by Tawna Fenske
Jake made a grab for the spatula. “I’m sorry. Geez, I’m sorry.”
“Me too,” Cody said, reaching down to pat Juli on the arm. “I mean, I was the one who left my spatula out.”
“It’s okay,” Juli said, not quite understanding the connection but enjoying the bubble of hope she felt at this odd new level of inclusion. “I’m probably just too sensitive about—about—well, anyway.” She felt her ears go hot, so she stopped talking.
“You boys go finish breakfast,” Phyllis insisted. “We’re going to talk about girl stuff.”
“Girl stuff,” Jake repeated, looking mystified.
“Girl stuff,” Cody repeated, looking eager.
“Go!” Phyllis told them as she handed the spatula to Cody.
Both men retreated, bickering all the way down the stairs. When they were out of earshot, Phyllis turned to Juli.
“Can I join you for a minute?”
Juli gestured to the deck chair beside her and smiled up at Phyllis. “Be my guest. And thanks for that.”
“Oh, no problem,” Phyllis said, hesitating a little. “That’s what girlfriends do, right?”
“Right,” Juli said, trying to remember if she’d ever had a girlfriend who assaulted bullies with kitchen utensils on her behalf. “So I take it the guys aren’t quite done with breakfast?”
“Cody said the Grand Marnier sauce didn’t come out right on his first batch of blintzes, so he insisted Alex stay at the helm in the pilothouse for a while longer until the next batch was ready.”
“I hope I didn’t use up all the fresh whipped cream earlier.”
“No, he made more.” Phyllis eyed the chair next to Juli for a moment, then eased herself into it, her posture rigid and her hands clasped in her lap.
“So have you had time to, um, observe?” Phyllis asked in a voice that was surprisingly timid for a woman with biceps the size of a small automobile.
“You and Jake?” Juli nodded, trying not to feel ridiculous in her new role as love advisor. “Yes. I have.”
Phyllis swallowed. “And?”
“Well, despite the fact that you beat him with a kitchen gadget, I think he likes you. And I know you like him. But I think we could all die of old age before either of you makes a move to do anything about that.”
Phyllis stared down into her lap, her knuckles whitening. “I’m just not very good with men. I mean, a man like Jake—well, I’m sure he has so much experience with beautiful women, and, well, I’m not really the caliber of woman he’s probably used to.”
Juli raised an eyebrow at Phyllis, not sure which part of her assertion called for correction first. Seeing the obvious discomfort on the older woman’s face, she took her best stab at it.
“Phyllis, you’re a very attractive woman.”
“You’re just saying that because you think I still want to throw you overboard.”
“Um, no. I thought we were past that. But thank you for reminding me. Seriously, Phyllis, you just have to gain a little confidence in your attractiveness. In your appeal to the opposite sex. In your womanly wiles.”
Phyllis looked dubious. “Womanly wiles?”
“Yes. You have them. You just have to learn to use them.”
“I don’t understand.”
Juli set her tea down and folded her legs beneath her, feeling nervous all of a sudden as Phyllis regarded her with rapt attention.
“Let’s say you catch Jake staring at you. What do you do?”
Phyllis frowned. “Do I have spinach stuck between my teeth?”
“No. No spinach. And you don’t want to ask him that. What you want to do is smile at him.”
“Smile?”
“Yes, smile. It’s when you curl up the corners of your mouth and show some teeth.”
“I know what smiling is,” Phyllis said as she pulled a tiny notebook out of the pocket on her shirt. Smile, she wrote. Teeth.
Juli continued. “If you smile at Jake, you’re giving him just a little bit of encouragement. It’s not as direct as, say, putting him in a headlock and sticking your tongue in his ear, but it lets him know you’re interested.”
Phyllis was scribbling furiously in her notebook. No headlock.
She stopped writing and looked up at Juli. “Okay, so how do I, um—”
“Move things to the next level?”
“Right.”
“Well, you can start by asking him questions. Men like to talk about themselves, and it lets him know you want to know more about him. That you’re interested in really getting to know him.”
“Questions,” Phyllis said aloud, writing the word in her notebook. She frowned and looked up at Juli. “Like how to unclog the toilet?”
“Well, that wasn’t quite what I had in mind. Do you know anything about his family? Where he’s from? What he likes to do for fun?”
Phyllis chewed on the end of her pen. “I think he plays Frisbee golf.”
“Frisbee golf. That’s excellent. See, you have exercise in common. So you can talk with him about Frisbee golf and workouts and outdoor recreation.”
Phyllis looked dubious. “But I don’t want to be his workout partner. I want to rip off his clothes with my teeth and—”
“Er, right,” Juli said, hoping to avoid hearing the end of that sentence. “But you have to work your way to that point. Show him you’re more than just a work buddy. Let him see that you’re pleasant to be around, that you’re enjoying his company. That you’re a fun, sexy woman.”
Fun, sexy woman Phyllis wrote, pressing so hard with the pen that she put a hole in the paper.
“So to accomplish the fun, sexy aspect of that—”
Phyllis balled her fist around the pen. “Is this the part where you pull out your big cosmetic kit and give me a makeover and dress me up in girly clothes like in the movies?”
“Um, no. Not unless you want to.”
“I’m allergic to cosmetic products. Everything except ChapStick.”
“Okay, so no makeup. And obviously we’re not in a position to make any real wardrobe changes out here, but maybe just a few alterations.”
“Like what?”
“Well, you’ve got great arms. And excellent legs. You’re in fabulous shape all around.”
Phyllis beamed, so Juli kept going.
“And you’ve got a great smile. And nice hair. And your boobs are good too.”
Phyllis gaped at her. “Boobs?”
“Hooters, blouse bunnies, sweater potatoes, lady balls, dumplings, chesticles—”
“I know what boobs are,” Phyllis said, her complexion two shades paler than normal. “I just, well, I mean—”
“Look, I’m not an expert here,” Juli said, chewing her lip. “But watching the way Jake responds to you, I’ve determined that he is a boob man. And since you happen to be in possession of a perfectly lovely pair, it makes sense that you show them off just a little.”
“Oh.”
“You have to be subtle about it. Nothing overt. But you want to make him notice you as a woman instead of a just a workmate.”
Subtle, Phyllis wrote in her notebook, then underlined it twice.
“So try to work on that, and see if you notice a difference.”
“Smile, ask questions, find common interests, show boobs,” Phyllis said, reading from her notes.
“Exactly. Let’s regroup later today and see how things go.”
Phyllis nodded, then closed her notebook. She gave Juli a faint smile and stood up, looking relieved. “Thank you, Juli. I’m glad you stowed away on this boat.”
“My pleasure, Phyllis. Actually, I was hoping maybe we could trade information.”
“Oh?”
“Like maybe you could tell me a little more about this pirate mission. Alex has been pretty closemouthed about the whole thing.”
Phyllis remained standing, her expression unreadable. “Well, yes. Piracy isn’t legal. It’s important to be discreet.”
“Right. So are you just planning to at
tack a ship at random, or what?”
Phyllis nibbled the end of her pen, considering. “No, we know the boat we’re after. There’s a plan.”
“Can you tell me more about the plan?”
Phyllis looked down. “I really don’t think so.”
“What about telling me where the boat is?” Juli tried. “Do you know that?”
Phyllis looked uncertain, clearly under orders not to reveal too much. “We’re tracking it,” she said finally. “With GPS. And proprietary navigational software. We know where it is now and when we’ll make contact.”
“Oh. So when will the rendezvous take place?”
“At our current rate of speed, we’ll connect with the ship in 22 hours and 17 minutes.”
Juli sat up, surprised by this revelation. “Really? Wow. So do I need to do anything to be ready?”
Phyllis frowned. “Alex hasn’t talked to you about this yet?”
“Talked to me about what?”
“Oh. Well, maybe he was going to do that later this morning. I’m pretty sure he was planning to talk to you after his shift ended.”
“Phyllis, come on. You’re a part of this mission too. You have a right to tell me things if you want to. Alex isn’t in charge of everything.”
Phyllis looked so conflicted that Juli almost felt bad for her. Still, Juli had a right to know, didn’t she?
Phyllis sighed. “I guess Alex was going to tell you anyway,” she said. “Look, you’re not going to take part in this heist, okay? We’re hoping you’ll just cooperate, but if it’s necessary, Alex suggested we may have to restrain you—”
“What?” The word came out as a shriek, but Juli didn’t care. She was livid. “Restrain me? He’s going to tie me up?”
Phyllis took a step back and bit her lip. “Well, there are handcuffs, actually. And maybe a blindfold. And I think Alex was going to have you stay in your stateroom until we get everything sorted out.”
Juli stood up, her face flaming. “I can’t believe it. I can’t fucking believe it! Tied up? Like a prisoner?”
Phyllis turned a few shades paler and glanced at the stairs. “It would just be best if you don’t get too involved—”
“Involved? I’m already involved! Who the hell does he think he is?”
“Um, well. The captain of the ship.”
Juli scowled. “Captain Alex. That’s right. Dread Pirate Alex. Well, if he thinks he’s going to handcuff me and leave me out of everything, he’s got another think coming.”
“Oh, Juli. Don’t. Just—well, don’t.”
Juli shook her head, trying to ignore the sting of hurt pricking the back of her throat. It was just like always. She had started to think she belonged, that she was a part of something.
But that wasn’t true, was it? It would never be true, not for her.
She swallowed hard. “Why the hell shouldn’t I go talk to Alex right now?”
“Why don’t you wait until you calm down? I’m sure Alex is planning to talk to you about it. Just give him a chance. He’s a very reasonable man.”
“Reasonable,” Juli said, thinking that was not one of the first adjectives that came to mind when she pictured Alex.
She tried to ignore the adjectives that did come to mind.
Sexy. Gorgeous. Fabulous kisser.
Phyllis sighed. “It’s just—there are reasons for leaving you out. Reasons we can’t talk about right now.”
Juli frowned, still seething, trying to decide whether to feel mad or hurt. Maybe she had no right to feel either one, but dammit, she thought she was finally becoming a part of the team.
Phyllis eyed her warily. “Okay, so I’m going to get ready for my shift at the helm. And Juli?”
“Yes?”
“Really, thanks for the help with Jake.”
“No problem,” Juli said, feeling herself smile in spite of her frustration. “And thank you for assaulting the man of your dreams on my behalf.”
Phyllis nodded. “My pleasure.”
***
When Alex strolled up to the flybridge with a boating magazine in hand, he was just looking for an hour of quiet relaxation.
Instead, he found himself looking at the most perfect legs he’d seen in—well, probably ever.
“Um—” he said, trying not to stare at Juli lounging there in her teeny little bikini. Was it his imagination, or had the top shrunk considerably since he’d seen it on her the day before?
“What are you looking at, sailor boy?”
“You know, I’m really better off not answering that question.”
Juli lowered her sunglasses and peered over the top at him with narrowed eyes. “Really? Because I’ve got some more questions for you to answer.”
“Can I ask mine first? Because I was just wondering why Phyllis is down in the cockpit in her bra looking really happy about driving the boat.”
“What?”
Alex put on his sunglasses and stretched. “Jake looks pretty happy about it too, for that matter.”
“Oh, hell,” Juli said, and jumped out of the lounge chair, heading for the steps.
Alex watched her go, enjoying the view.
“If it’s any comfort, her bra covers more than that bikini top you’re wearing,” he yelled after her before settling into her abandoned deck chair. He leaned back, noticing the smell of coconuts and lemon on the cushion. The same smell he’d enjoyed the night before in bed with Juli, nuzzling against her hair, devouring her body.
Okay, maybe he’d been dumb to kiss her last night. And he’d been really dumb to take it further than that, especially with so many questions about who she was and what she was doing out here. He really didn’t know what he’d been thinking. She’d just looked so beautiful lying there in the half-lit room, those crazy curls spread across the pillow and her mouth looking warm and soft and inviting.
And yeah, he had to admit it—the genius thing was kind of a turn-on. He knew it made her uncomfortable, but seriously—was there anything hotter than a smart woman who was also funny as hell?
But getting in bed with her had been a stupid idea, and he wouldn’t do it again. He was here on a mission. A mission to rescue his pension, to regain his identity, to help his friends do the same. There was no sense getting involved with a woman he didn’t trust. Not when he was broke with no career future. He’d learned that lesson once before.
He needed a romantic entanglement like he needed a French manicure.
Alex sighed and closed his eyes, trying to ignore thoughts of Juli as he enjoyed the feel of the sun on his eyelids. He must have drifted off to sleep, because the next thing he knew, he felt a shadow fall across his chest. He opened one eye and peered up at Juli.
She wasn’t smiling.
“Did Phyllis put her top back on?” Alex asked.
“Yes, as a matter of fact she did.”
Alex yawned, stretching his arms overhead. “Too bad for Jake.”
“I’m not concerned about Jake right now. What I’m concerned about is the fact that you intend to handcuff me in my room during the pirate heist.”
Alex groaned and closed his eyes again. “Phyllis told you?”
“Never mind who told me. Were you ever planning to clue me in?”
He opened his eyes and sighed. “Come on, Juli—”
“Don’t come on Juli me,” she said, her eyes flashing with indignation and something that looked a lot like hurt. “I thought we agreed I wasn’t a prisoner. I thought I was going to be a part of the team out here. I thought—”
“Juli, there’s a lot you don’t know about this mission. A lot you’re better off not knowing about us, about me, about what we’re all doing here.”
“Like what?”
Alex threw up his hands in exasperation. “Did you just miss the part where I said you’re better off not knowing?”
Juli rolled her eyes. “Give me an example then. What’s so top secret?”
“Has it really not occurred to you that we don’t exactly fit
the profile of real pirates? That there’s probably more to this mission than you realize?”
“Gee, Alex, no it didn’t. I thought pirate heists were really what you did for a living.”
“Juli, let it go. Seriously. Just let it go.”
She folded her arms over her chest and stared hard at him. “And you’ll do what?”
“Huh?”
“What will you do for me if I let it go?”
He raised an eyebrow at her. “I don’t know that you’re in a position to be negotiating.”
Juli sighed. “How about a challenge then?”
“A challenge?”
“Right. Give me a chance to win the right to help you guys with the heist.”
“Juli, I really don’t think—”
“Just one chance.”
He sighed. “What sort of challenge do you have in mind?”
“A game.”
Alex snorted. “I’ve played games with you twice now. The first time I had my sexual prowess mocked onstage in front of several hundred strangers, and the second time I got roped into giving you a foot massage.”
“You got a foot job out of the deal, if I recall.”
“Foot job?”
“Like a hand job, except—”
“Right.”
“And we both ended up five hundred dollars richer in the first game, sailor boy. It wasn’t all bad, was it?”
No, he thought as he watched her moving fluid and warm under that bikini top. Watched her eyes flash with fury and passion and that quirky brand of humor he was pretty sure had been keeping them all from throwing themselves overboard in the midst of all this high-seas drama.
Definitely not all bad.
“Fine.” Alex sighed, sensing there was no way he could possibly win an argument with Juli. Ever. “What are you thinking?”
“One game of Battleship. My rules. If I win, no handcuffs. And I get to be a part of this mission.”
“And if I win—”
“You can handcuff me without argument. I’ll sit in my cabin like a good little wench while you four go off to pillage and plunder.”
“You make it sound so tawdry.”
“Isn’t it?” she asked.
“Probably.”
“Do we have a deal?”
Alex considered for a moment. “One game of Battleship?”
