by L A Cotton
“It’s nice to meet you. I’m sorry about your father.”
“Thank you. He’s strong, a fighter… I still have hope.”
“Why don’t we all sit,” Arianne suggested. “Nicco needs to talk to Matt, and I don’t know about anyone else, but I’m parched.”
“I think there’s a bottle of wine chilling,” Luis called from the kitchen.
“Perfect. Bring four glasses.”
“Four?” Alessia’s eyes grew to the size of saucers.
“Just don’t tell your brother.” Arianne winked, and the girls giggled.
“How are you, really?” she asked me quietly, while the girls got caught up.
“I’m fine. Is everything okay?” My eyes flicked over to where Nicco and Matteo were talking in hushed voices.
“We visited Antonio in the hospital, but it wasn’t good news. Alessia was upset so I suggested we take a trip here. There’s something about being out here that soothes the soul. Besides, I wanted to see you.”
“Y-you did?”
“Don’t look so surprised, Cait. You’re one of us now.”
I didn’t know how to answer that, so I breathed a sigh of relief when Luis arrived with the glasses.
“I hope that’s sparkling water.” Matteo joined us, eyeing the glass in his sister’s hand.
“One glass, please.” She pouted.
“One. I don’t want a repeat of last time.”
“What happened last time?” I asked.
“I spent half the night holding her hair back while she worshipped the porcelain gods.”
“Matt!”
A smile tipped the corner of my mouth. Their relationship was so easy, so warm and full of love. I envied them. I envied everything about Matteo and his family.
“If it’s okay with you,” Arianne said, “we’re going to stay here for the night.”
“I… sure.” What could I say?
No, I didn’t want them to stay because I didn’t want to get dragged any deeper into their world? I couldn’t do that; it was their cabin. I was the guest.
“Yes!” Arabella punched the air. “We can have movie night and make the guys watch Magic Mike.”
“Porca miseria!” Matteo grumbled. “Should I be worried about your level of obsession with Channing Tatum?”
“What?” She shrugged. “He’s hot.”
Alessia blushed, gawking at her cousin. “He’s… okay.”
“Are you blind? He’s every girl’s wet dream.”
“Jesus.” Matteo hissed, throwing me a ‘help me’ look.
“Not your type, Alessia?” I smiled, smothering the laughter bubbling inside me.
“She’s too hung up on Trist—”
“Bella!” She snapped
“Trist who?”
“Tristan, Arianne’s cousin. He’s tall, dark, and super brooding.”
“Oh my God, stop. Nicco is right over there.”
“And he can hear you.” Nicco’s jaw flexed. Arianne’s eyes crinkled with amusement as she went over to him and whispered something. He kissed her softly before they both came and joined us.
“So, Cait.” Nicco folded one of his legs, resting his ankle on his knee. “How are you finding the cabin?”
“It’s very nice, thank you.”
He nodded once, not saying whatever was on his mind. Something had changed, but I couldn’t put my finger on it. And I didn’t miss the silent looks he and Matteo were exchanging.
Did it have something to do with what Matteo had asked me earlier?
Be mine.
Such a loaded question.
“Excuse me,” I said, standing. I needed a second, emotion crashing into me from all directions.
“Are you okay?” Arianne asked.
“Fine, I’m fine. Excuse me.” Hurrying away from them, I slipped down the hall and into my room.
Except, it wasn’t my room. Because I didn’t have a place to call my own anymore. Not that Zander’s apartment had ever felt like home.
I burst into the small bathroom and clutched the basin, staring at myself in the mirror. It had been almost ten days and I still didn’t have a plan.
Deep down, I knew the answer wasn’t staying here. Letting these people—letting Matteo—burrow further into my heart.
Heaving a deep breath, my eyes fluttered. I sensed him before I saw him. “What do you want, Matteo?”
“Are you okay?”
“Honestly?” I locked eyes with him in the mirror. “I don’t know what I am anymore.”
He inched closer, taking the air in the room with him. “About what I said earlier—”
“Don’t, please don’t. I can’t do this.” My voice cracked, my agony bleeding out in the space between us. “I can’t be who you want me to be. I’m broken, Matt. Don’t you see that? I’m broken, and no amount of kind words or gentle touches will fix that. I’m—”
He pulled me into his strong arms, holding me close. My fingers twisted into his sweater as I buried my face in his chest, breathing him in. I was weak, unable to stop myself from taking what he was offering.
“We can help you, Cait. I can help you. You just have to trust me. Let me in, Tink.” He held me at arm’s length, gazing down at me. “Let me be there for you.”
“I…” I can’t. The words were on the tip of my tongue, but they didn’t come. All I’d ever wanted was this. Someone to care. Someone to lean on. Matteo would never understand what he was offering me, but I knew.
“It’s okay, we don’t have to do this now.” He brushed the tears from my cheeks. “Do you want me to send them away?”
“What? No! I don’t… that’s not what this is. I just… I have no experience with all of… all of this.”
Matteo lowered his head, touching it to mine as his arms banded around my waist. “They’re good people, Cait.”
I didn’t doubt that.
I was a good person, but I still had secrets. Dark, dirty secrets that would send Matteo running for the hills.
What a mess.
I’d never expected to find my hero in all this… but more heartachingly, I’d never expected to become the villain.
When I didn’t reply, Matteo brushed his lips over the corner of my mouth. He wasn’t playing fair, bewitching me with his touch; his spicy, male scent; and low, raspy voice.
Matteo infiltrated every corner of my mind, hijacking my heart and taking my soul captive.
But it would be our downfall.
I would be his demise.
“Tomorrow,” I said, knowing I couldn’t put the inevitable off any longer. “We’ll talk about it tomorrow.”
“We don’t have to go back out there. We can stay right here and—”
“No,” I said with a small shake of my head. “We should go back out there.”
I could pretend for a little while longer.
Chapter 18
Matteo
I watched Caitlin sleep. She was curled up on the end of the couch, a blanket thrown over her as she snored softly.
Everyone except Nicco and I had already gone to bed.
“Is she okay?” he asked.
There hadn’t been time to talk earlier. When me and Caitlin had rejoined my family, the girls had picked out the movie and Luis already had snacks.
I only had eyes for Caitlin though.
She hadn’t answered me when I’d asked her to be mine. Part of me wondered if she knew my motives and that’s why she was hesitant. But the other part suspected it wasn’t about me at all. She wanted me; I had no doubts about that. Something was holding her back though.
And I was determined to find out what it was.
“I don’t know.” I shrugged.
“Do you think she’ll agree?”
“Would you?” I laughed dryly. “I didn’t want it to be like this. I imagined what it would be like to see her again… but not like this. Fuck.” I hissed, running a hand down my face.
“And if she wants to leave?” Nicco studied me, his intense
stare almost too much to bear.
I’d churned this over in my head non-stop since bringing Caitlin here. If she wanted to leave, it meant losing her all over again.
“Let’s hope she doesn’t,” I forced out the words past my lips. “I should get her to bed.”
“Do you want some help?”
“No, I’ve got it, thanks.”
Nicco stood and nodded. “She watches you too, you know. When you’re not looking, she can’t take her eyes off you.”
His words hit their target and my chest puffed. “Yeah?”
“Yeah.” He gave me a sad smile before taking off down the hall.
I stood, looming over Caitlin. She looked so peaceful it seemed a shame to move her.
“M-Matteo?” Her eyes flickered open. “What time is it?”
“Late. Everyone already went to bed.”
“They did?”
I nodded, offering her my hand. “Let’s get you into bed.”
Without argument, Caitlin took my hand and I led her down the hall to her room.
“Where will you sleep?” she asked around a yawn.
I pulled back the covers and flicked my head for her to get in the bed. Pulling off her hoodie, Caitlin slipped into the sheets and nestled down.
“I’ll see you tomorrow,” I said.
“Stay.”
The word echoed through my skull. My eyes found hers in the dark, and she smiled. “Matteo, will you please stay with me?”
Without a word, I yanked off my sweater and shucked out of my jeans, climbing in beside her. Caitlin burrowed into my side and laid her hand on my breastbone. “Thank you,” she whispered. “For everything.”
I pressed a kiss to her hair, hardly able to wipe the smile off my face. “You’re worth it, Tink. I hope you know that.”
A beat passed, and another, and Cait still didn’t answer.
“Cait?” I gently shook her. Nothing.
She was out for the count, curled into my side like she belonged there.
It was disarming, the deep sense of peace I felt having her close. We didn’t know each other, not really, not beyond the surface. Yet, I felt tethered to her in a way I couldn’t explain.
I wanted to hold her like this every night and wake every morning to her green eyes and blinding smile.
I wanted her—plain and simple.
But as I closed my eyes, and allowed myself to fall into oblivion, I couldn’t help but feel like I was one breath away from losing her.
My eyes flickered open, locking on her face. “Morning,” I whispered, fighting a smile.
“It’s still early, the sun isn’t even up yet,” she said. “What happened last night?”
“You don’t remember?”
“You carried me to bed?”
I nodded. “You were barely conscious.”
“Sorry, I didn’t—”
“Shh.” I pressed my thumb against her lips, unable to smother the groan that worked its way up my throat when the tip of her tongue darted out and tasted my skin.
“Cait?”
“I don’t want to talk, Matt,” she said. “I just want to feel… make me feel, please.” The sheer desperation in her voice reached inside my chest and grabbed my heart in an iron grip.
“You’re sure?”
She nodded, dragging my face down to meet hers. Our lips touched, tentative at first. But the second her tongue found mine, my control dissipated. I rolled onto my back, taking Cait with me so that she straddled my hips. Her hands went to my bare chest as she leaned down and brushed her lips over mine again. A featherlight touch, teasing me. Making my blood heat like lava in my veins.
“Sei bellissima.” I pushed her red curls off her shoulder and stroked her collarbone. Caitlin threw back her head, whimpering softly. When our eyes connected again, she said, “What did you just say?”
“I said, you are very beautiful.”
Slowly, she rocked her hips, dragging her center along my dick. Even with layers of material separating us, her heat felt incredible.
“What do you want, Tink?” I asked her, curling one hand around her hip to guide her over me harder.
“Y-you,” she breathed. “I want you.”
My hand grabbed the nape of her neck, pulling her down to me. “You want me, Tink. You want to feel me pushing inside your hot, slick pussy?”
“God, yes… Show me how good it can be…” Her fingers twisted into my chest, clutching and desperate.
Without warning, I held her to me and rolled us, pinning her beneath me. Grinding in slow torturous circles, I brought Caitlin to the edge.
“More?” I quirked a brow.
Mouth hanging open, breathing labored, she nodded.
I chuckled, working my hand inside her panties. “Fuck, you’re soaked.” Two fingers slid into her with ease.
“No,” she wiggled against me, pulling me closer to her body. “I want you inside me. I want to feel you. All of you.”
Jesus. She was going to be the death of me. Rocking back on my haunches, I climbed off the bed and pushed my briefs over my hips, kicking out of them. Grabbing my wallet, I retrieved a condom and threw it down on the bed before gently easing off her panties.
A shiver worked through her as I rolled on the condom and crawled up her bed.
“If we do this—”
“Don’t,” she rushed out, shaking her head. “I don’t want to talk about what happens after. I just want to live in the now, Matteo. Can you do that? Can you give me that?”
Jesus, with her staring up at me like that, I would have given her the whole goddamn world.
She had to know that I wouldn’t give her up so easily, that I couldn’t. Our lives were entwined now, shackled by forces outside of our control.
Caitlin raked her fingers through the hair at the back of my neck, and pulled me down, her lips ghosting mine. “I really need to feel you inside me, Matt.”
I filled her with one smooth stroke. Her breath caught as I stilled, just reveling in how tight she felt, how fucking perfect.
Mine.
The word echoed through my skull.
She felt like she was mine.
“I need you to move,” she breathed. “Fuck me, Matt. Please…”
I. Lost. Control.
Hitching Caitlin’s leg around my waist, I drove her into the mattress with hard, unrelenting thrusts. And she took it. She took everything I gave her, rolling her hips to meet mine, clenching my dick like a fist. It was enough to make me grit my teeth, she felt that damn good.
“Fuck… fuck,” I panted, straightening my arms to go harder, faster. It wasn’t how I wanted to do this; I’d wanted to take my time and go slow. But suddenly, it was like we were on borrowed time. And an urgency to claim her, to take her and make her mine slammed into me. If I marked her, imprinted myself on her, she had to say yes… didn’t she?
“Oh God, Matt, yes… yes,” she choked out, moaning my name into the dark as our bodies rocked in perfect synchrony.
“Shh,” I murmured against her lips, kissing her. “You need to be quiet.”
“It just feels so… good…”
“I know, baby, I know.” Pressing my head to hers, I hooked my forearm under one of her thighs and lifted her leg, allowing me to go deeper. Caitlin buried her face in the crook of my shoulder, clinging to my body as I took us higher and higher.
Nothing, nothing would ever feel as good as this. Her skin was soft and warm, and her pussy fit me like a glove. Her curves were a map I wanted to take my time exploring, until I’d learned every hidden treasure.
Whether she knew it or not, Caitlin was made for me. At least, that’s all I could think as I raced toward the edge.
“I need you to come for me, Tink,” I whispered against her ear, nipping her lobe. She shuddered, clenching around me hard enough that I groaned.
I slowed the pace, circling my hips a couple of times, grinding my pelvis against her clit. Caitlin held her breath, her body coiling tightly until she snapp
ed apart.
“Yes… Yes…”
I kissed her through it, swallowing her moans, the tiny whimpers spilling from her lips.
“Fuck, Cait… you feel so fucking good.” One more thrust and I jerked inside her, coming hard.
We stayed like that, wrapped up in one another, breathing each other’s air.
“You good?” I asked her.
A faint smile traced her mouth, but it didn’t reach her eyes.
I rolled away, quickly disposing of the condom and then climbed back into bed, pulling her into my arms. “That was incredible.”
“Matt…” She blushed.
“I know you feel it, Cait.”
“It doesn’t change anything.” Her brows furrowed. “I’m… and you’re…”
“What does that even mean? I can protect you. We can protect you. You don’t need to worry about DiMarco.”
“You promised we wouldn’t do this… not now… not after—” She rolled her lips together, refusing to say the words.
Dejection pulsed through me. How the hell could she deny the connection we shared? It was a living, breathing thing, lingering in the space between us. She felt it. I knew she did.
So why the fuck was she still fighting it?
I wanted her—I’d made it more than clear.
Besides DiMarco, what was she running from?
As I pulled her closer and tucked my chin on the top of her head, it was the only question on my mind.
The next time I woke, it was to an empty bed. I let out a frustrated breath and ran a hand over my face. Sunlight poured in through the curtains, a sure sign it was finally morning.
Voices caught my attention beyond the door, and I climbed out of bed and pulled on my jeans and sweater, making a quick stop in the bathroom before I went looking for Caitlin.
I didn’t expect to find her laughing and joking with Arabella as they made pancakes. Leaning against the wall, I watched them, my chest constricting.
“I know you’re watching,” Bella smirked over her shoulder.
“Busted.” I held up my hands, going over to the breakfast counter and sitting on one of the stools. “Something smells good.”
“Caitlin was making breakfast and I offered to help.” She beamed.
That was Bella, she liked to feel helpful.
