An underlying disease or disorder sometimes causes poor memory. A certain degree of forgetfulness is a normal part of aging, too much stress, or depression. But really bad memory may be a sign of a more serious problem. If you notice any of the following symptoms, make an appointment for a complete check up with your GP:
You become confused when performing activities you’re very familiar with, such as doing the washing or cooking.
You get lost when going to places you regularly visit, such as the post office or the supermarket.
You get disoriented, unsure about where you are or what you’re doing, for more than a brief moment or two.
Your memory problems begin to significantly interfere with your everyday work or relationships.
Your doctor may find that a treatable, physical cause is at the centre of these problems, or may alternatively decide that your memory problem is due to depression, too much stress, or anxiety.
Assisting Your Ailing Memory
So, you have a few problems with your memory. If you’re depressed, you probably don’t have lots of enthusiasm for any strenuous exercise that can help improve your memory. So we’re going to give you some quick, simple tips and techniques to help you cope until your depression lifts and your memory improves.
If you’re ready for some advanced memory training, browse the shelves at your local bookshop. Books like Improving Your Memory For Dummies, by John Arden, (Wiley) can really help.
Putting pen to paper
Acknowledging that you have a problem with your memory, and then taking steps to work on it is a great start. Keep a daily planner next to you at all times, and make sure that you use it. Write down everything you need to remember. List your appointments, what you need from the shops, names of people you recently met, and things you want to get done. Check your daily planner often.
If you use a personal organiser, do make sure that you update it regularly with all your important appointments and daily reminders. Sophisticated technology can be very useful for people with memory problems. For example, some electronic devices ring scheduled alarms to remind their owners to check their calendars, take their medication, or perform other daily chores. On the other hand, you may find that good old-fashioned pen and paper suits you better.
Consulting your daily planner whenever you sit down for a meal or a cup of coffee or tea can help avoid the embarrassing experience a number of people of reported. There you are having just finished dinner at home, and the phone rings. It’s your friends saying ‘Is there a problem? We were expecting you for dinner an hour ago – remember? We arranged this weeks ago. Have you forgotten?’ Flustered and embarrassed, you mumble a feeble-sounding excuse, grab coat and bag, and race off to ‘enjoy’ a second dinner without mentioning that you’re absolutely stuffed – in more ways than one!
Developing routines
Picture the scene: You finally managed to force yourself to do some shopping, and now you’re absolutely shattered. You push your shopping trolley out of the supermarket exit and, suddenly, you can’t remember where you parked. You feel such a fool, and are ready to burst into tears. This situation can happen to anyone. But when you’re depressed absentmindedness becomes more of a problem, making you feel even more awful, and it can give you yet another reason for feeling bad about yourself.
Try this way of getting round this type of situation. Every time you go shopping, try to park regularly at the end of the row, to either the right or left of the entrance. Alternatively, always choose a particular place on the top floor of the car park, which is usually the least crowded. If you have a favourite shopping centre or supermarket, take some time to select a rarely used space. Park there, even when other spaces nearer the entrance are free. Parking in the same spot increases your chance of remembering where you left the car. It also has the additional benefit of making you walk a little further, by choosing a spot some way from the entrance (see Chapter 10 for information about the benefits of exercise for depression).
Developing habits and routines for other instances of absentmindedness can also help. For example, put up a decorative hook or get a basket for your car and house keys, and make sure that you always put your keys there. Don’t forget to write these tasks down in your daily planner (see the earlier section ‘Putting pen to paper’).
Smelling (and touching and seeing) the roses
Most people experience the world through sight, sound, touch, smell, and taste. Memory experts have discovered that when you use more than one sense, your ability to remember something improves. For example, when you listen to several instructions, you’re more likely to remember them if you also see them in writing and then write them down yourself.
When you need to remember something, try to experience it with as many senses as possible. For example, if you want to remember the address ‘10 Greene Street’, picture ten people mowing grass beside a residential road. Using both the image and the smell of the green grass helps plant the address in your memory.
You can also use a familiar melody to help you remember information – just like children do when learning the alphabet. Just change the lyrics of a song to include the information you want remember. But don’t forget, one of the very best ways to remember something is to write it down. Writing and singing involve using more than one of your senses.
Using your senses in this way is great for improving memory. But beware the limitations of this technique. When you want to remember the names and faces of people you meet, reaching out and tracing the shape of their faces (or any other part of their anatomy) probably isn’t a good idea. And tasting people you’ve just met is really not advisable!
Talking sense!
University of Michigan psychologist Oscar Ybarra examined the relationship between memory and cognitive ability and social engagement. He studied more than 3,000 Americans between the ages of 24 and 96. He also studied 2,000 people from the Middle East. He found that, across cultures, the more people talk to others, the better their memory and cognitive functioning.
Does this mean that if you start talking to people more, your memory is going to improve and your IQ is going to sky rocket? Well, it’s not that easy. We can’t conclude from this study that social engagement causes improved memory or prevents your memory from declining. It may be that people with good memory tend to get together with friends or family more often, and that people with memory problems or depression tend to stay away from other people. So don’t feel like you have to become a social butterfly. On the other hand, the more support you get from others, the better you feel. And getting together with other people can be an excellent alternative to withdrawing deeper into your depression.
Remembering names
Are you having difficulty in remembering names? Do you forget someone’s name only seconds after being introduced? If so, try this: next time you’re introduced to someone, use their name at least three times when you have another conversation with the person. ‘Hi, Ryan, nice to meet you, Ryan. So, do you live locally, Ryan?’
Try looking directly at the person and taking a mental photograph. As you make eye contact, use the person’s name again in conversation. When you turn away, picture the person’s name, face, and anything interesting you discovered about them. Repeat the name to yourself several more times, and then go and write it down on the daily planner or key it into your personal organiser (see the earlier section ‘Putting pen to paper’).
Biting off no more than you can chew
Chunking involves grouping or organising large amounts of information into small units. Doing so greatly helps your memory. Here’s an example of how chunking works.
First, read the following numbers and then close your eyes and try to remember them.
6 3 2 8 9 5 7 4 5
You may find this exercise is difficult. An excellent technique for remembering strings of unrelated numbers is to put them together in shorter units or chunks. Now read the following numbers and then close your eyes and repeat the
m.
5 5 4 – 7 5 9 – 8 2 3
Did you do a little better this time? Your brain, and immediate memory in particular, finds it easier to hold onto greater quantities of small parcels of information than storing one large amount of information.
Decreasing multitasking
Do you ever talk on the phone at the same time as answering your email? Do you sometimes listen to the news while you’re reading the newspaper? The modern world encourages, and sometimes demands, multitasking. However, when you’re depressed, your ability to pay attention is put under pressure. And multitasking makes heavy demands on your attention.
Understand that, during a time of depression, your concentration may not be as good as usual. If you need to remember something or figure out something new, do so in a quiet setting. Make sure that you concentrate on only one thing at a time.
Following through
Do you have several uncompleted projects hanging over you? The stress of knowing that you have unfinished business may increase your negative mood. When you’re having problems with your memory, chasing up progress on several different fronts becomes especially difficult.
Whatever you start, make sure that you finish it. Don’t begin another project until you’ve finished the one you’ve already begun. Alternatively, you can finish a portion of your project and then plan ahead for a later time, place, and space to tackle the rest. For example, with something as time-consuming as your tax return, you may want to break it down into logical pieces, rather than doing it all at once. And finally, make sure that you plan far enough ahead, so that within your plan you are giving yourself enough time for your project.
Food for thought
The food you eat and drink can affect your memory. Eating lots of fruit and vegetables may help you remember more, as well as allowing to you hold on better to the memories you already have. In 2000, research presented at the Society for Neuroscience showed that rats who were fed a diet of spinach performed better on tests involving memory and learning than did rats who ate a more typical rat diet. Although the results are preliminary, this study supports the theory that the antioxidants (substances that destroy harmful oxidants which adversely affect your body) found in fruits and vegetables can neutralise the free radical molecules (the byproducts of oxidation) that are thought to contribute to the cell damage and memory loss associated with aging.
Letting it go and reviving recall
One of the most annoying memory problems can be forgetting a word or name in the middle of a conversation. You know that you’re going to remember it tomorrow, or in a couple of minutes, but it’s on the tip of your tongue and yet won’t come out of your mouth! You feel so silly, and the more you try to remember it, the more infuriated you get with yourself.
Stop, take a deep breath, and relax. Tell yourself that it happens to us all, and that remembering the word isn’t really that important. Let yourself start thinking about something else. Then, a little later, take some time to think about any associations you may have with that name or word. Most likely, you’re then going to find that you remember it. And, whatever else you forget, don’t forget to remind yourself that depression disrupts memory!
Part III
Actively Combating Depression: Behaviour Therapy
In this part . . .
Depression stops people in their tracks. Inactivity and a sense of inertia often go hand in hand with depression. This part explores how to change your behaviour, so you can get moving again. Just taking a few initial steps can look like an insurmountable barrier. So we start this part off by showing you how to climb over the obstacles to activity constructed by your mind. Then we explore Exercise Avenue, a great route for improving mood. Next, we encourage you to reconnect with pleasurable activities – whether you feel like doing so or not. Finally, we provide a step-by-step method for solving some of life’s most troublesome, irritating problems.
Chapter 9
Don’t take it Lying Down!
In This Chapter
Understanding motivation
Monitoring your activity
Curing ‘can’t do-itis’
Giving credit where credit’s due
In this chapter, we give you the tools for putting together an action plan to get you moving again. We then explain how depression reduces motivation, and offer you exercises for overcoming your inactivity. Right now, you may think that just reading a few pages of this book isn’t going to help you deal with the overwhelming lethargy you’re feeling. But try to be patient, and give our suggestions a go. After all, you’ve got nothing to lose by reading on a bit further.
Depression drains your confidence, energy, and motivation. If you’re seriously depressed, you’re probably feeling that you can’t carry out even the basic tasks of daily living.
The clock chimes 1, 2, 3, and then it’s 10 a.m. Tears stream down Paul’s face; he’s still in bed. Waves of shame wash over him. Another wasted weekend. He feels like a lazy, good for nothing failure. He just can’t face even simple day-to-day tasks. Crushing sadness paralyses him. He’s a prisoner of depression, unable to escape. The pain deepens, with each day worse than the one before. ‘When is it going to end? How can I end it?’ he sobs.
If you’ve hardly moved for several days and have thoughts of profound hopelessness or death, you need to go and talk to a professional. If making an appointment feels too difficult, ask a friend or family member to help you. You can also pick up the phone and get help: call a crisis line, such as the Samaritans, NHS Direct, your GP, your local Community Mental Health Resource Centre, or your nearest hospital Accident and Emergency department. National phone numbers are listed in the Appendix.
Acting on Action-Blocking Thoughts
Doing the dishes, putting out the rubbish, paying bills, and mowing the lawn – not everyone’s cup of tea, but when you’re feeling depressed finding the necessary motivation to tackle such chores can be a major problem.
Struggling with depression can make everyday living feel like you’re walking in thick, deep, gooey mud. A kitchen with a few dirty dishes may as well be an Army mess hall, paying the monthly bills feels like doing three years of tax returns at once, and taking out the rubbish is the equivalent of climbing Mount Everest.
When you’re battling depression, you’re likely to neglect important tasks. And that’s perfectly understandable. However, putting off necessary chores can set off a multitude of negative thoughts and guilty feelings, sapping any motivation you have and deepening your depression. We call these thoughts action-blocking thoughts, and they include any negative thought about your inability to act, or about the futility of doing so. These thoughts can stop you from getting started, or can even stop you dead in your tracks.
If you find yourself thinking action-blocking thoughts, take a close look at the action blockers. You may well find that your inactivity is built on flimsy foundations. Examining your action-blocking thoughts can help you escape their tenacious grip and break the cycle of inactivity. Otherwise, you can all too easily find your mood humming along to the tune of that downward spiral ‘The less you do, the worse you feel; the worse you feel, the less you do’ – second verse, same as the first . . .
In the following sections, we highlight four common action-blocking thoughts and expose their central flaws. When you can let go of the action-blocking thinking that is holding you back, you can start overcoming your inactivity.
I just can’t be bothered . . .
When you’re feeling okay, you don’t usually lack motivation – and even on those occasions when you don’t feel particularly keen on doing something, somehow the desire to get started just seems to arise from nowhere.
Motivation rarely appears spontaneously in the midst of depression. When you’re depressed, it’s important to get into action. Behaviour changes first, and feelings, second. Taking action actually creates motivation.
Just a few minutes more . . .
This thought, like the previous one about mo
tivation, is seductively inaccurate, and is based on faulty thinking. When you’re feeling exhausted, believing that more rest is going to help recharge your batteries is only too easy. Some people then spend more and more time in bed, trying to kid themselves that if they just get enough rest, they’re going to be ready to tackle those tasks they keep on shelving. But feeling energetic never happens, because too much rest causes muscles to weaken and fatigue to deepen.
To function properly, you need a healthy balance of activity and rest. Activity (unless it’s unusually excessive and prolonged) actually recharges the body giving you drive and energy. The vital key to overcoming fatigue and inactivity is to work on getting started, and just taking one small step at a time.
Overcoming Depression For Dummies Page 23
