by C. R. Ellis
“Hey, pretty girl,” I croaked through a choked voice.
She tilted her head up and blinked at me, confusion etched across her features. “What happened? Where are we?” Her voice sounded even raspier than usual. “Am I dead? This has to be what death feels like.”
I knew she’d have questions, but I was unprepared for the difficulty of answering the first one. Telling her what happened wouldn’t be easy, not when it involved explaining everything about my family. Up to this point, everything I’d told Jade about them was vague, but I owed her so much more than an explanation about what happened; I owed her an explanation for my actions back in Austin, and said explanation could only be given honestly if I let her in on the sordid details of my disaster of a family.
I chose to answer her last question. “You’re very much alive, and you’re still in New York.”
“And you? How—why are you here, Emmett? I didn’t think I’d ever see you again.” She dropped her eyes as she tugged the sheet up and over her chest, creating a barrier between us. The pain in her voice wrapped itself around my heart and threatened to elicit tears.
I sighed and dragged my fingers across the stubble on my jaw. “God, Jade, I’m sorry. You have no idea how sorry I am. I fucked everything up, and I know you have every right to be pissed at me. If I could go back in time, I swear to you I’d have handled things so differently. I panicked and thought I was doing the right thing when, in reality, I was doing the opposite.”
“What changed your mind? How’d you know I was here?”
I opened my mouth to explain, but there was a gentle knock at the door. “Jade, I’m Dr. White. How are you feeling?”
“Like death. No, worse than death. Like I drank the entire alcohol supply of the club I went to last night.”
“I’m afraid that’s to be expected.” Dr. White gave Jade a sympathetic frown as she checked her vital signs.
“Will somebody tell me what happened? Did I get alcohol poisoning or something?”
Martina shot me a what have you told her look, and I shook my head to let her know I hadn’t gotten around to any kind of explanation yet. She stretched her stethoscope around her neck before gently sitting on the opposite side of Jade’s bed. “We won’t know for sure until the tests come back, but you were likely given some kind of drug in one of your drinks. What do you remember about last night?”
Jade’s head shook back and forth. “I remember the car ride to Smash, going to the VIP section with the girls, but then it goes blank.”
“Have you ever blacked out from drinking before?”
“Never.”
Martina pushed off the bed and stood. “Well, like I said, we won’t know for sure until the tests come back, but I’m fairly certain that’s what happened. You’re very fortunate Harrison was there,” she finished, twisting around to nod in his direction.
Jade’s eyes followed Martina’s gesture until she found Harrison. “I don’t know how to thank you, Harrison.” Her eyebrows pinched together and tears threatened to spill over.
Harrison moved toward her hesitantly, clearly uncomfortable at the sight of her crying. “No need to thank me, Curious Jade.”
“Jade, your vital signs are good, and the worst of the effects are behind you. Unless you’d object, I think you’re ready to start the discharge process,” Dr. White stated.
“Did, um, did someone get in touch with my brother? He can come pick me up.”
I couldn’t blame her for having doubts about me.
“Can you guys give us a minute?” I asked, looking from Harrison to Dr. White.
They both nodded and stepped out.
Jade kept her eyes down and wove her fingers together.
“Jasmine called Dean, but he hasn’t answered. I told her I’d try, but he didn’t answer when I called from your phone, either,” I explained. I was hoping she’d overlook the way I sort of broke into her phone. “Jade, let me take you home. Er—to the corporate apartment I have here. I’m not leaving you. You shouldn’t be alone, not like this.” I held my breath as I waited for her response, bracing myself for her refusal.
Green eyes brimming with so many emotions they’d fill the Atlantic bore into mine. “That’s ironic, Emmett, considering the text you sent me forty-eight hours ago after swearing you’d explain everything. Which is it—you want nothing to do with me, or you want to babysit me, probably out of some sort of guilt?”
I deserved every bit of her anger and frustration; I just had to make sure she knew I wasn’t giving up. She could hold out and be angry with me, as long as she was with me. I shifted on the bed and angled my body toward her more. “Jade, do you remember asking me why I wouldn’t let myself feel human? I thought pushing you away would be simple. But I was wrong—living without you is anything but simple. I don’t want to do it anymore.”
“But you don’t even know me, Emmett.” Those weak words were her last line of defense, and they were flimsy at best. She knew the length of time spent together didn’t define the depth of how well I knew her.
I locked my eyes on her and tucked a flyaway strand of hair behind her ear, where my hand lingered. I craved some kind of physical contact with her, and I knew she did too. My body had been drawn to hers since the instant my eyes found her.
“I know your face lights up when you talk about something you care deeply about. I know you love surprises. I know you’re as avid of a reader as you are a runner. I know you’re probably a bigger James Bond fan than I am. I know you eat peanut butter, banana, and honey sandwiches regularly. I know your warmth and brightness outshine the sun, and would light up even the most desolate corners of darkness. I know when everything around you gets to be too much, you look up to the stars and they seem to bring you peace. I know you are my own personal star, and not just any star—you’re the fucking sun; kissing you simultaneously brings a peace I’ve never felt and ignites feelings inside me I’ve never known existed. I know within hours of knowing you, you made me want to be a better man. I know I’ll never stop wanting to know more about you, what makes you happy, and even what doesn’t make you happy. And I know I want you to know everything about me as much as I want to know everything about you.”
She froze, and I wondered for a second if I’d given her too much too quickly, considering how shitty she was feeling right now. Slowly, her hand moved to cover mine where it rested on her cheek.
“Do you really want me to know everything about you? ‘Cause, you know, that would break your surface-deep rule,” she reminded me, searching my face for answers.
“Yes. For the first time in a long time, I want all my rules broken. In fact, for you, I’ll rewrite the fucking rules. For years, I’ve lived behind a wall, I’ve kept people at arm’s length, unwilling to open up about anything. But then you came barreling through and, after being monumentally stupid, I’m done keeping the wall up. I want to let you in so deeply you’re a part of my very soul,” I admitted, bringing her knuckles to my lips. “I know this is a lot for you to take in right now, considering you probably feel like the grim reaper is lurking at the door, but I need you to know I meant what I said about not going anywhere.”
She nodded slowly as a tear fell from her lashes. I leaned down and kissed it away. “For the record, I’m not done being mad at you,” she huffed through a grimace as she tried to cross her arms. I bit back a smile, glad at least some of her fight was coming back. “But I am tired of being here, and I don't feel like enduring a lecture from Dean right now about how to avoid this in the future. So, I guess you’re up, Boston.”
Five minutes after we pulled out of the hospital parking garage, Jade was leaning across the seat, dozing off against my shoulder. The sun was still asleep, but the sky was in its transitional phase, where the sun almost graces the stars with its presence. It was shifting from black to blue, and rays from the morning sun would soon be shoving their way over the horizon, just as the stars disappeared. A near-miss for the stars and the sun. Occasionally, when I had
a deadline to meet, or when something nagged at me until I couldn’t sleep, I’d get up in the middle of the night to head to the office and catch the sky like this—calm and peaceful—the in-between where anything is still possible for the day. For the most part over the last few years, the cynical, pessimistic side of me refused to acknowledge any remotely positive possibility for my days. I lived life without giving the beauty around me anything more than a passing glance, letting darkness dictate the terms my soul lived by.
Now, looking down at the stunning brunette curled up against me, whose brightness pulled my soul into the light alongside hers with each smile she sent my way, I couldn’t help but see the day from a totally different perspective. I knew she was in for a rough recovery today, but knowing she was going to let me be there with her meant I was able to shake off the pervasive cynicism that had plagued my mind and soul for so long.
I meant what I told her earlier—for the girl who pulled me into her light just by being, I wanted to strip away all the bullshit and throw all my rules out the window.
Chapter 13
Jade
Death probably hurt less than this. Every part of my body ached, including my eyelids. I was vaguely aware of being carried into a bedroom, but the world refused to stop spinning, and before I could blink, the comfort of a pillow top mattress made me surrender to slumber.
By the time I woke up, I had no idea how long I’d been asleep. Hours? Days? I remembered Emmett saying we were going to the apartment he stayed in when he’s working in New York, but I didn’t realize it would be more like the Ritz than a simple apartment. The windows had electric blinds, providing total darkness and making gauging the time an impossibility. I blinked a few times until my eyes adjusted to the darkness, then worked up the courage to sit up. Slowly. I had a distinct feeling moving too quickly would have disastrous results. Reaching out toward a nightstand, I found a piece of paper next to what felt like a remote, only all the buttons were covered with tape except one. I pressed the button and was greeted by a dim light from two matching sconces above the bed. After silently thanking God the light was dim, I picked up the note.
Jade,
I’m sorry I’m not sleeping next to you right now; something came up, but I’m just down the hall in the office, and I won’t be long. I’ll come crawl back in bed as soon as I can. If you need anything before I’m back, you can find me saved in your phone contacts.
-Emmett
P.S. - Even feeling like a “reincarnated zombie apocalypse victim,” you’re really fucking beautiful. Thought you should know.
After reading Emmett’s note, I found out the hard way even smiling was painful. My phone was on the nightstand, fully charged, next to a tall glass of water and two ibuprofens. A sticky note attached to the glass read, “Drink ALL of me.” I would’ve rolled my eyes at his bossiness if it wouldn’t have hurt. Ever the rule follower, I washed down the pills with all of the water.
The room was massive. To my left was a gray oversized arm chair situated in the middle of a nook with bay windows. To my right, a set of French doors presumably lead to a bathroom. In front of me, a gas fireplace filled the wall. A large mirror sat next to the fireplace. Examining the height of the mirror drew my eyes to the vaulted ceiling.
I picked up my phone and scrolled through my contacts, looking for Emmett, but he wasn’t in the Es. Confused, I started scrolling through from the beginning and stopped as soon as I got to the B section of my contacts. He’d programmed himself as ‘Boston the Sex God.’ How is it possible his cockiness is actually hot?
JADE:Somebody thinks pretty highly of himself.
BOSTON THE SEX GOD:Hey, if the shoe fits…Plus, I seem to recall somebody calling me a sex god. ;)
JADE:You can’t hold mid-sex comments against me!
BOSTON THE SEX GOD:I think I already did, Tiny.
I groaned and rolled my eyes, even though he wasn’t in the room to see. I knew just the right response to knock him down a notch or two.
JADE:Wait, this is Joe, right?
BOSTON THE SEX GOD:Careful, Jade—sounds like you’re asking for a repeat performance to jog your memory.
My stomach flipped at the thought, nausea be damned. Hell, yes! I felt like total shit, and yet, the memory of Emmett’s hands on my body, of him invading me in the best way, sent a bullet of desire straight to my core. Seconds later, I heard a deliciously familiar voice outside the door telling someone to hang on and he’d come check on me.
At the last second before he entered the room, I caught my reflection in the mirror and gasped at how awful I looked. My hair was matted, my dress was dirty and smelled even worse than it looked, and there was makeup caked onto my eyes and smeared around the edges, giving me a drugged out hooker look. I tugged the comforter up and over my head, effectively shielding me from Emmett’s view. I wanted to flatten myself into the mattress and disappear.
Soft footsteps sounded against the carpet and came to an abrupt stop next to the bed. Emmett was so close that sticking one hand out of my sheet burrito would put it somewhere in the vicinity of his crotch. Mm. Just the realization was enough to make my hand twitch.
The bed dipped as a large form gently sank into the mattress next to me. Slowly, the comforter was peeled back and a warm, heart-palpitations-inducing smile greeted me. “What’s with the Eskimo special? Are you cold?” Emmett asked, concern creeping into his voice as he moved to put the blanket back over me.
“No. I just…hate you seeing me like this,” I confessed slowly. I didn’t know where this sudden onslaught of trepidation and emotion was coming from. I’d just been texting Emmett like nothing was wrong, and now I couldn’t keep my shit together.
“Like what?”
I gestured to my head, then the rest of my body with shaky, heavy hands. “Dirty and gross. Miserable. Feeling like the world’s biggest moron. I keep replaying last night in my head, Emmett. I just don’t remember much of anything. I can’t believe I was so blindingly stupid last night.”
Before I could finish my last sentence, Emmett’s head was shaking so vehemently his short blonde locks bounced. “No. No, Jade. Listen to me,” he instructed, his hand gently stroking my tear-stained cheek. “What happened last night was, in no way whatsoever, your fault. Do you hear me?”
He continued when I only sniffed in response. “I mean it, Jade. Some people out there are just shitty human beings, and their sole mission in life is to destroy the lives of others. I hate that your path crossed with one of those people last night. But it was not your fault. I need you to tell me you understand,” he pleaded, tilting my chin up with the most tender, gentle touch I’d ever felt.
“Okay,” I agreed, though I wasn’t entirely convinced. On some level, I knew he was right, but the day-old makeup, the bandage on my knee, and the rat’s nest my hair were reminders, individual pieces to the puzzle of my stupidity.
Sharp, observant blue eyes followed my downcast eyes. “And as for the dirty and gross part—Jade, I meant what I said in my note. You could neglect your appearance for weeks and you’d still be painfully beautiful. That’s not changing because of some dirt and old makeup. I’ve got a solution, though, if you’re up for it. There’s a jetted tub in the bathroom, and it’s all yours. But first, there are a couple of people here to see you.”
My brows rose in confusion.
“Your brother and Jasmine are in the living room. Dean finally checked his phone after finishing work a few hours ago, and Jasmine caught a flight when Dean wouldn’t answer. I thought she was going to tear me apart to get to you. The girl is relentless. But, somehow, your brother was worse and seemed prepared to take on Harrison and me to get to you the second he stepped off the elevator. But Jas must have magical powers because she made him realize you needed to rest. Now they know you’re awake, though, so I’m afraid your time’s up, Tiny.”
Jasmine was in New York? Dean actually let someone talk him off the ledge? Next Emmett would probably tell me hell had frozen over.
“How long have I been out, a century?”
“It’s 1:30. You’ve been out since we got here a little after six this morning. If I had my way, you’d go back to sleep, but I have a feeling neither would go for that. Dean got here two hours ago, and Jasmine an hour, and both were perfectly fine to camp out while you slept.”
“I guess I shouldn’t expect anything less from them. They mean well, but…they’re kind of a lot to handle individually. I’m sure those two together, freaking out about me, wasn’t fun to deal with. Thank you, Emmett. For everything.” I nodded, biting my lip and trying to hold back yet another round of tears. When did my tear ducts turn into a freaking waterpark?
Dropping to his knees, Emmett scooped my hand into his and gently brought it to his lips. “Jade, I’d willingly let myself be locked in a room with a dozen loose scorpions for you. And I fucking hate scorpions,” he admitted with a grin. His free hand wove a path through his hair. “How much do you remember from the hospital?”
“Not a lot from before I woke up the last time before we left. I don’t even remember talking to Dr. White. I remember wondering if you were really there, then you coming in and holding my hand. Telling me you weren’t going anywhere,” I recounted, tentatively meeting his gaze.
He nodded. “I’m glad you remember that part, Tiny, but I’ll tell you again and again until the question in your eyes disappears. Jade Elizabeth Preston, I swear to you I’m done being stupid. I’m not going anywhere, and I plan on proving myself to you. And, yes, I know your middle name now.”
Oh my god. This man. His words had been smooth since the minute I met him, but the truth and the sincerity in everything he’d said since then made my bones melt. He turned me into a puddle of emotion, only I wasn’t even sure which emotion.
