She cuts a look to Stewart and the edges of his mouth twitch.
“Fine.”
“Thanks,” Jennings snaps, dismissing Hilary. “Now, if you please, Stewart, we’ll head straight to the dock from here.”
She turns on her heels without a reply and walks to the driver’s open window, her lips moving at a speed that makes my lips hurt.
“Sorry about that,” Jennings apologizes.
Wrapping my arm around his back, I lean my head on his chest and nod. “No big deal.” I want to change the subject. His face is still an odd shade of red. “So, a boat, huh?”
“Yep.”
“Not going to elaborate?”
“Are you going to be naughty again?” He lowers his voice. “Because that changes things.”
A shiver runs through my body and I slap his chest gently. “Maybe later.”
He kisses the crown of my head. “In that case, my lips are sealed.”
“I figured as much.”
The drive to the dock takes twenty minutes and by the time we get there, I’m on pins and needles.
Row upon row of lavish yachts line the wooden wharf and I can’t believe my eyes. Growing bigger and more extravagant, each yacht becomes less of a boat and more house looking.
“Jesus…. I didn’t know houses could float.”
Jennings looks at me over his shoulder, his dimple making an appearance. “You know it, Pretty Girl.”
We pass by dozens of yachts when finally Jennings stops at boat named Stargazer. It’s three tiers high and has a deck the size of my first apartment. The body is sleek white with a purple and blue stripe down the middle. It kind of looks like a speedboat on crack, just with more levels. The long deck in the back appears to have a rather large pool, many lounge chairs and a Jacuzzi.
“Is this yours, too?” I question with obvious awe in my voice. This place—and I say place because it’s not a thing…I mean, it is a thing, but a “thing” wouldn’t be the right word to describe what the Stargazer is. It’s a place in itself. It’s overwhelming.
A man appears at the bottom of the stairs, taking our bags from Jennings hands. They exchange pleasantries, Jennings being the ever-sweet celebrity and the man leads us onto the extravagant floating palace.
When we step onto the boat I’m greeted with a bar the size of well—a bar. You’d think I’d just walked into an old pub on Main Street downtown. The inside isn’t nearly as excessive as I imagined it would be and I feel at home. On a boat. This is weird.
“Whitley, it’s nice to meet you.” He gives me a bow. A freaking bow. I had no idea I was so fancy.
Insert curtsey, here.
“My name is Collins. I’m the Captain of this great vessel. Please let me know if you need anything.” He looks between Jennings and me. “We have a staff of four on the boat with us this weekend, so there are a lot of us around. Simply push the assistance button in any of the rooms and someone will help you.” He claps his hands together and rubs them. “I’m going to leave you to it.” He tips his hat and walks away.
“Wow,” I breathe.
Jennings cups my neck with his hand, bringing my forehead to his lips. “Welcome to the Stargazer, Whit.”
Butterflies take flight in my belly and I sigh. “Thank you.”
“To answer your question, no. The boat is Bradley’s and the jet is mine.”
“Nice.”
“Yeah, we sort of share the two.”
“Who named the boat Stargazer?”
“Actually, I did. We played rock, paper, scissors in order to figure out who bought what.” He laughs, clearly still amused by their situation. “Three rounds and one bickering match later, I bought the plane and Brad got the boat.”
“What’s the plane’s name?”
He rolls his eyes. “It’s ridiculous.”
I chew on the inside of my lip. “Ridiculous is fun.”
Jennings ughs. “He named it Goose’s Spruce.”
My mouth falls open. “Goose…as in Top Gun?”
“That would be the one.”
I shake my head. “You’re right. It’s ridiculous. But, very Bradley.”
Jennings jerks his head to the bar and we sit down on the wooden stools in front of the shiny high-top. A bartender appears with a smile on her face and smirk on her mouth. She longingly looks at Jennings and I can’t help but sympathize.
“Mr. Jennings.” She looks down, not looking him in the eye. “What can I get you?”
“Rum. Neat, please,” he says with a smile and turns to me. “What do you want, Whitley?”
The bartender looks at me and her shoulders slump.
Yes, lady, I’m here with Jennings, gawk, I know you want to.
Hell, I would.
“I’ll take a white wine. Thanks.” I give her a genuine grin. I’m not about to make enemies with anyone while we are on water. She could throw me off of the poop deck and I’d be history.
My nice demeanor must have warmed her slightly because she winks. “You got it.”
“So,” Jennings snakes his hand around my waist. “What do you want to do?”
I glance around. “Well, are we going to stay docked here?”
“Oh.” He smirks. “You actually want to go out on water? Well, shit, we might as well go to a hotel. I hadn’t thought to actually go anywhere.”
My face falls. “Umm, we’re on a boat and we aren’t going to sail?”
A spurt of laughter crackles from Jennings lips and he shakes his head. “No, crazy, we aren’t going to stay docked here. We are going to an island of the coast of Playa del Carmen.”
My heart stutters and I get excited. “Really? So we aren’t actually sleeping here? On the boat, I mean?”
The bartender returns with our drinks and Jennings and I lift the glasses to our lips, taking sips. It’s only five in the evening. I should probably pace myself.
“Not tonight. We’ll stay at the house on the island and take the jet ski out to sightsee tomorrow.”
Okay—wow. I look at him dumbfounded.
“What?” He tilts his head.
“This. Jennings, who lives like this? Four months ago I was lucky to eat out once a week. And now I’m vacationing with you on a yacht that could house thousands of people.” Jennings levels his eyes and I roll mine. “Okay, fine. Not thousands, but—a lot. I mean—geeze, we are going to an island…then, instead of traveling in a car or hell, by foot, you travel by jet ski. This is all just very weird.”
“Weird can be good. And, to be fair, we can’t drive anywhere on the island. It’s not very big.”
“How far is it from here?”
He shrugs his shoulder and downs his glass of brown alcohol. “An hour, maybe. I’ve never actually been here.”
I can’t help but ask, “What about the boat? Do you use it a lot?”
I wonder who he brought here before me. And if it was a woman. I let my thoughts consider the fact that I’m not the only woman who’s sat in this seat. Dreamy-eyed and wishful, hoping to gain the affection of this man.
“I’ve only ever used the boat with my parents,” Jennings snickers, entertained.
“Oh.” I, very un-lady like, gulp my wine, sucking the last bubbles. I set the glass down, fingering the stem, turning it around with my fingertips. “I didn’t say anything,” I reply, way too innocent.
He sees right through me.
“Whitley, I’m checking off a lot of firsts with you on this trip.”
That perks me right up. “Yeah?”
He lifts from his seat. I do the same and follow him out into the hallway.
“Just going to leave our bags out here?”
“No, I had Stewart put them in the safe downstairs.”
Jesus, apparently Stewart is stealthy.
“Ah.”
“Let me show you around.” He takes my hand and leads me to the deck. We pass a couple rooms and a bathroom. The floor’s speckled texture gleams under my feet. The ship is so clean, I’m afraid t
o touch even a door handle. Fingerprints have to be the enemy of whoever cleans it.
We set sail while we were in the bar and I hadn’t noticed.
Like the damn entrance to Narnia, Jennings pushes the door at the end of the hall open and we exit the boat. Large wooden planks open to a deck that looks to be the size of a football field. A lap pool sits on the right side and a Jacuzzi that sits at least fifty sits on the left. Fluffy, white chairs are scattered throughout the entire deck, along with another bar.
“Whoa,” I breathe.
“Right? Bradley went all out. You see that?” He points to another part of the area. I can’t make out what it is, but it’s huge and blue. “A make-shift surf simulator.”
“Umm, what?” I say. Did he just talk in another language?
He chuckles and squeezes my hand. “You can turn on the water, and it’ll create surf-like conditions.”
“You can surf? On a ship?”
“Yep.”
“This is nuts.”
Pulling me along, he takes me to the edge of the boat, and stands behind me, pinning me to the railing. “This is a first.” He kisses my neck. “Everything we’ve done today is a first. Plane ride with anyone but Bradley or my family? Check. With you.” He skims his fingers down my arm. “Taking someone on a yacht. Check. With you.” Another kiss to my neck. “Vacationing with a woman I’m so insanely into. Check. With you.”
I let his words settle over me like the cool mist spraying over us as we glide on the water. He’s never done anything like this before.
I let my head fall back on his shoulder and we begin to sway to our own music.
“Would you dance with me?” Jennings sighs into my ear and I turn in his arms.
The stars are just about to show themselves and I look to the sky. The orange glow of the setting sun sets the emotion of our situation. Wrapping my arms around Jennings’ neck, he holds me snug. Every part of my body touches his and I close my eyes, letting him take the lead. His hands slide up and down my back as he begins to hum a soft melody in my ear. I inch my head closer to his mouth until his lips are touching my skin. His quiet melody makes it way through his lips and into my ears and I take a second to compose myself. This is so incredibly romantic, I’m not quite sure if I’m making this up in my head or not.
If you had asked me two years ago where I would be at this time in my life, I would have told you that I’d be sitting on my couch watching a movie. Probably hiding in my house with Holli, attempting to mask my past by living in the shadows. I definitely wouldn’t have thought I’d be here, in the arms of a man who not only is hounded by the media but the world. I would have never guessed I’d be wrapped in his embrace listening to him serenade me a song from his heart. And I sure as hell wouldn’t have dreamed I’d be falling so deeply for him.
He helps dull the pain. He finds ways to take my hideous past and make it not seem as horrific. He absorbs the raw, infected wound and covers it with a bandage. His unwavering understanding and support make me wonder if my past was really that bad. I wonder how someone like me, someone who screwed up so royally, could possibly find someone like him.
“I miss you when you aren’t around, Whit,” he whispers into my hair and I’m not sure if he realizes he said it out loud.
The darkness has descended upon us and we’re bathed in the night. Our stars shine brilliantly in the sky and the evening feels unexpectedly magical.
I pull back and rest my forehead on his, closing my eyes. Emotions burst from me and I fight them back. I haven’t felt anything in so long. I’m not even sure how to properly handle them.
“You make the dark appear sunnier. The stars? They’re ours, Whit. No matter where I am, not matter how many miles sit between us; I want you to remember the stars. They’re our reminder of what we have. This feeling, the one we’re feeling right now, that’ll never go away if you remember the stars. They shine for us. The glint and gleam is a reminder that if we can recall this time, we can make it.”
Thump, thump.
I nod my head, tears threatening.
“I’m going to have to leave eventually. There are going to be times when I have to go and tell you goodbye. There might be times when I have to miss your birthday, or a holiday, but that doesn’t mean that I don’t want to be with you. Every second of every day.”
I have no idea what’s making him open up so much, but I keep quiet and listen. Each word he speaks simultaneously wraps my heart in Jennings bubble wrap and breaks it because I don’t know if I can feel for him what he feels for me. Even thinking about giving myself completely over to him makes me frightened. How am I supposed to know if he’s going to crush me? This evening alone could be enough to haunt me for the rest of my life. He wants to give us the stars and that makes the “old Whitley” want to go into a full-blown panic. I’ve never been given anything but disappointment and let down in relationships. I’ve only ever been dealt pain.
“Jennings,” I breathe. “You have no idea what you’re getting with me.” I shake my head, it still resting on his. A tear trickles from the corner of my eye. “Whatever this is, it scares the shit out of me. I’m broken. Destroyed. I can’t promise to give you what you want—what you should have. You’re so incredibly patient with me. You don’t know why I am the way I am, yet, you sit here and open your heart to me. I don’t know if I can give you the same,” I confess.
Why can’t I just tell him? I’m holding us back by being a coward.
He licks his lips, giving me a peck on my lips. “Sometimes, Whit—sometimes suffering brings out the extraordinary in people. You’re not ready to move on and that’s okay. One day when you are, I’m going to be here. I’m not ready to give up on you. Don’t kill what we have because you’re afraid. Don’t push me away. You don’t have to lay everything out on the line. You don’t even have to let me in all the way. Even though I so desperately want to go in. Just—just be with me. We’ll figure the rest out.”
I pull away and lay my head on his shoulder, drawing him tighter to me. My hand travels to the back of his neck where his hair lies and I comb my fingers through it as we stay swaying to the sounds of the water.
“I don’t want to disappoint you.” I shut my eyes with force. Watching the hurt on Jennings’ face when he finds out what I did…it’ll damage me more than anything I’ve endured this far.
“You won’t.”
But, I don’t know how he can promise something with so much conviction when he can’t begin to fathom what I’m holding inside.
I’m a nuclear bomb just waiting to go off, and he’s going to get caught in the explosion.
THERE’S A MOMENT WHEN you go into complete panic-mode. That mode where you freak the fuck out because you so desperately want something to go great, but you’re worried it won’t. I’m having that moment right now. I bought this little island the second I knew Whitley was in this with me. And, I swear I don’t do lavish stuff like this. I’ve never bought anything expensive for anyone but myself. This is all very new to me. Caring for someone other than myself isn’t something I easily do. Guarding my heart has been my number one priority since I began in this life. You never know if people love you for you or your money. Leaving Alabama was my clean slate. I could be who I wanted, and that meant putting myself first.
But, now there’s Whitley. With her secrets and shadows, she’s found a way into my life and I want to find ways to take those shadows away, even just a little bit. There are moments when I see the happiness, where the worry is gone and she can just be herself. But, more times than not, she’s lost in that place where I can’t bring her back. Where her eyes look so far into the distance…or past, and she’s lost to the world. I don’t think she knows she does it. It’ll be a few minutes here and there. While we are in class, or as I’m walking her to her car. She doesn’t do it often when Jennings is with her. She always seems preoccupied when she’s with me. If I were an egomaniac, I’d say it’s because of me. I can chase her problems away, but I kn
ow that’s not true. I see her trying to push the shadows away in my presence. She doesn’t want to disappoint.
“So, we’re going to an island?” Whit asks as we walk around the boat. “Your island?” The smirk on her face tells me that she thinks it’s amusing that I bought an island, but little does she know, I did it for her. For us.
“My island, yes.” I level my eyes as we turn into the main room of the boat. Bradley had an entire floor dedicated to his “family room.” Three televisions, game systems, arcade games, a pool table, foosball, and couches, it is a man cave to the nth degree.
“I should be surprised,” Whit jokes, amazed. “But, I’m not.”
“There isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for a pretty lady.” I wiggle my eyebrows and grab her hand to lead her to the top floor.
She rolls her eyes, but doesn’t make me elaborate. When we arrive to the top floor, Whitley gasps. The entire ceiling is glass. From any room, you can be in your bed and look at the stars. I asked for this feature. Being a big believer in stars, I wanted to be able to see them on the water.
“Wow,” she breathes, covering her mouth. “This is—this is…Jesus, I don’t know how to put into words how perfect it, Jenns. Being able to see the stars?” She looks at me, slightly teary eyed. “It’s beautiful.”
That look in her eyes? The awe—I never want that to go away. I want to put that look there every day.
I pull her to my room and close the door. The island isn’t far from our location, and I don’t want to leave without her being able to enjoy my favorite part of the yacht.
“Come here and lay down with me?” I ask, walking to the bed.
She smiles radiantly and nods her head.
I lay down first, and Whitley follows. Lying on my back, she moves to my side and I slip my arm behind her head. She snuggles against me and wraps her arm around my chest. I latch onto her and kiss her head.
We lay like this, watching the stars twinkle as the boat moves, and I’m reminded why this is my favorite place on Earth. It doesn’t matter where I go, the serenity I feel as I watch the sky pass by in this room…it can’t be duplicated.
Anyone but Him Page 22
