Jessie and her parents sat behind us. Like us, they arrived early. While Easton talked to the girls, I kind of eavesdropped on their conversation. I didn’t mean to, but it was hard not to.
“I still can’t believe Blake refuses to come to church,” I heard Jessie’s dad say.
“Dad, I told you he would come once … you know.”
“Well, that’s something I guess, but why is he keeping my granddaughter away today?”
“Yes, why is Maddie not here?” Jessie’s mom, Gloria, asked.
“First of all, it is Father’s Day, so Maddie wanted to be with her dad and—” Jessie paused. “She wanted to visit her mom’s grave today while Blake visited Carter’s.”
“I still can’t believe you buried her here,” her dad growled.
“Dad, this is Maddie’s home and she wanted her mom to be buried close by. And Sabrina did die here.”
I remembered Jessie mentioning to me that they had put Maddie’s mom in hospice care close by during her final days. I thought it was one of the most unselfish acts I had ever heard of. I wasn’t surprised. Jessie was probably one of the kindest people I had ever met, but I was amazed at her strength after everything she had been through. I’m sure it had to do with her love for her stepdaughter. Love of a child can make us do things we never thought we could. I know Ashley had helped me endure through the years.
Jessie continued consoling her father, “And we are all having dinner tonight together, so you can see Maddie then.”
I could hear Dr. Ryan grumble some, but that information seemed to appease him.
I smiled to myself, thinking about their interactions. I also wondered what event was going to make Blake Summers come to church. I reminded myself not to be too curious. I was trying my best not to get sucked into the town grapevine, which I’m sure Easton and I were the stars of right now.
And to prove my point, Jessie leaned forward. “You know, Easton had never missed a game until you moved here.” There was a conspiratorial tone to her words.
Easton and I both turned to look at her. Her beautiful face held the most evil grin.
I held up my stitched hand in my defense.
“We all heard. I hope you feel better soon.”
I didn’t even want to know how “we all” heard. It wasn’t surprising, though. This town had an incredible network of busy bodies. I wouldn’t count Jessie among them, though. “Thank you. I will be as good as new in no time at all.”
“Shane said we won,” Easton chimed in.
“Yes. Maybe we’ll finally win the championship this year. I’m tired of coming in second place behind Riley’s Insurance,” Jessie said with some vehemence.
“Shane seems confident this is the year,” Easton replied.
“He said that last year,” Jessie said lightheartedly.
The Pastor stood up and Jessie took that as her signal to sit back. Easton grinned at me and I smiled closed lipped.
The sermon began and I braced myself for the uneasiness. You would think I would be used to it, but sadly I wasn’t. It felt even more awkward having Easton so close. I took a deep breath. Pastor Bates started off like most other Father’s Day sermons I’d heard in the past. He extolled the virtues of fatherhood and being a good husband. He spoke of his own joy of being both and of how much he loved his wife and children. But then his focus shifted.
“There are also those of you that may be saying to yourselves this day, ‘why wasn’t I blessed with a good father or perhaps a good husband?’ Or maybe you feel like you will never have the opportunity to be either a husband or a father.”
My head had been down, but I lifted it to look at him, and it was as if he was speaking directly to me.
“To those of you, I ask you to remember that you each have a perfect Father in Heaven. He will never abandon you or let you down. He knows perfectly what you need. To Him you can always look, and He, through His Son, can heal your hearts on this day and always.”
The tears streamed down my cheeks. In all my years attending church no words had ever penetrated my heart so fully. It was like the knot loosened a bit more. I felt foolish for crying, especially in front of my ex-husband. I knew he was looking at me. I could feel it. As soon as the Pastor sat down and the final hymn began, I excused myself with my daughter. I escaped to my old hiding place—a tiny room above the stage that always seemed to be unused, at least it had when I lived here before. I was hoping it still would be. I needed some time alone to process. Process what had been said today, and even what Easton and I had discussed the previous night.
I crept up the narrow steps that led directly to the tiny room. I opened the door and found it dark and unoccupied, so I flipped on the switch and walked in. The room was filled with dust covered old boxes and it smelled a little musty, but I didn’t let that bother me. I took one of the two wooden chairs, brushed it off, and took a seat. For a moment, I only focused on trying to compose myself. The tears were relentless. I felt overwhelmed by the thought that maybe God really did care about me. That He knew how I was feeling and He wanted me to know that He had been listening to my prayers. And for the first time in a very long time, I felt like maybe I could feel whole. I would say whole again, but I’m not sure I had ever been whole before. I did a great imitation of it, but I never quite got it.
In my quiet contemplation, the door creaked. I hastily stood up and wiped my cheeks. I figured it was probably some teenage kids or something, but I was more than surprised when I recognized Rachel Whitney, my insurance agent’s daughter.
“Oh, I’m sorry,” she said. “I didn’t think anyone would be in here.”
I noticed her eyes, too, were red and a little misty.
I shook my head embarrassed. “Don’t be sorry. I um … I needed a moment.”
She smiled and nodded her head. “Yeah, me too. I could do without this holiday.”
I knew I liked her. I laughed little. “You and me both. Well … I’ll leave you to your moment.” I stood up to leave.
“Please stay,” she said.
I pulled out the extra chair for her and I reoccupied the one I had vacated. “So, what do you have against the day?”
She laughed. “I forget you probably don’t know everyone’s business yet.”
“I’m hoping to avoid it.”
“Good luck with that,” she said. She sighed deeply. “My twin sister died seven years ago and I’m raising her son, my son, alone. Single girl problems, you know.”
“Believe me, I know. I’m sorry about your sister.”
She grinned in appreciation. “You and Dr. Cole at least seem to get along well for exes.”
I laughed out loud. “Is that the impression we give?”
She turned her head to the side. “You don’t? Wow! The grapevine really is broken in this town. The talk is you’re reconciling.”
“I don’t know why people would think that.”
“Really?” she said with a hint of surprise.
“You’re shocked?”
Her face reddened slightly. “Honestly, yes. I’ve noticed the way he looks at you and I assumed you were together again since you’re always together at church now, and maybe there was a rumor about you sneaking off together last night.”
Now I was more than astonished. I held up my injured hand. “I cut myself last night and unfortunately it required stitches.”
“Oh … I’m sorry. That looks painful.” But she was still grinning.
“What?”
“Let’s just say you were the topic of conversation in the foyer this morning.”
I didn’t know whether I should laugh or cry, but I settled on finding the humor in the situation. “I had no idea so many people cared.”
“It won’t take you long to figure out, but in this town, everyone cares.”
“Actually, I know. I grew up here.”
“Really?”
“Until I was fifteen, and then Easton I and lived here for a couple of years before...you know.”
>
She nodded her head.
“So what was your maiden name?”
I guess there was no hiding it. I was surprised she didn’t already know. “My father is Frank Roberts.”
Dawning crossed her beautiful face and her violet eyes widened.
“Yes, that Frank Roberts.”
“Sorry …”
“Please don’t apologize. I know the reputation Frank has and he is well deserving of it. He’s part of the reason I’m up here wishing it was Monday already.”
“I’m sorry he’s not doing well.”
I shrugged my shoulders. “You know, I haven’t talked to him since my mother died fifteen years ago.” I don’t know why I shared that with her. We were practically strangers, but she didn’t seem to judge me.
“I guess I can at least be thankful I have a good dad, but I don’t even know who my son’s father is.”
“That’s terrible.”
“Well, my sister Sydney wasn’t the most responsible of people. She hid her pregnancy from us until almost the end. And she took the identity of Drew’s father to the grave with her.” Her tears flowed more freely. I handed her a tissue from my purse.
“Thank you. At least she’s at peace now.”
“I noticed your son looks a lot like you.”
She smiled at the mention of him. “I guess that’s one good thing about raising your identical twin’s child, but I would like to think he’s like me in more ways than the genes we share.”
“I’m a big believer in nurture, so I have no doubt he is a lot like you,” I responded.
She waved her tissue. “I don’t even know why I’m crying. Most of the time, I don’t even care that I’m single. It’s better that way, right?” She seemed unsure.
I thought for a moment. “I go back and forth on that, but I’ve pretty much convinced myself it’s better.”
“I feel like I could never trust a man to be the father Drew deserves.”
I nodded. I’d had the same feelings over the years. I had dated, but never got serious with anyone because I didn’t want to bring another man into our lives just to have him leave us, or worse. “I’m the last person to give out advice in this area, but trust your motherly instincts, you’ll know if the right person comes around.”
I should probably take the same advice, but after Easton let us go so easily—or so it seemed at the time—I felt like if Ashley’s own father could do such a thing, I could never trust another man not to.
She smiled through her tears. “Thank you.” Her eyes brightened like she got an idea. “Hey, you should come to girl’s night at Jessie Belle’s.”
I was surprised by the invitation. And I hadn’t had a girl’s night in forever. I guess every night was girl’s night in our house. “Um …”
“I know most of us are youn—”
I raised my eyebrow at her.
“I mean, less mature than you.”
I laughed. “You can say it, I’m old.”
She touched my knee. “If this is old, then sign me up. We all can’t believe you’re old enough to have a teenager. It’s no wonder your ex-husband can’t take his eyes off you.”
“I think you’re mistaken.”
She grinned. “Me and the whole town, then.”
I think I actually blushed. How old was I anyway? “Really, you have it all wrong. We aren’t even friends.”
“If you say so,” Rachel said, unconvinced. “But really, I’m sure Jessie and the crew would love to have you. Jessie finally convinced me to start coming a few months ago.”
This time I didn’t hesitate. “Sounds perfect.” I found myself actually feeling excited about it.
We spent the rest of Sunday school hiding out in that musty little room, talking and even laughing. It was therapeutic. I almost wished I could stay up there longer, but I was sure Ashley was wondering where I was, and Rachel had to get Drew.
The first person I ran into was a harried Easton.
“Are you okay? Where have you been?”
“Of course I’m okay. I just needed a …” How did I explain it?
His eyes narrowed in concern. “I was worried when you rushed out of the chapel. I’ve been looking everywhere for you.”
I didn’t think I would worry anyone, especially him. “I’m sorry I worried you.”
He stepped closer until we were mere inches apart. I couldn’t help but smile at the talk we were probably generating, especially after the conversation I’d had with Rachel.
“What are you grinning about?” Easton asked.
I looked around at our fellow churchgoers, who were definitely interested in us, but trying to casually not be interested in us. “Ask me later.”
He looked confused. “Are you sure everything is all right?”
“I’m working on it,” I answered honestly.
Again, he narrowed his eyes in confusion.
I didn’t try to clear it up. “So, we’ll see you around five?”
He nodded his head yes.
With that, I left to find my girl … our girl.
I spent the afternoon putting the final touches on dinner. I still couldn’t believe I was doing this. The girls were excited, so I tried to remember I was doing this for them. And admittedly, I felt better toward my ex after our little talk and today’s sermon. Like I told Grams during our weekly call after church, I thought I could finally get over him now, and perhaps we could eventually be friends.
“Hmm …” she replied.
“Isn’t that a good thing?” I asked her.
She took a moment to reply. “Honey, I’m glad you’re working out your feelings after all this time, just make sure that when you’re done working through everything, you get the right results.”
“What does that mean?”
“Exactly what I said. Now let me talk to my angel.”
Grams was never one to be cryptic, so I wondered what she was trying to get at. What better results were there than finally getting over Easton and emotionally moving on? I didn’t have time to think about it; I needed to put the final touches on dinner.
It was a good thing I was on top of things as Easton and Emmy were early. I opened the door to find them both grinning at me. Easton held a lovely bouquet of mixed flowers.
“What’s this?”
Emmy ran under my arm and into the house without a word, and Easton handed me the bouquet.
“I think you may have mixed up the holidays,” I said.
“This is my way of saying thank you.” He smiled sweetly.
I breathed in the scent of the flowers. “They’re beautiful, thank you.”
He walked in and breathed deeply through his nose. “I haven’t had Italian beef in years.”
I thought that was odd. “Doesn’t your brother still live in Chicago?” I had been sending Christmas cards to Caden and his wife, Nicole, for years. I sighed a little, thinking about them. I missed them. Our relationship was never quite the same after the divorce, which wasn’t surprising, but I had very fond memories of our visits to the windy city and their visits to us in Alabama. We were the best of friends at one time.
He rubbed the back of his neck, and if I wasn’t mistaken, he was a little red. “Yes, they still live there. It’s just been a long time since I’ve seen them.”
I was more than surprised. Caden and Easton were like two peas in a pod. When those two got together you couldn’t tear them apart. They always pushed their visits to the last possible moment, even if it meant driving home in the middle of the night. I remembered how Nicole and I were treated to the life and times of the Cole boys every visit. How they turned out so well, I still have no idea, but I never remembered laughing so hard.
“Did something happen?” It really wasn’t my business, but I couldn’t imagine Easton and Caden not making time to see each other.
He hung his head and paused. “We had a falling out several years ago.”
I shook my head in confusion. I couldn’t believe it. “What happ
ened?”
He looked at me squarely. “I don’t want to talk about it.”
With that, I turned and walked toward my kitchen. I felt him follow, but he joined the girls in the family room. I didn’t know whether to feel annoyed at his shortness or to feel sorry for him because I could see it was a painful subject for him. I think I felt some of both, but mostly sorry for him. Caden wasn’t only his brother—they were best friends. I reminded myself it wasn’t any of my business. I placed my beautiful flowers in a vase and sighed deeply. I turned my attention to dinner. It was almost done.
As soon as I began shredding the beef, Easton joined me in the kitchen looking dour. “Here, let me do that. Your hand has to be hurting you.”
“I can’t let you make dinner on Father’s Day.”
He took the forks right out of my hands. “Believe me, I’m used to it.”
I reached over to try and take them back. “That statement didn’t help your cause.”
He held them up and away from me and half grinned. His depressed state wasn’t allowing for full smiles. “Go sit down, I’ve got this.”
I rolled my eyes. “Suit yourself.” I walked around the island, took a stool, and watched him carefully shred his dinner like a surgeon.
“I’m sorry for snapping at you.” He seemed not to want to look at me.
“You didn’t snap at me, and honestly, I shouldn’t have asked. It’s none of my business.”
He looked up slowly, directly at me. Trouble still brewed in his eyes, but they pierced me. “Like it or not, we are each other’s business. We have a daughter together and last I checked, you still bear my last name, so let’s get past that. Okay?”
My eyes involuntarily widened. I felt like I had been put in my place and I wasn’t sure how to respond.
His face and features softened. “Taylor, ever since you left my life has felt like a series of mistakes, but I’m trying to correct what I can, especially where Ashley is concerned. That means we’re going to be in each other’s lives, so we might as well be friends.” He grinned for real.
Taylor Lynne: The Women of Merryton - Book Two Page 10
