by L A Cotton
God, he looked good. Inches upon inches of golden skin stretched over muscle. He could have been something straight out of a sexy magazine shoot.
“Everything okay?”
“Yeah.” I smiled a little too enthusiastically. “Why wouldn’t it be?” I hesitated, not sure how to do this. It was the morning after. Didn’t guys usually make a run for it to avoid this awkward moment?
“Come here.” He motioned for me to go to him.
“I should probably—”
“Tink.” He dropped his legs over the edge of the bed and sat upright, reaching for me. “Come. Here.”
Heat flashed inside me, my stomach clenching. Why did it sound hot when he ordered me around?
I went willingly, like a moth to a flame.
Matteo curved his arm around my waist and pulled me between his legs, staring up at me. “Why do I feel like you’re already shutting me out?”
“I… I’m not,” I whispered. “It’s just… I’m not used to this.”
“This?” He frowned, and I nodded.
“The morning after.” Heat flooded my cheeks. “In my experience, guys don’t usually stick around.”
“Maybe you’ve been picking the wrong guys.” He smiled, and it was so playful, so cute, something inside me softened.
Where were you five years ago? I gazed down at him, running my hand through his messy bed hair. He made it look so damn good.
“How are you feeling really?”
“I’ll be okay.” The lie soured on my tongue. “I just can’t believe he’s gone.” Tears pricked the corners of my eyes, but I blinked them away. If I let myself fall down that dark hole, I wasn’t sure I’d ever find a way out.
I didn’t kill Shaun—Zander did.
No matter how guilty I felt, I had to remember that.
“What will happen? With Zander?” I asked.
The muscle in Matteo’s jaw popped as he released a strained breath. “Honestly, I don’t know yet. My family is dealing with a lot right now.”
“Because Nicco’s father is sick?”
He nodded, pain lingering in his eyes.
“I’m sorry.” Without realizing, I scraped my fingers over his skull and a low growl rumbled in his chest. “God, I’m so sorry,” I went to pull away, but Matteo grabbed my wrist.
“Don’t,” he said in a husky voice.
The air crackled around us, thick with anticipation. He wanted to kiss me again. I could see it right there, glittering in his eyes.
“Matteo,” I breathed, my heart beating erratically in my chest.
What was happening?
I’d never felt so out of control before.
He pulled me onto his thigh and my arms went around his shoulder to steady myself.
“Hi,” he said.
“Hi.” A faint smile traced my lips.
“I’m going to kiss you now.”
I inhaled a sharp breath, nodding gently. I was under his spell, unable to break through from the all-consuming thoughts of him. Us. Together.
Matteo slid his hand along my clavicle and down to my chest, right where my heart lay. “I can feel your heart racing… so fast.” He marveled, closing the distance between us.
The first touch of his lips was like electricity zapping through me. Kissing last night, in the dark, was one thing. But this… this was something else.
His tongue slipped past my lips, gently lapping at my own. Desire swirled inside me, burning me up.
“Matteo,” I moaned into his mouth. “I—”
The shrill sound from his cell phone was like a bucket of ice water dousing the flames circling us. Matteo cursed under his breath, and I slipped off his lap and left the room.
I needed some space to think, and I couldn’t do that with Matteo breathing down my neck.
But when I went out into the living room, I startled. “Luis,” I gasped. “What are you—”
“Coffee?” he asked me with a smile.
“Sure, thanks.” I propped myself up on one of the stools. “When did you get back?”
“About an hour ago.”
Which means he knew Matteo spent the night with me.
“It isn’t what you think,” I rushed out, the strange urge to defend my behavior coursing through me.
“Caitlin.” He set his mug down and gave me a knowing smile. “I’m not here to judge. I’m here to keep you safe.”
“Morning.” Matteo appeared, shirtless and completely unaffected by Luis's presence. “Something smells good.”
“Grabbed a few freshly baked pastries from the nearest gas station. Luis motioned to the bag on the counter. “Help yourself. Coffee’s in the pot.”
“My kind of guy.” Matteo squeezed Luis's shoulder.
“You good?” He came over to me and curved his hand around the back of my neck, kissing my temple as I stood there, rooted to the spot. My eyes flicked to Luis, and he gave me a discreet smile.
What the hell was that supposed to mean?
“I… yeah,” I murmured, certain he would release me. But he didn’t, one-handedly making himself a mug of coffee while keeping his hand on my neck. It shouldn’t have thrilled me as much as it did. He was acting like I belonged to him… like we were together.
A fact we both knew could never come true. But it didn’t stop him from touching me intimately and it didn’t make me push him away.
“You want one?” Matteo asked me, nodding toward the coffee machine.
“Sure.”
He finally released me, and I sucked in a shaky breath, stepping back to put some more distance between us.
“How’s Nicco and Ari?” He asked Luis as he set about making my coffee.
“They’re okay. There’s been no change with Antonio though.”
Matteo went rigid, releasing a steady breath. “He’ll pull through. He has to.”
Without thinking, I reached for his hand, squeezing gently. The pain in his voice, it glittering in his eyes, was too stark to ignore.
His gaze collided with mine, and my heart hammered in my chest at the intensity in his expression. “Thank you,” he mouthed, his eyes shuttering.
When they opened again, his whole expression softened as if just seeing me standing there, by his side, instantly made everything better.
It was a heady feeling; one I wasn’t used to.
One I wasn’t sure I could ever give up.
“Have you ever been?” Matteo asked me as we worked some more on the puzzle. I thought he would leave once we had breakfast, but he didn’t.
And it mattered far more than it should.
This—us—it couldn’t go anywhere. It couldn’t ever be more than… this.
He had a life. A family and future. I didn’t care about who he was, about what his family did. It wasn’t like I’d grown up in a good, law-abiding family either.
No, I didn’t care about any of that. And deep down, I wanted nothing more than for him to make good on his word and take care of Zander. At least then I’d be free of his obsession. But I’d never truly be free.
Not in the way Matteo needed me to be.
“Cait?” He brushed my arm, smiling at me. “Is everything okay?”
“Everything’s fine.” I smiled back, hoping he didn’t notice the pain in my eyes.
“So… have you?”
“Have I what?”
“Ever been to New York?”
“Oh, I… I went a few times as a kid. I don’t really remember it.” The lie soured on my tongue. The truth was, I remembered every trip. Every single one. I remembered the arguments, my mom and her boyfriend fighting, the sound of his hand cracking against her face. The howl of her sobs echoing through the car.
I remembered it all.
Dropping my gaze to the puzzle, I inhaled a sharp breath.
You escaped.
You got out of there and you never have to look back.
“You were born in New York?”
I frowned. “How do you know…? Oh, your friends.”
“They meant no harm.”
“You’re all very close.”
“We are.” A look of fondness washed over him. “They’re my family. You don’t have—”
“Matteo,” I let out a heavy sigh. “I can’t do this.”
“Do what? What are we doing, Cait?” His eyes searched mine for answers.
Answers I didn’t have.
“I’m so grateful to you and your friends, I am. But this… us…” I took a deep breath, my heart ready to burst, blood roaring in my ears. “Surely you know we can’t—”
“Can’t what?” His hand curved around my neck, holding me tenderly. Matteo dropped his head to mine, breathing me in. “It’s a sign, Cait. Tell me you know it’s a sign.”
“I…”
Oh God. Emotion balled in my throat, thick and suffocating. He wasn’t going to let this go—he wasn’t going to let me go. And I didn’t want him to. I wanted Matteo to fight for me. I wanted him to prove that there was good in the world. That I deserved more than the shitty hand I’d been dealt.
But that was fantasy.
And my demons were too big to outrun.
His lips brushed mine. Once. Twice. Until his tongue licked the seam of my lips, silently seeking permission. A soft sigh spilled out of me, and he took it as a yes, sliding his tongue deep into my mouth and tangling it with my own.
God, when he kissed me like this… I felt like the most beautiful girl in the world.
I felt safe and cherished… and loved.
“Matteo—”
“Call me Matt,” he breathed against my mouth. “That’s what my friends call me.”
My lips curved involuntarily. “I’m your friend?”
His fingers threaded into my thick curls, pulling me back slightly so he could look me right in the eye. “No, Cait, you’re not my friend.” His eyes darkened, and I swallowed, my throat suddenly dry.
“You are so much more than that to me.”
Oh my.
Matteo took my face in his hands and captured my mouth in a slow kiss, showing me exactly what I was to him.
A kiss I felt all the way down to my soul.
Chapter 16
Matteo
“You’re different.” Bella narrowed her eyes at me as we ate Mom’s bruschette.
“Just happy to see you.” I grinned, and she rolled her eyes.
“No, I think it’s the girl. The one you left to go and see the other night.”
Rolling my lips together, I swallowed the words on the tip of my tongue.
Truth was, it was Caitlin.
I’d spent the morning at the cabin with her, doing that ridiculously impossible puzzle, laughing and talking. We’d avoided the hard topics. Or at least, she had.
Caitlin was a locked box, and no matter how much I tried to break the chains around her heart, she wouldn’t let me in.
But I was so gone for her, I’d take whatever scraps I could get.
“Bella,” I warned. “Eat your food.”
“Don’t change the subject, Matt. I know you like her. It’s written all over your face. Who is she? Is she pretty? I bet she’s real pretty if you—”
“Take a breath, pulce,” I teased.
“Can I meet her? I totally have to meet her. Please.”
My heart twisted. “No, you can’t meet her. Not yet.”
Not until it’s safe.
I pushed the words out of my head. Caitlin was safe. As long as she stayed at the cabin, no one knew where she was. Even if DiMarco learned that she’d left the hospital with me and Enzo, he still didn’t know where she was.
He’d have to come through us to find her, and I had no intentions of ever telling him. I’d rather die than give her up.
Fuck. What was I saying?
I had responsibilities. A family to think about. Arabella.
Anger curled in my stomach.
Nothing made sense anymore, not since Caitlin walked back into my life… and yet, being with her felt right. Like I was exactly where I was supposed to be.
It was a complete mind fuck.
“Seriously, Matt, you suck sometimes. This is the first girl you’ve liked in… well, forever.” Arabella pouted, flashing her best puppy dog eyes at me. “I want to meet her. She must be special if she’s caught your eye.”
Caitlin was special all right.
My heart beat that much faster whenever I laid eyes on her. All those wild red curls, her alabaster skin, and glittering green eyes. She was stunning and so different compared to the kinds of girls I was used to.
Part of me wondered if I’d pushed her too far last night. Especially after what DiMarco had done to her. But Caitlin had wanted it. I’d felt the need pouring off her. And the fact she’d trusted me enough to touch her and make her come apart meant everything to me.
“Matt!” Arabella punched my arm and my eyes snapped up at her.
“What?”
“You didn’t hear a word I just said, did you?”
“I…”
“Unbelievable.” She rolled her eyes. “Sometimes I don’t know why I even bother.”
“Relax, drama queen.” I leaned over and ruffled her hair, the way I used to when we were kids. “It’s… complicated.”
“Does she have a boyfriend? A psycho ex? Is it Nicco and Ari all over again? Is she the daughter of a rival—”
“Okay, Bella, that’s enough with the crazy talk,” I said. “Jeez, you need to get out more.”
She scoffed. “Like that’s an option.”
Guilt flooded me.
“I know things are tough sometimes… but is it really so bad to have a family that cares so much?”
“Matteo.” She rolled her eyes. “I’m sixteen and I’ve never even been kissed.”
“What the fuck?” I balked. “Why do you want to be kissed? You have plenty of time—”
“And thank you for proving my point.” She threw up her hands. “You think anyone is going to come near me when you act like this?”
“Bella…”
“It’s even worse for Alessia. Guys don’t look twice at her at school. It’s like she has a neon sign above her head saying off-limits. At least guys actually talk to me occasionally.”
“What guys?” I snapped.
She shrugged. “Just guys.”
“The same guys you want to kiss?”
Jesus, I wasn’t ready for this. Arabella was my sister—my baby sister. I still vividly remembered crawling around the yard with her on my back while she pretended to whip me like a horse. She wasn’t old enough to date and kiss and… nope, I wasn’t going there.
Not until she was at least twenty-one.
“Stop changing the subject. This is about you, not me.”
“Caitlin is—”
“Her name’s Caitlin?”
Fuck.
Why had I said that?
It just spilled out though because she was always on my fucking mind. Imprinted there with no signs of leaving anytime soon.
Excitement twinkled in my sister’s eyes. “Her name is Caitlin? That’s pretty. Do you have a photo of her on your phone? Can I see it?”
“No, I don’t have a photo of her.” But I wished I did.
I laid awake last night for hours, watching her sleep. I couldn’t shake the feeling that something bigger was at work here, reuniting us like this. But it was really bad fucking timing.
Uncle Toni was still in a coma. Nicco was barely holding on by a thread. And Lombardi’s men were sniffing around DiMarco’s.
There wasn’t time for me to figure out what Cait and I were to each other. My number one priority had to be keeping her safe. She had already been at the cabin for five days. Eventually, she would want more freedom. Maybe she would even want to leave and go somewhere else, somewhere closer to where she was before.
“So… when can I meet her?” Arabella stared at me with eager eyes, and I chuckled. “What?” she whined.
“Never change, Bella.”
&nb
sp; My cell phone started ringing and I picked it off the table, checking the caller ID. “I need to take this,” I said, trepidation coursing through me. I got up and ruffled her hair again, smiling down at her. “Never change for anything.”
“Matteo, Lorenzo.” Our Uncle Alonso greeted us the second we stepped into Uncle Toni’s study. Genevieve and Alessia were still at the hospital which was the only reason he’d called us to the house instead of meeting somewhere neutral.
“Uncle Al, how’s it going?”
“Can’t complain.”
“Come, sit.” He motioned to the table. Nicco; my father; and Stefan, Uncle T and Al’s consigliere, were already seated, their expressions grim. Whatever had happened wasn’t good.
“We didn’t know you were driving down from Boston,” Enzo said.
“Didn’t know it myself until Michele called me.” The two of them shared a knowing look.
“What’s going on?” I said, blood roaring in my ears.
“We need to make some hard decisions, son.”
“But Uncle Toni isn’t—”
“He’s not going to get better enough to return.”
“W-what?” I blurted out, feeling like the rug had been pulled from under my feet. “Nic?”
“The doctor said that even if he wakes up, the road to recovery will be extensive.” He dragged a hand down his face, his eyes vacant and expression haunted. “Given the new intel on DiMarco and Lombardi, Uncle Michele, Stefan, and Uncle Al decided we need to make the change now.”
“Fuck,” Enzo breathed.
“Effective immediately, Niccolò is now acting boss,” Uncle Al said.
Nicco didn’t look happy about it. In fact, he looked downright miserable. But I didn’t blame him. It was a huge burden to carry.
“Stefan is going to stick around, try to help you figure out this Lombardi thing. It could be something, it could be nothing.”
“And DiMarco?” I asked, immediately regretting it.
My father’s heavy gaze found me across the table. He leaned back slightly, steepling his fingers, and let out a long, steady breath.
“Tell them.”
Shit.
I shifted uncomfortably in my chair. I should have kept my mouth shut. But it was too late now—everyone was watching me and if I didn’t tell them, he would.
