by V. Theia
“You’re such a little shit,” he gruffed and hooked a hand around the back of my neck, forcing me up on my toes where his mouth crashed mine in a fast, heated meeting of lips.
“Does this mean you locked us in here, so we can make out?” I’m horny and hopeful. He swept my hand and dragged it down, making me cup him.
“Feel what you made hard.”
I moaned giving him a nice hard squeeze to the very thick dick.
God. I’m dizzy with lust.
I want him to throw me down on the floor, mount me like a dog and just dig into me until I can’t breathe from screaming his name.
He radiated pure masculinity, the kind that riled my underwear to heights not on any scale, it saturated the air with a palpable, primal earthiness and despite the location I was in a mood to climb my villain and plant my flag in him.
We’re with his family, so it’s unlikely. Boo.
He moved our hands together. A dense pleasured groan puffed out of his mouth with the over the clothes joint hands jacking we were giving him.
It was so fricking hot my eyes steamed over.
“I touch you because this is what you do to me,” he shared through his clenched teeth. Bringing my hand up much too soon I whimpered for him to put it back, but he placed it this time over his thumping heart. “I touch you because you make this beat,” now I’m swooning, and tears stung the back of my eyes.
It’s like my emotions don’t know what to do with themselves.
Fucking villain sperm.
Through all this it’s Noah who has had the chief life changer of all changes and yet it’s he who has taken it all in his stride. He’s not having a crisis a day over why he feels the way he does. He accepted and embraces the emotional adjustment and talked me down off ledges almost daily.
I felt like crap now.
I rested my forehead to his pec. “I’m sorry, lion. I’m stupid.”
“You’re scared. And if I must remind you what you mean to me, so you understand, I will. Just talk to me. There’s nothing we can’t fix.”
God. He’s amazing.
I let him maul me all he wanted for the rest of the day.
And much later when the whole gang were parked in the large leather recliners in the media room to watch a movie, Noah pulled me into his lap before I could choose my seat. We shared snacks and a soda, and I soon fell to sleep burrowed against him with Noah stroking my outer thigh.
It’s later still I felt him lifting me in his arms, my face buried in his neck, I’m too sleepy to rouse awake, but I heard him say, “I’m putting her to bed.”
“Are you coming back for the rematch?” They’d been playing video games for hours.
“No. I’m going to bed, too.”
After he tucked me in and I curled into his chest it’s the last I know until the morning.
SIXTEEN
There’s no shit without a storm, my momma would say.
And she’d be right.
Saturday morning started early. In a house with three kids under five we’re all up with god and then the man curled behind me stirred other parts of me and we spent more than an hour on pleasure with me facing the headboard, holding on for dear life trying to muffle my sounds, so everyone didn’t know how hard Noah was nailing me to the bed.
Sitting at the breakfast bar bleary eyed I half listened to one of the kids telling me a story of I can’t even remember. It was thrilling and loud, that’s all I know.
Kids were so noisy all the time, with only one level of hyper.
And it hit me. This was going to be me for the next eighteen years.
Noah arrived back from his seven trillion miles beach run, he headed towards me soon as he was through the door, the smirk on his face saying he knew exactly why I’m tired and we shared a chaste good morning kiss before he headed up to shower then we had plans to sit on the beach for a while.
Thank god I brought my kindle and tablet.
I can read a little and work a little.
I’m not overly busy lately, but what work I have I’m slowly catching up on.
Changed into a baby pink bikini with an ankle length sheer sarong around my waist and a cute pair of white flip flops, I’m set for the beach with my bag, shades pushed up into my hair and a bottle of sun screen in my hand.
I saw clearly Maxine was suffering with a massive hangover.
I should have just walked out.
Hindsight was a big bitch.
“Are you coming down to the beach, Max? I can watch the boys for you.” For how sarcastic she’d been all night I thought it was a generous offer.
I have to say she’s not a mean person, we’ve always gotten along well, she’s fun, and outgoing, and I’ve liked her since we met, but I’d be lying if I said I’m happy to be around her currently. I don’t get her reasoning for her to question Noah and I the way she has.
The tension had been dense between her and Noah, I knew they’d had words last night, but he didn’t share with me what they were, only that Maxine tried to grill him, and he set her straight.
So, I didn’t expect she’d come with us.
She shook her head, “Thanks, but I’m gonna hang here.”
I was almost out the door. I should never have paused to catch her eyes on me. Like she was trying to work out what voodoo I’d fashioned to make her gay brother into me.
“Max. Are you really having a hard time accepting me and Noah?”
The room seemed to dim of all noise. Noah’s parents were doing things in the kitchen, getting ready for the cook out tonight. Maxine’s husband, Johnny, was sitting at the breakfast bar drinking coffee and holding his infant son and all eyes came at me at once.
“Just leave it, Sena, okay.”
“I can’t leave it when you have this face on you like we’re breaking the law or something.”
“I think you’re going to get hurt. There. Okay.”
Wow. Okay. Finally, we had the truth. And what made her statement worse was she looked sorry for me. Like Noah was somehow fooling me.
I shook my head and inhaled.
“Let me ask you,” everyone was listening now. My eyes trained on Maxine sipping OJ delicately. “Why is it so hard for you to accept he loves me? That regardless of his previous lifestyle, and our differences we fell for one another. We love being together, it’s not just a hook up. A stupid mistake or a fling. We have real feelings attached.”
“He’s gay, Sena. How can you not see this whole thing will hurt you when he decides to go back to being gay again.”
That was a one-two punch to my belly.
I felt sick.
But I also felt violently angry.
How could she even think that of her brother?
He’s never been that person to fucking hurt someone else, not in any relationship and he wouldn’t start with me.
Me most of all. I fucking knew this absolutely.
“You really think a lot of Noah. In fact, you think so little of him I’m actually fucking hurt for him right now.” Maxine went to speak, and I held up my hand. I’d heard enough. “I’m talking now. I gave you … I gave everyone the benefit of the doubt, because this is new for you. It’s fucking new for us, excuse my language, Tess. You’ve had your chance to voice your concerns and we each told you the truth. That’s the end of it. If you have a problem with our relationship that’s your problem, Maxine. I hear one more word from you and it’s going to be problematic between us. Because you see, you think Noah and I are up for discussion, that somehow we’ve thrown our relationship into this ring you feel you have a right to speak on.” God, I could feel my blood simmering under my skin. I was aware of the room growing deathly silent and even the arrival of Noah from upstairs didn’t slow me down. “So, if that’s the case, I’ll take a say on when you get laid. That seems fair, right, Johnny?” I directed this to her husband who seemed as though he was biting back a grin at the idea. “I’m thinking you can bang your wife on a Monday, 8-10. That fair?” Again,
I looked to Tess, I’d be mortified later for how I was speaking in front of Noah’s mom. “Sorry, Tess.” She shook her head with a smile. I took it as consent to go on.
“What’s going on?” Noah’s voice was steel.
“That’s not what—”
“It’s exactly what, Max!” My voice rose to banshee levels.
“That’s enough now, Maxie. We told you to leave this alone,” Vito spoke up. “Let’s all just calm down, okay? And have a nice day together.”
I was so over spending any more time here.
Noah’s hand rested on the base of my neck, holding me gently, giving me support.
“We’re really still on this?” He fired at his sister. “After everything I said?” Curiosity nipped at me, I wanted to know what he told her. “Jesus Christ. I’m done talking about it, Max. But don’t come at Sena again, I mean it. Kitten, let’s go for a drive.”
“She thinks you’re going to cheat on me,”
Noah cursed the air blue. “Are you for fucking real?”
At least Maxine had the good grace to appear shamed.
“She cares for you, Noah. Go easy, okay?” Warned Johnny.
Noah ignored his brother in law and stared at his sister. “I have feelings for one woman in my life and you think I’m gonna turn into a fucking prick cheater? What am I doing, Max? Just fucking around with Sena of all people? My Sena! You know more than anyone how I feel about her, what she’s always meant to me, you asked me two fucking years ago, remember? I told you then, I told you last night what she means to me and you hit me with this again? I’m going to say it one last time. This is none of your fucking business.”
Two years ago? What was he going on about? I frowned seeing Max nod, her face flamed red.
Noah went on, his tone biting. He could get cold real damn fast, I’d just never witnessed it with his sisters before. “You know what she means to me and this is how you come at her? Fucking unbelievable. Because that’s what all queers do, we cheat?”
“Okay. Shit is getting heated now, why don’t we chill out,” Johnny said, holding his son to his chest, who was oblivious to the tension in the house as he munched on a malted cookie.
“We’re having a baby.” I blurted. The words falling off my tongue unguarded. I hadn’t even planned to tell them now.
Air sucked out of the room.
Noah’s heat along my back calmed me, his hand stayed on my neck, fingers flexing.
I held Maxine’s eyes, just daring her to say another word of how she thought her queer brother was a second away from dropping his new hobby of me and cheating with the nearest man.
“So, I’ll get right on that fucking someone else now, huh, sis?”
Max exhaled hard, her eyes wide, looking towards her brother.
“Oh, honey,” beamed Tess. Tears in her eyes.
At least one person could show us happiness.
As for me, I was so over this whole fucking day. I turned, making Noah’s hand drop, without looking at him, I informed him I’d be on the beach and I left, not looking back or hearing all the voices raised at the same time as I took the long walk way directly down to the sand.
Walking. Walking. Walking.
This wouldn’t upset me, I decided, swiping a tear from my cheek.
~*~*~
Even on the soft sand and the rushing of blue waves in front of me I heard him approach. Maybe it’s my heart so attuned to Noah I sense wherever he is.
He crouched behind me silently and wrapped both arms around my chest, his head buried in my hair he rasped. “We can leave and go home, baby.”
I gave a dismissal shake of my head, absorbing his heat along my spine.
That would be like locking the barn door after the horse had bolted.
It was done now.
Maybe he heard something in my silence because he went on. His tone gentler than I’ve heard before. And Noah has been damn gentle with me many times.
“We are stronger than any impact whispering to tear us apart, Sena. Unbreakable. We can be airtight against everyone who thinks they have a say. They don’t. Trust me. Let me take you home.”
“We can’t leave every place when someone doesn’t agree with us, Noah. We’d be constantly on the move.” He squeezed my shoulder; his sigh gusted the side of my hair. Our fingers locked over my chest. “Love shouldn't require us to leave our lives behind, so we can be together, so others can't interfere with something they don't understand.”
“Tell me you don’t buy into what Max is saying.” I told him instantly I didn’t. Doesn’t mean it hurts any less. I hate more that she thinks her own brother would cheat on anyone. “You set my heart on fire, Sena. We began with friendship, now I want to give you romance.”
I ached for it. I wanted every drop of Noah romance.
“For a smart woman your sister is dumb as a rock,” he chuckled by my ear, giving me a squeeze of his strong arms. He kissed the side of my head. “I had to get out of there before I thumped her with my bottle of sun screen. To say you’d cheat. To assume you’d cheat on any partner is offensive to my ears.”
My voice came out small, holding back angry tears I didn’t want to fall, but most of all in front of him. “I’m trying to understand and be patience, this crap is so much harder than I envisioned, Noah.” His tenderness compressed my chest. “I’m really trying.” Other doubts poised on my tongue, somehow won’t fall.
We sat silently for minutes, watching the ocean.
“How could I know what we’d have, kitten? My beautiful, perfect, maddening friend who I fucking worship the ground she walks on. I was as surprised as you were. But I know this; I’ve been moving toward you my entire life. I just didn’t know it. And now I’m here, I’ll stop anyone who tries to interfere.”
I wanted to believe him instantly, inexplicably.
My heart was practically begging me to reach out and touch him, so we can feel him again.
Should being in love have so many obstacles in the way to happiness?
I used to dream about Noah falling in love with me and everyone was so happy for us. The reality was nothing like I thought it would be.
“And how do we do that? Move away from family and friends?”
“If that’s what you wanted.”
I’m taken aback by his immediate response. I swerved around on my knees, so I can see him. His face reads as serious.
I’ve always known my place was with Noah.
In one form or another. I filled the best friend position four years ago and I wasn’t giving it up to anyone. That was my role, or so I thought.
I just never feasibly weighed in being his lover was one of those options.
I figured one day I’d be best woman at his wedding.
I’d babysit his adopted/surrogate kids.
Now we’re talking in terms of us being together together. And the kid in question is nestled deeply inside my belly quietly cooking while my brain was going through a series of seizures because I fricking want to tell him yes let’s get away from everything. But any sensible adulting adult knows that’s not realistic.
We can’t live our life that way. Nor would I want to.
And yet still, my traitorous … everything, whispered for me to go for it. Fuck everyone else, all we needed was each other.
The rub of it all, he kissed my soul, leaving an indelible stain behind so whatever negativity that comes our way, I’m all in.
I am his. I can’t help but be his. The rest is just details.
Our details that no one else should have a say in and yet everyone seemed to voice their negativity against us. For what reason, I don’t know. Maybe they hate happiness.
“That’s not going to work.”
“I’ll make any-fucking-thing work, Sena. I’m only waiting for you to tell me yes, that this is what you want, too. Say it and I’ll make anything happen.”
Christ almighty he doesn’t play fair. Not when one of the chess pieces is my terrified heart.
My wanting, begging heart.
“Do you feel this, between us?” he spoke with his lips brushed to my throat sending flickers of heat along my body.
“Yes.” I managed.
“It’s real and it’ so fucking hot it burns through me, kitten. It’s the good kind of flames, the kind that won’t be destroyed. Let me take on your worries and you enjoy this feeling we have made between us.” His husky voice raked over my heart and nestled itself right there where he belonged.
Every word he ever gave me meant something. I was only just realizing. I leaned into him and sighed his name. what we had was real and it was alive as any love affair was.
We stayed cuddled on the sand for a few hours, until he took me to get food from a diner not far.
Noah and I were in a good place when it’s just him and I.
It’s all the outside disturbance that bothered me the most.
So, what I do next, when he’s running an errand for shellfish with his dad comes suddenly.
I wrote him a nice loving note and placed it on the bed we’ve been sharing, telling him I’ll see him back in Manhattan on Monday.
And I take his car and I left for the airport.
My plane ticket for Carolina changed.
I was going home.
SEVENTEEN
“So, now you’ve eaten four of your gramma-Mae’s blueberry and cherry muffins, are you gonna tell me what brings you home a day earlier than expected?” quizzed my momma. To be fair, she’d held off on asking me for hours.
Nothing much got by Bonnie Black.
Bloodhound was named after her. She could smell a problem waiting to be solved a mile away. She was also a terrible gossip and hated waiting.
Wiping crumbs from my mouth, I drank the last of the freshly made pink lemonade. Taking the glass, I put it into the dishwasher. Some habits were hard to break, and she’d smack my knuckles with a wooden spoon if I didn’t clean up after myself.
I turned back to where she was sitting at the large oak table in the larger kitchen.
The heart of my family home.
I was relaxed the moment I stepped onto our porch when the cab dropped me off.
