“She approached her captor. It was as if he recognized her, too, but she thought how could he? He had surely tortured hundreds, if not thousands of prisoners like herself. In an unprecedented act of humanness, she took the man’s large hand in her small one. With tears in her eyes, she looked up into his and said, ‘I forgive you.’
“The once brazen soldier dropped to his knees and embraced the woman in the middle of the market and cried like a baby.”
“Why did she forgive him?” I asked with emotion. My words almost caught in my throat.
“She was asked that very question many times, and her answer was always the same. The burden of hate and resentment was not hers to bear; she had given it over to God. A God that commanded her to forgive all. She realized long before she had the chance to let the soldier know she had forgiven him—along with all of her captors—that she didn’t have to carry the heavy burden of not forgiving. She believed that Christ had atoned for all, and that even at times it was hard for her to comprehend, she knew God loved that soldier as much as He loved her.”
That last line struck me like a bolt of electricity. I looked over at Frank.
The Pastor sat back in his chair looking pleased with himself. “I’m thinking of using that as part of my sermon tomorrow. What do you think?”
I think he knew exactly what I thought. Without looking his way, I responded, “I think it would resonate with the congregation.”
He smiled and stood up. “I hope so. Please let me know if I can do anything for you or your family,” he said on his way out.
I nodded silently.
I didn’t have the heart to dive back into my outline after the insightful Pastor left. I stared at Frank and thought a lot about forgiveness. It wasn’t only Frank I needed to forgive. I needed to forgive Easton, and … myself. Easier said than done.
Easton called late in the afternoon to check on me and let me know he and the girls were on their way back. “Why don’t you come to the game tonight? Take a break,” he suggested.
“Okay,” I agreed easily.
“We’ll see you soon,” he said with a smile in his voice.
I sat back and continued to stare at the shell of the man in front of me. I still couldn’t fathom that we were related. I could see no hint of resemblance in his features. I wondered what hold he’d had over my dear, sweet mother. She deserved so much more. I supposed she had put up with the abuse for so long because she couldn’t see a way out, or maybe she felt like she deserved it. How she kept believing his lies, I’d never know. Maybe she needed to, or even wanted to.
I was putting away my laptop, getting ready to head home and then to the ball field when I heard a voice that stopped my heart using a name I loved.
“Tessa,” Frank said, barely above a strangled whisper.
For a brief second, the voice paralyzed me. I couldn’t look up, but he spoke again. “Tessa, I’m so sorry.”
Wasn’t he always? I willed myself to look at him. I could see tears in his yellowed eyes. “It’s not Tessa, it’s Taylor.” I wanted to tell him never to speak my mother’s name, but I couldn’t.
He tried to sit up but didn’t have the strength. Me, I felt like my heart would beat out of my chest. I wasn’t sure what to do. I almost wished Easton was with me. I needed someone.
“Taylor.” It sounded like he expended all of his energy saying my name.
I didn’t know what to say to him as he struggled to keep his tear-filled eyes opened and focused.
“Do you want me to call for a nurse?” I asked.
“No. You came home,” he rasped.
I shook my head no. I wasn’t home.
He tried reaching out for me. “You’re beautiful, like your mother.”
I refused to take his skeletal hand. I stood up. “I need to go.” I felt like I couldn’t breathe. I thought I was numb to him, but anger filled me. I wasn’t ready to do this.
I’ve never seen anyone look so utterly defeated. “Will you come back?” he asked in desperation.
I grabbed my stuff and didn’t say a word before I ran out of there. I barely remembered to stop and take off the protective layer of clothing and wash my hands. I informed the nurses on duty he was awake before I left.
I didn’t head home; I headed straight for Jessie Belle’s. I marched into the café and ran right into Jessie.
“Taylor,” she said surprised. She looked me over. “Are you okay?”
I sighed out heavily. “I need the most fattening thing you have on your menu.”
Her eyes bugged out and she grabbed my hand. “What’s wrong?”
All I could mutter was, “Frank.”
I saw understanding in her eyes. She dragged me to her counter. “I have just the thing—orange rolls. They’re the reason I took up Zumba.”
“Perfect. I’ll take two.”
She grinned perceptibly. “How about we start with one and then we’ll see how you feel.”
“You’re a good friend,” I almost cried.
She went around the counter and placed two orange rolls in a to-go bag. She came back around and took my hand. “Let’s walk to the park and talk.”
“What about the game?” I asked.
She grinned wickedly. “I can see Blake in baseball pants anytime I want.”
“I better call Easton and let him know I’m not coming.” When I said his name a hush fell over the café and everyone looked my way. “On second thought, maybe I’ll text him,” I said for Jessie’s ears only.
“How about I call Blake?” she offered.
I nodded like a child that needed help. I guess I did need help. The knot in my chest was tighter than ever.
I needed a friend.
Chapter Nineteen
Jessie and I sat on the park bench farthest away from the playground. Privacy was a rare beast in Merryton, but we were doing our best to keep our conversation between the two of us.
Jessie handed me one of her orange rolls.
I took the unhealthy, carb-filled pastry and dove right in. Oh my gosh. “Wow,” I said after my first bite. “You’re definitely in the right business.”
“Like I said, those little beauties have me in the gym frequently.”
I looked her over. “You don’t look like you’ve ever eaten one.”
She smiled. “Thanks. So tell me the real version of what’s going on. I’ve already heard the sensationalized tale.”
I leaned back on the wooden bench and rolled my eyes while indulging in what might well have ruined twenty years of eating right. “What is the story on the grapevine?”
Jessie leaned back too. Her pretty eyes danced with amusement. “Let’s see, you’ve apparently turned Merryton General into General Hospital. Not only is your ex-husband hopelessly in love with you, but now he and Dr. Carmichael are fighting over you. And, of course, you are stringing both men along.”
“What!” I exclaimed.
“Oh, yes,” she laughed.
“This town is too much. None of that is remotely true.”
“Everyone is pulling for Easton, especially since he has been holding vigil with you over your father’s dying body.”
“There is a tiny grain of truth there,” I admitted. “Easton stayed with me yesterday, but we weren’t holding a vigil over Frank.”
She squeezed my free hand. “Seeing Frank must be really difficult for you.”
I popped the last bite of orange roll in my mouth and savored it while I gathered my thoughts. “More difficult than I imagined it would be,” I confessed after swallowing.
She held out the bag containing the second roll. “Ready for another?”
I shook my head. “I better not. My system may go into shock. And my emotions are already wreaking havoc on my body. Moving back here was a mistake.”
“Was it really?” she asked with hesitation.
I bent over and rubbed my face in my hands. “For Ashley’s sake no, but all this town holds for me is bad memories and monumental loss.”
>
“Maybe it’s time to make some good memories,” she suggested.
“All I’m doing right now is trying to survive. I want my money back.”
“Money back?”
I sat up and looked over to her intrigued face. “I bought into this brochure that guaranteed living close to my ex wouldn’t affect me. It promised I could be apathetic toward him and his daughter and basically ignore him unless we had to be at some function for our daughter. It didn’t prepare me at all for Emmy, who’s the sweetest thing ever, or Easton, who was supposed to be a louse, but isn’t. Did you know Easton’s been taking care of Frank this whole time, financially and otherwise?”
Jessie’s eyes widened. I took that as a no.
“Yeah, and he’s acting like father of the year.”
“And this is a bad thing?”
“Not at all, but it has brought into question so many of my choices. And now with Frank, I desperately want to run back to Alabama, but I know this time I can’t.”
She took my hand. “Last year, when my whole world seemed to be crashing down around me, my therapist suggested that I give myself a break. That I take a step back and give myself credit for making it another day. I think you need to do that. Not only that, but see the good you’re doing.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well for starters, Emmy. We’ve all noticed a difference in her since you’ve been back. And let’s be honest, not many women in your shoes would be half as kind to Emmy as you’ve been.”
“She’s an innocent little girl. Anyone would do the same.”
Jessie shook her head. “Her own mother didn’t come close to treating her as well as you have.”
“Her mother is ridiculous.”
“Among other things,” Jessie added.
“Believe me, I didn’t plan on being so involved in Emmy’s life.”
“Yet you are. And from the hospital talk, you’re really breathing life into your job and helping new moms.”
“You make me sound better than I am. I can’t even stand to be around my own father. If he died today, I wouldn’t shed a tear. What kind of person does that make me?”
“A human one. I don’t know your whole story, but I’ve heard enough of Frank’s stories to know you have a right to feel the way you do. I admire you for even being willing to see him.”
I wiped the tears that had started falling as we talked. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to lay all of this on you.”
“I’m glad you did, and I’m happy you’re back. I’m here if you need to talk.”
“Thanks, Jessie. I’m here for you too.”
“That’s good to know. I will probably need your advice soon.”
I looked at her inquisitively and she blushed.
“What about?”
She grinned. “Well, that will have to wait for another conversation. What do you say we go see how the guys are faring? I hope we win tonight. That way we’ll have one more shot to beat Riley Insurance in the championship game.”
We both stood up and she hugged me tight. It reminded me how much women needed women.
***
Jessie Belle’s did indeed win, which meant they would face their foe at the end of July. There was no celebratory ice cream at the end—the girls were exhausted from their long day at the amusement park and Easton wanted to check in on Frank. That meant the girls came home with me, which was perfect. I had been missing both of them.
The three of us snuggled together on the couch and watched Cinderella, the new live version. It was more like I watched and they promptly fell asleep. I was covered in brunette beauties. It was an enviable position, and exactly what I needed after the last couple of days.
A few minutes after ten, there was a light rapping on my door. I carefully untangled myself from the slumbering princesses and made my way to the door to greet their father. Standing there in his dirty baseball uniform, he looked just as tired as his daughters. I guess you could see to patients in any type of apparel.
“Emmy’s asleep,” I informed him.
He smiled tiredly. “Can we talk?”
I nodded and invited him in.
“Why don’t we talk on the porch?” he suggested.
Oh, it was going to be one of those kinds of talks. I grabbed a sweater from the coat rack near the door. Even in July it could get cool up here.
Easton helped me put on my light pink sweater. He really needed to quit being a gentleman.
We each took a seat on the top stone step and looked at each other like now what.
“How are you holding up?” he asked.
I ran my fingers through my hair and hemmed and hawed. “I’m trying. How are you? You look tired.”
“I’m finding I’m not as young as I used to be.”
“I have that same problem.”
He reached up and tucked some of my hair behind my ear. “You still look young to me.”
“I think your eyesight is failing you.”
He shook his head. “I don’t think so.”
I felt heat in my cheeks from the compliment. “So, did you want to talk about how we are aging?”
He chuckled. “No. I talked to Frank tonight.” Easton looked wary. He paused before he proceeded.
I stiffened at the mention of Frank’s name, and Easton took my hand. I looked down at our perfectly matched hands, and it was anything but comforting.
“He seems to be responding to the treatment,” Easton said first.
I remained emotionless. I was a terrible person. It wasn’t that I wanted him to suffer. I didn’t wish those kinds of things on people, but I was numb. It was a coping mechanism.
“He mentioned he saw and talked to you. You don’t know how happy that made him,” Easton was proceeding with caution as he spoke.
I looked off into the distance. “I can’t understand why it would.”
“You’re his daughter.”
“No, he’s the sperm donor that made my life possible. He’s never treated me like a father should treat a daughter.”
He brought our clasped hands up and put them securely in his other hand. “Is that what you’ve called me over the years? Ashley’s sperm donor?”
I looked up at him and saw a faint trace of a smile. I shook my head. “No. I don’t put you and Frank in the same category.”
“I’m glad to know I rate higher than Frank in your book.”
I nudged him with my shoulder. “Barely,” I teased.
“Ouch. I am trying.”
“I know you are. I’m trying, too.”
“I’m sorry this has been so hard for you. I would say I’m sorry I asked you to move back here, but that would be a lie. Having Ashley and you here is the best thing that has happened to Emmy and me in a long time.”
I wanted to ask him what had happened with Kathryn, but I wasn’t sure I wanted to know. I got the feeling he didn’t really want me to know. “I’m happy you’re making things right with Ashley. Speaking of making things right, I want you to stop paying me alimony.”
He looked at me confused. “Why?”
“I don’t want or need your money. I haven’t for a long time. I’m surprised you didn’t take me up on the offer earlier. Now I find out your supporting Frank, too.”
He thought for a moment before he spoke. “If it wasn’t for you, I wouldn’t have made it through medical school, my residency, and even the first couple of years of running my own practice.”
I couldn’t believe what he was saying.
“I know it didn’t seem like it,” he responded to my scrutiny, “but knowing you had everything else handled took a lot of pressure off of me. More than it should have. I should have put my family first, but I thought I was by doing my job the best way I knew how. And you don’t know how much all of your packed lunches and dinners and encouragement meant to me while I was at UAB. Even just waking up to you, and knowing I had you to come home to. You helped me push through. You deserved to take part in my success.”
With my free hand, I wiped at the corner of my eye. Why did he have to be so sweet?
“And,” he reluctantly added. “It was the only way I could make sure Ashley was fully taken care of without starting a major war on my end with Kathryn.”
I shook my head. “What do you mean?”
“I always wanted to give Ashley more, but it was a major source of contention in my marriage. I knew you would use the alimony for Ashley, so I kept paying it. I guess it eased my guilt.”
Curiosity got the better of me. “Easton, I don’t understand why you stayed with her.”
He looked up to the sky. “I don’t either. I tried leaving her after you let Ashley come and stay with me when she was five. I already knew I had made a terrible mistake in marrying her, but that was the final nail in the coffin.”
“I’m confused. That was a long time ago.”
“Let’s just say don’t hire an attorney in this town whose secretary is friends with your wife.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah. She found out I wanted a divorce and begged for us to work it out. She promised me things would get better—she would go to counseling for her anger issues, I could see Ashley more, and we could have a baby together.”
That piqued my interest.
“I had been wanting more children and she changed her tune after we got married and decided children would only get in the way.”
“I’m sorry if this sounds cold, but why did you believe her?”
He sighed. “Because I was only in my mid-thirties and I didn’t want to be divorced twice. I didn’t want to be divorced the first time.”
I started to pull my hand away.
He tightened his gentle grip. “I’m not blaming you,” he said to ease the tension. “I should have gone after you.”
“So why didn’t you see Ashley more?”
“I tried,” he said with some amount of desperation. “Every time I booked a trip something would come up. She would have a pregnancy scare or an emotional breakdown. Once Emmy came, I couldn’t leave Emmy with her and she would have never let me take her with me.”
“Why didn’t you tell me? I would have brought Ashley here so she could see you.”
Taylor Lynne: The Women of Merryton - Book Two Page 18
