“I can’t help it. I was just so broken by what happened in New York that I let it consume me. I didn’t know how bad things had gotten until Ev called me.”
“Wait, what? What do you mean Ev called you?”
Danni sniffed and said, “You have no idea what happened the night before I came here, do you?”
Fear shot through me as I saw the look on her face. Judging from her expression I knew this wasn’t going to be good.
“Danni, please tell me what you’re talking about.”
She sighed and another tear fell.
She took a deep breath and explained, “The day before I came here, the guys staged an intervention for you and it didn’t go well.”
What? An intervention? Was she kidding me? How could I not remember that? I was dumbfounded. I had a million questions but I couldn’t seem to form the words.
Thankfully she continued, “I guess it was really bad. You even tried to punch Jude in the face. That’s when Everleigh stepped in and calmed you down. Apparently she was the only one you would listen to…you even pushed Sadie away when she tried to reason with you. There was talk of forcing you into rehab but you refused and said you’d drive straight into a tree if anyone even tried.
“You tried to grab your car keys and leave but Ryder blocked the door and threatened to kick your ass if you walked out. You tried to attack him and he ended up knocking you out cold. Everyone stayed with you that night while you slept it off and that’s when Ev called me and told me what happened.”
I was gutted. I just thought I had drank so much to numb the pain that I’d become a zombie. I had absolutely no recollection of this intervention ever happening and that scared the shit out of me. What else did I not remember?
“I don’t remember that,” I croaked out, my voice hoarse.
She combed her fingers through my long hair and said softly, “Of course you don’t. You were battling severe alcoholism and denying that you had a serious problem.”
“It was all such a blur before you came back into my life that I can’t remember much before that. The morning I woke up to find you in the kitchen cooking me breakfast…I thought I was dead, that you were an angel. I was sure that was the only way I’d ever get to see you again.”
“Oh Beau,” she whispered, crying softly to herself. “I’m so sorry.”
“Baby,” I said, moving off her chest and sitting up next to her. I pulled her into my arms and continued. “Don’t be sorry for me. I am the one that fucked this whole thing up and the one that needs to apologize. Seems that I have a lot of apologizing to do.”
I was shocked. I couldn’t believe I had drank so much that I could completely forget an intervention, trying to attack two of my best friends, and being knocked unconscious. Not to mention I couldn’t even remember when Danni actually came here. Holy shit…what else had I blocked out?
“Well, you are off to a good start,” she murmured into my chest.
“I love you more than anything and I forgave all of that a long time ago. I know you say I shouldn’t feel guilty, but I can’t help that I do. If I’d given you the chance to apologize in the beginning and hadn’t pushed you away, this past year wouldn’t have happened.”
“Danni you can’t think like that. You did what you had to do and I understand that. After everything I’ve done how in the hell could you forgive me and be here with me now?”
She pulled her head up to look me in the eyes.
Placing her hand over my heart, she said, “Because of this,” she whispered. “You have an amazing heart that’s so full of love and that’s why I’m here. It took me a long time to get here but I can guarantee I’m never letting go of you. I hope you don’t mind giving me your heart because I plan to keep hold of it for good. And don’t worry about trying to win my heart because it’s yours. It’s always been yours.”
“God, I’m so lucky,” I said before pulling her lips to mine.
I knew I had a lot of apologizing to do and things to make up for, but first I planned on making a lot up to Danni, one kiss at a time.
The next day I called the guys and arranged to meet up for dinner at the local steakhouse. This intervention thing was really eating away at me and I couldn’t believe no one had told me about it. I needed to address it, not just for me, but to have the chance to apologize to them as well.
I was early and had already gotten us a table in the back where it was quiet. I may be in love with Danni, but I could still flirt when I needed to so I managed to convince the waitress to boot another party that was waiting and let me take their table. Sometimes being a celebrity has its kicks.
I’d ordered a soda and was glancing through the menu when the guys showed up.
“Hey,” I said to them, bumping fists as they all took their seats in the booth. “What’s going on?”
“Nothing much,” Jude said. “I’m glad you called tonight, I had to get out of the house.”
“Why? What’s up? Sadie been bothering you?” I asked him.
“No, not really. She’s just been playing ‘Trigger’ on repeat for about four fucking hours trying to get it perfect and it was really irritating me.”
“You know how you could alleviate that irritation? By going out and getting laid,” Ryder said, shoving his arm. “Seriously, bro, how long has it been? A year now?”
Jude scrunched his face and said, “Fuck me, has it been that long? I guess I hadn’t noticed.”
“I still can’t believe you quit sex cold turkey when you moved in with my sister,” I said, laughing. “How many times has she busted your balls over that?”
“She hasn’t. Actually, she’s been pretty cool and said she would give it up too for a while,” he answered.
“Damn,” I laughed, “I don’t know why that’s funny to me but it is.”
“Still though, as much pussy as you used to get, it had to have been rough on your dick to just stop completely,” Ryder said.
“It was difficult but I had never lived with a chick at that point and I didn’t want Sadie to see all the usual girls I had hanging around there. I also didn’t need the added drama trying to get them out the door and having Sadie laughing her ass off at them as they did the walk of shame.”
“So how many times do you masturbate in a day since no one’s playing with your dick now?” Ryder teased, and Jude shoved him.
“Shut the fuck up, man,” he said, flipping him off.
After they teased each other some more, we placed our orders and I cleared my throat.
“Listen, guys, there was actually a reason I wanted us all to meet tonight. There’s something I need to say and it can’t wait,” I said, my tone serious.
“What’s up man? Whatever it is we’ve got your back, you know this,” Kris answered.
“Well, I’m sure you all know by now that Danni and I are finally back together,” I said.
“That’s awesome,” said Kris.
“Finally,” replied Jude.
“Thank fucking God,” Ryder answered.
Smiling slightly, I went on.
“Listen guys, we talked yesterday and she told me about the intervention you guys staged for me six months ago.”
Suddenly it got very quiet and I looked carefully at each of the guys. They were looking at each other, obviously trying to decide what to say.
“Before anyone says anything, I have to say I’m sorry,” I answered. “I knew I was bad but I didn’t realize how bad. I had no idea any of that happened until Danni told me last night.”
“The fact that you didn’t know and no one told you should prove that we love you, man,” Kris said. “You were already such a mess that you didn’t need to be reminded of what happened. You got your shit worked out so we all just let it go.”
“We’re just glad you’re okay, man,” Ryder said.
“Thanks,” I said, looking at the table. “I just can’t believe I blocked out something that huge and you guys still stuck by me.”
“Hey,” J
ude said, putting a hand on my arm. “We will always stick by you because we’re brothers. We were a family long before any of the music and we will be one long after. I’m so glad Danni came back when she did because we were all afraid we were going to lose you.”
“I can’t believe I let myself get that bad, especially over a woman. But she’s not just any woman. She’s the one,” I said, feeling the guilt start to go away.
“Danni’s a special girl, that’s for sure. This has been a difficult year for all of us and it’s about time we all got a break,” Kris said.
Ryder raised his beer and nodded his head.
“Ain’t that the fucking truth. That whole month in New York was just a shit storm all the way around.”
“Yes it was,” I agreed. “Seriously though, I just wanted to say thanks for being there like always, guys. It’s just going to get better for me from here on out now that I have my girl back.”
Jude raised his beer and said, “To getting girls back, getting pussy on a regular basis, and to the one asshole in the bunch that’s getting none of that.”
We all raised our drinks (beers for them, soda for me) and laughed as we toasted to the future and for the first time in a while, I was hopeful for mine. It was all tied to Danni and I hoped nothing would come along to ruin it.
“What are you talking about, Sadie? The song is perfect,” Jude groaned, rubbing his hand through his Mohawk in frustration.
Sadie shook her head and pursed her lips in thought.
“No, it’s not right yet. Something’s missing. Just let me listen to it again and I’ll figure it out,” she said and pressed the button to replay the song we thought we’d just finished.
To say Sadie was a perfectionist and took her job seriously was the biggest understatement ever. We’d recorded another track for our album three days ago. It sounded perfect to us, but Sadie was insisting something was missing.
“Well, I’m tired of sitting on my ass and doing nothing. I’m going to grab lunch. You want me to pick you up something?” Jude asked Sadie, and she nodded.
“Just bring me back an order of whatever you’re having,” she said, waving him off.
Sighing, Jude turned to me, Kris and Ryder and asked, “Well, I’m hitting the burger joint down the road. You guys want to come with me?”
“Yeah, I’ll go,” Kris answered. “Jess is doing office shit so I’m free.”
Ryder shook his head. “If we are on a quick break I think I’m going to head home and have lunch with Evie.”
“Naked lunch you mean,” I teased.
“Fucking right, man. This pregnancy has her horny all the time and I’m not ashamed to let her have what she wants,” he said, smiling. “Besides, she’s almost three months along and now that her belly’s rounding out and her boobs are getting bigger she looks sexy as fuck.”
Everleigh was finally out of the first trimester of her pregnancy and she was starting to show. She was a very pretty girl anyway, but even I had to admit that she was looking more and more beautiful every day as her stomach started to get bigger. I could only hope that Danni and I would have that some day. She’d look incredible with my child growing inside her. But I wasn’t about to tell her that. I just got her back and I wasn’t going to scare her off with any baby talk.
“Well, you go enjoy your lunch,” I teased, nudging his arm. “As for me, I think I might call Danni and see how she’s feeling.” Danni and I had been back together officially for a little over a month and things were damn near perfect.
I wanted to check on her anyway. She’d come down with the flu and had been throwing up; she was barely able to get out of bed for the past week and a half. She claimed she was starting to feel better but I just wanted to make sure.
I heard a light tapping on the recording booth door and it opened before anyone could speak.
“Knock knock, am I interrupting?” Danni said, walking into the booth.
I smiled and stood up. “Well, hey there beautiful,” I replied, walking to her and enveloping her into my arms. “I was just telling the guys I was going to come by your apartment to check on you. How are you feeling?”
“Much better,” she answered. “Thank God whatever I had is finally gone. Since I am feeling better I was hoping to kidnap you and take you to lunch.”
“Well Kris and I were about to go get take out. Why don’t you hang around and join us?” Jude suggested but I wanted to punch him. Since Danni wasn’t sick anymore my dick was quickly rising to full attention.
She smiled and said, “Sure, that sounds great. I feel like I’ve missed so much while I’ve been sick so I need to catch up.”
I sighed and kissed the top of her head.
“Okay, well, why don’t you sit down and chill with Sadie while I go with the guys to get food?”
“That’s sounds great,” she said, leaning up and kissing my lips. “We can talk shit about you guys while you’re gone.”
I smiled and hugged her close.
“We were going to go to the burger joint down the block, but I can go to another restaurant if you think a cheeseburger might upset your stomach.”
“I’ve lived off bananas, dry toast, and Gatorade for the past three days. I’d knife someone for a cheeseburger right now,” she said, and I laughed.
“Okay, cheeseburger it is then.”
I pulled her into a deep kiss. As soon as we broke apart she looked at me, dazed. “I won’t be gone long.”
“Good,” she mumbled. “Hurry back, babe.”
I looked at her face, so beautiful and perfect, and I felt the familiar need to pinch myself to make sure I wasn’t dreaming.
Kissing her once more, I said, “You know it,” and I followed Kris and Jude out of the studio.
Chapter 7
Danni
“So, what’s been going on with you lately? I feel like we never get to hang anymore,” I asked Sadie, who was busy at the mixing board.
“Nothing much really, just working my ass off for our guys, getting shit done. How about you? How’s it been going with Beau?” she asked me, smiling.
“It’s been amazing,” I said dreamily. “I don’t think I’ve been this happy in my whole life.”
“I can see that. Jesus Christ you’re glowing,” Sadie replied. “God my brother must be good in the sack to make you look all shiny and shit.”
I giggled and nudged her arm. “God, Sadie,” I laughed. “Seriously though, it’s been so wonderful being with him again. I love him so much.”
Sadie slid another button on the mixing board and stopped.
Turning to me, she smiled and said, “I know you do and as his sister I couldn’t be happier. He’s had a rough life, even before the big disaster in New York.”
“Yeah, he mentioned you two didn’t have it easy growing up,” I answered, not sure what else to say. Beau and I never talked about his past mainly because it made him angry to think about his mother and about how his father abandoned him. All I wanted was for him to be happy so he wouldn’t be tempted to drink again. However, I had to admit I was curious about his past beyond the band.
“Well knowing my brother I bet he’s not told you shit about how we were raised. Then again, why would he want to talk about it? The world became a better place when Sharon Cavanaugh kicked the fucking bucket,” she said, hatred brewing in her brown eyes.
This woman must have been truly evil because I couldn’t ever imagine hating my mother so much that I would be happy she was dead. I guess I got lucky.
“How did she die?” I asked softly.
Sadie snorted and replied, “Dumb bitch drove home drunk from the bar one night. Hit a van full of kids on their way home from some church function. Thankfully all of the kids were okay.”
“Oh Jesus,” I whispered, placing my hand on her arm. “I’m so sorry.”
“Don’t be, Danni. That woman was pure fucking evil and had put Beau and me through hell. She was abusive, neglectful, and just plain disgusting. There were days
she would get beaten or dumped by some loser and would get so drunk that she’d black out. When that happened she’d turn on me and Beau and beat the fuck out of us. He protected me as best as he could and took much more than I did in the beginning. It still hurts to remember watching him being beaten and kicked for something as simple as playing too loud or sneaking some food from the fridge so we could eat that day.”
I gasped and put my fingers over my lips. I felt a pain in my chest as I thought of a young Beau being hit and abused…it made me feel sick.
“Oh my God,” I said.
“Yeah, but I’m glad he got out when he did. He spent too much time taking care of me and protecting me that it made me so happy to know he would be away from here when the band took off.”
“Weren’t you afraid that she was going to turn on you when he left?” I asked.
“Of course, but I never let him see how scared I was. He only had to deal with our mother because none of the guys she fucked wanted to mess with him. I had to deal with her and all of her fuck buddies that would hit me or try even worse things. If Beau had known about that, he never would have left and we wouldn’t be here now. I’d gladly take it all over again if it meant my brother could get out of here and be free.”
“Wow, Sadie,” I said, the tears falling openly now, “You are fucking amazing, you know that? I can’t imagine growing up in fear like that. I was fortunate to have amazing parents that loved me.”
Sadie studied my face for a few seconds and then smiled.
Putting an arm around my shoulders, she said, “Yes you were. Every kid should grow up like that and if I ever have any, they are getting fucking spoiled.”
I laughed despite my tears. “That’s the way it should be.”
“Yep, spoiled rotten and never needing or wanting a thing. So,” she said, giving me a playful shove before returning to the mixing board, “speaking of little monsters, when are you and my brother going to crank one out and make me an aunt?”
I snorted out a laugh and said, “Um, Sadie, we’ve only been back together for just over a month. I don’t think that’s going to happen anytime soon.”
Reckless Redemption: A Bad Blooded Rebel Novel (Bad Blooded Rebel Series) Page 9
