"Why are you reacting this way, Edward? You are not making this easy for me."
He closed his eyes and leaned his forehead against the cool windowpane. Lord, did she not see she was tearing his heart out? "What do you expect from me, Victoria?"
Victoria bit her trembling lip. She placed her hand on Edward's shoulder and felt him flinch at her touch. "Please listen to me, Edward. I know you must think badly of me. It must have seemed at times I was selfish and spoiled, but . . ." Her voice trailed off. Edward seemed so withdrawn. He gave no sign he was even listening to her. Did he not want her love? Was it too late? She squared her shoulders. "If I have hurt you, Edward, I am sorry. It is just that the love I felt was so strong it frightened me. I did not know how to deal with it."
Victoria moved her hand over Edward's back. She could feel the ripple of his muscles. "Edward, you will have to understand. I was frightened of my feelings. I tried to fight hard against my love, but it was useless. Can you forgive me for my stupidity?"
Edward brushed her hand from his shoulder, and turned to face her. "Do not do this to me, Victoria. I have told you you can have your freedom. Do not stand here and tell me of your feelings for Paul O'Brian. I cannot stand much more. You would be well-advised to drop this conversation right now."
Tears stung Victoria's eyes. Edward had completely misunderstood what she was trying to tell him. He still thought she loved Paul.
"Why do you not see what I am trying to tell you, Edward?"
He grabbed her by the shoulders. His fingers bit painfully into her tender flesh. His dark eyes were blazing dangerously. "I will not listen to any more, damn you. Do you think me completely without feelings?" Then he crushed her to him so tightly she could hardly breathe. He buried his face in her hair. "I know what your feelings for me are, Victoria. I forced you to marry me, knowing how you felt about Paul O'Brian. God forgive me, I have paid for my mistake. Ask anything you will of me, darling, and I will give it to you, but please do not ask me to give you up."
Victoria was crying softly. "Oh, Edward, Edward, I just realized how much we have hurt each other."
Edward took a ragged breath and pushed her from him. "I see you will not be satisfied until you have had your say, Victoria."
The pain she saw in the depths of his beautiful brown eyes was almost more than she could bear. She looked up at him. "You only think you know how I feel about you, Edward. You do not know how I feel. You risked your life to save mine when I fell from a cliff. You knew I was worried about Manuel and Consuelo, so you moved them to Rio del Lobo so they would not have to return to Mexico. Then when Consuelo was having her baby, you came to me and gave me strength and comfort. Once again you came to my rescue in Cedarville when that awful man pushed me down the steps. Later, you married me and gave me the protection of your name. Then you brought me to Jamaica in case the hearing in Georgia went against me. Put yourself in my place, Edward. How do you think I feel about you now?"
He stared at her for a moment. "I suppose you are telling me you are grateful to me," he said sarcastically. He glared at her. "Get the hell out of my room, Victoria. This conversation is over."
"Edward!"
"Victoria, I am warning you—"
"Edward, please, I—"
"You are free, Victoria. What more do you want me to say?"
"Edward, I do not want to be free. I want to stay with you."
She saw confusion on his face. "What are you saying, Victoria?"
Victoria wiped the tears from her cheeks. "I am saying that I love you, Edward. I love you."
A flash of lightning filled the air and a loud clap of thunder rumbled in the distance, giving the words she spoke more emphasis.
Edward stood as though turned to stone. Victoria would have thought him completely unmoved by her declaration of love if it were not for the tears she saw in the depths of his beautiful brown eyes, eyes that seemed to draw Victoria to him with their overpowering magnetism.
Victoria stood on her tiptoes and pushed the stubborn lock of ebony hair from Edward's forehead, as she had so often wanted to do. She felt Edward's arms tighten about her waist. Victoria's arms slid around his shoulders. With a deep moan, Edward's lips came down on hers hungrily. Victoria returned his kiss with all the love she felt in her heart.
After what seemed like an eternity, Victoria tore her lips from Edward's. "You have not said you love me, Edward."
Edward looked deep into her eyes. His eyes were as soft as brown velvet. "Oh God, Victoria!" He swallowed hard. His voice was unsteady. "If I have not told you I love you, it is because I did not trust myself to speak. Darling, my darling, I love you so much, it is like a physical pain inside my body." His lips traced a pattern across her face. "I cannot yet believe you return my love, Victoria. Let me hear you say you love me once more."
"I love you, Edward."
He looked at the ceiling and gave a hearty laugh. "Dan was right, Victoria. I do always get what I want. And I never wanted anything as badly as I want your love."
Edward picked her up in his arms and sat down with her on his lap. He rained kisses all over her upturned face. "You have me thoroughly confused, Victoria. What made you decide that you love me?"
Victoria smiled at him beguilingly. "I have loved you since the first day we met, Edward."
"That is impossible!"
"No. I assure you it is true, but I did not know you loved me until today."
Edward smiled. "How did you find out? No, don't tell me, let me guess. I betrayed my feelings every time I looked at you?"
"No."
"Let me see ... I betrayed my feelings every time I touched you?"
"No."
He laughed. "Perhaps you had better tell me after all."
"Dorothea let me read a letter you wrote to her and Cullem. You said in the letter that you loved me.
Edward frowned. "If I had told you I loved you when I asked you to marry me, would you have come to me willingly?"
"Oh, yes, Edward. I wanted you to love me with all my heart."
Edward closed his eyes. "I wanted to tell you of my love that day, but I thought you loved Paul O'Brian. What happened between you and Paul? Why did he return to Georgia?"
"I told Paul I could not marry him because I did not love him enough. He knew I loved you."
Edward shook his head in disbelief. "Why did you let me think you loved Paul, Victoria?"
"I reasoned that if you thought I loved Paul, you would not find out that I love you."
Edward gathered her close to him and rested his face against her silky hair. "Darling, we have wasted so much time when we could have been so happy. I thought you were frightened of me. I thought if I was patient with you, you would come to trust me. I was almost certain you were attracted to me, but I did not know how to deal with your rejection of me."
"Edward, I was never frightened of you, but of the feelings you caused me to feel when you kissed me or touched me."
Edward cupped her face in his hands and stared down at her. "Did you ever have these feelings with any other man?" His eyes probed deeply into hers. "Did you feel that way with Paul, Victoria?" he demanded.
"No, Edward. It was you who awoke me to the fact that I was a woman. I cannot tell you how frightening it was for me. Every time you were near, my own body would betray me."
Edward looked at her triumphantly. "I want to show you what your body was trying to tell you." He groaned. "I want you so badly, darling."
Victoria's heart was beating loudly as she melted against Edward. He kissed her eyes, her neck, then her lips. "Edward, can I tell you something?" She placed her fingers over his lips.
Edward kissed her fingers; then he grinned at her wickedly. "You had better talk fast, Victoria. I cannot promise you I will not ravish you."
"Edward, this is important."
"So is what I have in mind for you."
"Edward, please."
"All right, my love, what is so important that it cannot wait?"
She was afraid Edward would laugh at her. She tried to pull away as he forced her face up to his. Finally, she looked into his eyes. There was no mockery in his face, only a tenderness she had never seen before. "It will be all right, my love. I will teach you all you need to know." His voice became husky. "I love you, Victoria. Oh, God, how I love you."
Victoria felt his hands move to the sash that held her robe together. Edward lifted her up and stood her on her feet. In a swift caressing motion, her robe fell to the floor about her feet. His hands went to the ribbon on her nightgown. He paused to see if she would object. Before Victoria realized what was happening, her gown slipped to the floor to join her robe.
She heard Edward draw in his breath as his eyes wandered leisurely over her naked body. His eyes started at her fully rounded breasts, then traveled down to her flat stomach, taking in her tiny waist, past her well-rounded hips, to her long shapely legs.
"Oh, Victoria, you are so beautiful," he whispered.
Victoria felt her face burn. She lowered her head, thankful that her long hair curtained her embarrassment from Edward. Edward, seeing her discomfort, picked her up and placed her on his bed. Then he pulled the bed sheet over her.
Victoria saw him unbuckle his belt. She quickly closed her eyes. She felt the bed shift, and he pulled her into his arms. "I have never seen a man undressed before, Edward."
He laughed. "You still have not, Victoria. You can open your eyes now."
Edward observed Victoria's apprehension and knew he must keep his emotions in check and proceed slowly, so he would not frighten her. He started to caress her back as he talked in a soothing voice. "Darling, do you remember the night of your grandmother's birthday party?"
Victoria tried to concentrate on what Edward was saying. Her body trembled, as his hands moved slowly and sensuously down her back and over her hips.
"Yes, I remember. ..."
His mouth tantalized her lips. "That night you accused me of being unfaithful, do you remember?"
"Yes."
"I have been very faithful—to you."
His hands glided slowly along her rib cage. Victoria gasped as he cupped her breast.
"Edward, Edward," she moaned.
His eyes burned into hers. "I have not been with a woman since I met you."
"I do not understand, Edward."
"Nor do I, my love. I have a need that only you can satisfy," he whispered against her lips.
Victoria felt a tingling sensation in the pit of her stomach, that spread throughout her body. She was vaguely aware that Edward had removed the bed sheet, and was relieved that there was no longer a barrier to separate his body from hers.
She felt the pressure of his hands as he drew her slowly toward him. Her body stiffened as naked flesh met naked flesh. The heat from Edward's body burned into her; she had the momentary feeling she was suffocating.
"Relax, darling, I only want to love you with my body as I do with my heart."
Edward lowered his head. His lips traveled down her neck until he reached the valley between her breasts. Then his mouth moved slowly over the satiny peaks. Victoria's body was no longer hers to command, but an instrument, pliable and soft, in the hands of a master.
Everywhere his hands touched ignited a fire, as his mouth assaulted her lips. She trembled in anticipation—for what she did not know. In her tortured condition she tried to draw him closer to her.
"Edward please, I feel so ... I want ... I do not know."
"I know, my love. I know what you want." His hands moved over her smooth, flat stomach, then slowly downward. His lips covered hers stifling a moan.
"Victoria, I need you; I have waited for so long, darling," he cried out in agony. His breathing was labored, and his eyes burned with fire in their brown depths.
Edward gently rolled Victoria over to her back; then he covered her body with his, taking great care to balance his weight, so he would not be too heavy for her.
"Darling, there will be momentary pain. It will not last long; trust me."
Victoria lay still, not knowing what to expect. She felt a searing pain as Edward stifled her cry with a burning kiss. "I am sorry, my love; there was no way to avoid the pain."
Victoria looked at Edward in confusion. Was that all there was to it? she wondered. She felt somehow unfulfilled.
"Is it over, Edward?"
He smiled, knowing what she was feeling. "No, my love, only the pain. I have waited for so long for this moment. You do not know how many times I have made love to you in my dreams." His voice deepened. "Now my dreams become a reality."
Wild sensations engulfed Victoria as Edward began to move slowly within her body. She cried out in ecstasy.
"My love, my wife," he whispered over and over, as he carried them both skyward, on the wings of love and beauty.
Edward felt a stinging in his eyes. It was a feeling foreign to him. He felt amazement as tears fell unchecked down his face. He had not known one could cry out of love.
Tears of love.
Victoria felt tears on her face and knew her tears mingled with Edward's.
So beautiful was their coming together, they both wept, unashamed.
The storm outside the tiny cottage had abated, but the storm felt by the two lovers raged out of control. So long had they hungered for each other, their love transcended the physical and reached the spiritual.
In the aftermath of their love-making, Victoria lay in Edward's arms.
She searched her mind to find the words to tell him how she felt, but words seemed so inadequate.
Edward's hand moved gently over her stomach. "Did I hurt you, darling?"
Misty blue eyes looked into brown velvet ones. "No, my love, you were very tender and loving. I felt so ... It was so beautiful. It was as if I were no longer a separate person, but had become as one with you."
Edward swallowed a lump in his throat as he worshiped her with his eyes. "I will never love you more than I do at this moment."
"I love you so much, Edward. How is it possible to love so deeply?"
His arm tightened around her and with gentle pressure, he pulled her tightly against him.
Victoria's hands moved over Edward's back. She felt the powerful muscles that rippled beneath her fingertips.
"Love me again, Edward," she whispered.
He took a ragged breath as his desire for her returned. He pushed her gently away from him. "Maybe it is too soon. I would not want to hurt you.
She moved closer to him and kissed his lips.
"Darling don't," he pleaded. "I have so little experience with a virgin."
Victoria smiled to herself. She was beginning to understand the power she had over Edward. She teased his lips with soft kisses, and moved her body against his.
Edward grabbed her and pulled her roughly to him. He groaned as his lips took command of hers. He was lost to everything except the feelings that ran feverishly through his body.
Edward was no longer the gentle lover. All the frustrations he had felt in the past few months— wanting Victoria, and being unable to have her— came rushing to the surface. His mouth bruised her tender lips with passionate kisses. His hands moved roughly over her body.
When he took her, it was with a punishing force. He was driven beyond control by the feel of her body. Somewhere deep inside, Edward felt the need to punish her for the long months of rejection.
Victoria felt wild desire coursing through her body, as she matched Edward's movements with her own. She felt driven to the brink of madness as her body throbbed in total surrender.
At last they lay in each other's arms, their passion spent.
Edward felt remorse. He had not meant to be so brutal with her, but had been unable to stop himself.
He rested his face against her sweet-smelling hair, speaking softly. He hoped he could make her understand. "Forgive me,
darling. I am appalled at what I did to you. My only excuse is that I have wanted you for so long. Maybe I also wanted to punish you; I am just not sure."
Victoria looked into Edward's eyes—eyes that begged her to understand. Her body still tingled from his love-making.
“Oh, my love, I do understand, and there is no need to apologize." She pushed the lock of ebony-colored hair from his forehead, and ran her fingers through its silky strands. "Besides," she continued, "I think you were the innocent victim. It was I who was the instigator."
She arched her eyebrow. "Who knows? I may even do it again if it will produce the same results."
Edward threw back his head and laughed deeply. "You little witch, you have me completely under your spell—a spell I am unable to break, nor do I want to."
Victoria snuggled closer to Edward, as he slid his arm about her waist.
She cupped his face in her hands and looked into his eyes. "Give up, Yankee. You can never escape me; you are mine forever."
"I surrender without a struggle. I know when I have met my match," he said, kissing her deeply.
A night bird sang sweetly from its perch in the garden, as Victoria fell asleep, wrapped in the soft cocoon of love.
The long months of struggle were over; Edward and Victoria had found each other at last.
Throughout the night they lay in each other's arms, sometimes falling asleep, only to awake to love each other once more.
Victoria awoke just as the new day was dawning. The room was bathed in a soft light. Edward lay beside her. His dark head was nestled on her pillow; his arm was resting about her waist. She moved carefully, so she would not disturb his sleep.
Victoria studied every detail of his handsome face. Her heart swelled with love. Edward had shown her a world of love and beauty. He had been so tender and loving. Victoria could not resist the urge to kiss his sensitive mouth. The black silky lashes swept up slowly, revealing his deep brown eyes. For a moment there was a look of bewilderment on his face; then he gave her a heart-warming smile. His arm tightened about her waist.
"Was there something you wanted?" Edward said as his smile widened into a wicked grin.
Ecstasy's Promise (Historical Romance) Page 33
