by Tawna Fenske
“Phyllis, give me your bandana,” Juli ordered.
Visibly startled, Phyllis pulled the bandana off her head and handed it over. Juli folded it into a square that she pressed hard against the gash.
“Hold this here,” she told Jake, moving his fingers into place and demonstrating the pressure she needed him to apply. “Are you dizzy?”
He tried to peer around the yellow bandana. “The ground is moving.”
“You’re on a boat. The ground is supposed to be moving. Do you feel dizzy or light-headed? Is your vision blurry?”
“No. No, I don’t think so.”
“How about your neck? Does it hurt anywhere?”
“No.”
Juli got to her feet and glanced at Alex. He was alternating between staring at the ocean and staring at her with visible disbelief. His hair was plastered wet against his scalp as the rain pelted down around them. Juli braced herself against a sudden gust of wind and turned to Phyllis.
“Phyllis, help him hold pressure on the wound. Cody, could you please get him some water and give him a drink? I’ll be right back.”
Juli dashed down the steps, catching herself once as the tide rolled and pitched her against a wall. She breathed deeply, hoping thirty seconds below deck wouldn’t make her queasy again. She reached the door of her stateroom and pushed it open, locating her knapsack on the floor where it had fallen.
She dug through it as fast as she could, tossing out clothes and toiletries until she found what she was looking for. Snatching the neon orange case, she clutched it to her chest and dashed through the door, taking the steps two at a time.
She dropped to her knees again in front of Jake, who was almost on his back, pressed up against the side of the boat with his limbs flailing. Phyllis was holding the bandana against his forehead, and Juli made a note to be more specific when directing a woman who bench-pressed the mini-fridge to apply pressure.
Juli snapped open the medical kit and dug out a bottle of antiseptic. Then she yanked on a pair of surgical gloves and grabbed her penlight.
A big wave hit them from the front, and Jake grabbed Juli’s shoulder for support. Juli spit out a wet curl and aimed her penlight in his eyes.
“Um, Juli?” Alex called behind her.
“Yes?”
“See, the whole thing about playing pirate was kind of funny, but I’m not sure if playing doctor is really—”
“I’m a nurse.”
“What?”
“Haven’t worked in a hospital for years, but my license is current and I’ve dealt with plenty of head wounds like this before. Unless you’d like to give it a go?”
Alex was silent behind her as the wind shrieked and threw up another blast of water. Juli glanced over her shoulder at him. He was staring slack-jawed at her, looking no less surprised than if she’d told him she rebuilt Italian motorcycles as a hobby.
Actually, she should probably mention that at some point.
Juli waved a gloved hand at him. “Shouldn’t you be driving the boat instead of gawking at me?”
She turned her attention back to Jake, who for his part didn’t look particularly shocked. Then again, he was pretty focused on avoiding Cody’s over-exuberant efforts at hydrating him.
“It’s okay, Cookie—I think he’s had enough to drink. Thank you. Could we maybe get a towel? And Phyllis, I’ll take over holding pressure now. Jake, you want to go ahead and sit up for me?”
Jake pulled himself upright with as much dignity as he could muster and peered at Juli from behind the yellow bandana.
“You look like you know what you’re doing,” he muttered.
“Thanks for the vote of confidence.”
Juli moved the bandana aside and shined her penlight in Jake’s eyes. The pupils looked fine, no real evidence of head trauma. She didn’t think he’d need stitches, which was good. She’d stitched wounds on plenty of less visible body parts, but putting sutures into Jake’s shiny bald forehead was like practicing her painting skills on a billboard. And with the boat rocking like crazy, there was no way to do it safely.
“I’m going to slowly pull the bandana off and have a look,” she said. “It’ll probably bleed a lot—head wounds always do—so no one freak out, okay?”
From the corner of her eye, Juli saw a couple heads bob. Jake nodded against her palm, and Juli pulled the cloth back. The wound was deep, but not as bad as she’d feared. A big wave hit the ship from the side, and Juli clutched the edge of the deck rail to hold herself in place.
“I’m going to irrigate it a little with saline, then clean it with a bit of antiseptic. I think we can do without stitches, which is good, since this isn’t exactly a sterile setting and I’ve never stitched anyone on a moving boat in the middle of a squall. But we’ll give it a couple hours and see how you’re doing. You all right?”
Jake nodded, then winced.
“Phyllis, maybe give him your hand—something to hold on to. This will probably sting.”
As gently as she could manage, Juli began to clean the cut. She could feel the others watching her, but she kept her focus on the task at hand. The rain was easing up, but she was already soaked to the bone.
“Okay, I’m going to move the edges of the wound together and then put a pressure bandage on it. This might hurt a little bit. Can you think of something pleasant for a minute to take your mind off things?”
Jake looked at Phyllis, whose tank top was rain-soaked and plastered to her chest. He stared down the front of it. A look of serene calm came over his face.
Phyllis seemed delightfully oblivious. What was it with these people?
Gently, Juli dried the skin around the wound as a gust of wind ripped at the gauze in her hand.
“Here we go.” Juli moved the edges of the wound together and pressed the bandage into place. Then she covered it with a light gauze pad, securing the edges. Satisfied, she sat back on her heels.
“All right, Jake, you’re good for now. Try to take it easy for a little bit. Maybe Alex or Phyllis or Cody can cover your shift for now? I really don’t want you driving the boat right away.”
“I’ve got it,” Phyllis piped, stepping up to take the controls from Alex. “Alex needs to sleep for at least a couple hours, and Cody needs to get dinner ready. Are we through the squall yet?”
“Pretty much,” Alex said. “You guys missed the worst of it while you were reenacting scenes from Grey’s Anatomy.”
“And Juli didn’t puke,” Cody said, beaming at her with obvious pride.
Alex folded his arms over his chest, regarding Juli with a curious look as Phyllis took the wheel. “No,” Alex said, his tone flat. “Juli definitely didn’t puke.”
His eyes were cold as he studied her.
Juli felt herself shiver. She had some explaining to do.
Chapter 8
“So let me get this straight,” Alex said, forking a piece of seared yellowtail tuna into his mouth at dinner that evening. He chewed and pointed his fork at Juli. “You’re a nurse.”
“Yes.”
“And you work in marketing.”
“Well, not anymore. But yes, I did.”
“And you said something yesterday about working as a cake decorator?”
“Um, yes. A few years ago.”
“Any other jobs I should know about?”
Juli raised an eyebrow at him. “Are we exchanging résumés now? If so, I’m excited to see your cartographer’s license.”
“Cartographers don’t have licenses. And that’s not the point.”
“What is the point?” Juli snapped as she spooned more pomegranate crème fraîche onto her wilted spinach salad with a shaky hand.
Alex looked down at his braised leeks and tried to regroup. This wasn’t going quite like he’d planned. “The point is that you haven’t been straight with us about who you are and why you’re on our boat. The point is that it would have been useful to know we had a medical professional on board.”
“As soon as you
needed one, I told you. What’s the problem?”
“More saffron risotto?” Cody offered.
“No thank you, Cookie,” Alex said.
“Yes, please, Cookie!” Juli piped, holding up her plate. “It’s amazing; is this Spanish saffron or Indian?”
“Imported from Azerbaijan, actually.”
“Wow, no kidding? I really like the white asparagus in there. You’re a genius with flavors!”
Cody blushed, and Juli got to work devouring everything on her plate. Alex watched, impressed in spite of himself. The woman certainly had a passion for food. And a passion for other things.
Dammit, focus!
“So back to the discussion at hand,” Alex said, tearing the corner off a loaf of homemade bread and reaching for the truffle infused olive oil. “What are you, exactly?”
Juli leveled him with a look. “So we’re defining ourselves by our careers? Because if that’s the case, you and the rest of the pirate crew can—”
“Juli, come on,” Alex said. “Just tell me what you do for a living.”
Jake dropped his fork with a clatter, clearly done beating around the bush. “Are you a cop?” he demanded. “Are you a goddamn cop, Juli?”
Alex kicked him under the table, but Jake was on a roll, with little beads of sweat clustered on his forehead like dewdrops. “Well come on, that’s what we want to know, isn’t it?” Jake snarled. “I mean, we don’t care what her job is, do we? We care what it isn’t.” He wiped his mouth with his napkin and glared at her. “Juli, are you a cop or a spy or a representative of the shipping industry?”
Juli seemed to consider the question as she sipped her cocktail of rosemary-infused vodka and fresh lime juice.
“No,” she answered finally. “I am definitely not a cop or a spy or a representative of the shipping industry. Those are all jobs I haven’t held.” She seemed pleased as she took another sip of her drink.
“So who exactly are you?” Alex asked.
“Why is this relevant?” she fired back. “I’m not asking you for a résumé.”
“Dammit, Juli,” Alex said, setting his glass down. “You’re the one who stowed away on our boat. You’re the one asking to stay. How the hell are we supposed to trust you if you keep unveiling these little surprises? What’s next, you confess you’re a hit man?”
“Hit woman,” Juli muttered, sipping her drink without meeting his eyes. “I’m not. A hit woman, I mean.”
“Juli—”
“Well I’m not,” she insisted, her voice breaking a little.
Alex gritted his teeth. “Juli, what is your deal? What the hell are you?”
Juli sighed, looking defeated. “I got my degree in nursing when I was fifteen. Just for fun, not a long-term career or anything.”
“Fun,” Alex repeated, not comprehending. “At fifteen?”
Juli closed her eyes and shook her head. “I’m also a licensed gemologist. And a dog trainer. And a massage therapist. And a computer programmer. Oh, and I drove the compactor at the landfill for eight months. And I worked in a handbag boutique for a while until I realized I was spending more than I was making. I was a finish carpenter for about a year, but that got boring. I worked in the entomology department at the zoo off and on for a few months. And I sometimes work as an interpreter for German, Danish, French, Spanish, Yiddish, Cherokee, Japanese—”
Alex set his fork down. “You’re being funny, right?”
She pressed her lips together and looked up at him. “Well, my spoken Yiddish is a little rough, but my written skills are perfectly adequate.”
Alex stared at her, trying to figure out what to say. Juli looked down at the table and didn’t meet his eyes. Her cheeks were flaming, and her ears were even redder. She set her fork down and reached up to press her fingertips against them.
Jake flung his spoon across the galley and slammed a fist on the table. “I told you she was a spy!”
“I’m not a spy,” Juli cried, her voice watery with unshed tears. “I swear, I’m not a spy. Come on, guys, just let it go. Let me be normal here.”
Phyllis frowned. “Normal?”
“Normal,” Juli insisted, looking wild-eyed at Phyllis. “That’s all I want here, just that. It’s not so much to ask, is it?”
“Normal,” Alex repeated, trying to understand. “What the hell are you talking about?”
Juli looked miserable sitting there with four pairs of eyes boring into her. Her ears were the color of Roma tomatoes, and she looked like she was ready to bolt from the room. Alex blinked, trying to make sense of what was going on.
She’d clammed up now, feigning intense interest in the kumquat garnish on the side of her plate. She picked up her fork again and poked at her food, though she didn’t eat it. She touched one of her ears with her free hand, making it redder than it already was. Alex continued to stare. Even Cody was looking at her, his expression more perplexed than normal.
Finally Juli set her fork down and met Alex’s eyes.
“Look, I get bored easily, okay? I change careers a lot. And I like taking classes to learn new skills.”
“Someone who gets bored easily generally jumps between waitressing at IHOP and manning the front desk at a hotel,” Alex said flatly.
“Oh, I’ve done both of those things—”
“Juli, cough it up. What the hell are you hiding?”
She sighed. “I have an IQ of 186, okay? And I have a short attention span. I like to try different things, and I’m usually pretty good at most of them, and I really don’t like to talk about this. You happy now?”
Alex just stared. Words failed him. Either she was pulling his leg, or—
“Look, if you don’t believe me, go Google my name,” she said. “You were going to find out anyway, I guess. Every now and then, some reporter gets bored and decides to write an article or do a TV spot about the career-hopping genius. I hate it. I’m sure you can find something about me online.”
“I was right!” Jake yelled, jumping out of his chair. “I knew I’d seen you on TV! World’s smartest woman, right? Guinness Book of World Records?”
Juli frowned and reached for the cocktail shaker.
Phyllis shot Jake an annoyed look from her spot in the captain’s chair. “We’ve been trying to do a search on you, but our Internet has been down all day.”
Juli frowned. “I may have had something to do with that. I was trying to keep this to myself. I just wanted to fit in with you guys, and I didn’t want you to find out right away.”
“You screwed up our computer?” Phyllis asked. She sounded more impressed than annoyed.
“I’ll fix it after dinner.” Juli said. “It shouldn’t be hard. But until then, I can assure you that I’ve never been a serial killer or an executioner or a lawyer or whatever else you guys are so worried about.”
“A cop?” Jake asked.
“Or a cop.”
“A spy?” he pressed.
“No. Never a spy.”
“What about an aesthetician?” Cody asked hopefully.
“That I’ve done,” Juli said, forking a piece of hoisin pressed duck into her mouth. “I do excellent pedicures.”
“So why didn’t you tell us this earlier?” Alex asked.
She looked up at him, her eyes still shimmery with tears. “You need a pedicure?”
He sighed. “It might have been helpful to know we had someone with all these specialized skills in our midst. A celebrity of sorts.”
“Oh, and you’ve been straight with me from the start, Pirate Alex?”
Alex tore off another piece of bread. “Fair enough.”
Juli looked at him, her eyes pleading. “Look, my whole life, I’ve been the freak show. The odd duck. The weird, smart girl who doesn’t fit in. I just wanted to try something different for a change, you know?”
Alex stared at her. “And this is why you want to stay on our boat?”
Juli shrugged, her shoulders still slumped in defeat. “I like you guys. And I li
ke new careers. This seems like one worth exploring.”
“What does?”
“Piracy. Duh.”
Alex felt a stabbing pain behind his eyes. This was definitely not turning out the way he’d planned.
“I think it’s suspicious,” Jake said. “I’m sorry. I know you fixed my head and all. Thanks for that. But seriously, something seems odd about all this. How do we know you’re not a spy?”
“How do I know you’re not all criminally insane?”
“You don’t,” Alex said. “For that matter, we’re not sure about it ourselves.”
“My point is, we’re all stuck on this boat together,” Juli said. “Maybe we should cut each other some slack?”
“I’ll drink to that,” Phyllis said from the helm, lifting her glass of mineral water.
Alex stared at her, trying not to grit his teeth. In almost twenty years of working with Phyllis, he’d never known her to have any particular loyalties to girlfriends.
Come to think of it, he’d never known her to have any girlfriends.
Beside him, Jake was muttering something under his breath as he forked salad into his mouth.
Cody just looked intensely pleased as he began uncorking a bottle of red wine. “Sangiovese, anyone?”
Juli nodded and lifted her glass. “I worked as a sommelier once,” she said, her voice still shaky. “That’s an excellent vintage.”
***
Juli wasn’t really asleep when the tentative knock sounded at her door. It was 2:00 a.m., and she had spent the last two hours mentally kicking herself as she stared at a spot on the wood paneling that looked like a misshapen eggplant.
“Come in,” she called, turning away from the eggplant and sitting up in bed. The door creaked open, and Alex tiptoed in, looking sheepish. He was holding a pillow.
He paused when he saw her in bed. “I’m sorry, were you asleep?”
“Why, were you planning to smother me with that?”
Alex glanced down at the pillow, then back at her. He shrugged. “Not a bad idea, but no. It’s raining.”
“And you felt the need to tell me this at 2:00 a.m.?”
