by Piper Rayne
“You could get an ornament for being engaged?” Maddie suggests because my friends are still in the dark about the whole fake engagement. “I have to say, you guys have really made a home here.” She sits back on her legs and looks around the room. The Santas, trees, snowmen. Luca said screw a theme, we’re going with a hodgepodge of everything. If you like it, we buy it. We’ve had fun decorating the past week, but still, our tree sits there empty.
“Yeah, maybe,” I say.
“What’s with the shift?” Vanessa asks, locating the remote and flipping to the Hallmark channel. The Blackhawks were probably going to lose anyway, and I’d much rather chat with my girls who I rarely see now that everyone has a significant other.
“Shift?” I pull my legs up under me.
“When you guys first announced your engagement, we all thought you guys were up to something. Cristian was convinced it was some ploy by Luca.” She rolls her eyes like he never saw us in the right light. Van’s been team Luca and Lauren since the beginning. “Now, you guys are always together, touching and kissing. Don’t get me wrong, it’s nice to see, but weird how it feels like we were witnesses to something evolving when you’d think we would have seen it before the ring was on your finger.” Her gaze shoots to my hand, almost as if she’s making sure the ring is still there.
Vanessa is way too observant, Is Cristian giving her some sort of lessons when he’s off duty?
“I don’t know.” I shrug hoping to play it off and move on.
“Did you just feel uncomfortable because you said you hated him when you really looovveed him?” Maddie’s body wiggles side to side.
“No. I really did hate Luca.” At least I can tell the truth about that.
At least I think I did. It’s all so confusing now. As much as I hated him, I loved pushing his buttons and challenging him. It was kind of a sick game I played when I look back on it. Like my feelings for him were right under my skin’s surface, hibernating until he touched me. Maybe that’s why I agreed to this whole thing in the first place.
“Well, you don’t hate him now,” Vanessa says.
The movie goes to a commercial and Vanessa with her poor attention span flicks through the channels.
“No, I don’t.”
Maddie leans forward. “We’re going to be sisters-in-law.” She places her left hand over mine, her bigger diamond outshining mine.
The hope overwhelming her eyes kills me inside.
I smile and luckily Vanessa interrupts us before I have to lie straight to my best friend’s face again.
“No, not again.” The remote falls to the floor and Vanessa digs into her hoodie’s pocket, retrieving her phone. Pressing one button, she holds it up to her ear.
Maddie rounds the table, seeing the fire blazing hot, red and angry on the television. Neither of us listens to the reporter. Maddie goes for her phone, I go for mine.
Both Mauro and Luca are on shift tonight. At least my man stays outside the fire while hers runs into the building. And with all the warehouse arson fires lately, it makes his normal dangerous job even more hazardous.
She returns holding her phone in her palm, her eyes intent on the television. We’ve been here before. She scours the scenes, looking for a glimpse of Mauro while a camera guy shoots the scene. Nothing. There’s nothing.
“Okay, let us know what you hear. I know. I know. I can’t believe this either. Why aren’t the police arresting anyone? I know, babe. Okay.” Vanessa clicks end and stares over at us. “Another abandoned warehouse fire. Cris is going to try to find out what’s happening. He said he’ll let us know. He’s calling Zia to make sure she’s with Mama. We’re to sit tight here.”
Maddie gets up, walking back and forth in front of us.
Vanessa’s phone rings and she mutes the television. “Hey. Okay. Thanks, babe. We will. Love you too.” She places her phone in her lap. “Engine Fifty-Five are on the scene.”
Maddie’s eyes close and she inhales a deep breath, falling to one of the chairs. Her body rocks. Man, these fires have really shaken her up. “Sometimes I think I’m not cut out for this…to be a firefighter’s wife. I mean every time he leaves for work, I’m terrified. Especially with these out of control warehouse fires someone is starting.”
Vanessa stands and sits down in the chair next to her, her hand on her knee. “He’s smart. He’s experienced. He knows what he’s doing. With all the shootings in this city I fear for Cristian every day, too. It’s a lot to handle.”
I stare at them from across the room. I’ve never once been scared when Luca went to work. Not that I deem his job safe, he goes into uncontrolled situations a lot, but he does have a safer job than either Mauro or Cristian. Still, he’s there in his ambulance right now waiting to help anyone who needs it. Maybe I’m underestimating the risks he’s exposed to with his job. Should I be rocking like Maddie? If I cared more for him, would I be more worried?
Vanessa widens her eyes at me in question wondering why I’m not helping to reassure our friend that her fiancé will come home safely. What do I say? That I’m having a revelation here? I kiss him goodbye when he goes to work, never worried that he won’t be returning to me twenty-four hours later. Am I naïve or do I just not care that much?
A phone rings and Van reaches for hers, but hers isn’t ringing.
“It’s yours,” Van says.
I look down at the screen, where it lay on the couch and see Luca’s name. “Hey,” I say.
“You heard?” he asks.
“We did. Maddie and Van are here.”
“Okay, Mauro is in the building. It’s bad, babe. This fire is the worst of the ones I’ve been on shift for. But don’t tell Maddie that. Mauro knows what he’s doing but just stay by a phone just in case.”
“Be careful,” I say.
“You know me? I’m Superman. How else could I give you three orgasms in one night?” That light lilt of arrogance is in his tone and for some reason that puts the little uneasiness I have watching Maddie practically shatter in front of me at ease.
“Call me when it’s over?”
“Yeah, once I’m back at the station. I’ll call you if anything happens.”
“Thanks.”
“Sure. Bye, babe.”
Neither one of us hangs up. I can hear him breathing. The words are on the tip of my tongue. Three little words most engaged couples say to one another hanging there in the silence, but what if I’m wrong? I mean even after this call, there’s not one ounce of worry he won’t call me in an hour either at the station or from the hospital.
“Talk to you soon,” I finally say.
“Yeah…talk to you later.” He hangs up the phone and the sourness in my stomach is the fact that I have no idea if I can trust my gut or not.
“What did he say?” Maddie asks, pacing again.
“He said they’re there.”
Maddie’s eyes close again and she nods. Vanessa’s eyes plead with me to come up with some sort of an idea, but I saw Maddie in this state a few weeks ago. Nothing other than Mauro calling or running through that door is going to get her to relax. So, all three of us sit and wait for the phone call.
Forty-five minutes later, it’s Van’s phone that rings. I’ve seen her hammering out text messages a few times and I’m guessing it was Cris telling her he was trying to get information.
“Hey,” she answers and heads toward the front door for some privacy.
Maddie watches her intently.
Van swallows a lump in her throat and she turns to face the wall. Shit, something’s happened.
I head over to Maddie and grip her hand in mine.
“Okay. Yeah, we’re on our way. Love you, too.”
She takes what seems like forever to turn around and I squeeze Maddie’s hand harder, letting her know that we’re here for her, however she needs us. But Van’s eyes fall to me instead of Maddie.
“It’s Luca.”
My stomach drops, and bile chases the involuntary cry up my throat.
Everything around me swirls like a kaleidoscope and memories of my short time with Luca bombarded me and leave me gasping for breath.
“He’s being rushed to County.” Vanessa’s voice startles me and it’s like I’m being sucked backward through a wormhole until I’m back in the room with them. She tucks her phone in the pocket of her sweatshirt. “We’re not telling Mama until Cris knows more. Mauro is in the ambulance with Luca.” She swings her purse over her shoulder. “Come on.”
It’s then with Vanessa’s urgent eyes pinned on me and Maddie’s hand trying to slide from mine that I realize I was a fool to ever think I felt anything other than love for Luca because right now I want to rip the tree down along with the lights outside. Throw his sweatshirt hanging on the dining room chair out. Shred the Sports Illustrated magazine on the table because if none of that existed, it would mean my heart wasn’t so invested that it could crumble to pieces like it is with the thought of losing him.
Chapter Thirty-Five
Luca
“You fucking moron. What were you thinking?” Mauro yells at me as I lay on a stretcher with someone looking the burns over, taking my vitals.
“Shut up. I had to help. He was falling down. He needed oxygen.”
“You know rules, Luca, you wait until we’re over the line.” He runs his hands down his soot-covered face.
Mauro was out of the building, trying to grab me when I ran over to help a firefighter down on the sidewalk with an oxygen mask. The mini explosion that propelled me fifty feet, landing me right on my back wasn’t supposed to happen. At least in my mind.
“You always have to cross that line. Why can’t you ever play it safe?”
“Mauro, this isn’t calming him down. His pulse is skyrocketing. We have no idea about his back and I’m pretty sure these are second-degree burns on his legs,” Javin, another paramedic, tells him.
“Cris is calling Lauren. She’ll be here. You’re not the one we’re supposed to worry about.” Mauro runs his dirty hands through his sweat-slicked hair.
“I’m good. I’m talking to you, aren’t I?”
“You don’t get it, Luca. You have a fiancée to go home to now. A future. Someone invested in you. Trusting you to keep the risks of your job to a minimum. Someone you have to put before yourself.”
“Stop with the big brother lecture.”
Javin puts an IV into the top of my hand to prep me for whatever they’re going to do at the hospital. I know the drill well enough to predict what his next step will be.
“I don’t think you’ll ever grow up. Lord help Lauren because one day she’s going to get a phone call that will destroy her.”
Mauro’s talking to himself more than to me now, but his words repeat over and over in my head. Destroy and Lauren the two prominent ones.
“You just can’t do whatever you want. Why don’t you understand that?”
I don’t fight him anymore. Mostly because my mind is swimming with doubts again. Doubts about something happening to me and her not knowing how I really feel. Mauro can fuck himself if he thinks he’s going to make me feel guilty for running to help someone. He would’ve done the same. It’s what we do. So I really don’t care what’s up his ass now. My only concern is that I need Lauren to know that I love her.
I love her. I love Lauren.
I’ve never loved anyone before and accepting it feels like being bowled over by a tidal wave.
Telling Lauren is an urgent need inside me, like my heart is hammering with fists on my rib cage to get out.
“I need someone’s phone. Where’s mine?”
“In your own truck.”
“Give me yours.” I look to Mauro who narrows his eyes.
“Mine is in my truck. I had Trevor call Cris and he’ll make the phone calls.”
My mission is to memorize Lauren’s number as soon as I get my phone back.
“She’ll be at the hospital?” I ask my brother.
“Yeah.” He doesn’t look at me, like my face would sicken him.
In my mind, I figure out my list of tasks while Javin works on me. First is to admit my feelings to Lauren, Then I need to tell my family the truth. It’ll be nice to have it all out on the table and then we can start our real life together.
Luca and Lauren forever.
Chapter Thirty-Six
Lauren
“We’re here to see Luca Bianco.” Maddie takes the lead at the nurse’s station because I’m still in shock that of the three of us, I’m the one in this position right now.
“And you are?” the woman who looks to be in her mid-thirties asks, leaning back in her chair and crossing her arms over her chest.
“Maddie…” She looks behind at me. We all know the drill, family only more than likely. She grabs my shoulders and pushes me up to the reception desk. “This is his wife, Lauren Bianco.”
The nurse looks me up and down and then laughs. “Luca Bianco has a wife?”
I nod. Again, with this lying business, but at least this time it’s to a stranger.
“Luca isn’t married. Honey, he’s in here every other day. I’d know.” She gives us all a smug look.
“Well, she’s his fiancée.” Vanessa holds up my left hand. “See! His ring is on her finger.”
“That could be anyone’s ring.” She moves her attention to her computer screen and starts typing, seemingly done with us.
“Hold on, I’m calling Mauro.” Maddie steps away with her phone in hand.
“If I let every girl in here who says they’re engaged to Luca Bianco I’d be fired.”
I lean forward. “How many girls?”
“He’s not fucking Adam Levine. He’s a paramedic,” Vanessa snips.
The nurse just stares at Vanessa unimpressed. I’m not getting anywhere with this lady. I’m going to either have to make a run for it or wait for Mauro or Cris to show their face.
“Voicemail,” Maddie says.
“I’ll call Cris.” Vanessa steps away, but the elevator dings and out walks that doctor from before.
What was her name?
I can’t think of anything other than her hand on my fiancé’s knee.
The one he flirted with in the elevator.
God, that seems so long ago now.
“Hey.” She smiles politely over to me, while the nurse hands her some papers. She reads them and then she looks back at me. “Luca’s, right?”
“Lauren. Yeah. Can you tell this nurse that I’m his fiancée?”
“I got voicemail, too,” Vanessa says.
“She is his fiancée,” the doctor says. “He’s introduced me to her.” The doctor smiles over to me and then goes back to reading her papers.
The nurse hems and haws but writes me out a visitor pass. “Room four fourteen.”
I smack the sticker on my shirt and wait for the buzzer to allow me in.
“Thank you,” I say to the doctor who gives me a little wave, probably secretly cursing my name.
A buzz sounds and the double doors open. Behind them, it’s a bustle of activity. Wallows of pain can be heard, doctors talk to nurses about diagnoses and plans of care. Family members reassuring their loved ones everything will be okay.
I don’t even know what condition Luca is in. He may not even be coherent for all I know. Oh God, what if he’s in a coma or on life support? Someone probably would have told me, right? My heart is almost beating out of my chest. I want to hold him. I want his lips on the top of my head. If he’s okay, we’re so doing naked Christmas tree decorating like he suggested. I’ll let him put up the lights because if I scared him this much when I was up on the ladder, I get it now.
I look up to the ceiling, praying for the first time in too long. “I’ll let him win at everything. Competition doesn’t matter as long as I have him. Please let him be okay. I’ll be a better person, I promise.”
The farther down the hall toward his room number, my gut locks up like heavy chains tying knot above knot as I struggle to walk.
One
thing is certain, I don’t care if he doesn’t feel it yet, I’m telling him I love him. That sometime during this fake relationship, something real emerged and I’ve fallen head over heels in love with him. We’ll be like one of those cheesy couples from the Hallmark movies and I can’t wait. He just has to be okay.
I pass room number four twelve and decide that even if he’s not awake, I’ll hold his hands so I’m the first person he sees.
My footsteps slow as I approach his door, taking one last deep breath for courage.
Lay it all out there, Lauren. Be honest with him.
“It wasn’t real.” The sound of Luca’s voice sends a thrill through me until I process his words.
I stay where I am, unshed tears burning in my eyes.
“I knew it!” Cristian’s conviction rings clear in his voice. “Just because Ma was sick, right? What were you thinking? Did you think about what would happen when she found out? How she’d feel then?”
“No,” Luca says.
“If you weren’t in a hospital bed right now, I’d beat the shit out of you,” Mauro chimes in.
“You guys know how Ma was always on my case about not growing up. She wanted her three boys settled down. So I gave her what she wanted.”
“And what now?” Cris asks. “What are you going to tell Ma now?”
“I don’t know. I haven’t figured that out yet.”
“Of course you haven’t. You probably want Cris to tell her,” Mauro says, and I can hear the fury in his voice.
I hear a sound of slapping hands. “I wipe my hands of that responsibility. It’s about time you own up to your mistakes.”
Is that what I was to Luca? A mistake?
“Maddie’s already planning us moving into side by side houses, having bar-b-cues and having kids around the same time. On second thought, I’m going to kill you because you didn’t just fuck with your own feelings, you’re fucking with other people’s—most importantly the one person I put in front of my own.”
There’s a light scuffle and I wonder if Mauro really is kicking his ass.
“Stop it. This isn’t going to help.” Cristian, the peacemaker, intercepts whatever’s happening. “I think the important question is, what are you going to tell Lauren?”
