and Daz both realise she knows someone is watching her.
"I think we should come back on Wednesday Daz, as planned. What do you think?" Asks Tommy Rae.
"Yeah, and maybe with something a little bit bigger than that fucking cap gun of yours."
Now that wasn't said to make fun at the size of Tommy Rae's small gun, because Daz wouldn't do that. It was said because of the size of Jane's very big gun, but, telling a crime-lord that he's playing with a kid's cap-gun, which is how Tommy Rae heard it, makes him cut Daz to the quick.
"I'm gonna pretend I didn't hear that… Dougal."
There are just a handful of people in the whole wide world that know Daz's real name is Dougal. Tracey his younger sister. Kathy his older sister. Peggy his mother. Bernard his hated dead father, and Tommy Rae. Out of those, only two of them would ever call him it to his face, and remain conscious. Jane slowly looks over at them both, and holds them with her eyes.
"Fuck, she's seen us." Tommy Rae says under his breath. "She's obviously having her period, and a woman having her period holding a .44 isn't good. Do you feel lucky Dougal? Well, do ya Doogee?"
Tommy Rae could fit inside Daz's pocket. Daz could kill Tommy Rae with a flick of a finger. But there are rules in the underworld. Unwritten rules. Rules that allow a weak effeminate five foot four man like Tommy Rae Webster, to say whatever the hell he likes to a colossal gladiator like Daz, and get away with it. There are thousands of Tommy Rae's in the underworld, and there are thousands of Daz's too. If one of the thousands of Daz's ever raised a hand to one of the thousands of Tommy Rae's, the other thousands of Tommy Rae's would get to hear of it, and Daz's death would be filmed and past around amongst them. That's not a film you'd want to watch. Not because of its horrific content, but because you'd need to set aside at least four to six hours to watch it. These films exist. Tommy has seen two. Daz has seen four. Power has nothing to do with size or strength.
"Only I fucking don't. I think our lucks well and truly up the Swanee, don't you? So get me out of here." He whispers through gritted teeth. Tommy Rae stands by the car door and raises his eyebrows at Daz because he thinks he's taking a fraction of a second too long to respond to his demand. Tommy Rae is confident with the knowledge that Daz has a comprehensive grasp of the said 'Rules' especially has he knows that Daz has watched those four films. Kenny Butler. Every bone in his body broken by a baseball bat before the final blow to his head ended his five hour agonising ordeal. Stormy Steve Milligan. Drowned. Revived. Drowned. Revived. Drowned. Revived. The man drowned forty-one times before they decided not to revive him anymore. Ricky Ponds. Told to drink acid, or, his wife and children would be killed. He drank the acid. He took two hours to die. Daz cried at that one. He liked Ricky. Conner O'Neil. Dug his own grave. Told to slit his own throat. He did. While the blood was pumping from his jugular vein, he was told to get into the grave. Bobby Ore, Ray Chandler, Alex Long, Colin Matheson, and Tommy Rae Webster, all shovelled earth over the still alive Conner. Tommy Rae knows Daz will open the door for him; even if it is a fraction of a second longer than usual. Daz opens it. Tommy Rae gets into the car, and Daz shuts it ever so slightly harder than was necessary. Daz gets into the front, starts the engine and pulls off. They've only driven five yards when Tommy Rae puts a hand on Daz's shoulder bringing the car to a halt. Daz isn't sure why, but he looks in the rear view mirror and sees Tommy Rae looking intently to his left. Daz looks to his left. Amir is on the ground gently rocking back and forth with his hands on Rajeev's back. Rajeev suddenly draws breath and sits up.
"Umm. Now that's interesting isn't it Daz?"
Daz doesn't need any more than 'Umm now that's interesting isn't it Daz? To know he should get out the car, knock Rajeev and Amir unconscious, tie them, gag them, and throw them in the boot. From Daz's car door opening to the Bentley's boot closing takes exactly fifty one seconds. Daz sits back in his seat.
"I'm gonna call that little thorn-in-the-side brother of mine, and tell him we're quits. I see great potential here Daz." And with that accentuated Daz, instead of the irreverent Dougal, things return to normal; well almost. Tommy Rae just needs to reiterate his status in this relationship by mentioning the 'D' word, one more time.
"Sorry about the… Dougal thing. Daz."
Daz just pulls his usual bulldog-pissed-off-face.
Jane falls to her knees sobbing and looks lovingly at her darling Ken, lying dead on the floor.
"I knew you wouldn't go off with that good-for-nothing." Says Larry, as he manages to remove 'Clint' from her hand without her noticing. She runs her hands over Ken's forehead. More sobbing. Strokes his hair and contemplates life without him. Sobs some more. She's thinking about the baby they'll never have now. More sobbing. She falls on his chest. She doesn't want to be without him. She wants him back. Suddenly she stops sobbing. She puts her hand into Ken's jacket and pulls out his mobile phone. Even though she can see a silver bullet lodged in the screen, she still pulls a puzzled face. They both jump out of their skin as a distorted 'Tubular Bells' plays on the phone. Tommy Rae is calling the 'Thorn in his side' Jane looks at Larry and then at the mobile and then at Ken.
"Larry." She says slowly "I don't think he's dead you know."
The mobile stops. Silence. They both look at each other.
Ken groans, which makes the pair of them jump out of their skins for a second time, only this time it hurt.
Larry shouts at Jane. "Quick, sit him up, prop his head up."
She lifts Ken's head.
"It's me Ken." She says loudly. "Can you hear me love?" Ken begins to come round. Larry moves Jane aside and punches Ken square on the chin. Jane gasps and drops his head which smashes back to the ground.
"What the hell?" She screams.
"Call Gus" Says Larry.
"Call what?"
"Gus."
"Gus the vet?"
"Yes Gus the vet, and hurry up."
"We don't need Gus, the bullet didn't hit him." She picks up the mobile. "It's in the phone, it didn't touch him. Look."
Ken makes another groan. Larry instantly punches him on the chin again.
"What the fuck are you doing?" Jane screams at him.
Larry grabs Jane hard around the throat. She's helpless and knows it. She's looking at a man that could easily snap her neck, and it's weak feeble Larry that she's looking at. He squeezes harder around her n
eck with a look in his eyes she's never seen before. Jane has lived in this underworld since she was a fresh faced tomboy, and knows the look of a man that means business. She's seen hundreds of them. A man you don't question. A man that you just say, yes to. And even though she sees Larry, she's seeing another Larry, a Larry that means business, a Larry you just say, yes to. Her eyes let Larry know that he can let her go now and she'll call Gus. He lets her go and she runs into the house. Larry rubs his forehead and looks down at Ken.
"What a fucking mess" He says to himself.
The journey from Ken's home to Tommy Rae's home takes around fifty minutes. But due to all the kicking and loud mumbling coming from inside the boot, and Tommy Rae screaming 'put your fucking foot down man' Daz manages to do it in thirty-eight. Tommy Rae steps out of the Bentley and waits for Daz to open the boot.
"Do you know what Daz? I'm so angry with those two…" He stops and has to think for a moment. "Are they Indians or Pakistanis?"
"Does it really matter Tom?"
"If I called you Scottish would you like it?"
"No of course I wouldn't"
"Irish?"
"No."
"Welsh?"
"Welsh? Fuck off."
"There you go then. It matters. Find out what they are for me."
Daz opens the boot and Rajeev and Amir raise their heads taking in deep breaths of life saving oxygen. Unbeknownst to all four of them, had the journey taken the usual fifty minutes, Daz's comment 'does it really matter Tom?' wouldn't really have mattered. Rajeev and Amir would have been dead. Bentley boots are air tight. Daz leans across Tommy Rae and grabs Amir by the hair, and pulls the gag from his mouth.
"Oi fucking bozo, where are you two from?" He asks them.
Amir's English is coming along just fine, but he hasn't reached, 'Oi' or 'fucking bozo' yet, so doesn't understand. Rajeev is trying to get Tommy Rae's attention by mumbling and making loud throat noises. Tommy Rae looks at him and removes his gag.
"I don't think he understands you." Rajeev says gasping for air.
"Well what about you, do you understand me?"
"Yes" Rajeev says now fully oxygenated.
"Good. Where are you two from then?"
"Vapi" He answers.
Tommy Rae closes his eyes, sighs, and calmly shuts the boot.
"Did he just call me fatty? There's fuck all of me. Does he want a broken jaw or something?"
"It sounded like floppy to me Tom, not fatty."
"Well that's even worse isn't it?"
"It must be where they're from."
"Where the fuck is floppy, and why aint I heard of it?" He asks Daz.
"I doubt if it's just you Tom. I've never heard of it either, but it must be somewhere if they live there."
The kicking and shouting starts up again from inside the boot. Tommy closes his eyes and slowly shakes his head.
"Those two floppies are kicking my Bentley, and they've been kicking my Bentley since we put them in there." He looks at Daz. "Go and get Cliff and Elton."
Daz opens the front door to the house, and two Yorkshire Terriers come running out. Tommy Rae lovingly picks them up and hugs and kisses them both. He nods to Daz to open the boot. Rajeev and Amir sit up.
"My two little boys here don't like the dark." Tommy says to Rajeev and Amir. "So if you're very very quiet and don't move much, you won't frighten Cliff and Elton, and they won't start biting you."
He puts Cliff and Elton inside the boot and shuts it. He smiles and takes a deep breath.
"Listen to that Daz. Isn't silence a wonderful thing?"
"It certainly is Tom, it certainly is. And well overdue I might add."
"Well overdue. Now where was I? What was I going to say?"
"I don't know Tom."
Tommy Rae tries to think.
"Shit… nor do I now, thanks to those two."
Chapter 19.
Gus has a syringe in one hand and is slapping Ken's arm trying to find a vein with the other. He finds one, and looks at Larry as though to say, 'Do you really want me to do this?' Larry nods yes, and Gus reluctantly administers a powerful bovine sedative.
"How long?" Asks Larry.
Gus shrugs his shoulders.
"Two, maybe three hours for a cow, so I guess you could probably double that for a man."
Jane is about to question the 'cow' reference, but dismisses it. She obviously misheard him.
"Good." says Larry.
"Why has he got to be unconscious for so long?" Jane asks Larry.
"To get our stories right. To come up with something he'll believe.
Hopefully with all the whisky he's drunk it'll cloud his..."
Gus cuts in.
"He's had alcohol?" He asks worryingly.
"Yeah." Answers Larry.
"How much?"
"About two and a half bottles."
"What?" Gus shouts in horror.
"Does that matter then?" Asks Jane.
"Yes it's just tripled the strength of the sedative; you should have told me Larry. If he dies I'll be struck off… again."
"Dies?" Screams Jane. What do you mean dies?"
Larry tries to calm things down.
"He's not going to die ok, Gus can stay with him and make sure that doesn't happen." He stares hard at Gus. "Isn't that right Gus?"
Gus drops his shoulders, closes his eyes, and sighs the mother of all sighs, and keeping his eyes closed, say's…
"This is probably what happened to Michael Jackson's doctor. He was bullied and badgered. Shouted and screamed at. Browbeaten and beleaguered into doing things he knew he shouldn't be doing. Well that's me, right here, right now."
Larry's having none of it.
"Yeah?" He says. "Well everyone has a price Gus; I believe yours is a monkey, isn't it?"
Gus can't come back with anything and Larry knows it. "Have you finished moaning now?" Asks Larry.
"Yes."
"Good. Now Ken's not going to die because you're here to look after him. So you put Jane's mind at rest right now."
"Ken's not going to die because I'm here to look after him." He says rather pathetically.
Jane quite likes this new Larry. She's wondering if he's always been like this, but chose to hide it. She's trying to recall other times when she's witnessed Larry in control but she can't pull anything to mind. She's seen countless right hand men come and go. Countless muscle come and go. But Larry was even there when she first met Ken at the car show all those years ago. He's always been there.
"Fucking hell. You have." She says, just above, under her breath.
Larry hears her.
"What?" He asks.
She looks at him, and is overwhelmed with a reassuring warm feeling inside. She knows things are going to be ok. Larry will sort everything out, he always does. Ken's going to be fine. Why didn't she see it before. She smiles. Is this how Ken feels? Is this why Larry has always been here?
"Nothing" She says and then adds. "So what do you want to do now Larry?"
"Ok" Says Larry. "First thing we need to do is get our stories right about Craig. He's nicked the Roller, he's nicked over a million in cash. And he's fucked off with it."
"Ah" Says Jane.
"Ah? What's ah for?" Says Larry.
Jane screws her face up and takes a deep breath…
"He's sort of dead."
"He's sort of dead. What does that mean?"
"I thought he'd killed Kenny."
Gus makes a little clearing of his throat noise.
"If I'm not needed anymore would anyone mind if…"
"Shut up. You are needed." Larry snaps, and Gus plonks back down on the bed.
Larry looks at Jane. She takes another sigh.
"I thought he'd killed Ken, and you did too."
"Go on."
"So that's why I got in the car with him. Not to run off with him. To take revenge."
"Which was?" Larry says quickly as he's getting fed up with waiting to find out what's happened to C
raig.
"Kill him, for killing Kenny."
Gus stands up.
"I really don't think I should be hearing this do you?" He says.
He's ignored once more and plonks back down.
"Kill him. Kill him how?" Larry asks.
"I shot him."
"Are you sure he's dead?" Asks Larry.
She screws her face up again.
"I used Clint."
"I wondered why you had it in your hand. Where?"
"In the face when he looked at me, and then in the back of the head just behind his ear."
"No. Where's Craig. Where's his body?"
"Oh, still in the car."
"Keys still in the ignition?"
"Yeah, I think so."
Larry turns to Gus.
"What?" Gus asks nervously.
"Bring the car round the back, put Craig in the boot or something. Just get him out of sight."
Gus jumps up off the bed.
"Now you know I'm not usually one for swearing Lawrence, but fuck off, just fuck off." He turns to Jane and mouths the word 'sorry' apologising for his language. "I'm not putting my prints all over a car with a dead body in it, are you mad? I'm a veterinarian Lawrence, a veterinarian, that's what I am. I'm not a gangster. So far I'm only guilty of administering what could turn out to be a lethal dose of bovine antidepressant, which if I'm correct, could get me four years. I wouldn't last four minutes in a prison, let alone four years. I'm not putting my DNA all over a crime scene." He turns to Jane and gives her a 'sorry' look for the crime scene comment. But she's still absorbing his 'lethal dose' comment.
"Lethal dose?" She shouts at Gus.
"It's only a possibility because of the alcohol you understand, not because of anything I've done."
Larry screams. "Just do it Gus, just fucking get out there and do it, now."
"Ok ok I'll do it, but after that, that's it, we're done. I'm never setting foot in this ghastly place again." Another apologetic look at Jane, and he leaves.
Chapter 20.
Rajeev and Amir are standing on footstools in the middle of a garage. They both have nooses around their necks. The nooses are attached to wooden beams above their heads. Rajeev and Amir's eyes follow Tommy Rae as he slowly walks around them. Daz stands in the background flossing Cliff and Elton's teeth. Tommy Rae stops and looks up at them.
Million Pound Appointments Page 18
