I felt fucking powerless, watching the pain ripple through her. Nothing more I could do but talk her through it and let her crush my hand.
I’d never be as strong as her.
Never.
“Drugs!” She said after the umpteenth contraction. The nurse had just returned after an hour to check her progress. She flipped up Jeannine’s gown, and her eyes widened. “Please,” Jeannine said. “I’ll take the drugs now.”
The nurse shook her head. “Sorry,” she said. “You’ve fast-tracked. You’re at a ten. There is no time.”
Jeannine whimpered.
“Isn’t there something we can give her?” I snapped, never letting go of her hand. “Something to help? Are you sure she’s at a ten? It’s only been an hour!”
The nurse shot me a look that screamed are you fucking kidding me?
I swallowed hard, flashing her an apologetic look.
She nodded and called the doctor.
Turning my focus to Jeannine, I smiled at her, gently stroking her forehead. “It’s almost over. You’re doing so amazing. And we’re about to meet our baby.”
“But it hurts!” She growled. “I feel like I’m being split open while on fire.”
I flinched, my heart breaking because I couldn’t take that pain from her. “No one is stronger than you,” I said. “You’ve got this. And it will be over soon.” I eyed the nurse, who nodded again as the doctor came inside.
“Okay,” she said, sitting on a rolling stool in front of Jeannine’s wide-open legs. “Looks like we only need a few good pushes. I can already see the head.”
My heart stopped and raced and then sputtered from the confusion.
I held onto Jeannine as much for support as she was me.
“Can you do that for me, Jeannine?” The doctor asked.
Jeannine nodded.
“Okay, try to push and hold it for twenty seconds.”
Another nod, and then she pushed.
My fierce, incredible woman pushed. A low groan rumbled from her chest, but she fucking rose to every challenge.
This one would not sway her.
“Perfect,” the doctor said, encouraging her to do another one.
Jeannine did, and I felt myself tensing with her, wishing I could give her all my strength.
“Almost there, Jeannine.” The doctor glanced up at her. “One more good one and we should be done.”
“Okay, okay.” She breathed through her words and then clenched her eyes shut.
The longest twenty seconds of my life.
Every fear and worry shot through my mind like knives of ice as I heard nothing but silence fill the room.
Then…
A tiny, little wail of a cry.
The breath rushed from my lungs.
The nurse helped Jeannine pull the top of her gown down, and the doctor rushed to place a small, dripping with goop, red ball of a baby against her bare chest. My jaw was unhinged as I watched the exchange. Watched as Jeannine let go of my hand to cradle our baby against her, tears streaming down her eyes.
“Hi baby,” she said. “It’s okay,” she cooed. “It’s okay.”
The nurse smiled at me as she shuffled around the pair, taking measurements, sucking gunk out of the baby’s nose, and handing me a pair of scissors to cut the cord. Every motion flew by in a haze as I could barely take my eyes off…
My daughter.
“We have a daughter.” My eyes coated with unshed tears.
“We do,” Jeannine said, smiling up at me.
She was so beautiful.
Both of them.
In the instant that the baby stopped wailing and looked at me, I knew.
I was no longer tethered to this world by my own accord.
A tiny, eight-pound little girl owned my soul with one look.
And she became the center of my universe.
Chapter 11
Jeanine
I laid the warm bundle that was my daughter in the bassinet next to our bed. Three days old and she was already an amazing sleeper, only waking up to eat. I knew from Bailey—who had too many sleepless nights to count from Ethan—that it was a godsend.
I tiptoed out of the room, closing the soft cotton robe around my swollen breasts. Breastfeeding had come naturally, but I was still getting used to the soreness. The nurses assured me the pain would lessen after a few weeks.
“Everything go okay?” Warren asked from his position perched on the edge of the couch. He was sorting laundry in front of his seventy-inch tv, which was on mute. I couldn’t believe how many burp rags and onesies and cloth diapers we’d gone through already, and it was only day three.
I smiled and sank on the couch beside him, only slightly flinching at the contact. I was healing perfectly and was certain by the end of the week I’d be back to normal. Or, as normal as I could be after pushing a baby through my vagina. I chuckled at that thought, shaking my head in my palms.
“What?” Warren asked, grinning as he folded another burp rag and placed it on his growing pile. “Something funny about a Shark folding baby clothes?”
I laughed harder at that, nodding. “Well, yes actually.” I reeled it in. “But I…I just can’t believe I’m a mom. It’s still sinking in, you know?”
He reached over and smoothed his hand down my back. “I know, but you’re so great at it.”
I snorted. “So far. It’s easy right now. All I have to do is be a cow on demand.”
He laughed. “There is way more to it than that,” he said, continuing to fold. “I wish you could see yourself through my eyes when you’re with her.” He shook his head, his eyes wide. “It’s incredible.”
“Me?” I gaped. “You!” I nudged his massive bicep, savoring the warmth from his body. “I never knew you had it in you.”
“Me either,” he admitted. “But I’m so glad. I’m just so damn happy, Nine.”
A thrill went through my overly exhausted body, waking my brain up like a shot of adrenaline. I leaned closer to him, nuzzling the stubble across his jaw. He set another onesie down and shifted on the couch the wrap his arms around me.
I tilted my chin upward, grazing my lips over his. He gently swiped his tongue against mine, and I sighed between his lips. Between giving birth and feedings and adjusting to my new instincts of being a mother, we hadn’t had much time for…this.
He fingered the strands of my hair, scraping his nails gently against my scalp. I practically purred as I pressed closer to him, wanting to feel his strong, solid body on mine.
“Warren,” I said, whispering between kisses that became more urgent. My heart raced, my tired body working overtime to keep up with the desire that sizzled my blood.
“Nine,” he said, smiling as he pulled back slightly.
“I know, I know,” I said, chiding myself. “I can’t help it.”
“Trust me, I can’t either,” he said. “How long do we have to wait again?”
“Six weeks.”
“Ouch.” He flinched but replaced the move with a comforting smile. “It’s good though,” he said. “You need to catch up on sleep anyway.”
I chuckled. “I do feel like I’ve been hit by a bus.”
He kissed me quickly before standing. He scooped me off the couch, cradling me to his chest. “How about I put you to bed,” he said, walking us quietly toward our room. “Then I’ll finish the laundry.”
“You are the perfect man,” I whispered against his neck, squeezing him tight.
He was near silent as he entered our room and gave the bassinet plenty of space as he walked around it. Laying me down, he tugged the covers over my body and kissed my forehead. “Sleep for the few hours you have before feeding time,” he whispered, holding back a laugh.
Thank you, I mouthed the words, my eyelids already half closed.
He smiled at me before walking toward the door. He paused by the bassinet, his gaze lingering on our daughter. My heart stuttered at the way he looked at her, at the life we’d created together. Th
e way he had pride and love and complete wonder in his eyes…it made my entire body feel complete.
He winked at me when he caught me looking at him, and I shut my heavy eyes as he softly closed the bedroom door behind him.
This was my new life.
One I’d never planned for, but one that seemed absolutely perfect for me.
The warm blanket of sleep wrapped around me, but it was only after listening to our baby’s breathing for a steady five minutes before I gave into exhaustion.
Chapter 12
Warren
“Katherine Kinley,” I said, sighing as I gently placed my forehead against my daughter’s. “You. Are. Killing. Me.”
Her little forehead had been in a permanent scowl as she’d wailed for the last hour. Nine had handed her to me twenty-minutes ago, in tears herself. I took my little girl, now three weeks old, and told Jeannine to go take a hot bubble bath.
With headphones.
I bounced Katherine against my chest, shushing as I reached for the bottle of breastmilk Nine had pumped earlier. Bringing it to her mouth, I tried to coax her into a little drink.
That brought about another shriek that made every muscle in my body tense up.
I loosed a long breath, returning the bottle to its original place on the kitchen counter.
“What do you want, baby girl?” I asked, my eyes grainy like I’d rolled them in sand. “We’ve walked all over the house. I’m bouncing. You don’t want to eat.” I spoke to her in a hushed, loving tone, never wanting my overwhelmed and animalistic default settings to show.
But I was fucking overwhelmed.
I’d never taken care of a plant before, let alone another human. And despite the click of instant love that happened when Katherine set her eyes on me…I didn’t have a clue how to be a dad.
Nine…she was a natural mother, regardless of her doubts and worries that she was doing everything wrong. I reassured her she wasn’t almost as much as I tried to get this baby to sleep.
But, despite not remembering my last solid four hours of sleep, or smelling like baby puke constantly, or having Nine snap at me for something I hadn’t even done…I was happy.
Genuinely, terrified, stupid happy.
Another high-pitched wail shocked all my nerve-endings, and I started swaying back and forth.
“Mama really needs you to stop crying,” I said. “She takes it all on herself. Thinks she’s not giving you what you need.” I blew a raspberry, trying literally anything to get her to listen. “And we both know that’s not true. So, what is it? Tell me, baby girl and I’ll give it to you.”
Not even a pause in her crying.
Just like her mother, she was going to make me work for it.
Make me figure out what she needed without her telling me.
I blew out a sigh, completely at a loss.
“Well,” I said, shaking my head. “I’ll just keep on holding you. Keep on waiting until you tell me what you need.”
So damn much like your mom.
We hadn’t had much time to talk the past few weeks—not about anything outside of cloth diapers, burp rags, daily poops, and feedings. I was working double time trying to stay on top of Nine, making sure she ate and slept and got some good alone time when she needed it. She was doing all the hard work. Up every few hours to feed Katherine, or pump so I could feed her.
Plus, she really was taking on every little thing Kat cried about like it was personal. Like she was lacking as a mother. I knew it had a ton to do with hormones—thanks to a frantic call I’d made to Bailey two weeks ago.
But also, I went out of my way to make sure she knew how amazing she was doing. All of this in addition to planning the final touches on the benefit she had coming up that was so important to her. I didn’t know another woman on the planet who could handle all that she currently was and still have stars in her eyes every time she looked at her daughter.
“You’re going to be just like your mother, aren’t you?” I said, whispering directly into Katherine’s ear so she could hear me over her wails. They quieted as she nestled her cheek against mine. I laughed and whispered again. “You’re so strong and fierce and a spitfire, just like her. Won’t give daddy an inch, will you?” Her cries stopped completely so I hurried on. “It’s okay. I love that about her. Love that about you. Don’t you ever let anyone tell you different, baby girl. You don’t give anyone an inch. Especially dumbass boys.” Her eyelids drooped, heavy and slow.
The idea that one day she’d have to deal with guys pawing at her…fuck, it was enough to drive me insane. Invest in guns and shovels and buy more property perfect for burying a body.
“It’s official,” I whispered and bounced my way to our bedroom. “You’ve already made daddy a little crazy.” I smiled as her eyes closed completely. “I love you,” I said, swaying for a few more minutes before I gently laid her in the bassinet in our room.
The three words had proven effortless to utter to her, but much harder to admit to her mother. Before I’d been terrified she’d bolt if I pushed too far too fast, but now…now she had so much on her plate I didn’t want to add more thing to it.
Besides, she had to know.
I showed her every day.
Confident Katherine was fully asleep, I tiptoed out of the room, shutting the door gently behind me.
Jeannine was in the kitchen, her soft black cotton robe wrapped around her, the ends of her long blond hair still wet from her bath. She opened and closed cabinets, a little louder than I’d like despite the bedroom being a good ways away.
“Shh,” I said, more teasing than demanding. “I just got her to sleep.”
“Good for you,” she snapped, still rummaging.
I swallowed hard, my brow furrowing.
“Did you not enjoy your bath?”
She huffed, shutting another cabinet. “I did.”
“Can I help you find something?”
“Sure,” she said, finally turning to face me, her arms crossed over her chest. “I thought I asked you to pick up some oatmeal. It’s good for my—”
“Milk production,” I cut her off, nodding as I walked to the cabinet opposite her. I pulled the container down. “Steel cut. Just like you like.” I sat it on the counter, raising my brows at her.
“Fucking hell you really are perfect,” she practically hissed the words.
“You want to tell me why you’re pissed at me?” I hadn’t slept in days, which cut my filter-to-mouth ratio short.
She smacked her hands on her thighs, the sound of her bare skin making me wonder if she’d slipped on anything underneath the robe.
My mouth watered at the thought of her naked beneath it.
Fucking caveman.
“You just...” she sighed, almost a growl. “You’re the one she wants. All the time. You’re the one who gets her to stop crying. To sleep. To do anything. All I’m good for is milk!” She motioned to her swollen breasts, and I bit down on my bottom lip to hide my smile. “Oh, no,” she snapped. “Don’t you dare fucking laugh! It’s not funny! I’m her mother. She’s supposed to love me too. Instead, she seems to only cry when I have her.” She sucked in a sharp breath. “She hates me. Just like I hated my mother.”
I cocked a brow at her, narrowing my gaze as I stalked toward her. She backed up until her ass hit the edge of the counter, and I caged her in with an arm on either side of her.
“She cried ninety percent of the time I held her just now,” I said, my voice low, primal. “It’s a fucking coin toss on who will be the one to hush her, to relax her enough to sleep. It has nothing to do with you or me.” I breathed her in, loving the way my body wash smelled on her skin. “But,” I continued. “If you need to take it out on me, then go ahead. I can take it. But don’t you dare take it out on yourself. Because you’re the best fucking mom I’ve ever seen, and I have a hell of a good one. So I’m an expert.”
Her palms flew over her face. “Oh my god, Warren,” she said through her fingers. “I’m losing
my fucking mind. I’m so sorry.”
I peeled her hands away, catching her gaze. “Oh, come on,” I said. “We both know you’ve always been a little crazy.”
Her eyes widened, and she smacked my chest, but a laugh ripped free from her mouth.
One of the sweetest sounds in the world.
I captured her hand against my chest, stroking the lines of her palm and down her wrist. Stepping so close there wasn’t a breath of space between us. “Better?” I asked, looking down at her, our bodies flush.
“Yes,” she said on a sigh. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be,” I said. “I’m a Shark, remember? I can handle you.”
“How could I forget?” Something hot and needy flashed through her eyes, and she shifted against me, purposely rolling her hips against mine.
A warm shudder raked down my spine. I slid my hand down the side of her arm, over the side of her swollen breast, and lower, to the hem of her robe that stopped just beneath her ass. Slipping my fingers underneath it, I growled.
“God damn, Nine,” I said, feeling the globe of her bare ass.
“What?” she teased. “I just got out of the bath.”
“And you couldn’t find a slip of fabric other than your robe?” I moved higher, massaging the small of her back.
She arched a brow at me. “I can go put something else on,” she said, stepping away like I’d let her go anywhere.
I caged her in, using both hands to latch onto that perfect ass of hers, hefting her against me. A smooth smile shaped her lips, her hands braced on my shoulders. “Oh,” she said, rocking her hips against me. “So, you do like me this way.”
“Love you this way,” I instantly corrected her, and it was the closest I’d come to actually telling her the truth.
Her eyes flashed wide before she slipped a calm, lusty mask over them. She reached up, grazing her lips over mine in a too light touch.
“Nine,” I growled, slipping my tongue between her lips, needing to taste her. “How many more weeks?”
She parted for me, opening her mouth to let me all the way in, and I claimed it in the way she loved. Hard and dominate, my fingers in her hair, arching her head back for a deeper angle.
Winger (Seattle Sharks Book 3) Page 12
