by Ashton Cade
“Told you,” I chuckle, shaking my head. “You’ve got food at home, why do you need to steal theirs?” I toss the last of the scraps to the cats and whistle for Winnie to follow. She hesitates, sizing up her chances.
“Winnie, come on.” I use my ‘stern voice’ and she comes right away.
I’ve almost forgotten that Jared’s up to something until I spot the farmhouse, smoke coming from the chimney, snow on the roof mostly melted from the warmth inside. Once I got into my chores, I forgot all about wanting to hurry back. He probably planned it that way and I fell right into his trap, darn it.
Winnie makes it back to the door long before I do, jumping and scratching, eager to get to her food and water and out of the cold. The door opens from the inside and Winnie disappears. I’m still twenty yards behind her, and after a minute, Jared sticks his head out the door frowning.
“What’s taking you so long?”
“She ran home,” I call back. “Now you want me there?”
“I always want you here,” he answers.
I kick snow off my boots as I head up the stairs to the porch, and Jared greets me at the door with a kiss.
“Happy Valentine’s Day,” he says, dragging me inside.
I blink.
“Is it? Shit, I didn’t—” He kisses me again.
“I know. You’ve been too busy taking care of me to keep up with a calendar. That’s why I wanted to do this for you.”
“Do what?” I ask, stripping off my coat, more confused now than before. This explains his weirdness this morning, but it really presents more questions than answers.
“I obviously couldn’t do it on my own, but Ryder helped with picking stuff up from town. I’ve got stuff for s’mores, that new Jason Statham movie you’ve been wanting to see—”
“The one with the murder spree?”
“Isn’t that all of them?” he teases.
I shrug. “Maybe. I’m not really in it for the murder as much as the guy with the hot accent…”
“What every guy wants to hear on Valentine’s Day,” he teases some more, covering his chest with both hands, eyes wide. Feigning hurt..
“He’s got nothing on you,” I assure him, leaning in for a kiss.
“I also got stuff to make dinner, but if that blows up in my face, I got frozen pizza for a back-up.”
“You’ve really thought of everything, huh?” I ask, slipping my fingers through his. It’s been a rough few months, and if I’m honest, I haven’t always felt appreciated, but this means a lot.
He shrugs. “I tried. You deserve it.”
“So are there rules for these plans of yours?”
His brows furrow, his head tilting to the side. He’s so damn cute I have to kiss him again.
“I mean… Do we have to do dinner before s’mores? Or can I have a post-breakfast dessert?”
He chuckles, his hand sliding over my hip. “You can do whatever you want. No rules.”
It’s a really good day. Definitely the best Valentine’s Day I’ve ever had, since that’s not normally a thing I participate in, but also in the all-time top days. We’re lazy, we have s’mores, we watch action movies and eat frozen pizza because I decide I’d rather cuddle with him while the oven preheats than have him slaving over the stove for three hours.
We’ve made a comfy nest of pillows and blankets on the floor so we can stretch our legs out by the fire and still hold each other. I don’t want this day to end, but it’s already dark outside.
“Thank you for all of this,” I say, my head against his chest watching the fire crackle and pop.
“I’m glad you liked it. You work so hard, you deserve some relaxation.”
I laugh softly. “That’s not really what life on the farm is all about, though.”
He strokes my side, his finger slipping under my shirt, producing goosebumps all over, making me shiver.
“This isn’t really a farm, though,” he says gently, like he’s worried I might not realize that.
I chuckle and nod. “I know, but I’d like it to be. My family used to have a farm and I always figured I’d inherit it from Grandpa one day, but then none of his kids wanted it, it got split up, sold off… Now that Caleb’s running that farmer’s market at the Wilds, I was thinking it might be time to give it a real go. Local, organic, you know, the whole deal.” It’s the first time I’ve said it out loud because it’s seemed so unattainable until now. Before we were together, I never would have thought I could pull it off, and with all Jared’s health problems, I haven’t even been thinking about much more than making sure he gets better.
But his recovery is going well. He seems to be taking it more seriously this time, pacing himself, listening to the signals from his body. He’s planning on going back to work in the spring, and I normally would be too.
“What about smokejumping?” he asks, fingers still caressing my side absently. It’s a soothing rhythm, back and forth, my eyes feel heavy, but I’m not tired. Just so relaxed.
“I don’t know,” I admit. “It’s not something I want to do forever. It’s not something I can do forever, and it’s always hard to leave, to find someone to look after the zoo. I’m always worried about home when I’m away… Maybe it’s time to stop going away.”
“Hmm,” he says, leaning in to press a soft kiss against the side of my neck. “Maybe it is.”
I look up at him to be sure. “You wouldn’t find me less attractive without the adrenaline-junkie job?”
He snorts, his hand moving to my back, fingers tracing the line of my spine. “You’re joking right? Knowing you’re safe and not jumping out of a plane into fire? Sign me up.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah,” he says, kissing me on the lips. “Call me crazy, but I like having you around. Kinda want it to stay this way for a while.”
I kiss him back, grinning. “A while, huh?”
“Mhm,” he agrees, moving over me, kissing me so hard he presses me down into the pillows. His body traps mine, and I can’t help the way I respond. I don’t want to help it. He lights me up like the Fourth of July with the simplest touch and I love it. I wouldn’t change it for the world.
His hand slides between us, then through the open front of my flannel pants, making me gasp, my head dropping back with a dull thunk.
“God,” I whisper, just at the feeling of him touching me. It’s been so long. I can’t believe how much I’ve missed this. How much I’ve needed it. I’ve been worried about his fragility, about him pushing himself, but he hasn’t. I trust him to know how far he can take it now.
He kisses me on the lips, then down my jaw, my neck, making me squirm as his hand runs up the length of my cock. Then suddenly, he moves down my body, tugging my flannels over my hips. I hardly have time to process what he’s doing before his mouth is on me, taking all of me deep.
“Holy… Jared… fuck,” I hiss, fingers threaded in his hair. It’s like my very first blowjob all over again—mind-blowing, overwhelming, and the best thing ever. I didn’t realize how inadequate jerking off was until now; I’ve been giving myself cauliflower and saying it’s a good enough substitute for potatoes.
Everyone knows potatoes are where it’s at, carbs or no.
He knows just what to do with his tongue to make my ass lift off the ground, to make me whimper and squirm, teetering on the edge, desperate for the finale.
“Shit… Jared,” I gasp, thrusting into the back of his throat, every muscle in my body going rigid before the wave crashes over me and there’s nothing but pure bliss.
Chapter 21
Jared
Spring is rapidly approaching, but the ground is still frozen and Hunter’s getting antsy to start his work tilling and prepping the land.
He’s really serious about this farming thing, and I’m excited for him. I want to help, but of course he’s keeping me at arm’s length with anything even remotely strenuous.
I get it. I do. I haven’t made a good case for myself, I haven’t had a
good track record of doing things right or taking care of myself, but he’s been doing too much.
The closer we get to the thaw, the more there is to do, and he can’t keep pretending that he can manage it all. He’s not Superman after all.
Neither of us are, but together, we come pretty damn close. That’s what I want him to see. That we’re stronger when we work together. I just have to convince him to let me work.
And I think I’ve got just the plan.
Tanner sounds confused when he answers the phone.
“Hello?”
“Hey, it’s me,” I answer. I figure he must have my number; the confusion’s because he’s not used to me calling.
“What’s up? Everything okay?”
“Yeah, everything’s great,” I tell him. We haven’t had any chances to get together over the winter, but I know Hunter’s at least kept the other guys up to date with my recovery process and relapse and second recovery. I don’t know what he’s told them about us, if anything. I don’t think our relationship is any kind of secret, but we haven’t really had any sort of opportunity to take it public unless you count the hospital, which I don’t.
“I don’t know how much you know about what I’ve been going through the past couple months—”
“I heard a little from Hunter, sounds like you’ve been through hell and back.”
“Yeah, and I couldn’t have done any of it without him. He’s been so awesome, and I want to do something to repay him… I just need your help.”
“Sure, name it, man. You know Hunter and I go way back.”
I brace myself for a visit from the green-eyed monster; I know Hunter and Tanner had a thing a few years ago. I also know it didn’t really mean a whole lot to either one of them and they went back to being friends like nothing happened at all. The green-eyed monster never shows.
Guess I know Hunter’s mine—or at least that Tanner’s not coming after him since he’s plenty happy with his own relationship.
“Well, it’s not just you… I probably need your husband and brother-in-law too.”
“Uh… Okaaay,” Tanner says, sounding more concerned. “Maybe I should ask what you need us all for before I commit to this, on second thought.”
I snort. “Nothing crazy, just a barn-raising.”
“What’d you tell him again?” I ask Tanner as we make our way up to the barn. There’s six of us total—me, Tanner, Caleb, Eli, Ryder, and Cody—hopefully more than enough muscle to get this done, even with me working at limited capacity.
Tanner shrugs. “It was Dane, not me, and I don’t know what he cooked up. I just told him he needed to buy us all the daylight he could.”
“So there’s no telling when he could actually be back,” Ryder says, giving me side-eye.
“Don’t underestimate Dane,” Tanner says. “He’s clever.”
“If you say so,” Ryder mutters with a shrug.
“Should you be out here doin’ this boss?” Cody asks under his breath, the two of us a couple paces behind the group.
“I’ll be careful,” I promise. “I’m supervising more than anything. That’s what the chief does, right?”
He smirks, then nods. “Right. Good to see you feeling more like yourself,” he says, clapping me on the shoulder. “You know everyone at the station’s been pulling for you.”
“Yeah, I got the balloons,” I laugh. That’s what I remember about waking up in the hospital room more than anything else. There were so many fucking balloons.
While the guys more capable than me are hashing out a strategy for stabilizing and fixing up the old barn, I’m a little distracted by Winnie chasing the cats, a bunny disappearing under the snow, the snowy landscape stretching back to the house that fills me with a sense of peace and contentment I’ve never felt before. I never expected to feel at home at a place where you can always hear chickens clucking away. Never thought I’d feel at peace five miles from my nearest neighbor.
But here we are.
Here I am, and here I need to be. I resisted in the beginning, part of me thought I’d eventually find another apartment somewhere in town, but there’s no denying it at this point.
I belong here.
I take a deep breath of the cold air, heavy with the scent of evergreens, and I feel good. Those stupid exercises and techniques the PT gave me actually work wonders, and I’ve been meticulous about not running out of any of my prescriptions. We’ve tweaked my meds for better control of my asthma, and my last tests all came back great. I know I’m still not going to be able to push myself or do what I could in my twenties, but I’m not an invalid anymore either.
No one’s letting me up on ladders or asking me to help with lifting things, but I find ways to be helpful all the same. Working power tools isn’t physically demanding. The hardest part is being on my feet for so long, but I’m sure to take breaks to sit and catch my breath every ten or twenty minutes.
A few hours in, my phone rings and all the work goes dead silent as I answer.
“Hey—”
“I’m sorry I’m going to be stuck here a couple more hours,” he gushes. My heart twists, guilt eating at me. He feels bad for not being here, but it’s all a set-up. It’ll be worth it in the end though. I hope.
“That’s okay, what’s going on?”
He huffs, and I hear papers shuffling. “There’s apparently this huge audit Dane put off until the last minute and now his ass is on the line, so I’m helping him sift through all this crap.”
“Oh man, that blows,” I say, trying not to snort. I wonder if the audit’s even real or if Dane made the whole thing up.
“Hopefully I’ll be home for dinner, but at this rate, I don’t know. How are things there? Everyone getting along?”
“Yeah, we’re doing great, just… You know… chillin’.”
“Chillin’?” he asks, and I wince.
“Uh huh… Because it’s so cold,” I say, trying to play off my terrible lie as a terrible joke.
“Ugh. I think I’d rather do this audit than listen to more of that cheese,” he teases me. Success.
“Well then, get back to work. The sooner you’re done with that, the sooner you’re back here with me.”
“When you put it that way… I’ll be as fast as I can. You be good.”
I snort, shaking my head. “Okay, Mom.”
“Love you,” he says, cutting through my laughter, turning the moment serious.
“Love you too,” I answer before hanging up and remembering I’m in a barn full of our closest friends and co-workers.
Well, guess that cat’s out of the bag. I didn’t want to keep my relationship with him secret anyway, and now I’m sure this whole project makes a lot more sense to everyone involved.
“Dane’s got it covered,” I announce. “We should have a few more hours.”
And just like that, work resumes. No ribbing, no one asking for details. Just acceptance. What more could I ask for?
I have the best friends in the world. The best boyfriend. I’ve got a town that accepts and supports me, a job where I’m valued and they don’t try to replace me at the first sign of weakness.
I really do have it pretty good here.
“What’s Hunter need a barn for anyway?” Caleb asks.
“Thank you!” exclaims Ryder. “That’s what I’ve been saying all along. Just tear the whole thing down, who needs it?”
“Well, this is a farm,” I remind them, channeling Hunter pretty well.
“Having chickens doesn’t make a farm,” Ryder scoffs, sounding a lot like the old me.
But I get it now. I understand why this is so important to Hunter and that makes it important to me too.
“It’s just chickens now, but it could be more. Just because it’s not a fully operational farm now doesn’t mean it can’t be.”
“Yeah, but Hunter’s a firefighter, not a farmer,” Tanner says.
“For now,” I say, shrugging.
“Is he thinking of quitting?”
Ryder asks, and I can’t tell if he’s alarmed or just intrigued.
I probably shouldn’t have said anything about that. It’s not my place to tell other people about Hunter’s plans before he’s even figured them out himself.
“I don’t think he has any real plans,” I say carefully. “But smokejumping doesn’t last forever… And I don’t think either of us wants it to.”
“Could you tell my husband that? Because he’s sure he’s going to be jumping until he’s ninety,” Caleb mutters from atop a ladder.
“You just wait,” Tanner calls back, chuckling.
“I don’t know what Hunter wants to do going forward, but I want him to feel like he has options. I don’t want him to think he’s stuck or trapped, so if a barn can help with that, why not?”
Tanner shrugs. “Good a reason as any, I guess. It’s not nearly as bad as it looked anyway.”
He’s right. After most of a day of the six of us working on it, the barn looks downright sturdy. It’s not winning any design awards, but the drafts are patched up, the lean is straightened, and all the rotted boards have been replaced. Once it’s warmer and the forecast is clear, we’ll come back to paint it. For now, a quick seal will have to do.
Once we’re finished up, I invite all the guys back to the house to warm up and have a beer. I’m just tossing my bottle cap when Winnie gives a little ruff toward the door a minute before Hunter comes in.
“What’s with all the… cars. Uh… Hi guys?” He’s stopped at the end of the foyer, looking into the kitchen confused.
“Did I miss a memo? Is this an intervention? I don’t care what Ryder says, four cats does not make me an animal hoarder, it’s a big hou—”
I kiss him just to shut him up. It works, and he looks around the room again, not saying anything now.
“There’s something I want to show you,” I say, taking his hand. He hasn’t had a chance to get out of his coat or anything yet, so now’s the best time.
