by Dani Larsen
George gave everyone the news immediately. Anna was surprised and embarrassed.
"We are going to have another child probably next June." He blurted out.
The family all hugged and congratulated them. Caroline took John as he was holding out his arms to her. They passed him around as they all wanted to hold him. John just giggled and played patty cake with the girls who had spent a lot of time teaching him that rhyme.
"That is wonderful news." Caroline said to Anna. "Are you feeling okay?"
"Not really, I've been feeling pretty sick for the last week. I guess that is why George wanted you to know, in case I suddenly had to excuse myself. I brought some hard biscuits with me, to try and calm my stomach if it starts up again."
"I have sympathy for you Anna. I was sick with all my children, for the first three months at least. It was no fun. If there is anything I can do to help, please let me know."
"What shall we do first, Pa?" George asked his father.
"I'm going to buy some produce on the way back. I heard there was music in the far corner all day. Thought we should listen for a bit, then go look at the animals. I imagine some of our neighbors will be here. It's a good time to find out what is going on in the county."
"Okay, Pa. We'll just mosey along with you, if that is okay. That way you all get to see my little John for a time. He is almost walking. Thought he was going to take off before we left the cabin, but he got a little scared at the last minute."
"Yes, he just couldn't take that first step, without holding on."
"He's a strong one, little John. He'll probably be walking all over by the end of the week. Just like you George."
"Did I walk that early, Ma?" George turned around to ask his mother, who was holding John and walking with Anna.
"Yes, you were probably right around that age. Maybe you were a little older than John is. Once you figured out how to get around on two feet, you were off and getting into everything."
"When did you start walking, Anna?"
"Mama said I was over a year old before I started walking. She said I was just happy to sit in an apple crate and look around."
"You must have been a good little girl."
"Yes, I guess I was." The dreams suddenly surfaced in her mind again, and she tried to shake them off. Thinking of herself as a child brought up those two days of fear.
There was a small band playing when they arrived. Benches had been placed toward the back around the area that was set aside for listening. The band was in a gazebo that had been built for the occasion. The girls spread out the blanket they were carrying and sat on the ground in front of a bench. Caroline and Anna sat with Frank, George and Sylvester on the bench. It was the last bench available, while there were many people lounging on blankets in front of the gazebo. All of the rest of the benches were filled with many of the Hempe friends and neighbors. They recognized the people sitting next to them, as they had a small ranch not too far from the Hempe property. The Meyers told them that this band had led the parade that started the festivities that morning, and there was also a hoe down band that was due to play when they finished. Frank walked around while the band played, talking to the many neighbors he saw, about how well their ranches were doing. Eventually, Frank motioned to George to join him, and the two men discussed agriculture and stock breeding, with men who ran the neighboring ranches.
Everyone was taking turns holding and entertaining John. He was sitting on the blanket with Mary and Agnes, when Anna started feeling sick again. She chewed on a biscuit slowly trying to appease her stomach, but she was feeling sicker by the minute. She was mad at herself for drinking the lemonade that George had brought her, but she had been so thirsty and it had tasted so good. It was hot and she was parched, so she had just drank it all down quickly.
Finally, she said, "Caroline, can you watch John for a few minutes? I am feeling really sick again."
"Of course, you take all the time you need, Anna."
Anna left her basket there and went looking for the row of outhouses that were back by the parking area. It took at least five minutes to reach them, even running. She had almost brought up her stomach contents twice before she got there, and then she had to wait as they were all full. Finally, a woman came out of the end one, and Anna rushed in, barely making it before she threw up the lemonade. The outhouse had been very busy, and the rank smells made her feel sick again, so she continued to empty her stomach until there was nothing left. She had been gone about forty-five minutes, by the time she felt good enough to go back to the music. When she sat down next to Caroline, she realized that only Agnes was still sitting on the blanket. Mary was gone and so was John.
"Where's the baby?" Anna started to panic.
"He's fine, Anna. He started fussing, so Mary and I stood up and took turns rocking him, but he wasn't having any of it. So Mary decided to take him for a walk, which really seemed to calm him down. He's such a sweet little guy. I'm sure they'll be back in a few minutes."
"Okay. I'm sure he'll be fine. I guess I worry too much."
"Sit back and enjoy the music, Anna."
It was beautiful music, and she tried to relax and enjoy it, but when they weren't back in fifteen minutes, she got this panicky feeling.
"I think I'll just go find them."
"Okay, honey, but I'm sure they're fine"
"Which way did they go?"
"They headed toward the barn. Mary wanted to show John the animals."
Anna's stomach felt sick again, but this was a different kind of sick. She didn't want John anywhere near Jude, and she knew he was in the barn, tending to the stock that Frank had brought with him. She started running and praying that her little boy was okay.
When she finally reached the barn and went inside, there were so many people that she couldn't see them anywhere. There were four rows of stalls and hay stacked up everywhere. She didn't know which way to go first. People were huddled around each of the stalls, so one could hardly tell what animal was in each stall. Are they looking at the animals? Or did they go to Frank's stall? She started on the first aisle, going down each one, looking for the back of the young woman and listening for sounds of her baby. On the second aisle, she thought she saw them down at the end stall, but when she got there she realized it wasn't Mary. Anna was on the verge of tears when she got to the last row. Then she saw them. Her sister-in-law was leaning over the railing of the last stall, but she wasn't holding John. As she rushed toward her, she saw Jude holding John up in the air and heard the baby giggle.
"What are you doing with my baby?" Anna almost screamed.
"He's just playing with him. Anna." Mary said.
"Give me my child." Anna demanded.
Jude just looked at her and smiled. Then he handed her the baby.
"I didn't mean no harm, Mrs. Anna. I was just making him laugh a little bit. He was being fussy, and Mary didn't seem to know how to calm him down. Sorry, if I offended you." He winked at her as he put John back in her arms. Anna was seething now, but Jude and the other ranch hands were looking at her like she was acting foolish. Mary started defending Jude.
"He wasn't doing anything wrong, Anna. We were just trying to calm the baby down. Jude was making him laugh. We didn't mean any harm."
Anna took a deep breath, trying to get control before she spoke. "It is okay, Mary. I just panicked when I couldn't find him. I'm sorry. Everything is fine. Thank you for taking care of him. I think he just needs to be fed. I'll see you back where the music is."
As she turned around she saw Jude standing there smirking at her, and she gave him a dirty look, turned and hurried out of the barn. When she got back to the music area, the band was finished, and the wash board band was setting up their gear and preparing to play. Anna sat down on the bench, took John's blanket out of her basket, threw it over her shoulder, and began to discreetly nurse him. Her heart was still beating fast, and she was embarrassed about getting so upset, but all she could think of was when she had been kid
napped from her parents when she was four. She hoped she hadn't offended her sister-in-law, but she was angry that she had let Jude hold him. No matter what anyone said, Jude just gave her an uneasy feeling every time she saw him.
"Was everything okay, Anna?" Her mother-in law asked.
"Yes. It was fine. I just knew John would be hungry and ready for his nap." She hoped the girl wouldn't say anything to their mother about how bad she had acted.
George, Sylvester, and their Father came over just then.
"We are going to watch the 4-H group show off their animals in the pen behind the barn. Do you ladies want to join us?" Frank asked the women.
"That sounds like fun. Do you want to go, Anna?" Caroline asked Anna.
"No, I think I will stay here and let John take a little nap. I don't want him to be cranky. If he wakes up I will join you. I know where it is."
Anna didn't want to see Jude right now, and she knew he would be over there with the other ranch hands. She just didn't feel like talking about what happened, and she hoped no one else would say anything.
"C'mon, Agnes, let's go watch the animals. You might want to get into the 4-H group in the future."
"Okay, Papa."
George came over and kissed Anna on the cheek. "Come on down and join us when he wakes up, Anna. I don't like leaving you alone."
"I'll be fine, George. I'll come over there if the presentation isn't over by then."
Anna was relieved when everyone left. She just wanted to sit there, try to relax, and to contemplate what had happened. She didn't understand why she had panicked. John fell sound asleep while she was nursing him, so she lay him down on the bench next to her and carefully buttoned up her dress, so no one could see, and covered him with the blanket.
The music was lively as the band with the improvised instruments played their hoe down tunes. Several young people were square dancing to the left side of the gazebo, but many of the people had gone to watch the animal show, so she and John were just two of the few people sitting on the benches at the back of the area surrounding the gazebo. Anna was dozing off herself, when she felt the bench move under her and opened her eyes to see Jude sitting next to her. She was surprised and suddenly felt that fear again.
"Hello, Mrs. Anna. I just wanted to apologize if I offended you earlier. I was just trying to make your little boy stop crying. I get the feeling that you don't like me, ma'am, and I don't understand why. I have never done or said anything to offend you, have I?"
He tried to look innocently at her, but she just felt squeamish when she was around him and tongue tied. She thought he had a real shifty eyed look about him, and for some reason, she just didn't trust him.
"I'm sorry, Jude, I guess I am just a real protective mother. There was an incident when I was a little girl that made me fearful of someone taking my child, so when I couldn't find him, I just got scared. I guess I didn't act very nice toward you. Just try to understand that it is just something that happened that made me this way. I'm sorry if I offended you."
"It's okay, ma'am, just wanted to make sure you weren't mad at me for something I did."
"No, Jude, it's fine. You go on now and enjoy your time at the fair. I'm just going to sit here and enjoy the music until he wakes up, then I'll probably mosey on over there."
"Thank you, ma'am, I'll see you later then. Have a nice time." He doffed his hat to her, but still had that smirk on his face. A shiver went down her back, as she watched him walk back to the barn.
John woke up about half an hour later. She changed his diaper, picked him up, and headed toward the barn. The show was almost over by the time she found George.
"You missed some mighty good looking animals, Anna. Agnes is thinking about joining the 4-H group this fall."
"How nice, Agnes. That should be fun. Any particular animal you want to take care of?"
"Yes, I'm thinking about a calf and maybe a goat. We have new kids and calves. I just have to pick out ones that I want for show."
"I think the only hard part would be getting attached to them, and having to part with them if someone offers to buy them at the show the next year."
"I know. I was thinking about that, but we always sell the animals anyway. I'll just try not to get too attached to them."
"I can help you pick out the best ones to show, Miss Agnes." Anna was jolted when Jude spoke from behind her. She didn't know he'd been standing there. Her heart started pounding again.
"Oh, thank you, Mr. Burden. That would be nice. I would appreciate your help."
"Well, it's all settled then Agnes. Let's go talk to that lady over there. I think she is in charge and can tell us what to do to get signed up." Frank took his youngest daughter by the hand, and led her over to the woman who was standing by the gate, waiting for the children to lead their prize goats back to the barn.
Anna turned around and walked over to George, feeling anxious.
"Are you about ready to go, Anna? We ought to be buying some of that produce before they are sold out."
"Yes, I'm ready, George."
On their way back to the buckboard, they bought a bag of potatoes, some cherries, cucumbers for pickling, and some peppers. George put it all in the back of the wagon, and then helped Anna get up in the seat. Frank came over to the wagon, after he got his family in their rig.
"I think we should bring some produce to the fair next year, George. Maybe bring more stock to sell and any other animals we decide to sell in the meantime. Several of our neighbors were telling me it was a profitable day for them."
"Sounds like a good idea, Pa. I'll be happy to do whatever I can to help you."
"Okay, Son, you take care of your little family now. Congratulations, again, on the new little one. Goodbye, Anna. Take care now."
Jude walked by, just as Frank spoke about the new baby, and smirked as he looked directly at her. Anna's face got red and anger welled up inside her again. She just did not like that ranch hand, no matter what he said.
Chapter Seven
"A Letter Arrives"
1910
George brought home a letter from her mama on Monday. He left his family's ranch a little early and went by the post office on his way home. It was too late to get the mail when they got to the fair on Saturday because the post office closed at noon. Anna had dinner ready when he arrived, so she waited until the dishes were cleaned up before she read the letter. She put John to sleep, then she sat down on the bed and opened the seal. George didn't know what she had written to her mother as the dreams were so raw and upsetting that she just wasn't able to talk about them to anyone but her mama.
September 20, 1910
The Troy Ranch
Dearest Anna,
I am so sorry to hear of your bad dreams. I had hoped that horrible event was far behind us. You seemed to get over what happened so quickly that I prayed the memories were gone forever. I should have known better. I had bad dreams for at least five years afterward, and I still have them every once in a while. Perhaps, you didn't notice how protective I have been over you children. Your da had nightmares for a long time too. We should have talked more about what happened, especially to you. I think we both just wanted to forget the whole matter.
It would take a lot of paper to tell you everything that led up to those days. I will try to keep the telling of it as short as possible. I don't know how much my telling will help, or if you really want to know what happened. We are hoping you can eventually rid your mind of those memories.
Ah Kim was my dear friend. He saved my life when Mr. Bane, (a seaman), accosted me on the "Harmony", when I sailed here from Ireland. I was the cook for the crew. The captain would not hire me because I was female, so I had my brother, Jerry, apply for the job, and he was hired. Then I disguised myself as him, since we looked very much alike, and I took the job. You are probably wondering why I would want to leave Ireland. Things were really harsh at that time, and I was worried that our family would end up in a workhouse. I decided that I shou
ld go to America and earn enough money to bring my family over here. My parents knew nothing about my deception, I'm sorry to say.
John began whimpering and stirring around. Anna folded up the letter and put it in her apron pocket and went to his side. She began rubbing his back and singing him back to sleep. As she sang she thought about her mother's words. She was shocked that her mother ran away from home at a young age and crossed the ocean by herself. It was something that she could never imagine herself doing. The fact that the Sweeney family had been so poor that they could have ended up in a workhouse was a surprise too. Her parents always had food on the table for their children, and it was unimaginable that they would ever have gone hungry. They always had warm clothes to wear in the winter too. Anna suddenly realized how lucky she was to be an American, and to never have wanted for anything. Even now, George had always provided for them. She remembered the words that were spoken between her parents the day she rented the rig and came to the Hempe Ranch to apply as a teacher at the Hempe School. Her mother had begun to express her worry about Anna taking that trip by herself, and her father had said;
"Now, Mary, seems to me; I remember a girl much younger than Anna, who set out on her own adventures, without her parents' permission." Her mother had responded with, "Yer right, John. I guess me little girl is old enough to follow her own destiny."
She had wondered what they were referring to, and now it was clear that he was talking about her mother. She thought about the pictures her Uncle Jerry had sent from California and how she had noticed that he looked a lot like her mama. John went back to sleep, and things were still quiet in the main room. She could hear George flipping the pages in the book he was reading, and tamping down the tobacco in his pipe, so she sat back down on the bed and took the letter out to continue reading.
