by L A Cotton
“Will he?” She sank back against my leather seats. “If Antonio doesn’t pull through… he’s too young, Matt.”
“Do you ever regret it? Marrying into the Family?”
“No, never. That’s not what this is.” She let out a weary sigh. “I just worry about the toll it will take on him.”
“Nic is one of the best people I know, Ari. He’ll find his way. Besides, he has you by his side. Something tells me you’ll never let him stray from his path.”
“I hope you’re right.”
“Hey, I am. You’re like the Bonnie to his Clyde.”
“You did not just say that.” Her laughter eased some of the tension in the car. “She’s going to be okay, right? Caitlin, I mean?”
“Yeah.” It came out strangled. “I mean, she’ll lay low at the cabin, we’ll deal with DiMarco, and she can go on with her life.”
“Matt…”
“What?”
“You sound like a wounded puppy.”
“I do not.” I shot her a scathing look.
She chuckled. “Do you think she’ll text you?”
“No.”
“So, why d’you do it?”
“Because…” I shrugged.
“Because… you care about her?”
“Because she’s the only woman I’ve thought about in the last eight months, Ari. And maybe that makes me a fool, but I never thought I’d get to see her again. Now she’s here, and I can’t believe it’s just so I can watch her disappear again.”
Arianne’s eyes drilled holes into the side of my face, but I couldn’t meet her stare.
“You’re a good guy, Matt,” she said, softly. “One of the best guys I know.”
“Yeah.”
Maybe that was the problem though.
Maybe I was too nice.
Everyone knew, nice guys usually finished last.
“Bambolina.” Nicco was up and out of his chair the second he spotted us. He scooped Ari into his arms, burying his face in the crook of her neck.
“How is he?” I asked Enzo.
“It’s not looking good.” Pain shone in his eyes as Nora rested her head on his shoulder. “He’s in surgery still. But he went into cardiac arrest. Medics managed to stabilize him, but they’re worried about swelling on his brain.”
I glanced over at Nicco and Ari, my stomach sinking into my boots.
“Matt,” Alessia appeared around the corner and ran straight into my arms. “You’re here.”
“Hey, Sia.” I hugged her tight. “How you holding up?”
“I…” She burst into tears, sobbing into my sweater.
“Shh, kid. It’s going to be okay.” I smoothed my hand down her long golden hair. “Where’s Genevieve?” I asked no one in particular.
“She went to visit her mom in Pawtucket last night. She’s on her way.”
Genevieve was my uncle’s housekeeper turned girlfriend. Their relationship was still fairly new and at his request no one made a big deal about it.
But she would want to be here.
I led Alessia over to the row of plastic chairs and sat down. She burrowed into my side, still sobbing.
“We can’t lose him,” she cried. “We can’t.”
“Uncle T is a fighter. He’s not going anywhere, Sia.”
But as I said the words, I felt nothing but dread. Uncle Toni was sick, and who knew what would happen when the doctors opened him up.
I dragged a hand down my face, tipping my head back against the wall. My gaze landed on Nicco and Ari. He was holding her like she was his life raft in an angry sea. He already looked older somehow, as if the burden of what was to come had aged him overnight.
I didn’t envy him. Not one bit. He had his beautiful wife and a beautiful home, but his life would never truly be his own.
It’ll never be yours either. I let out a weary sigh.
“Niccolò, Alessia.” Genevieve burst through the doors, running toward them.
“Gen,” Alessia jumped up to greet her, burrowing herself in the woman’s arms.
“Oh, sweet girl, shh. I’m here, I’m here.” They hugged each other tight, silence falling over the seven of us again.
My mind wandered to Caitlin, to our last conversation. I doubted she would ever call or text me, but I wanted to give her the option. It was just something I needed to do.
“Has the doctor been out?”
“Not since they took him to surgery,” Nicco said.
“Okay. I want you all to wait here while I go and speak to a nurse.”
“I can come—”
“Stay with your sister,” she said to Nicco. “I’ll be back as soon as I get some answers.”
Genevieve pressed a kiss to Alessia’s head and gently nudged her back to me. “Watch her,” she mouthed, and I nodded.
“She seems pretty calm,” Enzo said.
“The calm before the storm,” Nicco replied, his eyes vacant as he looked down the hall where Genevieve had disappeared.
“How did it go?” he asked, glancing between me and Arianne.
“Fine. Don’t worry about that right now. This is more important.”
Enzo caught my eye, and I knew what he was thinking. It was more important. But if DiMarco found out we were hiding Caitlin…
Then the shit would really hit the fan.
Genevieve returned with the doctor. It was good and bad news. The good news was they had stabilized Uncle Toni, but the bad news was they had put him into a coma to reduce swelling to his brain. The next forty-eight hours would be critical to his recovery.
Nicco and Arianne stayed with Genevieve, but I left with Enzo, Nora, and Alessia. She was going to stay with me and my family until we knew more.
“How is she?” Mom asked me as I joined her in the living room.
“Exhausted, scared… but I think it’ll do her good being with Bella.” My sister would watch out for her. The two of them were thicker than thieves.
“Poor girl. And Niccolò, mio Dio, such a weight on his shoulder.”
“I know, Mama.” I took a long pull on my beer.
“I can’t imagine…” She let out a heavy sigh. “If we lost your papa.”
“Don’t think about it.”
“It’s always there, figlio mio. This life… it takes so much from us.”
“Did you ever want to get out?” The words rolled off my tongue before I could stop them.
She tsked. “You think that is a choice?”
“No, Mama, I know it’s not… I just…”
“Matteo, what is it?”
“Nothing, Mama.”
“Is it a girl?” A knowing smile spread over her face. “You know, you’re not getting any younger. Your cousins have both settled down now, perhaps it’s time for you to think about meeting someone.”
“Because it’s that easy,” I grumbled.
“There must be someone. Nora and Arianne have plenty of friends at the college. Surely a pretty girl must have caught your eye? You know, if you’d stuck it out there, you could—”
“We’re not having this conversation.” I’d wanted to finish college, I had. But it had proved too hard splitting my time and keeping up pretenses, and given everything that was happening with Uncle Toni, I’d decided to withdraw.
“Why not?”
“Because…” I shrugged. “It’s weird.”
“You think I don’t know about the birds and the bees? About how young men like yourself like to sow your seeds far and wide before you settle.”
“That’s not the saying, Mama.”
“It’s my saying.” She tsked again, waving me off. “You are a good man, Matteo. Kind and compassionate. You think with your head. You’re not like some of these cogliones.”
“Mama!”
“What? I speak the truth.”
“I love you, Mama.”
“I love you too, figlio mio. And I just know there’s a good woman out there somewhere for you.”
Oh, Jesus. She was like a dog
with a bone. For a second, I’d contemplated telling her about Caitlin, but it would only raise her hopes.
My cell phone had burned a hole in my pocket all afternoon. I knew she wouldn’t text or call, but it didn’t stop my heart from stuttering every time I got a notification. If I had half a brain, I would forget all about her. But I couldn’t do it.
I couldn’t get her out of my fucking head.
If I were more like Enzo, I would have gone to the cabin and refused to leave until she agreed to talk to me. Or if I were more like Nicco, I would have made some grand gesture she couldn’t ignore.
But I wasn’t like them. I was Matteo Bellatoni. Loyal friend. Perpetual joker. Heart on his sleeve kinda guy.
And deep down, all I’d ever wanted was to meet the girl of my dreams.
I didn’t think I’d meet her only to lose her…
Twice.
Chapter 9
Caitlin
Matteo’s number pinned to the refrigerator taunted me.
After he and Arianne had left, I’d contemplated throwing it onto the open fire. But I hadn’t, yet.
I felt awful after railing at him the way I did, after finding out that Nicco’s father was sick. They were clearly all close—Arianne, Nicco, and his cousins—and I’d acted like a complete bitch.
But everything was so messed up. I wasn’t the same woman I was last summer when I’d spent the night with Matteo. So much had happened since then. Things I didn’t want to ever have to explain to him.
“You can come inside, you know?” I said to Luis as he swept the leaves off the steps leading up to the cabin.
“I’ll be in soon. Better to clear these now before the ground frost.”
“I’ll make a fresh pot of coffee.”
“Perfect.” He smiled.
They hadn’t been joking when they said Luis would keep to himself. I’d barely seen him in the few hours that had passed since Matteo and Arianne left.
It was hard to believe that less than six days ago, I was at DiMarco’s working a regular shift. And now… now my life was in tatters.
All because of him.
Tears burned my throat, but I swallowed them down. I didn’t agree to come here to wallow; I wanted to give myself time and space to heal and come back stronger.
But it was easier said than done. Too much time alone with my thoughts was dangerous. Grabbing my phone off the coffee table, I snuggled into the cushions and opened a new browser, typing in Niccolò Marchetti.
Article after article appeared, some documenting the merger between Capizola Holdings and the Marchetti Empire. The reports surrounding Nicco and Arianne’s wedding ranged from it being nothing more than a business deal; to an arranged marriage; to the Marchetti calling in payment of a debt from Roberto Capizola, Arianne’s father.
But I’d seen their relationship firsthand. There was no denying how much they loved one another.
I scrolled through some more articles before switching to the image search results. Photo after photo appeared of Nicco attending functions, charity events, gala dinners; there were even some photos of him and Arianne working at a community center in Romany Square. Then my eyes landed on him.
Matteo.
Gosh, he looked handsome in the black dinner suit, his dirty-blond hair swept to one side, his charming smile radiating off the screen. He was different to his cousins. They both had the typical dark Italian genes. But Matteo was much fairer. Like sunshine between two storm clouds. The thought made me smile as I ran my finger over his photo.
Guilt sat heavy in my chest at how I’d treated him earlier, and at the hospital. But I’d been so shocked to see him standing there, I hadn’t known what else to do. And after what Zander did to me… how could I look Matteo in the eye?
My eyes flicked over to the kitchen, snagging on the note pinned on the refrigerator. Even if I did text him, what the hell would I say?
I’d lied to him that night. Concealed the truth. And I’d do it again if it meant protecting myself.
With a small sigh, I switched off my cell and padded over to the kitchen. I needed to keep busy, which seemed almost impossible in a cabin in the middle of nowhere. But I’d spied a bookshelf full of books and a stack of puzzles, which was better than nothing.
Placing my cell on the counter, I switched on the coffee machine and went over to the puzzles, choosing one. A two-thousand-piece print of the New York skyline.
Satisfied with my choice, I made me and Luis a mug of coffee each and let him know it was ready.
By the time he came inside, I’d already moved to the coffee table and emptied out all the pieces.
“You like puzzles?” Luis asked, leaning back against the counter and sipping his coffee.
“I haven’t done a jigsaw puzzle since I was a child,” I admitted.
“Want a helping hand?”
“Sure, why not.”
Luis brought his coffee over and placed it on the floor out of harm’s way. “Okay, what have we got here.” He began sorting the pieces.
“Any idea on where we should start?”
“Outside pieces then build on those, preferably in sections.”
“Wow, I didn’t realize it was so complicated.” I chuckled, adding some outside pieces to his pile.
“I used to sit with my nonna and do puzzles. She loved them. But it’s been a long time since I did one for fun.”
“I’m not sure two-thousand pieces constitutes the word fun. But I figured it would keep my mind occupied.”
“You’ll be sucked in before you know it. Here you go, look.” He slotted a few pieces together like an old pro. “Now you have a point of reference.”
Luis stood and I frowned up at him. “What’s wrong?”
“You didn’t think I was going to do it for you, did you?” A faint smirk traced his mouth.
“Well, no, but a little help wouldn’t go amiss.”
“You’ll figure it out.” He winked and walked off.
Well then.
For the next forty minutes, I worked meticulously to sort the pieces into similar groups. Then I began matching them to the section Luis had completed. It was going to take me forever to finish it… if I ever did. But having a focus would be good for me.
Besides, I could kind of relate to the puzzle.
God, how pathetic, relating to a jigsaw puzzle.
I felt fractured though. Shattered into jagged pieces. It wasn’t any one thing that had led me to this point, it was an accumulation of events since my childhood.
But unlike this puzzle, which with time and patience I could fix…
I wasn’t sure anyone could ever fix me.
I woke with a start, drenched in sweat and clutching the crumpled bed sheets between my fingers.
“It’s just a dream,” I urged myself, willing my racing heart to calm down.
But it hadn’t been a dream at all.
It had been a nightmare.
Zander’s wolfish grin taunting me as he and his business associates circled me like predators hunting their prey. No matter how hard I ran, how fast I pumped my legs, I couldn’t outrun them. And then their laughter had morphed into voices I’d spent years trying to forget.
A violent shudder rolled through me as I leaned over and snatched my shiny new cell phone off the nightstand and checked the time.
A little after one.
It was going to be a long night.
Luis was down the hall in one of the other guest rooms. For a moment, I’d thought he was going to sleep out in his SUV which was completely unacceptable.
I’d made us both spaghetti and we had eaten in uncomfortable silence. He didn’t pry or push me to talk, and I didn’t really know what to say to him. I’d quickly excused myself after dinner and retreated to my room.
Pushing back the covers, I climbed out of bed and wandered quietly into the kitchen. I needed a glass of water to temper the lingering fear of my nightmare.
The cabin was steeped in silence, only the silvery h
ue of moonlight guiding my way. I helped myself to a bottle of water from the refrigerator, my eyes catching on the note pinned there.
Matteo’s number.
His words replayed through my mind.
If you need anything, any time, night or day, you can call me.
It was a bad idea, the worst. But it wasn’t like I could text Arianne or wake Luis. I barely knew them.
You barely know him.
But I did know him. Or at least, I had known him for one amazing night. And there was something about the way he’d pushed to talk to me… something a small, broken part of me had latched onto.
It was dangerous territory though.
If I gave him the wrong idea…
Before I could stop myself, I tore the note off the refrigerator and hurried back to my bedroom. It practically burned a hole in my hand and the second I was in the safety of my bedroom, I dropped the note on the bed, staring at it.
“Oh for God’s sake, Cait, it’s just his number,” I murmured to myself.
It represented so much more than just his number though.
If I texted or called him, I would be crossing a line I might not be able to come back from.
But being here, alone with my thoughts wasn’t as easy as it sounded.
Burrowing back under the sheets, I clutched my cell phone in my hand. Matteo knew me. He knew the intimate parts of my body, my freckles and blemishes; he’d mapped the curves of my skin with his hands and lips.
But he didn’t know me.
Not really.
I’d given him a piece of me that night, but she was barely a figment of my imagination—the girl I wanted to be if things were different. The girl I could have become if I’d had a normal childhood with normal, loving, supportive parents.
But I didn’t have any of those things.
I had a past full of pain and disappointment and heartache. A past that had shaped me into nothing more than a survivor, clinging onto hope, knowing that she was probably never going to escape the ghosts that haunted her.
Punching in Matteo’s number, I hit call… and then realized what a foolish mistake I’d made.
He didn’t really want me to call him at any hour. He was probably just being polite, offering me an olive branch seeing as we had some shared history.
