When they all had their glasses full and Toby was occupied with a sippy cup of milk, Jethro lifted his drink. “To the newlyweds. May your days be filled with happiness and light.”
“And may you both find comfort together.” Sadie tipped her glass at the couple.
“Thank you for everything, Sadie. I know this wasn’t exactly what you wanted, but you helped me anyway.” Joy sipped her champagne, determined to make the most of the occasion. A glass of wine was bound to settle her nerves.
“It’s my job to advise you, Joy. It’s what Bradley wanted, but I think you’ve made the right decision. You need to get on with your life and you have a ranch to run, a child to raise. Nate is the perfect man to help you out, even if I think the circumstances are a bit unusual.”
“You’d be surprised how often people marry for less. Look at Chance Watson and his brothers. All but one of them married someone they advertised for, and they’re all still together.” Joy grinned as Sadie’s mouth dropped open.
“No.”
“Yep. Ask them. They won’t deny it. Fact is, I saw the sheriff the other day, and he made a comment about my advertisement. Said he hoped I found someone as nice as he did.”
Nate whistled. “Well, I’ll be. Guess you got as lucky as he did then. And here I was thinking I was the only one in town who got married because of an ad like yours.” He grinned at her, his deep blue eyes twinkling under the restaurant lights. His carefree smile made her feel less frazzled, more confident in the decision she made.
“And Gina came with a baby, too. Little guy about the same age as Toby. When I heard that, I figured I didn’t have anything to lose by trying.” She sipped her champagne, desperate to gulp it down to steady her nerves. She might be sounding settled about the whole wedding issue, but inside she was a belly full of snakes. Wedding day meant a wedding night would follow.
The waitress appeared back at their table. “You folks ready to order?”
*
Nate carried a sleeping Toby inside, with Joy leading the way to his bedroom. The little boy felt right in his arms. Nate’d never had anything to do with children before, but this little guy was fast winning him over with his chattering and the way he followed him around the ranch. It was early days yet, but he hoped they could build a genuine bond between them. After the horrible time Nate and his brothers had given their grandpa, this was his chance to make amends by trying to make someone else’s childhood better.
He hadn’t had a chance to talk to Joy about being a better man yet; things had moved so fast once he agreed to marry her. But the way he behaved as a youngster and then a teen and a young man burned in his brain. What they put their grandpa through, the drinking, the fights, and refusal to work a decent day, embarrassed him to think about it. Jethro was the one who finally got through to Nate, made him see how lucky they all were that Grandpa was prepared to take them on when their own father ran off, leaving their mom with three unruly boys.
Not everyone would’ve had the perseverance that Grandpa had. And all Nate had done was give him hell every chance he got. I’m sorry, Grandpa. I promise I’ll make things better for this little guy now that I’ve been given the chance. It’s the least I can do for him and his momma.
“Thanks, Nate. I’ll take it from here.” She moved past him and leaned over Toby, stroking the hair from his face. “Poor little guy is plum tuckered out. It’s been a big day for him.”
“Kind of comes out of the blue for me too.” Nate touched her arm. “Look, I’m sorry I didn’t make it to the jeweler’s and buy you a proper ring. Not how I planned it when I agreed to do this.” Color flushed on her cheekbones, and he removed his hand, giving her space.
“You have nothing to be sorry for. It’s very sweet of you to give me your grandma’s ring. I’m sorry I didn’t get Bradley’s off. It didn’t even cross my mind, and I embarrassed you in front of family.”
Nate laughed then clamped his hand over his mouth as Toby stirred. “Sorry.”
“It’ll take a gun going off to wake this boy up once he’s asleep.” Joy dropped a kiss on Toby’s cheek.
“Just so you know, you didn’t embarrass me. I’ve done more than enough in my lifetime to embarrass myself. Not used to thinking about anyone else. That’s gonna change now that I’m a married man.” He moved over to the door and watched as she slipped off Toby’s shoes and jeans. Joy managed to get the boy’s sweater off without too much trouble before she tucked him under the blanket and smoothed it down.
“You’ve done nothing wrong, Nate. So far, you’ve done everything right. I couldn’t ask for more from you than you’ve already given.” She moved to the door and glanced back at Toby as she turned off the light.
Nate followed her to the kitchen.
“Please don’t freak out, but this place is a disaster. I’m always behind on the housework these days so you’ll have to excuse the mess,” she said.
He shrugged. “No worse than what I’m used to. Three men without a care in the world didn’t fare any better. It’s only lately that the house is clean, and that’s mainly because of Sadie. She’s a neat freak so Jethro has turned all housewife on us. Can’t even walk in the kitchen with my boots on anymore.” He grimaced. “Man should be able to wear his boots, don’t you think?”
Joy smiled. “So long as you don’t drag mud through the house, I don’t really care.” She stopped and stared at him. “Did you want coffee before, you know, we um… retire for the night?”
Here was his chance to be the nice guy, to put her at ease and prove he wasn’t the playboy everyone thought he was. Show her he did care about other people’s feelings rather than just his own. “Been thinking about that. I’ll take the couch for a bit. Least until we get to know each other better.”
Her shoulders sagged. No doubt in relief. He’d made the right decision, despite the fact his body wouldn’t have objected snuggling up to her. It’d been a while since he’d had any kind of close contact with a woman.
“Um, look, that wasn’t actually how either of us thought this would work out. You’ve kept your part of the bargain, Nate. I feel I should keep mine.” She faced him, her chin up and body straight. She’d look more relaxed heading for the gallows.
Nate shook his head. “I’m not that kind of guy. Maybe once, but not now. I’m not going to rush you to do anything you don’t want. Why don’t we get to know each other first, become friends and see where that takes us?”
“Are you sure?”
Not really, but it’s what’s best.
“Yeah. I’m sure.”
*
Joy handed Nate a pillow and blankets, the guilt still nipping at her heels. “Sleep tight.” She turned and walked out of the living room, paused at the door. “Thanks, Nate.”
“Night, Joy.”
She walked down the hallway to her bedroom, checking on Toby on the way. She closed the bedroom door behind her, leaned on it, and sighed. Was this really what she wanted? Sooner or later she was going to have to take him to her bed. It was only fair, and considering she’d been the one to make the rules, it seemed mean to let him sleep out on the couch.
But at least for now she had someone who wanted to stay and work with her. Everything else would fall into place. They could work on a friendship and see where it ended up. At least, that was the hope.
Joy undressed, pulled the sleep shirt over her head, and stumbled into the bathroom to brush her teeth. Bradley’s toothbrush still sat in the holder on the edge of the basin. She’d seen no reason to throw it out, desperate to cling to all the memories she could. Now Joy tossed it in the trash. Hanging onto every little thing wasn’t going to help her deal with her emotions. Better to get rid of the clutter and concentrate on the important things.
Keeping this ranch afloat for Toby was top of the list. Everything else she could cope with. She turned off the light and padded to the bedroom and pulled back the blankets, sliding in and snuggling down. Which side of the bed did Nate prefer? Did he read
before he went to sleep, or did he fall into bed and stare at the ceiling like Bradley used to do, pondering the best bloodlines for his next breeding stock?
She rolled over and punched the pillow into shape, annoyed with herself despite her nerves about her wedding night. Sleeping separate wasn’t necessary, and she’d been a wimp to give into him. Tomorrow she’d talk to Nate about it, make him see her side of the argument. Do the right thing by him because that was the deal and she didn’t go back on a promise.
*
Joy woke the next morning just as the sun crept under the edge of the curtain. She lay still, listening to the sounds of the ranch waking up. Not a sound in the house though. Was Nate already outside? She threw back the blankets and her feet hit the floor. Once she had her bathrobe on, Joy headed to the kitchen to put on the coffee.
She peeked into the living room. Nate was fast asleep, one leg hanging over the edge of the couch, the other bent at an angle, his body too long for the settee. His arms were slung over his head and his chin tucked into the crook of his elbow. Creases marred his forehead. There was no way Joy would believe he was comfortable.
She turned on the coffee and put out mugs. The least she could do was wake him up with a brew ready. She didn’t want him to have anything to regret on his first day as a married man. She poured the coffee and took it into the living room. He stirred and slowly opened his eyes.
Nate propped himself against the pillow and rubbed his face trying to wake up. She probably should’ve put on a pair of jeans before coming out, but it was her habit to make coffee before she did anything else. He stared at her blankly.
She pushed the coffee into his hand. “Here, drink this.”
“Thanks.” He wrapped his hands around the mug and sipped.
Joy moved away and sat on a chair, watching him wake up and trying not to focus on the first naked male chest she’d seen in more than a year.
“This isn’t fair on you, Nate. I offered you a proper marriage. Not something where I’m the only one winning.” Guilt chipped at her because last night had worked for her. The transition from widow to wife again would take some getting used to, but it was hard to ignore how considerate he was being. “This house belongs to you, too, now. You don’t deserve to be sleeping on the couch.”
He gave her a bleary look. “I meant what I said. Let’s get used to each other, and we can take it from there.” His gaze dropped to her legs and then darted back to her face. He was interested in her; there was no doubt in her mind.
“We can do that, but from now on, you’ll sleep with me. Not saying we have to do more than sleep, but I don’t feel right with you out here. It’s not part of the deal, and I told you I keep my promise.” No matter what it costs me.
He grunted and sipped his coffee.
“I’ll get dressed and make a start on breakfast, but I want to ask you something first. Do you mind if I concentrate on the house today, clean it before I help you outside? It’s a pit and I hate it like this.”
“Sure. I’ve got plenty to do to keep myself busy.” He drained his mug and put it on the floor before stretching his arms over his head. The way the patch of dark hair on his chest dove down his belly in a thin line and disappeared into his boxers fascinated her.
Get a grip, Joy. Anyone would think you’ve never seen a half-naked man before.
He caught her staring and a lazy smile curved his lips. “Any chance of another cup of coffee?”
“Sure.” She stood and reached for his mug then hurried out to the kitchen, her cheeks flaming. Silly fool. Drooling over him already and it’s only day one of being married! But it’d been ages since she’d even had a spark of interest in the opposite sex. The last few months of his life, Bradley was exhausted just being alive. Sex had been the last thing on either of their minds. The light throbbing in her core must mean she wasn’t missing Bradley as much as she used to, which made her feel guiltier than getting caught staring.
Joy poured the coffee and placed the mug on the table just as Nate walked in. He’d pulled on a pair of jeans, but his chest was still bare. “Don’t mean to make you feel uncomfortable. Not my intention.” He sat at the table and reached for his coffee. “What time does Toby wake up?”
She held her bathrobe around her body like a suit of armor. “Anytime now. I’ll, um, check on him when I get dressed.” She scuttled out of the kitchen and ran straight to her bedroom and shut herself in. What an idiot. Drooling over him like a sex-starved fool! Didn’t make any difference that it was true. She was sexually frustrated and would readily admit it, but only to herself. What the heck was Nate going to think?
She pulled the bathrobe off, had discarded the sleep shirt when she heard Toby call out. “Hang on, baby.” Joy pulled a clean set of underwear from her dresser and slid on some worn jeans and an old button-up shirt. She checked her face in the mirror before grabbing a hair tie from the bathroom and exited while pulling her hair up into a messy knot.
Nate walked out of Toby’s bedroom with her son on his hip. “Someone couldn’t wait to get up.”
Toby hung onto Nate, his little hand on the cowboy’s naked chest. Joy swallowed and smiled. “Morning, baby. Let’s get you some breakfast.” She held out her arms to Toby, but he tuned to rest his head on Nate’s shoulder. “So that’s the way it is, eh?”
“Sorry. I think he likes me for some reason.” Nate followed her into the kitchen. “Never had nothing to do with little ones before.”
“I’m glad. He doesn’t know what it’s like to have a father.” She pulled the high chair closer to the table and Nate sat Toby in it.
“Makes two of us then.” He tightened the safety strap and wiped his hand over the unruly curls. “Something else we have in common, little fella.”
Joy stared at him. “Something else?”
“Yeah. Stupid chickens.”
“Stupid chick’ns.” Toby slapped his hand on the high chair. “Hung’y, Momma.”
“Breakfast coming right up.” Joy kissed the top of his head and reached for a banana to keep Toby going while she made eggs for them all.
She could do this.
Chapter Seven
“Thought I’d fix the barn door today after I’ve fed the horses. Unless you have anything else you want me to do first, that is.”
Joy wiped the last of the eggs on her plate with a crust of toast and put it in her mouth, chewing it before she answered. “Nope. It needs fixing, and it’d be better to do it before it falls off completely. Just one of the many things I couldn’t tackle by myself. Yell if you need any help. I’ll stay and give the house a good going over, and then maybe tomorrow I can help you draw up a list. We can work out what needs doing the most and go from there. Until then, so long as the animals have water and food, we’re good.”
“Fine. Want me to take Toby with me?”
“Don’t you think it will be too much? I don’t want him to get in your way, Nate. You gotta find your way around the place and get things done.”
“He’ll be fine. If he gets to be too much of a handful, I’ll bring him back up. That way you can get a head start on the housework. Sound fair?” He loved having the little guy puttering around beside him. It’d only been a couple of days, but already Nate had a soft spot for Toby.
“If you don’t mind, then. Thanks. I work so much faster if I don’t have to worry he’s getting into something.” She smiled and reached to wipe a dribble from Toby’s chin. “He’s teething, too, so look out for him putting things in his mouth. He’ll eat anything, and that doesn’t always go down too well.”
“Will do. Anything else?”
“Don’t let him out of your sight. Toddlers have a way of getting into trouble without even trying.”
By the time Joy had cleaned the kitchen, tidied her toddler’s bedroom and the living room and chucked a load of washing in the machine, she was mentally prepared to start clearing away Bradley’s belongings and take away the personal effects from her previous marriage out of the ma
ster bedroom. She’d put everything in storage for Toby. She wanted him to know more about his father, but right now, she had to look after the man who’d taken her and Toby on, who promised to take care of them. It wasn’t fair to ask him to sleep in her room with the trappings of another man to watch over him. After her wedding day slipup, she wouldn’t make the same mistake again.
With a cardboard box in hand, Joy picked up her wedding photo beside the bed, wiped a finger over the fine coating of dust, and sighed. “Oh, Bradley. I’m so sorry you were taken from us so soon. Didn’t really get a chance to have a life together, get to know your son. He’s gorgeous, and you’d be proud of him. I know you would. But for now, I have to move on so I can do what we planned. Make this a ranch to be proud of for our son.”
She took a couple of shuddering breaths before placing the photo in the carton. Joy lifted his pillow, stared at the striped PJ top. Every night since he’d passed away, she’d reached for it, held it close as she slept. Swallowing, she lifted it to her cheeks for the last time, inhaled the barely there scent and then placed it in the box.
Joy systematically went through every drawer, every shelf in the bedroom and master bathroom, clearing out all of Bradley’s belongings. She held his hairbrush in her hand, torn between keeping it and throwing it out. He hadn’t used it for months before he died, but the pale strands still lay tangled in the bristles made her pause. The way your hair shone in the sunlight, Bradley. I was so jealous of the sun-bleached streaks, and, boy, didn’t I tell you often, too. Toby takes after you, thank goodness. He doesn’t have my mousey-brown coloring. Hiding the brush during his illness would’ve only added insult to injury when hair loss became a big deal, one more step toward the end. She put it in the box, squashing down the memory. Once she was done, a sense of doom lifted, leaving her calmer, more focused on what lay ahead. Now she would move on as best she could, rebuild her life.
Sure, there’d be moments of joy and sorrow, like Toby learning to ride the pony Bradley had bought for him before he was even conceived. His first day of school and all the milestones in between. Had she found someone else to share those with? She sent a silent prayer to Bradley to make sure he understood she was doing what had to be done, hoping to God that it wouldn’t all blow up in her face.
The Convenient Cowboy Page 4
