“Mom, come on. You don’t need my drama now.”
Sherry laughed. “Actually, honey that might be exactly what I do need.” It was. Sherry had spent the last twelve hours feeling out of control and helpless. She still was reeling from the experience. Knowing that Emma’s father would likely be back to himself soon was a relief. Being unable to do anything to help had been maddening and disconcerting. Sherry Bronson was the caretaker of the Bronson family. For the first time in a long time, something had been completely out of her control to affect. She needed to feel in control of something. She needed to feel helpful, not helpless.
“Mom,” Emma said again. “You don’t need to worry about me.”
“Of course, I do,” Sherry said. She sighed deeply. “Emmie…I spent all night feeling like my world was crashing down and there wasn’t a damn thing I could do about it.”
“Dad’s going to be okay. What could you have done?”
“I know, but that is the worst feeling,” Sherry said quietly.
“What is?”
“Being helpless to do anything about it,” Sherry said. “I couldn’t change the outcome, Emmie. I just had to pray it would work out.” Emma nodded and looked into her teacup. “Emmie?” her mother called.
Emma looked back at her mother with a halfhearted smile. “I understand that feeling,” she said softly.
“What feeling?” Sherry asked.
“Feeling helpless. I feel that way a lot lately,” Emma confessed.
Sherry sighed. “Emmie,” she said. “It takes time sometimes, honey.”
Emma looked up. “I know that. It’s just that I can’t do anything about it.”
“What does Addy say?” Sherry wondered.
Emma smiled. “Addy? She just says it will happen next time. I just hate not being able to do anything about it.”
“Mm. Probably how she feels too,” Sherry said.
“I don’t know.”
“Emma, no one can control life. That’s one of the hardest things to accept,” Sherry said. Emma closed her eyes. “I felt that tonight with your father. I couldn’t do anything but pray and trust everything would work out. Life and death are very much the same in that way. They happen in their own time, sweetheart,” she said as she took Emma’s hand. Emma nodded, but Sherry could see her daughter beginning to struggle with tears. “Go on now and get some rest. Things will work out. You’ll see. Staying up all night worrying about it isn’t going to make it happen any faster,” she said.
“You need to take your own advice,” Emma replied.
“I will be right behind you. Now, go on.”
Emma made her way to her mother and kissed her on the head. “I love you, Mom.”
“I love you too, Emmie. Go on now. Trust me, one day you won’t have any choice in the sleepless nights,” Sherry winked.
Emma forced a smile as she headed toward her old bedroom. “I hope so,” she muttered.
Sherry picked up their tea cups. “Worry wart. You haven’t seen anything yet,” she mused with a chuckle. Trust me.
***
Addison rolled over when she felt Emma slip into bed. She moved to kiss Emma on the cheek and pulled back when she tasted Emma’s tears on her lips. “Em?” Emma didn’t answer. Emma moved into Addison’s arms and nestled against her. “It’s okay. He’ll be hassling you before you know it. Everything is going to be okay.”
Emma began to cry harder and Addison tightened her hold. “It's all right, Em. Come on, don’t cry. I’m right here.”
“I’m sorry,” Emma barely managed the words.
“You are exhausted, honey. I know it’s been a long night. Come on, let me hold you. Go to sleep, Em,” Addison whispered.
Emma’s tears continued to fall. She had reached emotional overload. The safety of Addison’s arms broke open the dam she had resurrected in the last weeks. Emma could not remember a time in her life when she had felt so utterly helpless. She had been over a thousand miles away from her family when the call came from her mother. She couldn’t reach them. She couldn’t comfort her mother when her mother had needed her. Emma had heard her mother’s words and she understood them. Somehow, she still felt helpless. She could no longer pretend that she felt in control. She didn’t have to pretend anything for Addison. Yet, she had been doing exactly that for weeks—pretending.
“Em,” Addison said as she stroked her wife’s back. “Come on, what is going on, honey?”
“I just…I’m sorry, Addy. I wish I could make it all happen.”
Addison sighed as the realization hit her. She had suspected that Emma was disappointed that they had yet to conceive. She also guessed that Emma was worried about timelines and the show. As Emma continued to cry in her arms, Addison closed her eyes and kissed Emma’s head. “Sorry? Oh, Em. Why didn’t you talk to me?”
“What if it takes even longer?”
“What if it does?” Addison answered.
“Addy, the end of filming this season will be here before you know it and…”
Addison moved and pulled Emma to face her. “I told you when we decided to start a family that I would end the show if it came down to that.”
“Addy…”
“Emma, it’s a television show. It’s not forever. It’s not our whole life. I love it. I am proud of it,” Addison said. She watched in the faint light as Emma shook her head sadly. “I don’t love anything or anyone more than I love you,” Addison reminded her wife. “I will make it work. I made it work for Bellson,” Addison chuckled. She heard an anxious giggle escape Emma’s lips.
“You’re not disappointed?” Emma asked.
Addison kissed Emma. “Sure, I am,” she admitted. Emma closed her eyes again. “But,” Addison continued, “I know it’s just a matter of time. Just think of it as practice in patience,” she said. Emma looked back at her. “Something I have a feeling we will both need to get better with,” Addison laughed. Emma finally smiled. “Now, come on. Your dad is going to be all right. We’re here. We are okay. A few hours ago we had no idea what we would be facing. Seems to me we have a lot to look forward to. Just relax.”
Emma fell back into Addison’s embrace. “Thank you,” she said softly.
“I love you, Emma. No matter what.”
“I know. I love you too.”
***
Tom Bronson bristled when Sherry tried to help him to the couch. “I didn’t break my legs,” he grumbled. Emma and Addison tried not to laugh.
“No,” Sherry said. “You had a heart attack.”
Tom groaned again. “I’m fine.”
Sherry arched an eyebrow at her husband and grimaced. “Don’t push me, Thomas.”
“I think this is the part where you say yes, dear,” Addison told her father-in-law. Emma snickered as her father mumbled something unintelligible under his breath.
Sherry laughed. “Listen to your daughter-in-law.”
“Using my own advice against me,” he looked at Addison.
“Hey, it’s kept me out of the dog house on occasion,” Addison said. Emma whacked her gently. “You were headed for the neighbor’s back yard,” Addison told Tom. “And, out here? That’s like six miles away,” she reminded him. Emma and Sherry laughed.
“Just take it easy,” Sherry warned her husband. “That stent might be metal. It doesn’t make you Iron Man.” She looked at him and he sighed in frustration. Emma watched as her mother leaned in and kissed her father tenderly on the lips. “Please, Tommy,” she said just loud enough that Emma and Addison were able to hear her. He closed his eyes in resignation and kissed Sherry back softly.
Addison tugged Emma’s hand and led her into the kitchen. The tender interaction between Emma’s parents had affected her deeply. She remembered her parents’ affectionate interactions when she was a child. It had been years since she had felt any affection from her father. It was as if when her mother died, his light had been extinguished too. Addison sucked in a ragged breath as a chill passed through her. She couldn’t help b
ut wonder how she would react if it that were Emma one day. How would she go on without the woman beside her?
“Addy?” Emma called.
“Yeah, sorry.”
“You okay?” Emma asked.
“Yeah,” Addison smiled as Sherry walked into the kitchen clearly exasperated.
“Mom?” Emma looked at her mother.
“He really is impossible,” Sherry said. Emma smiled. “I have no idea how I am going to keep him down.”
“Well, maybe we can help with that,” Addison suggested. Emma and Sherry both looked at her curiously. “We have a few weeks off. If you can stand us hanging around, I thought maybe we could stay for a couple. Make sure we keep him in line.” Emma looked at Addison with grateful eyes. Addison winked at her.
“You two have your life in California,” Sherry said.
“Yeah, but who would pass up a few weeks in the wheat fields,” Addison joked. Sherry huffed. “It’s not an imposition,” Addison said. “If we are imposing on you, that’s different.”
“Mom?” Emma looked over at her mother.
“You two have things going on in your lives,” Sherry said with a smile.
“Nothing that can’t wait a few weeks,” Emma said. She hadn’t expected Addison to make the offer, but it didn’t surprise her. Emma had planned to ask Addison if she would mind staying in Kansas at least for the next week. Her brothers both had children and that made their lives always chaotic. Emma knew that they would check in, but her nephews were young and energetic. They would have a hard time being around their grandfather and understanding his inability to horse play with them as he usually did. Addison could help with that. Emma could help her mother. She hadn’t needed to ask Addison. Addison had already surmised the situation. Emma grinned thinking that Addison would have put the show on hold had they not already been on hiatus. Family first. Always family first.
Sherry smiled at the couple before her. She continued to be amazed by their relationship. It had not been what she had envisioned for Emma. She never resisted Emma’s path. Addison and Emma fit. It was undeniable to anyone who spent time with them. Sherry was well aware that the pair had already had a few bumps in their road. She’d even heard them argue a couple of times. It never lasted. Somehow, they always met in the middle. It reminded her of her own marriage. She and Tom came from different worlds, so did Addison and Emma. For some people, that was a major obstacle to overcome. Once in a while, it provided the perfect complement for a marriage. That was the case for her daughter.
“I would love for you to stay,” Sherry admitted. “But, only if you are both sure.”
“Positive,” Addison promised. “I think I will go keep Iron Man company in the other room,” she said.
“Oh, God, don’t give him any more delusions—please,” Sherry chuckled.
“Promise. I will keep him grounded,” Addison said as she headed off.
“Thank you, Emmie,” Sherry said sincerely.
“Don’t thank me,” Emma said with a broad smile. “Thank Addy. I hadn’t even brought the subject up yet.” Sherry nodded. “Besides, I will be glad to just be home for a while.”
“You seem in better spirits,” Sherry observed.
Emma kept smiling. “I am. Just going with the flow,” Emma said. “If anything, Addison reminded me how lucky we really are. Dad’s still here. We are all together.”
“Yes, we are.”
“And, I think this is good for her too,” Emma said. “Staying here for a bit.”
“I take it things with her father are still not good,” Sherry guessed.
“I’m not sure that is a bridge she can mend,” Emma explained sadly. “But, she will keep trying.”
Sherry nodded her understanding. “Well, I know he won’t admit it, but your father will be thrilled to have you both here. Addison as much as you.”
Emma laughed. She had no doubt of the truth of her mother’s statement. Whenever she and Addison visited, Addison and her father would take off on some excursion. It seemed that Tom sensed Addison’s loneliness when it came to family. Emma continued to marvel at the evolution of her father over the last few years. She looked at her mother. “Mom?”
“Yeah?”
“Dad…He’s different than he was when we were kids,” Emma said cautiously.
Sherry giggled a bit and directed Emma to take a seat at the kitchen table. “It’s funny. With me, he has always been what you see now,” Sherry said. “I think that part of him had this idea of what a father was supposed to be. That probably came from your Gran and Gramp. He had to be the provider. That included providing you with some strict guidance,” she laughed. “I think when Andrew came, that all started to change.”
Emma thought about her mother’s observation. It was true, she realized. If she took a minute to examine the change in her father, it had happened around the time her first nephew was born. “How come?” she asked her mother curiously.
Sherry shrugged. “Being a grandparent is different,” she said honestly. “Our parents are gone. Our children are parents. It’s a different perspective, I guess. Life passes quickly, Emmie. You just start not wanting to miss any of it. Maybe you start enjoying it more,” she said. Emma smiled. “I wish we could’ve learned that earlier.” Sherry laughed. “You spend so much time trying to be what you think you are supposed to be, so much time worrying about things you can’t control…Sometimes you forget to just live,” Sherry said. “You love your kids. Sometimes you forget to enjoy them and then you look and they are parents themselves,” she said.
“I know he loves Addy.”
“Yes, he does. That’s because Addy loves you so much, Emma. There is comfort in knowing that your children are safe without you. One day, you realize that you won’t be there forever to protect them.”
“Don’t get any ideas about leaving any time soon,” Emma warned her mother playfully.
“Oh, no,” Sherry said. “There is the torture clause in grandparentdom. I am not missing out on that. Neither will your father.”
“Torture clause?” Emma asked.
“Yep. Ask your brothers,” Sherry laughed.
Emma watched her mother as she moved to the refrigerator. Jackson and I need to have a conversation.
Chapter Five
“I have no idea what she is planning,” Jeff told Don Bellson.
“You need to find that out, Jeffrey,” Bellson said.
Jeff shook his head. “There is the possibility of killing off Dan’s character,” Jeff told the man seated before him.
Don Bellson cackled. “Kill off the one popular male character?”
“It’s logical,” Jeff said.
“Did Blake tell you that was her plan?” Bellson asked.
“Not definitively, no.”
“Not at all,” Bellson said harshly. “Dan stays. So, I suggest you get Blake on the horn and figure out what the hell she is going to do or move that damn episode to the end…and get filling in the hole—yesterday.”
Jeff tried to press down his frustration. “She hasn’t led you astray yet,” he defended Addison. “What is your problem with Addison?”
“I don’t have a problem with her. I have a problem with her wishy-washiness. She might be talented, Jeffrey. She is not a shark. Pretty fishes get eaten in this pond. You know that as well as I do.”
Jeff pursed his lips. He had long suspected that many of Bellson’s issues with the show surrounded his frustration in dealing with Addison, not as a writer but as a woman. Addison had proved her skills as both a writer and a producer time and again since Off Screen had begun. She was the go-to person for issues with the cast and crew. She also had won over more than a handful of sponsors with her candor and her wit. People liked Addison. People wanted to do business with people they felt they could trust. That was a fact that Jeff had learned early on in his career. All the ego and posturing in the world could not eclipse the reality that no one wanted to do business with someone they lacked confidence in. Off Scree
n remained immensely popular in the public view. Sandra and Dan had sizeable followings. That was a bonus. The undeniable fact was that Emma was the star, the center of the show. And, Emma was as hot of a commodity off the screen as she was on it. Addison had not diminished Emma’s star, their relationship had captured the imagination of as many people as the show itself.
In his career, Jeff had confronted misogyny more than once. It remained a business dictated largely by men, so much so that it was often difficult to find qualified female directors and even writers. The writing staff for Off Screen still remained predominately male. And, in three seasons they had only employed three women directors in spite of his efforts. Bellson had never made such an obvious gender-related comment about Addison before. “Pretty fishes,” said it all for Jeff. He rubbed his forehead and exhaled a frustrated breath. “I’ll talk to her,” he managed to reply civilly.
“You do that,” Bellson said. “Dan in a non-negotiable. So, I suggest you put that to bed right up front. Get the answer,” Bellson directed Jeff as he returned his attention to some papers on his desk.
“They are not due back from Kansas until next week,” Jeff reminded the studio executive.
“I assume Blake still has her phone,” Bellson commented without looking up from his desktop. “Use yours and call hers.” Jeff stood still and shook his head for a moment. Bellson looked up slightly. “Something else you needed?” he asked.
Jeff pursed his lips. “No.” He walked out of Don Bellson’s office and groaned. “Asshole.”
***
Emma walked into her mother’s kitchen and sat gingerly in a chair. “Where’s Addy?” she asked her mother.
Sherry turned and looked at Emma. Emma had her face in her hands. “She took your father out fishing for a few hours. He needs some air,” Sherry said. “Emma? Are you feeling all right?”
Emma was quiet for a minute. “Not really, no.”
“Emma?”
“I don’t know. Just feeling queasy.”
Sherry regarded her daughter silently for a moment. “Queasy?”
Casting Call (Off Screen Book 5) Page 5
