by Kate Lattey
“Well, we’re definitely interested in Skip,” Jordan said firmly, sipping more wine and redirecting the subject. “We’ll touch base with you again after Pony of the Year, shall we?”
Dad nodded agreeably as I stood up, setting my half-empty Coke can on the table.
“I’d better go check on the ponies.”
Connor stood up too. “I’ll come with you.”
“So that was awkward.”
I huffed out an angry breath. “You think?”
“Your dad always like that?”
“Yep. Decides my life for me, and expects me to just go along with it.”
“Hm.” Connor led Forbes a bit closer as I leaned against Skip’s shoulder while he grazed. The ponies had been fine in their yards, but I’d seized the opportunity to take them for a pick of grass instead of going back to the truck to bed, in case Dad had preceded me and was lying in wait to give me an earful. Buck had been lying down dozing, and had been very reluctant to get up when I’d suggested it, so we’d left him behind to snooze.
I’d expected Connor to go and check on his own horses, but he hadn’t spared them so much as a glance as he followed me to my yards. He’d offered to walk Forbes out for me, and now we were standing in the middle of the cross-country course, letting the ponies graze on the dry grass. It was little better than eating hay, but they seemed to relish the chance to stretch their legs, and I was just happy for the chance to be alone. Well, almost alone. But the company was okay too.
“It’s just so typical of him,” I grumbled as Skip stopped eating for a moment, deciding to sniff my boot instead. I lifted my toe and nudged his nose, and he snorted and went back to grazing. “Just offering him to you guys without even discussing it with me. And all that crap about seeing how we go in Pony of the Year, ticking that one off the bucket list. His bucket list, not mine, I might add. I don’t think he even realised what he was saying. ‘Win the class and I’ll sell your pony.’ Right, because that’s an incentive.”
Connor grinned at me unsympathetically. “It’s gotta be time to move on though,” he said. “You can’t ride ponies forever, and those jumps start looking pretty small when you’re doing Young Riders.”
I shrugged, avoiding his eyes. “I guess they do, but I don’t really care about the height. It’s not about that.”
“So what’s it about?”
I thought for a moment. “It’s about doing the best I can, on the day. Building a good enough relationship with my ponies that I can always get a solid performance out of them. With Buck and Skip, it’s pretty easy. Forbes is more of a challenge, but that’s what I like about him.”
“Star’d be a challenge too,” he reminded me.
“Yeah, that’s true. And I like her. But…I don’t know. I like doing the pony classes.”
“Even though you don’t care about winning Pony of the Year.”
“Yeah. I mean, I wouldn’t exactly be gutted if I won, but it’s just a title at the end of the day, right? Just a rug and a sash and a bit of prize money.”
“And a garland. Don’t forget the garland,” Connor said. “I think there’s a cup, too.”
I waved my hand dismissively. “But what does any of that matter, really? If it was a choice between those things and keeping my pony, I know which one I’d make.”
“And here I thought you were ruthlessly competitive.”
“Well, you thought wrong,” I told him firmly. Maybe that had been true once, but it wasn’t any more.
“I’m starting to think that there are lots of things I’ve been wrong about, with you.” Connor came closer, Forbes’ lead rope in one hand, his half-empty beer bottle held loosely in the other. “How old are you?”
I swallowed, my throat gone suddenly dry. “Fifteen.”
He took another swig of beer, and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. “You’re just a baby.”
“I’ll be sixteen in June.”
An eyebrow lifted. “Bad month for a birthday.”
“I know.”
He was so close to me now that I had to tilt my head back to keep looking up at him. He smiled down at me, lowered his head, and then his mouth was pressed against mine, firm and insistent. I parted my lips in surprise, and he took that as further invitation to deepen the kiss. His mouth was warm, and tasted like beer. The sensation was overwhelming, although not entirely unpleasant. I felt caught off balance, and wondered if he could tell that this was my first kiss. His mouth was everywhere, smothering mine, and I did my best to respond appropriately, blundering my way through this completely unexpected turn of events.
Forbes snorted, and Connor drew back, breaking the connection between us. He looked at me, his head tilted slightly to the side, and a slow smile crept across his face. He didn’t say anything, just put his arm around my shoulders and hugged me against him for a moment. My head rested briefly against his collarbone, his breath was in my hair and his fingers tight around my upper arm. Then he let me go and stepped back, jiggling Forbes’ lead rope idly in his hand.
“It’s getting late. We should head back.”
I nodded, my mind reeling. What was going on? Did he actually like me, or had he just done that to see if he could - to see if I’d let him? I couldn’t tell, could barely see his face in the darkness as he turned away from me and started leading Forbes back towards the yards. I followed him in silence, my feet crunching on the brittle grass. Forbes’ long tail swished contentedly as he walked, and I tried to wrap my head around what had just happened.
What it all meant, and where it would go from here.
CHAPTER THREE
~ PRACTICE FENCE ~
“Who d’you reckon they’ll pick?”
“For what?”
“Duh. The pony team that’s going to Ireland.”
I turned my head slightly, my attention arrested by the other riders’ conversation, and I drew Buck to a halt. Pretending to be looking over the course, I eavesdropped shamelessly.
“Not me, anyway,” Grace shrugged, plucking idly at one of Summer’s plaits.
“They might,” her friend said loyally. “More likely to pick you than me, anyway. Especially after Flame stopped twice yesterday,” she added sulkily, her lower lip jutting into a pout.
I recognised her then as Grace’s friend from last night. More easily, I recognised her pony Flamethrower, a flashy chestnut mare with white stockings up to her knees.
“You’re still getting used to her,” Grace reassured her friend. “You’ll be fine.”
“I wish they were taking a proper pony team, like they did two years ago,” the girl complained. “Anna was telling me all about it yesterday. They had under-twelves, under-fourteens and under-sixteens. We might be in with a shot at making the team if they were doing that again, but they’re only taking two under-sixteens for the pony classes. We’re screwed.”
The steward sent her into the ring then, and I nudged Buck up alongside Grace. She turned to look at me, and I gave her a friendly smile.
“Heya Grace.”
“Oh, hi.” She didn’t seem thrilled to see me, but she didn’t ride away either. I pretended to watch her friend in the ring for a moment. Flame jigged across the grass, tossing her head restlessly, and the kid shortened her reins, holding the feisty mare’s head tightly.
“I didn’t know Anna had sold Flame.”
“Yeah, Issy got her for Christmas.” Her voice was flat, and I couldn’t tell whether she was shy, or just didn’t like me. Usually I’d assume the latter, but I decided to give her the benefit of the doubt.
“She’s a tough ride.” I bit off the second half of that sentence. For a kid.
Grace glanced at me again, her dark eyebrows knitting together. “Yeah, she is.” She glanced at Buck, then back at me. “Are you really retiring Buckingham after this season?”
I shrugged. “I dunno. Maybe.” Buck decided to make friends with Summer, reaching over and sniffing her nose. She laid her ears back and pulled a face at him, bare
ly suppressing a squeal. Unfazed, Buck turned his head away, deciding to mind his own business again. “So what’s all this about a young rider team going to Ireland?”
Grace seemed surprised by my question. “Didn’t you hear about it?”
“No.” I shrugged, trying not to seem bothered. “Must be out of the loop.”
Grace looked a bit cagey, but nodded. “It’s for a team competition in June. You have to be under-sixteen to make the team,” she added, looking at me through narrowing eyes. “At least, for the Juniors you do. They’re taking two under-eighteen riders as well, and two under-twenty-ones. At least, that’s what Mum said.”
“Connor planning to go?”
She shrugged. “Mum wants him to, but he’ll have hockey then and he doesn’t want to miss any tournaments.”
“I didn’t know he played hockey.”
“Yeah, he’s on the National Junior Development squad. He does heaps of training for it. That’s why he’s only got two horses this season. Doesn’t have time to work anymore than that.”
“Right.” Everyone had a life outside of horses, it would seem. Everyone except me. I cast my mind back over what Grace had said. “When in June is it?”
“Right at the start, I think. Just before the school holidays start.”
I grinned, relieved. I wouldn’t be sixteen until the end of June. I was about to ask more when Grace’s mum turned up at the gate to check that her daughter knew the course. She said a brief hello to me, and I wished Grace luck as I rode Buck away to finish his warm-up.
I knew that Dad would be all over this team thing as soon as he found out about it. His biggest ambitions for me all revolved around getting into a New Zealand team. He wanted so desperately to see that silver fern patch stitched onto the front of my competition jacket, and he’d been gutted when I’d never qualified for the Children’s FEI Final in the past, despite coming close a couple of times.
I squeezed Buck up into a trot, flexing my fingers on the reins as I asked him to go forward and bend around my leg. I’d never been to Ireland. I wondered what it was like, and who else was going to be gunning for a place on the team.
Katy, for starters. She sent me a text that afternoon to find out if I’d heard about it, and whether I was planning on putting my name forward. I texted her back straight away.
Yep. Just sneak in age-wise bc it ends a week before my birthday! Dads all over it like a rash haha. I hope we both get to go!!
I hit Send and shoved my phone back in my pocket, then finished buckling Forbes’ open-fronted tendon boots. Straightening up, I gave him a slap on the shoulder and looked him in the eye.
“Right, boy. You ready for this?”
Dad had his head bent over his paperwork as I stepped up into the truck to get my jacket. Despite last night’s chill, it was blisteringly hot today, and Forbes was sweating just standing around. I’d waited as long as I could before tacking him up for the class, but he preferred a long warm-up, and I wasn’t going to change our routine now. I’d just work him a little slower than usual, that was all. I grabbed my favourite burgundy jacket and slung it over my arm. Time enough to put that on when I was about to go into the ring.
“Coming?”
Dad wrote something else on a piece of paper, then set down his pen. “You ready to go?”
I nodded. “Yep.” My phone buzzed in my pocket, and I pulled it out and read Katy’s text as I went back outside.
Yeah thatd be sweet! Saw results on FB this morning, good work Skipper! What happened to Buck tho?
I smiled at the first part, then cringed at her second question. Skip had jumped a super double clear earlier to pick up another second placing and secure us the top spot on the overall leader board, but Buck had had a refusal at the wall, putting himself out of contention.
Had a stop. Not sure why. Its stinking hot down here tho and the grounds hard as rock so prob just feeling it on the old joints. Have scratched him from the rest of the show and will get him looked at when we get home
Dad made an impatient noise in the back of his throat as I sent the text, then shoved my phone into my pocket and kicked my left leg up for a leg-up. I waited for him to say something, or make me hand my phone over to him, but he didn’t. He grabbed my calf with one hand and boosted me into the saddle, then gave Forbes a pat on the neck before turning away to lock the truck behind us.
I tightened my girth as Forbes walked over to the ring, Dad strolling along at my side. All around us people greeted each other, waving and chatting and catching up with one another’s results. But nobody stopped me, or said hello, or asked me how my day was going. Forbes strode through them all like Moses parting the Red Sea, and I missed Katy and AJ, the only people who made me feel like a person and not like a leper.
I rode past the Campbells’ truck, where Grace was sitting on the ramp with her friend Issy. Seemingly unperturbed by the disastrous rounds they’d both had this morning, they were giggling over something on Grace’s iPad. Nearby, Jordan crouched next to her daughter’s pony, rubbing liniment onto Summertime’s legs. Issy’s mother was probably fussing over Flame in an equal manner, both parents working overtime to ensure that their children had a chance to compete at a level they didn’t seem ready for yet. I gave myself a mental kick, knowing that only a couple of years ago, I’d been no different. Worse, probably, because I’d thought I knew it all. Thought it only took better ponies and more determination, missing out on the empathy side of the equation altogether. The last two years had taught me otherwise, and despite how hard it had been to fall so far, I wouldn’t trade what I knew now for anything.
“So have you given the bay mare any more thought?” Dad broke into my thoughts, and I looked down at him. He tilted his head towards me, the sun reflecting off his polished sunglasses.
I kept my tone ambivalent. “I watched her go this morning,” I said. “Jumped pretty well.”
Actually, pretty well was an understatement. Star had cleared everything with room to spare, and there’d been several people on the sidelines admiring her. She’d been quick around the jump off too, just taking one rail at the second to last fence. I’d seen it coming as Anna had turned the corner, letting Star get a bit quick and not sitting her back on her hocks enough. She’d underestimated the length of the little mare’s stride, and by the time she’d realised her error, they’d been too close to the fence. Star had given it everything, but she’d rubbed the back rail of the oxer as she angled over it. She’d given Anna a good couple of bucks on landing, telling her off, and Anna had corrected her ride to finish the course, but it left them out of the ribbons in the highly-competitive class. With yesterday’s mixed result added to today’s, they wouldn’t be qualified for the Final tomorrow.
Dad echoed that conclusion as we reached the warm-up. “Nigel was saying earlier that they’ve late-entered her into the Non-Championship class tomorrow afternoon, since she didn’t qualify. Offered to let you take her round.” He couldn’t keep the enthusiasm out of his voice any longer, but I wasn’t so keen.
“Maybe.”
“What d’you mean, maybe?” Dad was frowning at me now. He stopped in the gate of the warm-up ring, putting a hand on Forbes’ rein to hold him still. “I thought you liked her.”
“I do. I just…” I ground my teeth together, then confessed. “I don’t want to screw it up.”
“You won’t.” There was such certainty in his voice. I wished I shared his confidence in me. “Rode her beautifully yesterday, didn’t you?”
“She went okay. But it’s different in the ring. Everyone will be watching, and…”
Dad clenched his jaw, betraying his impatience with me. “Susie, you’ve got to get over that,” he told me firmly. “Besides, it’ll be good practice for you to compete on a horse you’ve hardly ridden. That’s what you’ll have to do in Ireland, so you might as well get some practice in now.”
“I haven’t made the team yet,” I reminded him, but he scoffed.
“Bruce is a
selector. He knows you, knows how well you ride,” Dad said, his voice assured. “I’ll have a chat with him, make sure he knows how badly we want it.”
I heard the certainty in his voice, and knew that if money had to change hands to get me on that team, that he’d make that happen too. The thought of it made me shiver. I didn’t want to make the team if that’s what it would take. I wanted to be selected on merit, not on bank balance, and I was about to tell him that when we were interrupted.
“You’re blocking the gate.”
I looked up to see Anna in front of us, waiting to get out of the warm-up and into the ring.
“Oh, sorry.”
I nudged Forbes out of the way and she rode by with a frosty demeanour. I wondered if she’d overheard Dad’s last comment, and whether she’d interpreted it the same way I had. She was almost certainly going to put her name forward for the team, and had a high chance of being selected. Her parents were wealthy and she was ambitious, and with a couple of international team competitions already under her belt, she was almost a sure thing. At least she was over sixteen, so we weren’t competing for the same spot.
I sent Forbes straight into a trot and rode away from my father. He was right, as much as I always hated to admit it. I did have to practice riding unknown horses and ponies before a team event like that. And that was one thing Katy definitely had on her side. She’d grown up riding different ponies, picking up catch rides all the time, and everyone knew that she could get almost anything to go well. Forbes was the only tricky pony I’d ever had – all the others had come to me fully-trained. And even he had come to me with most of his quirks already ironed out.
