by Rae Brooks
“Do you have any idea how dangerous that was? How did you keep up? ” he growled. His body shook with anger. Why would she follow him—knowing that he would be chased? Even if she was worried about Taeru, she ought to have known better. And to think, he had respected this woman!
The indignant expression on her face matched his own. They glared at one another, as if they had just insulted each other royally, for several moments. Then, she decided that he was worthy of her answer. “I was planning on leaving Telandus, regardless, sir! I had all my healing supplies gathered—we were just preparing to leave when the chaos broke out.” Her words were matter-of-fact.
Lee blinked. Perhaps he could still hold respect for this woman—though why would she be trying to leave Telandus? Unless… “We?” he asked after a moment. He jerked his head outside of the cottage to see the red-rimmed eyes of Alyx Amaral. Oh no. He was not emotionally equipped to deal with this. Would this girl be angry with Taeru?
“I was with Alyx. We were with Miss Lassau and Sir Firenz, but we got separated after…” Katt’s voice trailed off, and Lee gestured for her to cease talking at once. He didn’t need to see anymore tears than he already knew he was going to see.
Lee blinked. This meant that Aela was still inside the city, and he’d have to hope that she had sense enough to keep her head low. After all, things were going to get heated within the city—even if they did manage to restore order. “Well, come in,” he said sharply. Katt moved back to the horse, to his surprise. The bags on the horse caught his attention. “Wait—where did you get that horse?”
“I… I borrowed it,” Katt said shamefully. He smiled at that—alright, so he would definitely continue to respect this woman.
The horse was cream-colored, and it seemed passive enough. It was tied to the same post to which Lee had tied his. Katt slipped the bags off her stolen horse, and then her eyes met Lee’s again. He realized suddenly that these were the healing supplies she’d mentioned. “Oh!” he yelped. “Oh, you can help him!”
Katt’s eyes brightened, and Lee was sure that he was going to see a lot of tears. “You—you mean?” she asked weakly.
“Is he alright?” Alyx’s voice cut off his response, and the pain in it twisted Lee’s heart a little. She had seen her family die—and that was nothing that anyone should ever have to see. Lee bowed his head to her. He could see where she had already been crying.
She didn’t appear to hold any ill-will towards Taeru, though, which was a point in her favor. Lee stared at the blonde woman for a moment, wondering how she had escaped the same fate as the rest of her family. “He is alive,” Lee said softly.
“Let me see him!” Katt hurried into the house with her bags. Lee considered offering to take them, but she seemed so excited about the prospect of helping Taeru Lassau that every man in Telandus couldn’t have slowed her down. She disappeared into the back room, and Lee ushered Alyx into the cottage before he shut the door.
As they entered the back room, Katt was already assessing the work that Lee had done and undoing some of it. Lee bit his tongue, well aware that the healer’s apprentice would be a bigger asset than he had been in this matter. Alyx lunged forward, and she suddenly grabbed onto Taeru’s hand and slid to the floor. “Oh—oh!” Tears were flowing freely, and Lee found himself unsure what to do. Katt didn’t bother to attend to her. Alyx cried for another moment, and then she spoke. “Oh, I thought he was dead—I thought he was dead…”
“You are happy to see him, then? I was worried…” Lee’s voice trailed off, unsure of how he ought to speak his mind on the situation. He decided that it would be better not to and effectively silenced himself altogether.
Alyx stared at Lee, though her eyes were torn back to Taeru momentarily. “Happy? I—you don’t understand. Kilik, Taeru, whatever his name is… has done more for me… for… everyone I know... than… I could never blame him for what happened. I blame… everyone else, but not him—oh, never him. He tried so hard—he’s going to blame himself. I know he will!” She kissed the boy’s hand quickly. “I love you—please, please, don’t leave me. You’re all I have left.”
“Aleia was deceived originally, and just as the reader of this book, she will be deceived again.”
-A Hero’s Peace v.ii
Chapter lvii
Calis Tsrali
Calis tried not to worry that there were two horses outside of the small cottage. One was Lee’s, certainly, but the other was a cream-colored horse that he was sure he’d seen somewhere before. He frowned and tied his own horse to the post. He had just managed to lose the guards that had dared to follow him outside the gates of Telandus—the ones that still hadn’t been closed. But he was free of the men, now, and his body was moving so quickly that he could hardly keep up with it.
The longing for Taeru had grown until it was nearly consuming his entire body. His ability to function rested solely on the idea that he would see Taeru again. Nearly there, his entire world felt rooted to the singular house that contained the Cathalari prince. Please, be okay. He slammed into the door, though Lee had remembered to lock it, and Calis knocked with unnecessary force. “Lee!” he cried.
In a flash, the door opened, and Lee stood at it. His green eyes were relieved. Calis knew that the sun had already set, and he had taken longer than he’d wanted—but he couldn’t risk leading the men back to Taeru. “Where is he?” Calis choked.
“Katt Manali is here—she treated him,” Lee informed him and started back towards the second room in the cottage. He was still talking, but the moment Calis entered that room everything else vanished, including the two women there. All that mattered was the slight form prone on the bed of straw, a bed that was not nearly comfortable enough. Calis whimpered, moving forward. A blanket was over Taeru’s body, but his face was still exposed. Calis touched Taeru’s cheek gently. “I’m so sorry.” Taeru did look better, with all of the blood cleaned from his body. Though, that only meant that the actual injuries were more obvious.
His neck was covered in bruises, and there was one strange mark on it, bloody and swollen. Other cuts, a swollen lip—and this was only Taeru’s face. Oh, Calis wished he’d done more to Lavus—the bastard. Calis climbed onto the bed, bringing Taeru’s form into his lap so that the cover fell away and exposed some of the tended wounds. Calis’s lips were drawn to Taeru’s forehead then his temple. The broken form in his hands responded, and Taeru whispered his name. Calis’s eyes softened, and he pulled his injured lover closer to him.
He put his hand around Taeru, protectively, and brought his head down. His mind abandoned him, and he breathed in the scent that was Taeru. He kept his lips to Taeru’s temple, whispering soft words as they came into his mind. Soothing Taeru, or trying to, worked to soothe Calis as well. “He’s never going to forgive me,” Calis choked. “He’ll hate me. I shouldn’t be here—I shouldn’t.”
There was a soft hand on his shoulder, and Calis jerked to find Alyx staring into his eyes worriedly. Alyx—the one whose family had died. Then, Lee spoke to him. “You’re wrong,” he said quietly. “Taeru has been saying your name. You can hear him. When… before… in the castle… he called me before I walked away. I thought he was going to beg me to help him, and I knew I’d have to and… I just… but then, he told me to apologize to you—to say that he never meant to deceive you.”
Pain splintered through Calis at the words. “He blames himself… he… no, no, that’s even worse. Oh, Taeru—how could you? How…?” Calis cradled Taeru tighter, kissing him again. “I love you…”
Alyx inhaled. “He always—always… blames himself.”
“Taeru…” Calis whispered.
No one else spoke to him, and he remained like that for what felt like forever and yet no time at all. He knew, though, that it had been some time when Taeru’s face began to quiver. Breath released from Calis’s body as though he’d been holding it for an eternity.
His mind registered those around him. Katt had fallen asleep, Lee was nearly there, and even Alyx h
ad moved to sit against one of the walls in the cottage. Calis had barely known she was there. Then, though, Calis centered in on the small face that seemed to be coming around. “Taeru,” Calis whispered anxiously. “Can you hear me?”
This roused Lee and Alyx from their positions. However, Calis did not glance back at them. Instead, his eyes were glued to the face of the man in his arms. The injuries—the blood—the swelling—Calis’s entire world rested in something so fragile. Something that looked so weak—in that moment, and even knowing that Taeru was anything but weak, Calis had an overwhelming urge to take him in his arms and hold this little creature for the rest of his life. Never letting go. Taeru was so little, and yet he held so much significance—for the world but more so for Calis. Far more.
Finally—finally, after what felt like another eternity, Taeru opened his eyes. The blue irises were the only part of him that Lavus and Tareth had been unable to touch—infinite, pure blue. They were glazed for a moment, and then slowly, so slowly, they focused on Calis… and widened. “Calis!” he cried.
“Taeru,” Calis whispered. Calling him that still felt strange, despite that Calis’s mind had known the name for cycles. Gingerly, Calis raised his fingers to Taeru’s cheek, still cradling the young man’s body with his arms. “Oh… Taeru…” The tears were back, and Calis dropped his head, hair falling in front of his eyes.
Instantly, Taeru’s hand, the one that hadn’t been stabbed, came up to touch Calis’s face. “Y-you’re hurt! Calis, no…” The fingers moved to wipe a few of the tears from Calis’s eyes. “Your face—your face…”
No, no, Taeru… don’t talk about my pain. Not now.
The words startled Calis, and once again, his eyes found that fathomless expanse of blue. The fingers quivered against Calis’s cheek, and Calis jolted as he realized they were broken. His hand flew up to grab Taeru’s, easing it back down as he spoke. “No, Taeru—your fingers, don’t move too much.”
Panic welled in Taeru’s eyes, but only when the tears appeared there did Calis’s heart break into even more pieces. “Your hands! What happened? Why are they…?” Taeru choked on his words. He was truly concerning himself with Calis’s injuries. Then, at last, he spoke again. “Calis,” he whimpered again, “I-I… I wanted to see you… I—I’m so sorry. It was… I never meant to trick you. I didn’t.” He was crying.
Calis’s entire body trembled, desperate to stop this, wanting to find a way to ease Taeru’s mind eternally. “Hush!” Calis snapped. “What are you saying—you puerile, little fool! You are the one that is hurt!” Taeru froze, and his eyes widened at Calis’s tone. Calis made a mental note to calm his voice, and he tried to push his emotions out of it. “Taeru, you did nothing wrong. You couldn’t be expected to tell me. The fact that you did, even then, you trusted me so much—and look what I let happen to you! You should be angry with me! I should be sorry. I am sorry. I’m more sorry than you’ll ever know.”
Calis took a breath, but when Taeru tried to raise his hand to stop the words, Calis stopped him. “No! Listen!” he cried. “Look what happened to you! I promised myself, I promised you that I would protect you. And—just look!” Calis hadn’t known he had the capacity to cry as much as he had been recently. “They locked me in my room, and I sat there, every moment—miserable, thinking of nothing but you. Wanting, needing nothing but you. I love you—I told you I would love you, no matter what. I have waited two miserable cycles, knowing you were being beaten mercilessly for no reason—to tell you that. That I love you, and I’m sorry…”
“You… did nothing. I was the one that lied, Calis…” The voice was shaking, though, as if Taeru was trying to tear down a wall inside of him. “You fell in love with someone who doesn’t exist.”
A soft laugh escaped Calis. “No, no, he exists. He exists—but he just didn’t tell me his real name…”
“Don’t you understand?” Taeru jerked, coping with a wave of pain that seemed to be building and receding in waves. Calis whimpered in response. “I’m… I’m Taeru Lassa—what?” This time, Taeru’s hand got free, and his fingers touched the amulet still dangling from Calis’s neck. “Wh-why… why are you wearing my…? That… is…” His lips quivered again. “What?”
“It was all I had… I wanted to wear it. I’m sorry if you’re insulted, I’m obviously not a Lassau.”
Taeru shook his head to reconcile Calis’s worries, but there was a horrified expression in his eyes. He was remembering something, and Calis held him a little tighter. “I—I dreamed… I… you were wearing that… and then you…” His eyes widened, and the blood drained from his face. “C-Calis?”
Suddenly, Calis knew precisely what Taeru was remembering. He had still been awake for that first stab. He was just realizing that it had all happened, that he wasn’t in the hands of Lavus any longer. “I killed him,” Calis said softly. “I had to, Taeru, look what he did to you.”
“He—he was your father, and you…” Taeru’s head bowed, and suddenly sobs began to wrack his body, quiet, constant sobs. “I did this. It’s my fault.”
No, no, if Taeru got upset over Lavus’s death—then… Calis grit his teeth together. “Stop! That Magister—she preys on you because of this. Do you see none of the good you do? My father tortured you for no reason. You’ve been beaten because you protected the people of Dark District. Punished in ways that you should never have been punished. You left the comfort of your home to try and save people. Oh… I am in love with you. I acted because I am in love with you. I would fight an endless army for you. I love you, Taeru Lassau.” This seemed to jolt Taeru once more.
Taeru’s body trembled in pain. His mouth opened, as though he were trying to process everything, and then, he smiled. His smile reminded Calis what happiness was, what peace was—and his entire body felt it, all at once, destroying every other part of him. Love and happiness, coexisting and annihilating every other sensation. “I… never thought you’d say that. With my name. My real name, I… I’ve waited… I’ve dreamed of that.”
“Then, I will say it a hundred times every moment—and you still won’t have any idea how much I do. Because I have never known and believed something so thoroughly. I have never felt something so powerful.” The light in Taeru’s eyes, for a moment, Calis reveled in it. Reveled in it, because Calis knew that in a moment Taeru would try to hate himself again. But Calis wouldn’t let him. Calis loved Taeru too bloody much to let anyone hate him—especially himself.
Again, Taeru’s chin quivered. “You’re… so dramatic.”
Calis smiled. Very gingerly, Calis moved forward, pressing his lips against Taeru’s. The feeling was, again, completely satisfying, owning him entirely and subduing him. Taeru responded in kind, and the kiss became more impassioned. Calis had been trying to be careful, but Taeru seized his lips, pulling against Calis with a need that Calis had never felt from him before. Trying to make the movement easier for Taeru, Calis wrapped his hands around the smaller boy’s back—supporting him.
But passion seemed to resonate, growing, exploding, and grasping outwards. Unable to resist, Calis found himself drawn entirely to the lips holding his. His body felt weak, and all the need that had built up in his system was answered, and yet, it grew—needed more. His lips pressed against Taeru, returning the passion, and he felt Taeru’s tongue in his mouth. He still tasted unbelievable, despite the sweat and dirt—his mouth, his breath, was like a sweet nectar. Calis felt with his own tongue, and the ragged feeling alarmed him at once.
Reluctantly releasing his arousal and passion that threatened to become him, Calis pulled Taeru back. There was pain in Taeru’s eyes, and he cringed as though suffering some affliction. “Your mouth,” Katt was the one to speak. “Taeru…” she said.
To Calis’s surprise, Taeru flushed at the reproach. He brought his hand to his mouth, as though he had forgotten it. “What happened?” Calis asked gently. Slowly, he brought a hand up to touch Taeru’s lips—even that gesture sent an intoxicating synapse through his b
ody—a jolt of fire and ice electrifying him.
“N-nothing. Please, please, kiss me,” Taeru begged. “I want you. I want you to kiss me. I need this!” he cried. He moved forward, and Calis met his eyes with a soft castigation. Taeru’s lips pressed together, as if something very dear was being taken from him. Calis’s heart broke, and his desire reminded him that he wanted this too. Why fight it? Because Taeru was hurt—and his lover was incapable of understanding that!
Calis smiled, caressing Taeru’s cheek with his thumb. “And you deserve to be kissed, every sun and every moon, with every shift—every moment, but… my foolish, little Taeru, you have no interest in your own welfare, and to me—that happens to be quite important, in fact, I’ve come to realize that my entire life revolves around that, and you.” Taeru blushed, glaring away from Calis but then nodding reluctantly. “Tell me.”
Taeru glanced weakly away, but Katt came to his rescue, speaking first. “There was some sort of shard in his mouth, there are cuts riddling the inside of it.” Calis twitched, and Taeru grabbed onto him desperately.
“I ought to kill every one of them,” Calis growled.
“You’ve already killed most of them,” Lee reminded him deftly. Calis shot him a quick look and was surprised to find that he felt no anger.
Calis was amazed that the others had remained so quiet. Even Alyx had said nothing during the moment between Calis and Taeru, and Calis realized that he had scarcely been aware of the people around them until that moment. “Don’t… kill… anyone,” Taeru choked. The words sounded as though they caused him pain.
“I apologize, Taeru.” Though, Calis couldn’t bring himself to regret his actions. Taeru would never condone such activities, and Calis knew that—but he would not regret what he’d done to those men or his father. “I’m not responsible for my actions when you are involved.” He tried to choose his words carefully, knowing that an incorrect wording would bring Taeru’s guilt back.
