The last words were a little pointed, a little resentful, but not quite enough to shut Kathy up.
‘I’ve had it hard,’ she said. ‘You two can’t imagine what it’s been like for me. I’ve been let down in life, let down by everyone I ever knew. Even you, son. It’s like a slap in the face.’
‘Yeah, well, I’m back now, so everything’s sound, right?’ Jason sounded bored. ‘Where’s Bowyer?’
‘In the garden, I should think. He deserves a treat, too. Let’s have a little party, to celebrate your freedom, shall we? I’ll get some food and drink in.’
‘Sounds nice,’ said Kathy. ‘And I can get to know my boy’s new lass. At last he’s started to punch his own weight with the girls.’
‘Mum, I think you ought to be getting home,’ said Jason. ‘You know what you get like when the booze is flowing.’
Kathy didn’t take kindly to the suggestion.
‘How dare you? Your own mother! I can’t celebrate seeing my own son, what I thought were lying dead in a ditch, come back to life? You’re heartless, that’s what you are. Just like your dad.’
‘Oh, not this again, Mum.’ He turned to Jenna. ‘Whenever I do something she doesn’t like, I’m just like my dad. Convenient, isn’t it, that I can’t exactly argue, because I don’t know who the bastard is.’
‘The truth’ll come out, one day,’ said Kathy, rising from her seat and downing her glass of wine in one. ‘Believe you me.’
‘You don’t know who he is,’ said Jason, sounding bored. ‘It could be any number of fellas. Probably some loser with a wife and six kids of his own. I’ve probably played darts with him at the pub.’
‘You talk to me like that,’ said Kathy, now full of wounded dignity, pouring herself another glass. ‘But you’ll eat your words one day, you’ll see.’
‘I’ll give you a lift home,’ offered Jenna, alarmed to see Kathy necking back the second glass in one.
‘Don’t you trouble yourself,’ she said, the wounded dignity now so insistent that she was quite stiff with it. ‘I can walk. I’m still a capable human being, whatever he has to say about it.’
She banged down her glass and shuffled out of the kitchen, followed by Jason.
‘You’ll come and visit your old mum sometime, will you? When you’re not too busy with your love life?’
‘I’ll come round tomorrow. Stop being such a drama queen. Jesus. Anyone’d think it was you who’d just got out of prison on a false charge.’
She flounced out, banging the front door behind her.
‘Oh dear,’ said Jenna. ‘I hope she’ll get home all right.’
‘She’ll be fine. Two glasses is nothing to her. This was what it was like growing up. Everything was always about her. All “poor me” and veiled hints about some bollocks made-up story she’s dreamed up about how I came to be.’
‘That must have been hard for you.’
‘Yeah, well, it weren’t a picnic, that’s for sure.’ He swigged moodily at his wine, then his face softened as he looked properly at Jenna. ‘But fuck that. It’s just you and me, now, and this big old house. And I don’t think we’ve had our proper reunion yet, have we? Come here.’
She smiled, her lips curving to fit the shape of the wine glass rim.
‘What for?’ she asked, teasingly.
‘What do you think? What do you think was on my mind while I was lying on my hard prison bunk for twenty-three hours at a time?’
‘Justice?’ She wanted to eke out the predatory glint in his eye so she could gorge on it for as long as possible. ‘Escape?’
‘Escape, so I could get my hands on you again,’ he said. ‘Now, are you going to come here, or do I have to go over there and get you?’
‘I thought about you,’ she said. ‘But I couldn’t think about not being with you again for years. My brain wouldn’t let me.’
‘Mine neither. And we can be together whenever we want now. For example, this very minute. Are you coming, Jen? I warn you, I’ve got a lot of frustration to work out.’
‘Sounds dangerous.’ But Jenna put down her wine glass and pushed back her chair.
‘Oh yeah, it’s dangerous. Come and see how dangerous.’
She stood up and feinted a move around the table, changing her direction at the last minute, just as he lunged for her, to dodge out towards the hall door.
‘Oh, don’t you dare!’ he cried, leaping up and chasing her to the bedroom.
But she had not been escaping at all. He found her sitting on the bed, her back arched to offer her neck and breasts to him.
‘Why would I run from you?’ she asked softly. ‘When all I’ve thought about since you went away is having you back?’
‘Yeah?’ He pulled off his trainers and came to kneel opposite her, taking her hands and putting them on his chest, covered with his own fingers. ‘I thought of you too. All alone in my cell. Nearly killed me to think of you, on your own, here, and to think of all the men, better men than me, who’d be round you like flies. I told myself I had to say goodbye to the idea of ever seeing you again, but I couldn’t.’
‘You don’t have to,’ she whispered, removing one of her hands from beneath his to stroke his cheek. ‘You never have to worry about that. I ached for you. Nobody else would do for me.’
He shook his head. ‘I don’t understand it, Jen. But I’ll take it. I’ll take you, and I’ll work for you – to deserve you.’
‘You do, already.’
There could be no holding back the kisses after that. They fell against each other, wrapped around each other, a vampiric embrace that sought to drain the other of their deepest essence so that they could become one.
‘Lie on your back,’ he murmured into Jenna’s ear. ‘I need to pace myself. Need to calm down or it’ll all be over too quick.’
‘We can do it again, if it is. We can do it as many times as we like,’ she reminded him with a catlike smile.
‘Oh yes, that’s going to happen,’ he said, watching her lie down, in the light cotton shirt dress she had chosen to wear for their reunion. ‘But there’s no rush, is there? Just …’ He settled himself in between her ankles and stroked her newly waxed legs lightly on both sides. ‘Settle in,’ he whispered. ‘Get comfortable. And don’t expect to be able to walk, tomorrow.’
‘Is that a promise?’
‘Hmm. But I know what’s missing.’
He climbed off the bed and went to the drawer where they kept the sex toys she had bought. He took out the purple cuffs and brandished them at her.
‘Oh,’ she squeaked, her body’s excitement – already considerable –intensifying at the sight. ‘Now I’m nervous.’
‘You should be. Give us your hand.’
He cuffed each wrist to the bedhead then resumed his position, lifting one of her legs so that the hem of her dress rose to the top of her thigh, and bringing her foot to his lips. He kissed it in random places: heel, instep, big toe, ankle. Then he laid it down and did the same with her other foot. She congratulated herself silently on the pedicure she’d self-administered that morning.
‘I can see your knickers,’ he said, still holding her left foot high, massaging it in strong, capable hands. ‘You naughty girl. Do you show them to all the boys?’
‘Only the ones who know what to do with them,’ she said, squirming a little and trying to close her legs, which Jason would not allow to happen.
‘Good answer. Well, I’ll get to that. But first …’
He bent forward and began unbuttoning her dress from the top down. He dropped little kisses on her neck at intervals, sometimes turning them into wicked nips that made her gasp.
‘Matching bra,’ he commented, kissing the furrow in between her breasts, in their covering of polka-dotted silk. ‘Pretty.’
He pushed the dress a little way down her shoulders, so that her bra was fully exposed, leaving the lower buttons still done up.
‘Did you choose this specially?’ he asked, running a finger inside the lace edg
ing, tickling the slopes of her breasts as it glided along.
‘I thought they’d be cool in this heat. Silk.’
‘You knew you’d be getting hot, then?’
‘Uh huh.’
‘And what happens when you get hot, Jen?’ His thumb rubbed the hard protrusion of her nipple in the middle of the silk, causing it to swell further.
‘You can see what happens,’ she whimpered, longing for him to press harder, or take it between finger and thumb and squeeze.
‘This is getting nice and big and hard, isn’t it?’ he said. ‘Popping up to say hello to me. And the other one.’ He circled both nipples, lazily, enjoying himself. ‘I could do this all day.’
He could, too, she thought, and the idea made her squirm again with frustration.
‘What? Don’t you like that idea?’ He laughed.
‘Mmm.’ Inarticulate vocalisations were all she could manage. ‘Please.’
‘Please, what? What do you want?’
‘More. Harder!’
‘Poor Jen,’ he whispered into her ear. ‘She needs it bad.’
He loomed over her again and pulled the silk cups down, baring her breasts to the warm, circulating air.
‘Now I can see how hot you are,’ he said. ‘They don’t get much fuller than that.’ He kissed and sucked each tingling, swollen nipple until she could feel the furtive wetness in her knickers and the corresponding throb of her clitoris. She ground her hips to try and get a tiny bit of friction between the damp silk and the pulsing bead, but it was not enough, nowhere near enough.
‘No, no, no,’ chided Jason, clapping a hand on her hip. ‘You don’t get to sort yourself out today. That’s my job. Believe me, I’m going to work you.’
She believed him.
He bent back down to her nipples, sucking until they were sore and tight while his hands cradled her buttocks underneath, cupping and squeezing them in their stretched silk cladding.
She felt totally bared to him, more so than if she were naked. She knew that she had no defence against him and she knew, also, that he would do whatever he wanted to her. The third piece of knowledge – that she would love it – added a zest of shameful excitement to her vulnerability.
‘Oh, you’re gorgeous,’ he said, breathing hard. ‘Even more than I remember. I’m going to have you every way under the sun, babe.’
He unbuttoned the lower portion of her dress and spread it wide, so it lay on either side of her.
‘There now,’ he said, gazing down at her, his eyes roving from her head down to her feet. ‘All mine. What shall I play with first?’
He lowered her knickers, very slowly, kissing each new expanse of uncovered skin until he reached her neat pubic triangle, newly trimmed and tidied in his honour.
‘I think you knew these were coming off,’ he said, smirking at the sight. ‘Didn’t you?’
‘Yes.’
‘Did you hope they were?’
‘Yes.’
‘What if I decide you should keep them on?’ He feinted pulling them back up.
She pouted and kicked her heels in protest.
‘OK.’ He pulled them down to mid-thigh. ‘I can see what you want.’
He put his hand over her denuded pussy, cupping it proprietorially.
‘Did you touch yourself here?’ he asked. ‘While I was away?’
She shook her head.
‘Couldn’t. I was too wound up. Couldn’t even think of it, except to dream of the day when we’d be together again.’
‘So it’s been waiting for me, all neglected?’ He lifted his hand and kissed her mound, then spread her lips with his thumbs to inspect his territory. ‘Can’t be happy without me, is that it?’
‘That’s it,’ she concurred.
‘Because you’re all mine, aren’t you?’ He began to rub and stroke inside her lips, very lightly and softly at first, but with the promise of more to come.
‘God, yes.’
‘I think that deserves a reward.’
He kept at her, his touch quickening, deepening, while other fingers slid inside her, one at a time, until she was filled. She kept her legs wide open, straining to show him that nothing was off-limits, all of her was his. His diligent fingers built her up while his mouth closed over her breasts, her neck, her shoulders, her face, her own mouth, thrusting his tongue inside in rhythm with his fingers. She lifted her bottom off the bed, driving herself further on to him, giving him all of her.
When her first orgasm came, it began with a flutter then quickly overwhelmed her, a soaking flood of pure sensation, its tide carrying her out of the tensions of the past and into a beautiful new future.
‘I want you,’ she said, as the last drops were wrung out of her.
‘What’s that, love?’
‘Please. Want you. Want us together.’
He kissed her forehead and looked into her eyes with a kind of sadness.
‘I wanted to keep you coming and coming and then finally get inside you,’ he said. ‘But fuck it. I can’t wait. I want you.’
He pulled her knickers the rest of the way off, uncuffed her wrists and wrapped his arms around her. They rolled this way and that, kissing feverishly, twisting legs and arms into impossible configurations until Jenna got him on to his back and clamped his hips with her knees.
She was brisk and businesslike about getting his jeans and pants down to his ankles. He sat up and helped, no less eager than she was for their coupling to begin in earnest. They pulled and tugged and panted and laughed with frustration at the obstinacy of denim and elastic until Jason was ready, unsheathed and unmistakably hard.
He held on to Jenna’s flanks and helped her lower herself on to him. She smiled, her eyes half-closed, as he filled her, inch by inch. Oh, that feeling could never be replicated in imagination. The gorgeous bursting fullness of it was to be savoured and dwelled upon for as long as possible.
But Jason was in more of a hurry. No sooner was he in to the hilt than he flipped her over and began to thrust with hungry urgency.
Everything was in this act. It was both lustful fuck and tender lovemaking, and all points in between. There was passion and intimacy, need and raw, animal want all tangled up together, melting into steam. It was almost a rite, Jenna thought, almost a sacred experience. She and he, one flesh, one being, one purpose in their minds.
She had never felt so close to any human being. She touched his skin and felt, in its damp heat, all his emotions combined. He was flawed and perfect, rough and beautiful, unschooled and brilliant, and he was the man she loved.
Everything of her was poured into their union, wanting him to know that she left nothing hidden to his eyes. She wanted him to know he could trust her.
The thrusting banged the headboard against the wall and made a cloud of plaster dust shower over the pillows. A curious bird, settling on the windowsill, was frightened off by the panting and moaning, flapping away to its nest. Knocks on the door and bleeps of the phone were all ignored, all unheard. Nothing existed but them and their lust and their love and their oneness.
Before he came, he asked her if she wanted it and she said yes so many times that she couldn’t stop saying it, the word repeating over and over as he emptied inside her.
Afterwards she was lightheaded and aching all over, but it was a lovely ache, one to treasure. They held each other and told each other that they were loved and dozed for a while until the door was knocked again.
‘Ignore it,’ said Jason.
‘I was going to. I don’t want to see anybody for at least the next forty-eight hours.’
‘Forty-eight hours of shagging?’ he said hopefully.
‘Do you think we could do that?’
‘I reckon we could.’
There was a full, fat, sated silence, then Jason yawned and said, ‘You’re not kicking me out then?’
She propped herself on her elbow.
‘Don’t,’ she said, her voice catching.
‘Don’t what?’
/> ‘Just don’t. You’re here and you’re with me and I want to believe it’s going to stay that way forever. Let me have that, even if it’s only for tonight.’
He laughed uncertainly. ‘Why would it only be for tonight?’
‘Don’t.’
‘OK.’ He shrugged, and lay back down, while she tried to calm the storm-force thoughts in her head.
He’s a free agent now. He can go where he likes and do what he likes. Why would he want to be some celeb’s Kept Man? He has his pride, after all. And he’s young and handsome and can have who he likes. He’ll leave …
‘Jen,’ he said. ‘I love you, you know.’
Her doubts were tossed into the back of her mind. She reached for his hand.
‘I love you too.’
‘You were all I thought about when I was in there. Whether you’d still be there. Y’know. Afterwards.’
‘You thought I might not be?’
‘Well, a woman like you, why would you hang around? I know I’m not a fucking rock star, or a millionaire, or anything close.’
‘Sh. I don’t want those things. I want you.’
‘But now it’ll be in all the papers. I was worried you’d be, y’know, embarrassed. Ashamed of me. It’s one thing when it’s all a big secret and another when the whole world knows your business. I don’t think many people’ll understand it.’
‘They can get lost, then. I don’t care what they think. You can stay as long as you want. And maybe you aren’t a rock star or a millionaire but you’re a genius and you’re a good man, which is worth more than all of that.’
‘I’m not a good man! I’ve never done anyone any good in my life.’
‘Maybe not, but you can be. You will be. I have every faith in you.’
He leant over to kiss her and his dark eyes brimmed.
‘Thank you,’ he said. ‘Nobody’s ever believed in me before.’
The moment, poignant and laden as it was with emotion, was interrupted by a loud yowl from outside.
‘Bowyer,’ said Jason, leaping up out of the bed to stick his head through the half-open sash window. He whistled. ‘Here, boy. Where are you?’
‘I haven’t seen him since breakfast,’ said Jenna. ‘He’s been in that garden, all day every day, lately. I bet it’s wall-to-wall dead mice under all those weeds.’
Diamond Page 24
