“I saw you in the hallway earlier. You were crying and I didn’t want to interfere. I thought maybe you and Ty were fighting, but he said you were still sleeping.”
“Van, can I ask you something and get your honest opinion?”
She held onto her daughter’s hands as she tried to stand on my bed. “Of course.”
“Do you think Ty would cheat on me?”
“If you’re talking about the Heather thing you should know he told me. The answer is no. He hates Heather. There is no way he would do that. Besides, he is obsessed with you. He called me crying the night of your accident. I just knew he was telling me the truth.”
“You didn’t see the pictures. I know it happened.”
Van shook her head but paid close attention to her daughter. “I didn’t see the pictures.”
I don’t know what came over me, but I became so defensive that I went out into the living room and started searching for the pictures. I knew that Ty had been with me since the day I left him, so they had to still be somewhere in the house. Then it hit me. If Ty hadn’t put away the pictures, then my brother was the one to find them and put them away.
Van must have seen the look on my face. “What?”
“I think Conner knows what Ty did.”
Van started laughing. “Do you really think if your brother saw those pictures Ty would still be able to stand?”
“Hell no. Ty had to put them up.”
“Put what up?” I turned around to see my husband standing in the doorway with Jake. “Someone is hungry for a big melon.”
Van coughed when she heard what he said.
He brought the baby over to me and I got myself ready to feed him. As I was pulling my shirt down he asked again. “So, what did I put up?”
I felt bad even bringing it up, especially after what I had just heard. “It’s nothin’.”
He put his hands on his hips and waited for me to answer.
Van didn’t give me a chance. “I want to see the pictures.”
“Of the boys?” Obviously he was oblivious to what we were talking about.
“No, the other pictures.”
Ty frowned and looked over at me. “Oh, those.”
“Ty, I didn’t want to make you upset.” Van waited for him to answer.
“No, it’s fine, I just really didn’t want to ever look at them again. They’re buried in the woodstove. I’ll be right back.”
Van lifted up Christian and followed behind him. “Ty wait, I’ll just go with you and we can burn them together.
I focused down on little Jake who was chowing down, when I noticed Ty walking back in the room. He stood there looking at me just clenching his jaw. “Only you, Miranda.”
I felt like my heart skipped a beat when he said it. Just like that, he was gone.
Getting up was still a problem for me, so I actually had to call Colt into the bedroom to help me. By the time I laid Jake down, Jax was up and hungry. At this rate I wasn’t ever going to get any sleep. This time I sat down on the couch next to my cousin. He turned his head away as I got adjusted to feed Jax. I covered all the skin up so Colt wouldn’t freak out and let him know it was okay to turn his head back.
“How you doin’, Darlin?”
“It’s safe to say I’ve been better. Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad we’re all home safe, but it has been really hard.”
Noah and Bella came running in the room. “Dad, can you get us some foil?”
“For what?”
“We want to be super heroes.”
I started to giggle, but realized I was shaking poor little Jax’s head.
Colt let out a cackle. “What on earth is the foil for?”
“For our belts, you silly head.” Noah and Bella began giggling.
“Noah, what did I say about the name callin’?” Colt tightened his lips and widened his eyes.
“But you said I couldn’t say poop head.”
“I don’t want you sayin’ anything that ends in head, got it?”
“But heads not even a bad word.”
Colt stood up and went after Noah. “Boy, don’t make me tell you again.”
Colt no sooner sat down when Bella came walking up to him. “Hey Bells, what’s up?”
“Noah wants to know if we can have the foil now.” She was rocking back and forth like she wasn’t doing anything wrong.
I couldn’t help but ask. “So, what kind of superheroes are you goin’ to be? Do you have names?”
“Well, I wanted to be pet girl, but Noah says dogs already have their own, so now I want to be invisible girl.”
Colt and I started laughing. “Bells, what exactly would invisible girl do, besides being invisible?”
She looked at her uncle like he should have already known the answer. She put her hands on her hips and got up closer to him. “I can go into any room without people knowing.”
Obviously, she didn’t realize that was what being invisible did and the fact that we were still laughing made her angry. Colt noticed that he had made her angry so he pretended like it was the coolest thing. “I wish I could do that to spy on Noah when he’s being bad.”
“I want to spy on Mommy and Daddy and make sure they aren’t sad.” She tried to whisper so I couldn’t hear her, but obviously little kids had voices that carried.
“What is Noah bein’?” I changed her focus.
“He wants to be Ant Man, because he says he would be able to crawl in small places and just one cookie would feed him forever.”
Noah came in the room wearing all brown clothes. It wasn’t just that the clothes were brown, they were all Bella’s and they were way too small. “I’m Ant Man.” He ran around the couch until he was in front of us.
Colt looked at me as I looked at him. “The foil is in the top cabinet above the sink. Just let them have it.”
As soon as he handed it to them, they ran back into Bella’s room. Colt reached his hand out to take Jax from me, who was now sound asleep. I managed to cover up my exposed breast right before he lifted Jax away from it. “Thanks.”
“Welcome, Darlin’,” he whispered as he walked Jax back to his room.
When he came back out he looked outside first. I knew he was looking for Ty and Van. At first I thought it was because he thought they were doing something wrong, but then as he sat down beside me, I realized it was so that he knew he had time to talk to me alone.
“You know, I was the last person to think that Ty could change his ways. As soon as that kid started puberty, all he wanted to do was have sex. It’s all he talked about. But Miranda, something changed in him once you were on his radar. He’d lied before, so I was skeptical, even with his promises that his feelin’s for you were different. I was wrong to doubt him, and I think you are too. That man loves you and those kids. I know about the pictures, but Savanna and I have talked about this so many times in the last week and neither of us thinks he would intentionally do that, especially with that tramp.”
If one more person brings this up today I think I am going to scream.
“Even if I believed him, it still doesn’t change the fact that it did happen, whether he was drugged or not, he did those things. Look, before I even heard his side of the story I had decided not to leave him. I’m not going anywhere, but I can’t say that I’m ready to just forget about it. I just can’t do that. It hurts too much to just be able to let it go.”
Colt put his hand on my shoulder and leaned over to kiss me on the head. “Life’s too short.”
He was right and I knew it, but I think I had the right to take my time. I didn’t feel like I was being rude to Ty. I just wanted my space.
Colt got up and walked back toward Bella’s room, which left me sitting by myself. I wondered where my brother had gone again. He seemed to always go out somewhere, yet I still hadn’t met one of his friends. I hated when he was secretive, but he wasn’t drinking or using drugs. I just didn’t get it.
I knew that he and Ty had their moments, but I l
oved him living on the farm with us. I think it was easier for him to move because of me too. He hated that I moved away in the first place. Our mother was so far up her boyfriend’s ass that she kept herself busy. After raising us and never getting involved with anyone while we were younger, it was good for her to be living life to the fullest. I was really hoping that one day he would just pop the question and they could start a long life together.
Then I felt sad for my aunt. She’d lost her husband so early in life. They’d been so close and then one day he was just gone. It was so tragic. My mother was her rock, so her new relationship left her alone. At least she had Lucy, who we all knew would never leave. Both of those women would grow old in that house.
I looked around my living room and was taken aback by how perfect it was. Pictures of our family covered the walls. The whole house was full of happy memories for us and I knew it was where I wanted to grow old with Ty. I’d always said I could never forgive him if he cheated, but I was starting to realize that my marriage was more important than one mistake. If the roles were reversed, Ty would have been devastated, but he would forgive me, because living without me was harder than living with my mistake.
I would forgive him and one day it wouldn’t hurt so much, I just wanted the time to heal in my own way. Since Colt was with the kids, I grabbed the baby monitor and ventured outside. Heather’s visit may have damaged my marriage, but she also brought something to save my family. That day I walked out, I had taken the paternity papers she gave me with me. When the car was totaled, the salvage company boxed up everything in the car and Colt picked it up and brought it to the hospital.
I hadn’t thought much about them, until I realized they may have gotten lost. They were rolled up and wedged between the seat. It was possible they were overlooked. I walked to the shed, making sure nobody saw me outside, and started flipping through the box. After pulling out two of Bella’s coats, two separate shoes and a checkbook, I spotted the rolled up piece of paper.
Conner’s voice scared the crap out of me. “What are you doin’?”
I shoved the papers into the waist of my pants and turned around to face him. “I was lookin’ for my checkbook. I wanted to make sure those guys didn’t take it. That stuff happens you know.” I pushed him out of the way and started walking back to the house. “Where did you go?”
He caught up to me and opened the door for me. “I was around. Were you lookin’ for me?”
“Not really. You just keep disappearing. I’m starting to wonder if you have something to hide.”
He shook his head and looked upset. “I’m not doin’ what you’re thinkin’.”
I grabbed him by the arm and made him look at me. “I didn’t mean that. I meant that it seems like you’re bein’ sneaky. You’re probably seeing some married chick or stripping for fast cash.”
I was totally joking, but when my brother smiled and started to walk away, I darted in front of him. Well, as fast as my sore body would let me. He just kept smiling. “It’s not as bad as you’re thinkin’.”
“What are you doin’ Conner?”
He put his hands on my shoulders and looked me right in the eye. “It’s nothin’ for you to worry about, I swear.”
“You’re not very convincing.”
“Don’t worry your pretty little self over it. You just focus on your family.”
He was up to something and I was going to get to the bottom of it. I hated secrets and I felt like everyone had them. My brother knew how to be sneaky and it didn’t help that he was very cocky. Thinking you are God’s greatest gift to women was bad enough. He wasn’t going to tell me, so all I could do was hope that it wasn’t something dangerous. He was my brother and I wanted him to always be safe.
Chapter 27
Ty
I was so sick of reliving the same day over and over. I had myself to blame, but I was fucking sick of it all. Every single day I was forced to explain myself. We no sooner got home and I was being asked about something that I just wanted to forget.
When Van and Miranda asked about those pictures, they may as well have hit me with a hammer. Van was being curious, but her talking about it, left it fresh in Miranda’s head again. I felt like I took one step forward and six steps back with making amends.
When I found out about Miranda, I left the pictures on the table. Conner took it upon himself to gather them up and put them in the woodstove. He didn’t tell me til we were getting ready to leave the hospital and I remembered where I’d left them.
He should have just burned them there and then, but instead he left them there for me to do.
Van followed me into the barn and I went rummaging into the stove looking for them. “Don’t you know where they are in there?”
“No, look don’t tell Miranda, but Conner put them in here.”
“What? You mean he knows?” She looked shocked.
“He’s who I called that night. He knew the plan the whole time and was kind of in on it with me. He’s the one who suggested I was drugged.”
She sighed. “Since he hasn’t beaten the shit out of you I should have guessed that. Wow, I never would think he’d want you doing anything like that.”
“Everyone is forgetting that this was always about Izzy. Conner knew it was the only way to secure her as my daughter and keep her away from that piece of shit old lady.”
“I didn’t forget.”
I found the pictures and handed them to her. I watched her reactions as she looked at each one of them. I was about to grab them out of her hand when she started going through them a third time, but she held one up in front of my face. “Look at this picture, Ty. Look in the background at the mirror.”
I took the picture and tried not to look at a naked Heather on top of me. In the mirror I could see someone standing there holding the camera. “Holy shit; there was someone else in the room. This person could prove I was drugged.”
“Or that everything was staged. You don’t even know you really had sex.”
She was right and I wanted to believe that even in an incoherent state, I would never do that to my wife. I needed to find this person, but the picture was too small to tell who it could have been. All I knew was that she had blonde hair. It was little to go on, since Heather’s friends all had blonde hair. Even if I did figure out who it was, none of them would be willing to screw her over.
“This might help Miranda believe me, but I doubt we can prove anything else with it. I should have just had a drug test. I just honestly wanted to bury it, Van. I didn’t want to ever talk about it again. I should have known Heather wouldn’t stop until I was miserable.”
“Stop feeling sorry for yourself and prove Miranda wrong. She’s crazy in love with you. What happened to the Ty who was sexy enough to get whatever he wanted? Maybe instead of dwelling on the negative, you should just try to make her want you again.”
I held my hand up in front of her face. “I know I joke around about sex to you, mostly because it drives you crazy, but I’m kinda weirded out right now.”
She started laughing. “You’re kidding right?”
“Not at all.”
She pushed me away from her. “You were my first. It’s not a secret. I’m sure you and Miranda have done more than I could ever even imagine, but one thing I know for a fact is that when you love, you do it with your whole heart. I’m not saying to attack your wife sexually, but maybe if you could show her that being with her sexually isn’t just about the sex, it’s about the connection you share together. There isn’t any other person that either of you will feel that with. Look, I’m not saying sex is the solution, but maybe you should stop crying about it and try another approach.”
“I refuse to take sexual advice from you.” I was being sarcastic, but she still rolled her eyes anyway.
“You and Miranda were good friends, but your relationship is also very physical. Right now half of your relationship is missing and you’re both paying the toll. I know she isn’t supposed to have i
ntercourse yet, but her holding out on you isn’t just punishing you, I’m sure it’s punishing her as well. You know I’m right.”
I walked over to the pool table and tossed the balls around. “Maybe, but it doesn’t change the fact that she doesn’t want me touching her like that. I’m just a constant reminder of the person she never wanted to be with.”
“Do you remember when Colt’s dad died and he pushed me away?”
I rolled my eyes and leaned over the table to face her. “Of course I remember. If you’ve forgotten it was when you dumped me for my cousin.”
She tossed a ball my way. “Whatever, you deserved it.”
“It all led me to Miranda, so I’m not complaining.”
“Anyway, what I wanted to say was that Colt pushed me away and I honestly thought he didn’t want anything to do with me. He sat in our kitchen and told you he didn’t care if I went home. It hurt me so much and I felt like he didn’t love me the way I loved him. I’m not saying your situation is the same. We both know how much Miranda loves you, but what I am saying is that I think you’re wrong. I think she does want you to touch her. The only way to get past it without proving her wrong is to show her how she is the only one you want to be with. Don’t tell her Ty, show her.”
I looked down at the pool table again. If Van was right and I could touch my wife without her cringing, I wanted to know. I hated that she didn’t want me that way anymore. “What if she rejects me? I mean, it isn’t like I haven’t tried to be physical.”
She shook her head and started walking toward me. I had no idea what the hell she was doing, so I started backing up. “Whoa! What are you doing?”
She shoved me against the wall and stood so close to me I could feel her breathing. My eyes got big and I was freaking out. Van never made me feel uncomfortable, but at that very moment, I believed she was going to kiss me. “Stop being afraid of your wife, you stupid asshole.”
Before I could sigh in relief, she smacked me hard on the chest. “Ouch! What was that for?”
“For thinking I was actually going to kiss you. Are you insane?”
Risking Fate Page 26
