Jaxon reached out and placed a hand on my knee. The stillness around Ric was palpable. Jaxon's fingers massaged my leg as his eyes fixed on mine and for a second I didn't know how to stop him.
"I haven't changed," he whispered. "I'm still the man you fell in love with. Just not doing what you thought I was doing, that's all. I know you freaked out at the end, and you have no idea how upset I was to see you go through that, but also how fucking proud I was of you for staying true to yourself. We're not meant for that world, baby. You and I are the good guys. I tried to tell you that, remember?"
Yeah, I did remember.
"Once this all gets sorted and the people involved get put away for life, we can turn our backs on this forever. You and me and the baby. That's what you want."
Was it?
"Remember how we used to watch old movies on a Sunday?" Jaxon asked, as Ric sucked in a noisy breath of air. "Black and whites," Jaxon added. "How we'd quote Sinatra or Dean for the rest of the evening. When you wore that Grace Kelly dress I bought you, baby, I almost cried."
I nodded. He had almost cried.
"Do you remember brunch at Angelo's Restaurant. How you wanted to see what that luxury yacht looked like inside. You were so embarrassed when I approached the deckhand and bribed him for a private tour."
I smiled. It was tremulous, but I had been so embarrassed at the time.
"Remember what we did in the captain's cabin?"
"Jaxon," I warned. This was not the sort of thing he should be reminiscing about.
Not here. Not right now.
"Do you think they found your thong?"
"I think that's enough," Ric said, voice level, but I detected the strain. Maybe no one else did, but I knew Ric. "She's recovered, give her some space."
I'd known him for three years.
"Why don't you give her some space."
We may not have met face to face, I may not have heard his voice until just this week. But I knew Ric.
"Amber and me have a hell of a lot of memories to go over, so if you can't stand the visual, Shaw, then why don't you just fuck off."
And I had a hell of a lot of memories with him. My Ric. Always been mine, even when I didn't know it.
"That's enough, Jaxon," I said, stilling everyone in the room. I lifted my eyes up to his, saw the expectancy, saw the anticipation. Saw the over confident gleam.
"I'm glad you're not dead," I offered, which seemed rather pathetic despite the meaning of the words. But I couldn't say anything else. Maybe it would have been nice to say I was glad he wasn't a bad guy. Maybe it would have been good to say we'll always have Breakfast at Tiffany's.
But I couldn't say any of that, because I'd realised that him being dead was the only thing I was glad about. The memories were just that. Memories of a past part of my life, tarnished with the lies and pain he put me through in the end. And the real clincher? I wasn't sure what I felt about him being a good guy and not on Team Bad.
Confusion still reigned royally on that one.
So, I didn't say any of the things I maybe should have said. I just said I was glad he wasn't dead, and then followed it up with, "But there is no baby." He knew that. He wasn't stupid. He was still, even now, trying to manipulate. "And there is definitely no you and me, anymore. I'm sorry, Jaxon. But there's not."
His eyes roamed all over my face, then when he must have seen the conviction there, they flicked to Ric's at my side. I wasn't sure what Ric looked like right then, I felt compelled to keep my attention solely focused on Jaxon for some reason.
But Jaxon didn't do or say anything, he just held Ric's gaze, face hard, jaw stiff, and then stood to full height.
I think we were all surprised. Jaxon, even this new dark haired, jeans wearing Jaxon, had coiled violence written all over him.
Ah, that's why I kept my attention fully on him.
"All right," he clipped. "I obviously have left it too long to change your mind. Take care, Amber," he offered.
"You too," I murmured, unable to meet him on level ground. My legs, much like my body, were jelly. I was barely able to stay upright in the chair and for a second I couldn't figure out why.
Yes, I was exhausted. Again. Yes, I'd been through the emotional wringer. Again. Yes, my ex-boyfriend had detonated a bomb under the life I thought I had and made it go boom. Again.
But it wasn't until Jaxon made it to the doorway, Pierce shadowing him close enough that Jaxon must have felt his heat. And he turned to the detective and offered what everyone else wouldn't have seen, because at that moment someone outside the room called for Pierce, and Dom had moved to whisper something in Ric's ear, so that I was the only one who saw the look Jaxon gave the detective. That I understood why I was still sitting in my chair, unable to move.
Fear. All consuming, mind numbing, body quaking fear.
Jaxon's anger in that moment, directed at the cop simply because he was probably there, was frightening. That coiled violence I'd sensed, I'd always known to some degree lived under the refined and well dressed man, was unravelling.
And if he hadn't been in a police station, with another cop just outside the door calling for Pierce, and several more in this department alone, not to mention the rest of the ten storey building itself, then he would have snapped, I was sure.
The world continued around me, as I committed that last image of Jaxon to my mind. Unable in that moment to decipher everything completely, just to know that I'd seen a glimpse of the real man.
Jaxon was a cop. A cop who apparently had been deep undercover for a long time. What would that do to a man? Who would he have had to become to survive?
"Well, that's a turn up for the books," Dom was saying. "At least we can all put this to bed and let the powers that be deal with the fallout."
"Hmm," Ric murmured, making me turn my head to look at him. Did he suspect something too?
And what is it exactly that I suspected?
"I'll clear things up with Pierce, if you guys want to head on back to base and update Nick," Dom suggested. "Or do you want to have it out with Ryan now?"
Ric huffed. "He was just as bound as us."
The word choice made me recall that image of Jaxon shooting the guy kneeling, blind-folded, hands bound behind his back.
"Yeah. He's one pissed off fuck," Dom concurred.
I wondered where that picture had been taken, and then I reminded myself it was fake.
"We'll head back," Ric was saying. "When Amber's feeling up to it."
But then, Jason had only suggested that the image was faked. I hadn't tested it.
"Fair enough. There's a water cooler just across the main CIB floor. Shall I grab a cup for her before I run down Pierce?"
I shouldn't feel the need to test it. Jaxon being here, Pierce knowing who he was now, it all meant his story was true.
"Yeah, that'd be good. I don't think she's back with us yet."
But why that picture? Why make me think he'd killed a man? For the image he was having to portray to these unnamed people running C&C?
"Back in a sec, then," Dom replied.
And finding those two pictures again would be impossible. Jaxon would have well and truly hidden them before he got out.
"OK, see you soon."
Morphing blockades along C&C's external IT walls. Reactionary. Not preprogrammed. Current. Now. Why?
"Sweetheart?" Ric's voice broke into my internal thoughts.
"Hmm?"
"Are you OK?"
Was I?
No. But I must have taken too long to reply.
"Have a drink of water," Ric encouraged, pressing a cup into my hand. Somehow Dominic had been and gone again, and now Ric was holding a plastic disposable cup full of filtered water between his fingers. His face set in worried lines, his eyes full of heartache.
I took the offered drink and swallowed the lot down, then placed it on the table, still silent.
"We can stay here as long as you need, but I have to update Nick," Ric said.
I nodded, half watching him as he pulled his cellphone from his back pocket, swiped the screen and placed it at his ear.
The other half of me was occupied elsewhere. On the internet, in lines of code, standing in a virtual environment looking at Bryan Messing's fingerprints.
"Nick, it's a clusterfuck," Ric said.
"I already know," Nick replied, surprising me, not because he knew, but because Ric had placed him on speaker phone. "Just come on back and we'll debrief."
"OK," Ric said and I countered with, "No."
"No?" both men queried.
"Not a debrief," I corrected. "A strategising session."
"Dancer?"
"Jaxon Harding is not one of the good guys and I can prove it."
"Fuck me," Nick said, as Ric began to smile.
"Is it wrong of me to be thinking perverted things when my woman is plotting the downfall of her criminal ex?" Ric asked, goofy grin on his face.
"No," both Nick and I said together. Then Nick added, "Get your IT flirting arses back here and let's nail this son-of-a-bitch."
We could do that. Or at least I hoped we could.
Bryan Messing was going to be one hell of a nut to crack. And let's not forget he worked for Jaxon Harding. A manipulative, high-functioning psychopath with exceptional acting skills.
Chapter 36
Fuck!
Ric let me be on the drive back to ASI. I could tell he wanted to hound me, question me until I spilled the beans. But the beans weren't complete, I was still finalising details in my head, recalling images, screen shots, code. My closed eyelids fluttering, my head tipped back on the headrest, as I dissected each and every one, homing in on Bryan Messing.
It was stage one of my plan, but I didn't have a stage two or three or four yet. I just knew, if I could use Bryan's signature to hack his code, I could break the morphing blockades on C&C's system. Whether something was inside there that would explain everything and incriminate Jaxon was purely a hunch.
A hunch based on that final look I saw on Jaxon's face.
The man wasn't innocent. Maybe one day he had been, but an anger and rage like that does not come from out of nowhere. It comes from deep down inside a man, nurtured, developed, grown into something all encompassing. An obsession that brings out the natural tendencies of a person and has them eventually working their way to becoming the real them.
Jaxon had proven himself to be several different people to me. An interested employer. An eager suitor. A caring lover. A dedicated provider. A time bomb waiting to go off. An unstable psychopath. Just because he was a legitimate player on the supposed legal side of this equation did not mean he wasn't still all of those different things he'd been to me once.
I truly believed he thought we should be together, and that in itself was frightening. He thought he loved me. He thought my place was at his side. And a part of me, which had watched and could recall too many thrillers over the years, was acutely aware of what that type of obsession could become.
Couple that with the fury I saw on his face just now and I knew this wasn't nearly over.
I guess that's why I was pushing on with the only avenue available to me. C&C.
Jaxon has always been an overconfident, arrogant, self-important person. I was praying that too hadn't changed.
Nick was waiting when we walked into control, along with Jason, Brook and Koki. Apparently Ben, Abi and Adam were tracking Jaxon, Bryan and Sala respectively. I thought Nick's assessment to be spot on. Those were the key players in my mind, too.
Nick stood as soon as we entered the room, vacating the main seat for Ric, who slipped into it, surveyed the screens absently, but also I think thoroughly, and took over control. It was sexy.
But now was not the time to drool.
"OK, Amber," Nick announced. "You've got the floor."
Oh, right.
I forced myself not to chew on my bottom lip and took in the screens along the far wall. One showed the rubble of Champagne & Chandeliers, another Jaxon's - and my old - apartment building, another a brightly painted weatherboard house, I was assuming was Bryan Messing's. Several more had different locations on them, including Sweet Seduction Café, some had code, GPS maps, and miscellaneous data.
I took the plunge, unsure where it would lead, but having to believe it would lead us somewhere.
"I think the answer is in C&C's backup system," I declared.
Strange how a few days could be made of such sifting sand. One minute you think you know who you're sleeping with, the next he's a monster and you don't know him at all.
And then the next, you see a look on his face that resounds within you and suddenly things become clear.
"Who he was before is the key," I added. "And it's personal."
"What makes you say that?" Brook asked.
"The level of rage," I murmured. "The constant reference to the name Anscombe."
Silence.
Then, "I've never seen him before in my life." This from Nick. "Well, before he was Jaxon Harding, that is."
"Yeah," I said. "That's the thing. Who was he before now?"
"I can delve into the Police database, see what I can dig up," Ric suggested.
Everyone waited for the go ahead from Nick. Hacking was not legal. ASI attempted to remain predominantly on the right side of the law, and breaking into the Police servers was so far on the wrong side of that law that it was in no-man's land. And we all knew it.
"Do it," Nick ordered with a nod of his head that sealed the company's fate.
"That's only part of the answer," I offered.
"And the rest, Amber?" Nick pushed.
"Is in C&C."
"And you think you can get in there now?"
"Yes."
"And what do you think you'll find?"
"An overconfident, arrogant, psychopath's downfall."
"He'll be expecting you," Brook guessed.
"I know," I agreed.
"Dancer," Ric whispered, a warning on his tongue.
"He walked away in the Police Station," I argued softly. "But only because he had to. He's not done with me or the Anscombe name just yet."
Nick sat up straighter. "Koki, do a sweep of the building. Electronically and physically. Brook, tell Carmel to take the rest of the day off and meet me in my office. Let's move pertinent hard files to Dom's. Jason, make sure my brother and sister are safe, and check up on Mum and Dad."
His eyes came back to both Ric and I, he looked like a man about to condemn his family to their deaths.
"Could you do this from your house?" he asked Ric.
"No. I've got a good set-up, but nowhere near as powerful as this. Why do you think I spend such long hours in here? It's not for the atmosphere," Ric offered.
"I'll stay with you, but I'll clear the rest of the building out just in case," Nick declared. "Even with a sweep of the place we've got to play it safe. Koki and Brook can set up observation posts down Broadway, be close enough to respond if need be, but far enough away should the shit hit the fan."
His gaze came back to me.
"The Anscombe name," he murmured. "Do you think his anger is directed at all of us, or just one in particular?"
I closed my eyes and tried to remember back to what exactly Jaxon had said. Like with most verbal recollections, they weren't as sharp as my visual recall. But, I could remember seeing the look on Jaxon's face when he first brought up the Anscombe name and compare it to his recent comment to Dominic at the Police Station. That would help bring back his words.
Nick Fucking Anscombe. Greedy fucking hands.
You're an Anscombe.
"It's you," I announced when I opened my eyes again. "His anger encompasses anyone to do with you, but it's honed to a fine point on just you."
"Fuck," Jason breathed in the background.
"OK," Nick said with a nod, as though I'd just told him the weather was turning bad and not that a psychopath had a personal vendetta against him. "Now we know. Jason you stay wit
h the family just in case."
"On it," he said, already moving to leave the room.
"Let's get going," Nick added. "The sooner we crack this, the safer we'll all be." He shook his head, his eyes flicking to the screen with the still smouldering ruins of Champagne & Chandeliers. "I'll try and rack my brain for who the hell this motherfucker is to me." He didn't sound confident.
All four men left the room, leaving Ric and I alone. Silence, but for the hum of hard drives and motherboards, and the infinitesimal buzz of an LED screen.
Then Ric said, "Do you have any idea what Harding plans once you break in?"
I shook my head, my eyes coming up to meet his. Green so spellbinding, so lush, stared back at me, with no small measure of worry.
"Might as well find out," I suggested with a small smile.
Ric turned back to his own screen, as I took the seat beside him commandeering a terminal for myself. I cracked my knuckles, stretched my neck from side to side and then waved my fingers above the keys.
Ric chuckled.
"Do you have any idea how sexy you are sitting there, right next to me, right here, about to work your magic? I never in a million fantasies thought this one would come true."
I smirked, but didn't turn to look at him. If I looked at him, we'd lose valuable hacking time. And I'd possibly lose my nerve.
Because I knew Jaxon wasn't done with me yet. And he'd be waiting for me to hack C&C.
He knew every move we were about to make, and he'd prepared for it. I felt like I was about to attempt something that could not be completed, no matter how good I was at what I did. The helplessness as I brought up the area of the internet I needed to be in to approach C&C's system felt like a crushing weight on my chest.
Or that could have been the ache in my heart, that not even Ric's attempt to lighten the moment with flirting could alleviate now.
Why, out of all the people I could have met, did it have to be Jaxon Harding?
I followed the plan I had set, knowing each move I made was expected, predicted. Knowing I was doing nothing to catch my opponent off guard. It was a depressing thought, that made my code flat and uninspiring. The only goal in my mind right then was to get in, get the evidence and get out. I wasn't hiding myself, I wasn't finding an unexpected access point. I could have been a battering ram for all the finesse I displayed.
Sweet Seduction Stripped (Sweet Seduction, Book 7) Page 28
