There was a long, sad silence then. But it was also charged. Evie felt a need to say something. To maybe get them talking about why they were there in the first place.
“This is just gorgeous,” said Evie, indicating the view. Because it was.
“It is. It really is. You feel like you’re on top of the world here,” replied Thom, taking a sip of tea.
“I was just thinking that…that you feel like you could see all the way to Newish Isle from here,” said Evie slowly.
Catherine sputtered on her tea, and Thom laughed.
“Oh my goodness, you aren’t subtle at all, are you, child?” he said. “Well, there is something to admire about that, I suppose. Direct and straight to the point.”
Evie felt her face get hot, and she looked down at her tea. She wasn’t sure what was embarrassing her more—that he’d so easily caught on to her plan, or that she actually had been trying to be subtle.
“I know why you’re here. There’s only one reason why anyone comes to find me, and it isn’t to buy my art,” said Thom.
“I’d buy your art,” said Evie. If I had money. And a way to transport it home, she thought.
“You’re sweet. And you know, I actually believe you would. Thank you. But I think we all know why we’re here, so it makes sense to just address it head-on. I’m done taking people to the volcano.” He took another sip of tea and kept his gaze firmly out toward the horizon.
“But why?” asked Evie, her voice getting high and cracking a little.
“Evie, please, stay calm,” said Catherine, jumping into the conversation.
Evie scowled at that. Had there ever been a person in the history of time who had been told to stay calm, or to calm down, or any kind of calming, where the result had been anything other than the person getting more frustrated?
“But it doesn’t make sense,” Evie said. “Why did he help Benedict but he won’t help us? What makes Benedict so special?”
“He’s a pretty special person,” said Catherine.
“Indeed he is. You know Benedict Barnes?” asked Thom, finally turning away from the view and looking at them with interest for the first time.
“Yes!” said Evie. This maybe was their way in. Thom seemed at least a little receptive now. “And we’re trying to find him because he’s in danger!” Possibly, maybe, hard to know. Actually, it’s my friend Sebastian who’s in greater danger, but we think that we can help him if we can find Benedict. She finished all this in her head because she wasn’t sure it would help and she wasn’t sure it would matter to Thom.
“Is he?” asked Thom. “How so?”
At this point Catherine leaned forward and gave a look to Evie that suggested it was time for her to speak. “Thom, my name is Catherine Lind. I was once a member of the Filipendulous Five and consider Benedict to be one of my closest friends. We need your help to find him.”
Thom looked back at her, long and hard. Then he shook his head slowly. “I have great respect for your team, and great respect for Benedict. But I have made up my mind. The good news is, since I’ve taken others there, they know the way as well. Where they are now, though…I’m not entirely sure.”
“But time is of the essence,” said Catherine.
“I don’t get it. Why can’t you just make an exception for us?” pleaded Evie.
Thom sighed and leaned forward, placing his empty teacup on the tray in front of them. “You make one exception, and then you make another. And then another. In this moment you think, ‘Well, this isn’t so bad. There is reason enough to help them.’ But then there comes another moment with the same thought, and so on. I should know; I’ve been thinking that way for five years now. Finally I decided that after Benedict, that was it. I was done. I would help an old friend. What could be considered a better final exception? And then there would be no more.”
Evie stared at Thom. She had run out of things to say. It wasn’t like he was being reasonable, exactly. It felt like there ought to be some way to logically convince him he was wrong. But she couldn’t think of one. Oh, how she wished Sebastian was here right now. He’d know what to say!
“We understand,” said Catherine, though to Evie it sounded like maybe there was a hint of the same frustration she herself was feeling. “So you don’t know of anyone else who could help us?”
Thom shook his head. “Not their whereabouts, no.” He paused. “Wait! I had an old friend who made the trip with me several times in our youth. He moved to Canada a while ago.”
“We can’t go to Canada,” said Evie.
“Why not? It’s a lovely place,” replied Thom.
“No, I meant it’s far away, and we have…days…hours, even…,” said Evie, trailing off.
“Then maybe find a large city. Go to Sydney, start there? Brisbane, possibly?” It was impressive just how helpful someone who was being totally unhelpful could be.
“Thank you,” said Catherine. She stood up in her efficient way and placed her teacup on the tray. “We really shouldn’t take up any more of your time.”
“Oh, no. Please! Take up as much as you’d like. Stay for dinner. I make a mean stew,” Thom implored her as he rose to his feet.
Catherine didn’t say anything. Evie understood how she was feeling. This man had let them down in a huge way, and accepting his hospitality in the face of such disappointment felt weird.
Then again, there was no real reason not to stay for stew.
“Thank you,” said Catherine. “We will.”
It was time for lights-out again. And as Sebastian lay there in the dark, the knots in his stomach seemed to fill him up almost to the point of choking him. Finally, when he couldn’t handle it anymore, he got up and made a beeline for the door.
He opened it slowly, carefully, worried that Suwon would be standing on the other side like last night. But he wasn’t. The hallway was dimly lit and empty. And very quiet. Some people would call it too quiet, but Sebastian wasn’t those people. Quiet simply was a state. It couldn’t be too much. It couldn’t be more than quiet. Quiet was.
Sebastian really had no idea where any exits might be except for the one he’d come in through with the bus. So he made his way toward the garage. Working his way through the maze of hallways, passing the recording studio, the dining room, the schoolroom, finally he made it into the white garage, lit as brightly as when he’d first seen it. He walked to the center of the room, where a large round circle was indented in the floor. Sebastian was pretty sure it was the lift. It definitely was large enough for an entire bus to fit onto. But how to turn it on? How to get it to do its lifting thing?
Sebastian turned around and saw Suwon standing in the doorway. Seeing the man took him by surprise. Sebastian hadn’t even sensed that he was no longer alone. He wasn’t really sure what to do, so he just stood there, on the giant white circle, staring.
“Why are you up? It’s after lights-out,” said Suwon.
“Oh, uh…” Sebastian’s mind raced. “I couldn’t sleep. I wanted to see the cars. They’re very cool.”
“They are. Most of them are gifts. And useless. Only Kwan is old enough to drive, but he doesn’t have his license. Though, someday…” He smiled, and then stopped smiling. “You’re lying to me.”
“No, I’m not.”
“That was also a lie.”
“No, it wasn’t.” Yes, okay, it was, but he was still getting used to lying and wasn’t sure what to do when he was called out on it.
Suwon raised one eyebrow, and Sebastian felt defeated. He could keep insisting, but where would it get him? Suwon knew the truth. Or at least knew that Sebastian wasn’t speaking the truth.
“I want to go home,” Sebastian said, deflating and feeling very tired.
“Do you think that’s wise, Sebastian?” asked Suwon, walking toward him.
“What?” What a strange question. “
Of course it is. It’s very wise. And logical besides.”
“I understand the desire to go home. I have had that desire myself. But sometimes home doesn’t desire you.”
What? “Uh…I don’t understand.”
“My dear Sebastian. It is very hard to come to terms with, I do know that. I know the feeling well. But sometimes in order to move on, we need to acknowledge very difficult truths.”
Sebastian didn’t know what to say to that. He was terribly confused, and really didn’t enjoy that feeling.
Suwon approached him and put a gentle hand on his shoulder. “This story about you being kidnapped, it’s quite a tale.”
“It is,” agreed Sebastian.
“A bit fanciful, wouldn’t you say?”
And that was when Sebastian finally understood. He scolded himself for not getting there sooner. “You think I’m lying!” he said, completely stunned.
“Not lying in the bad way of lying. It’s a pity, actually, that the word ‘lying’ always sounds so negative. A lie in and of itself isn’t always a terrible thing.”
This was something Sebastian had been slowly learning. Ever since he’d met Evie, really. But still…
“I’m not lying. It’s the truth. I realize it sounds pretty crazy, but it’s the truth.” Sebastian was starting to feel flushed and warm all over. It was a familiar feeling, one he always felt when someone was trying to make him think he was wrong when he knew without question he was right. This had happened a few times growing up, at his old school before he’d transferred to his new one. Where some of the teachers would be angry because he knew more than they did, and when he corrected them, they’d insist he was wrong. It was like that all over again. But this time it was about his own personal experiences, not an answer to a math problem or some historical fact. His very own life.
“I think,” said Suwon slowly and in a comforting voice, “that you ran away. I don’t know why, but I think that’s what happened. And now you feel guilty. So you want to run back. But are you sure that running back is the right choice?”
“What do you mean?”
“Sometimes families aren’t the ones you are born into. Sometimes families are the people you choose. Like here. We’re very much a family here.”
“Well, I guess, but surely the band members have parents and stuff. Surely…” Sebastian stopped talking when he saw the look in Suwon’s eyes.
Suwon released a long breath, so long that it was hard to call it a sigh. Then he said, “I am Toy and Ujin’s uncle, so you could say they have family ‘and stuff,’ yes. Though their parents passed many years ago. Cheese was a small homeless child I took in when he was very young. He became their cousin. Yejun was Toy’s best friend in school, a foster child going from home to home.”
Sebastian hadn’t quite expected such an answer.
“And Kwan?” he asked softly.
“Kwan came to me later. He came to audition when the boys decided they wanted to form a group. We needed a fifth, a lead singer. I put out an advertisement, and hundreds auditioned. But Kwan was the best.”
“And what about his parents?” Sebastian asked carefully.
“His mother died when he was young. And his father signed away parental rights, disappeared immediately. Kwan came to us because he knew his father didn’t want him anymore.”
Oh. That was truly sad. “So,” said Sebastian slowly, “you take care of them. You’re like their parent.”
“I’m everything. Father, manager, teacher. At first I was scared to take on so much. But I have learned. And so have the boys. And I can be the same to you. You are smart. You are thoughtful. You would make an excellent friend to the Lost Boys. You could help them, help me,” he said with a smile.
“But I’m not running away. I’m trying to run home. I need you to believe me.”
Suwon nodded sympathetically, but he still didn’t seem to believe Sebastian. “How about you go to sleep and think about it?”
“I honestly don’t need to,” Sebastian answered. Because he really didn’t.
“I think you should.” Suwon said it bluntly with a serious look on his face, both of which together seemed almost threatening.
It was so strange. Here was a man who seemed truly to want to help Sebastian, to be his surrogate father even, evidently. He was someone who cared enough to take on that responsibility. And yet at the same time he was doing more harm than good. His good intentions were definitely like ones from the proverb, leading in quite the wrong direction, down the road away from helpful. How did one fight a person like that? Sebastian had gotten used to dealing with evil people, and people who didn’t entirely trust him, like Catherine. He had gotten used to convincing people who were reasonable but stubborn, like Myrtle. And of course he’d gotten used to the unpredictably clever Evie. But someone who wanted to be kind and who was at the same time oddly menacing? Sebastian hadn’t had any practice with that yet.
“I don’t…” He stopped. He had nothing to say.
“Well, you have time to think about it. Especially tomorrow, when we are all away at the concert.”
“Wait, you’re leaving me behind tomorrow?” For a moment Sebastian had hope that on his own he might be able to escape. And then of course he realized that his situation was likely to have more in common with solitary confinement. Solitary confinement with all the comforts of home and a gym and everything, but alone and imprisoned nonetheless.
“Only band members and crew are allowed backstage,” said Suwon with a shrug.
Now, it wasn’t that Sebastian was really that keen on seeing the concert in the first place,* or that he couldn’t handle a bit of alone time. But it was yet another day and night of not getting in touch with anyone, another day and night trapped like this. Of course, it wasn’t like going to the concert would change things….
Unless…
…going to the concert changed things.
Yes. The concert. The concert where there would be thousands of people, fans, paparazzi, technicians backstage. All the opportunities in the world to slip away, to escape. That was his chance.
“But can’t I come, just this one time? You said I could help,” said Sebastian.
“Rules are rules.” It did certainly seem that Suwon was a firm believer in rules being exactly what they were.
Suwon smiled. It wasn’t a victorious grin, or malicious. It seemed warm and kind. And full of some kind of understanding. Sebastian once again found himself incapable of knowing what to do with such a smile. Such a person. It made him all the more uneasy.
He returned to Kwan’s room—what else could he possibly do?—and felt even more unnerved when he heard the sound of the door being locked behind him. He was tiptoeing across the room to return to his sofa when he heard Kwan speak up.
“What’s going on?”
Sebastian thought maybe he shouldn’t answer honestly. After all, he was getting pretty used to this lying thing. Plus he had a new escape plan. But there was something in him that wanted to share. And it wasn’t for his own sake. It was for Kwan’s. He wanted to protect him. To warn him about Suwon. It was a risk, but he felt it was worth taking: “I tried to leave so I could find a way home, but Suwon wouldn’t let me.”
Kwan sat up in bed. It was hard to read his expression in the dark, but Sebastian really hoped the boy was on his side.
“He won’t let you?”
“He doesn’t believe I was kidnapped. He thinks I ran away. My guess is that he wants to adopt me. As your band’s helper.” For a brief moment Sebastian contemplated that scenario. Well, it would be better than being one of the Lost Boys, that was for sure. The feeling of sheer horror at the possibility of performing in front of huge crowds was too much for him. He barely enjoyed doing short presentations at school, for crying out loud. (And in fact, he had—cried out loud—over having to do his
very first presentation ever in kindergarten, a show-and-tell involving a compass.)
“Oh. Well, I suppose that’s nice of him.”
“Is it? Is it nice of him? He’s basically holding me prisoner!” Sebastian’s unease was turning quickly to anger.
“Well, no, I suppose that’s a problem. But he tries so hard. When he took me in…” Once again Kwan stopped midthought. Sebastian didn’t feel it was the right moment to tell him he now knew the story. “Well, when he took me in, he was encouraging about my singing, about my dancing, and was so excited about how talented I was and that I was going to be a big star. He was so proud of me.”
“And yet you don’t want to tell him that maybe you want to do something more with your life and leave the band.”
“Of course not,” Kwan said quickly. Sebastian stayed quiet, fuming a little to himself. “What? What is it?” asked Kwan, noticing.
“I was just thinking how wrong that is. And it’s frustrating that you can’t see it. You don’t want him to know that you want to leave the band because you’re scared of what he’ll do, and that’s not right!”
Kwan was silent. The kind of silent that was so charged, it could power a small town. “I think that’s personal.”
“Well, I think it’s wrong. I think Suwon is wrong. He’s wrong to hold you back from pursuing your dreams, to force you to be a pop star. He’s wrong to forbid you from using the Internet and from having phones. How are you going to ever learn what you want? To get to live the life you truly want? How are you ever going to learn how to take care of yourselves? It doesn’t matter if it comes from a good, protective, proud place. It’s wrong.” Sebastian was pacing the room now, though he’d only just noticed he was doing it.
“He’s not holding me back. He doesn’t even know I have these dreams,” Kwan said slowly.
Sebastian stopped pacing and placed his hands on his hips. He was angry now. Not at Kwan but at Suwon, at his own situation. “Well, why don’t you tell him, then? Because you’re afraid of him! You’re afraid he’ll do something if you leave the band! Because you’re really his prisoner and—”
The Reckless Rescue Page 10
