by Violet Paige
It didn’t matter. He left. He walked right out that door, and probably straight to Faith, whoever in the hell she was.
Eleven
Faith opened the door. An oversized T-shirt hung off her shoulder and her blond pixie haircut shot in all directions. Mascara streamed down her face.
“Come here.” Bolt pulled her against his chest.
“I—I didn’t know what to do.” She sobbed into his shirt.
“Hey, it’s ok. You can call me anytime. You know that.” He let her cry a few more seconds before unwrapping her arms from his waist and leading her back to the living room.
It never got easier being here. He told Faith he could handle it, but he couldn’t. His chest tightened and a deep hollow opened in the bottom of his stomach. This was Riggs’s house. His best friend. His family. And he was gone.
“What happened?” He handed her a tissue and watched as she blotted her cheeks.
“I don’t know. I was going through some of his stuff in the closet today. I was thinking I needed to start packing it up or giving it away. It’s not doing anybody any good in the closet, right? And really I was doing great. But then I got ready for bed, and I looked in the closet. His side was empty, and I just lost it.”
Bolt prepared himself for the waterworks. Faith was a strong girl, but losing Riggs had chipped away at some of the resilience she once had. He knew it would tear Riggs’s heart to shreds if he saw her like this.
“I’m sure that was hard.” Bolt looked around the room. “Where did you put all his stuff?”
She sniffed. “I made piles. I even made a box for you, if you want it.”
Bolt felt the hollowness almost swallow the rest of his organs. All he could handle right now were the dog tags. He couldn’t bear to go through any of his friend’s belongings.
“Maybe I can pick it up later,” he suggested. “I just wanted to make sure you’re alright.”
She nodded, but he wasn’t convinced. Tears seeped from the corners of her eyes every time she attempted a smile. “I’m fine, Ben. Really, you can go back to whatever hot date you were on.”
He shook his head, remembering the way he left Skye. “No hot date. I’m here for you. That’s what Riggs would want.”
She clasped his hand. “Charlie would appreciate all of this, but he wouldn’t expect you to drop everything every time I call. I’m embarrassed I called you so late. I’m a mess.”
“Don’t be embarrassed. I wouldn’t have it any other way, ok?” He tapped the top of her nose with his forefinger.
“Ok.” She smiled.
“How about I take the couch tonight and maybe you can get some sleep? I’ll be right here if you need me.”
He could tell she was about to protest, probably out of customary response, but she nodded. “Thanks. I think I would sleep better.”
Bolt followed her to the linen closet in the hall and took a blanket and spare pillow from her.
“Night, Faith.” He wrapped a free arm around her shoulder.
“Good night, Ben.” She walked down the hall and closed the bedroom door behind her.
He sighed as he spread out on the couch, adjusting the pillow behind his head. This wasn’t the first night he had spent in Riggs’s house, but it had been awhile. He thought Faith was doing better. He thought he was doing better, but seeing her tears tonight brought a fresh wave of guilt. He hadn’t checked on her lately. He hadn’t stopped by to see if she needed help fixing anything, or if her car was running. Hell, he wasn’t her husband, Riggs was, but he had tried to fill in for his best friend by doing handyman things whenever he could.
Faith always seemed to cheer up when he was around and that made him feel better. Tonight was like she had gone back two years. The grief on her face brought back the pain from Riggs’s death.
Bolt stared at the ceiling. Sleeping on the couch wasn’t much, but he vowed to check in with her more and keep an eye on her. His deployment started in four weeks, until then he would be here for Faith. That’s what Riggs would want. He owed him that.
Twelve
Skye took a bite out of her sandwich, and sipped her diet drink. Children ran in front of the bench she had acquired. One of the perks of her job was that she didn’t always have to be tied to her desk, though she knew she was guilty of clinging to it more hours than most people would.
“Mommy, please can I get an ice cream? They have zebra striped kind and leopard spotted chocolate flavor. I’m sure they have your favorite too.”
Skye smiled at the little boy. He couldn’t be more than six, but he had already perfected the art of parent persuasion. His mother smiled at him before nodding and chasing him to the stand around the corner. That little boy was fast.
Skye was at the zoo. Greg hadn’t backed out of their agreement. It had been a week since he had offered it to her, and she kept waiting for the strings that were attached to whip her back to reality. He was up to something. She just couldn’t figure out what.
The night Greg offered the zoo file made her think about Ben. She hadn’t heard from him since he left her apartment. After the way the argument played out, she didn’t expect to, but it didn’t keep her from being disappointed that he didn’t call. In only twelve days she had fallen for his baby blue eyes and laugh. She just liked being around him, and she really loved kissing him. He made her feel things no other man had shown her. It was hard to forget nights like those.
She sighed. Kari had convinced her to go out with one of her friends from college, Dave.
Dave sounded like he would be a good date. He was an attorney and lived in La Jolla. They were supposed to meet for dinner Friday night. Skye knew her heart wasn’t in it. She was going through the motions to appease Kari. In the back of her head she hadn’t given up the idea Ben could call. Didn’t he want to apologize?
She looked down when she heard her phone ring, but the sudden surge of hope was stomped out when she saw her mother’s name on the screen.
“Hey, Mom.”
“Honey, they’re here. They’re watching me, and I just need a place to go. Can I come stay with you?”
“Wait. Slow down, Mom. Who is after you?” She tucked the rest of her sandwich in her wrapper and waited for the story.
“You know who. I told you they were watching me. All the time. Watching.”
Skye took a breath. “We’ve talked about this before. There is no one watching you. You are perfectly safe at the house.”
“I can stay with you though, and they won’t know where I am. California’s so far away and so big.”
“No, no, Mom. You can’t stay with me.” Skye thought about the last time her mother visited. They only left the apartment a few times. Her mother accused her neighbor of stealing coupons from her, and tried to claim that she had lost a dog. Skye’s mother never had a dog.
“Why won’t you let me visit? What kind of daughter are you?”
“I’m the kind of daughter who is working and can’t take time off right now. I’m planning a trip to North Carolina in the summer. Remember? We’re going to go to the beach and Aunt Rose is going with us.”
“Summer’s so far away, honey. I’d really like to drive out to California. I’ve never seen the country that way.”
“Drive?” Skye panicked. “You can’t drive here. It’s three thousand miles away. Just wait and I’ll be there before you know it.” Skye’s aunt hadn’t called in a long time, so she was under the impression her mother’s paranoia was under control. Clearly, she was wrong.
“I can drive, Skye. And if it’s the only way I can get out from under them, I will.”
“Who is ‘them’? Just tell me, and I’ll get them to leave you alone.”
Her mother laughed on the other end. “If I knew that, it wouldn’t be a secret.”
Skye watched as the little boy proudly marched in front of her, his zebra cone dripping on the pavement. She wondered why life had to be so complicated. Why did her mother have to have a mental illness that robbed her of her sanity? Why cou
ldn’t she be the mother she was when Skye was growing up? Why couldn’t she just take her medication?
“Right, that makes sense, Mom.” She didn’t know what else to say. She had hundreds of conversations like this one with her mother. With no siblings, it was on her to make sure her mother was ok. Aunt Rose was her biggest ally, but even she had her own children and husband to worry about. “Why don’t I call Aunt Rose and see what we can work out? How does that sound?”
“I guess that sounds alright.” Her mother hesitated. “You’ll call her?”
“Of course I will, as soon as we hang up.”
“Ok. All right, honey. I’ll see you soon.”
“Bye, Mom. Love you.” Skye tapped the red bar to end the call and rolled her head back. She saw a gondola rider skim over the trees above her.
This was why she needed the serenity of the zoo she thought. It brought a sense of peace to her otherwise spiraling family life. Her mother was on the other side of the country and every month seemed to be losing more of her grip on reality. Skye knew the inevitable was closer than she had planned. She was going to have to move home before the end of the year.
She picked up her phone and dialed. “Aunt Rose? Hey, yeah just got a call from mom and I need your help.”
Thirteen
“How does this look?” Bolt steadied himself on the ladder, keeping one finger on the painting. He tried to figure out what the shapes and colors made.
Faith giggled. “Good. There’s no way I could hang that thing by myself. Thanks, Ben.”
He let go of the corner, careful not to let the frame scratch the wall. He descended the ladder until both feet were on the floor.
It was some kind of abstract piece Faith had fallen in love with at an auction. Not only was she an art teacher at a middle school, but she was also an art connoisseur on the side. The house was full of sculptures and paintings.
“How about a beer? I bought a case of that stuff you like.” She nodded toward the kitchen.
“Actually, I have to get going.” He checked his watch again. “I’m meeting the guys. We’re testing out a new pilot.”
He collected his tools and stacked them in the bottom of the box. He had been by her place almost every other day for the past week. The toilet no longer leaked. The pantry shelf was level. The dishwasher didn’t stop mid-cycle. He felt pretty good about checking things off the broken and busted list.
Faith’s smile dropped. “Oh, ok.”
Bolt wished it were the kind of event he could let her tag along, but it was a vetting process for the squadron. There were strict rules on the closed nature of the interviews.
Faith needed to get out more. Other than teaching and her weekend outings to scout undiscovered art, she had become a recluse. It couldn’t be healthy for a girl as young and cute as her to hide from the world. But, he knew that wasn’t really his call to make. Riggs would want him to keep an eye on her, but her personal life was none of his business.
“Maybe another time.” He picked up the toolbox. “I’d invite you to go but—”
“No, you don’t have to explain.” She held up a hand. “I remember when Charlie rushed the squadron. He said I couldn’t come within five miles of the bar. I know the drill.”
Bolt chuckled. “Yeah, there is a no guest policy.” He reached for the door. “Can I do anything else before I go?”
“Ben, you’ve done so much.” Her eyes started to mist.
“It’s nothing.” He wanted to leave before she started to cry, but knew it would make him a total asshole if he left her with tears on her cheeks. “How about one beer? I’ve got time.”
“Really?” Her face lit up.
Bolt placed the toolbox by the doorframe. “I’m right behind you.” He followed her along the hall and toward the kitchen.
He paused in front of a picture of Riggs and Faith on the wall. It was one of their honeymoon shots from Hawaii. “I’m looking after her, buddy,” he mouthed at the photo. He shook his head hoping to God his friend would appreciate everything he was trying to do.
Faith twisted the top off a beer and placed it on the table. “Ok, so what’s the latest on your love life?”
“What?” Bolt choked on the beer. “I didn’t know I was going to get interrogated.”
“Hey, it’s me. I’m basically your sister. What’s going on? Any girls?”
Bolt tipped the beer back, letting the cool liquid slide down his throat. “There was one.”
“Was? What happened? She couldn’t handle you?” Faith giggled.
He shook his head. “No, I think I screwed it up. I’m not used to dating. I’m used to—”
Faith held up a hand. “I know exactly what you’re used to. You’ve got to stop sleeping around like you do. Tell me what happened with her.”
“I guess I did what I always do. I tried to get what I wanted and didn’t listen to her.” He took another sip.
“Ben, you’re really a sweet guy. Look at all this stuff you’ve done for me. You are absolutely boyfriend material, but you get in your own way. Can’t you just let yourself get attached to someone? Have some feelings? You know be a man, not a Neanderthal.”
Bolt chuckled. Faith didn’t cut any corners. “That’s pretty good advice. But you know my history. It wasn’t any different than Charlie’s. My parents hated each other. My high school girlfriend cheated on me. What’s the point?”
“The point is this.” Faith opened her arms in the kitchen. “You get to share the best parts of your life with someone. You get to build a home and fill it with love and romance, all that stuff that’s in movies. I know people feel sorry for me because Charlie’s gone, and I have days when I still feel sorry for myself, but I wouldn’t trade a single second of my time with him. And if Charlie was here, he would say the same thing. I know he would.”
Bolt nodded. “He absolutely would. He loved you more than anything on this planet.”
“And that’s what you need, Ben. Fall in love. Stop running and being scared of it. Maybe you screwed up your chance with that girl, but find another one and take the leap. You have a damn dangerous job and you’re not afraid to risk your life for the guys in your squadron. Don’t tell me you’re scared to risk your heart.”
He placed his empty bottle on the table. “Thanks for the beer, sweetheart.” He stood to leave.
“Did I say too much?” Faith reached up for a hug.
“No, I think you said some things I need to think about.”
“Good.” She loosened her grip on his waist. “Have fun tonight. Maybe you’ll meet a girl.” She giggled.
He knew then that he had fucked up everything good he had with Skye. For once a beautiful and intelligent woman had become a part of his life and he threw it away for nothing. But now it was too late to try to call her. If he was going to fix anything his chance had passed. He shook his head. It would be awhile before he got back in that situation again, but damn if he didn’t regret what he had done.
Bolt made sure the toolbox was snug against the cab. He waved at Faith. She was standing in the doorway. The squadron had ten candidates and only two slots for new pilot positions. The new guys, whoever they would be, wouldn’t even join until the squadron was back from deployment. That was more than six months from now. Most of the time they took the candidates to the O-club, but after seven interviews it was time to shake things up. Hollywood heard about a new club opening downtown. Everyone agreed a change of scenery would be good. Plus, free drinks made everyone happy.
Vetting new guys was part of squadron life, but Bolt was tired of it. It felt like the same tired routine every time. At least tonight they would be hanging out somewhere new.
Free drinks meant lots of drinks. He decided tonight was a no driving kind of night. He changed at home then walked across the street to the trolley stop on the other side of the mall. The trolley would take him into the heart of downtown.
He rode into the city, watching as the lights blurred past the trolley windows. A
s the trolley wound through the downtown rail system, Bolt stood to make his stop. According to his directions, the club was on the edge of the Gaslamp district. It would be busy.
There was a line outside of the club. Hollywood was upfront and waved him down. “Bolt, dude, we’re up here.”
He dodged angry girls in stilettos to hit the front of the line. “How did you get all the way up here?” There must have been a hundred people behind them.
Hollywood grinned. “Everyone loves Little Ricky.”
“You didn’t.” Bolt shook his head.
“It’s all about the star power, baby.”
“You did.” Bolt sighed. Hollywood used his ten-minutes of fame any place he could. He wasn’t about to tell him he didn’t want to stand at the back of the line, but still this was crazy.
The bouncer lifted the velvet rope and ushered them into Splash. The bar had an aquatic theme. Parts of the floor were cut away and replaced with glass. Bolt noticed goldfish swimming under his feet. Lights flashed under coral and shells.
“You made it.” Eagle slapped him on the back. “This place is crazy, isn’t it?”
“Yeah.” Bolt looked around. “So where is this guy? Have you already grilled him? I don’t even know his name.” He looked past an aquarium that spanned the length of the bar. He thought there might be sharks swimming inside.
“Goes by Hammer. I don’t know his call sign story yet. He was just at the bar.” Eagle squinted. “Oh shit. He’s over there.” He pointed past the sharks to a high-top table.
“Why did you say ‘oh shit’?” Bolt followed his friend’s stare.
“Shit.”
Hollywood walked toward them. “What’s going on?”
“Over there.” Eagle nodded.
Hollywood shook his head. “Shit. What are you going to do, man?”
Bolt decided not to answer. He wasn’t prepared for the adrenaline that pumped through his body. It was possible the vein on the side of his neck was noticeably throbbing. He didn’t have a plan other than to walk toward the table. That, and undo everything from two weeks ago.
