Cabin Fever

by Edie Bryant

  “Oh, god, I’m so sorry to hear that. I know how rough break-ups can be,” she said sympathetically.

  “You know what, it’s actually totally fine. It was my choice, and it had been a long time coming. I wasted way too much time trying to make that failed relationship work, and I’m totally happier now that I’m out of it.”

  She raised an eyebrow as we walked to the living room with our tea to sit.

  “Is that the whole truth?” she asked.

  I laughed. “Yeah, of course, why do you ask?”

  “Because, I mean, you did choose to come to this cabin, didn’t you? You must be upset on some level.”

  I sighed. “Yeah, I am, but, just… not about her. Not about the break-up. It was the right decision, and I’m glad I made it,” and that really was the truth.

  “So, what is it?” she asked.

  “I don’t know, I just… I guess I’m sad that I’m going to have to start over again. You know, I’m getting older every day, and I thought I’d be married by now. But I’m going to have to go through the whole process of awkward gay dating and trying to find someone that is even remotely compatible with me.”

  Emily rolled her eyes. “God, I know. It’s the worst, isn’t it? Having to choose from a smaller dating pool than everyone else. And everyone who knows anyone else who’s gay is always trying to set you up—”

  “Wait, are you gay?” I interrupted her, caught off-guard.

  She chuckled. “Yeah, of course, you couldn’t tell?”

  Okay, so she was gay, too. So, maybe I hadn’t misread that look she’d given me earlier. Maybe she really had been happy to hear I was gay…

  And maybe this was her way of flirting with me now. Letting me know she was also gay, and she was fair game. Was that what she was doing? Or just making conversation?

  I mean, it must have been flirting, right? If she had no interest in me and hadn’t wanted me to come onto her, wouldn’t she have just not told me she’s gay? I’m sure she realized I never would come onto her without a clear sign she wasn’t straight. So, if she had wanted to leave the romance alone for the night, she could have just left it at that.

  God, I need to not overanalyze this. I was going to drive myself crazy, and, besides, I didn’t need to be hooking up with this girl. I was fresh out of a breakup. I didn’t need to jump into sex right away.

  And, even if I hadn’t been just out of a relationship, I wasn’t really the kind of girl who hooked up. At least, not without dating. I liked to know things were going to go in a serious direction when I hooked up with a girl.

  I didn’t need some fling for the night who I’d have to say bye to in the morning. Hopefully that was not why she’d invited me to stay for the night, because that just wasn’t me. I get attached too easily, so it was best to stay away from sex with a girl I would likely never see again.

  I had stayed quiet a little too long while going over all this in my head, so I tried to compensate by quickly bringing my tea to my lips and taking a sip.

  But, unfortunately, in my nervousness, I completely ruined it. I jerked my hand up to my face too quickly and unwittingly poured a quarter of the piping hot water on my stomach. Which, of course, hurt like a motherfucker and caused me to drop my mug. It shattered on the ground as I started to flail my arms in frustration and pain.

  Yep, that was real smooth, real fucking casual.

  “Oh my god!” Emily jumped to her feet. “Are you okay, are-are you hurt?!”

  Without answering, I pulled my shirt above my head in order to tear it off. The hot water was soaked into it, and, the longer it was on me, the more it all started to burn.

  “Here, here, come with me!” Emily said quickly, grabbing my hand and dragging me back into the kitchen.

  She quickly grabbed a hand towel and turned on the sink, soaking the towel in cold water. Because of the snow outside, the pipes were running very cool, and when she pushed it against my reddened skin, the pain quickly calmed. It still stung, of course, but it wasn’t nearly as excruciating.

  “Oh, god, thank you,” I moaned, as she held the cloth to my stomach.

  “No problem,” she smiled, and I couldn’t help but notice how long she was staring at my stomach.

  While my skin had been burning, I hadn’t thought about it, but now that I was standing here in the kitchen, just in my bra and with Emily pressing a cold cloth to my stomach, I immediately felt the weight of the sexual tension between us.

  But, I wasn’t going to act on it. I couldn’t. I didn’t want to go there. It wasn’t going to make my heartbreak any easier with which to deal. If anything, it would only make things harder for me. I had to draw the line.

  “So, uh, maybe I should grab a new shirt?” I laughed awkwardly, as I took the cloth off my burned skin.

  “Oh, right! Yeah, go do that,” she sputtered. It was obvious, that’s not where she had been hoping this would lead.

  And I hated seeing her disappointment, but there wasn’t anything else I could do. For her, it would have been just a night of fun. But for me, it would have undoubtedly ended in more heartbreak, and I couldn’t handle that.

  I hurried back to my room and grabbed another long-sleeved shirt. And then I grabbed another sweater and piled it on top. Not that I was very cold or anything, but, I figured the more layers of clothes I had on, the less sexy it would be. Worth a shot, right?

  When I came back to the living room, Emily was sipping her tea again on the couch.

  “I was going to get you another cup, but then I realized maybe you wouldn’t want that right now,” she said, as I sat down.

  I laughed. “Yeah, no, I think I’m good off hot drinks for a while. Sorry about all that. That was… extremely embarrassing and totally not like me.”

  “Ah, so you’re not usually clumsy?” she asked.

  “No, not at—” I paused and then giggled. “Well, okay, no, actually that is exactly like me. I’m a pretty clumsy person.”

  “Yeah, I could sense that,” she grinned, “but no harm done. Not to me, anyway, I’m not sure about your torso.”

  I liked this girl. She was funny. While I was excited to be spending the rest of the night here, I found myself getting a little bummed out by the fact that I’d be leaving in the morning. She was really charismatic, and I was finding myself drawn to her.

  Which I didn’t really want to be. I didn’t need to be getting attached to a girl I’d never get to see again. I really needed to tone this down, keep things casual.

  “Hey, do you like Scrabble?” I asked.

  Me, personally, I hated Scrabble. Which is funny, because I think I have a decent vocabulary, but none of the words ever came to me when they were all scrambled on the board like that. I really hated the game.

  But it was the most boring, platonic thing I could think of, so that was what I suggested. The more boring, the better.

  She actually seemed excited by the idea, though. “Yeah, absolutely! Does your friend have that here?”

  “Yeah, I’m pretty sure. She keeps a bunch of board games in the closet. Let me go check.”

  Sure enough, she had Scrabble in there. Along with a bunch of games I considered way more interesting, but oh well. She seemed thrilled by the idea, so at least she’d have fun.

  Of course, despite my hatred of it, once things got started, it was actually kind of fun. Dammit, apparently, I couldn’t do anything with this girl without it being interesting.

  I was still as sucky as I always was, but we kept joking with every weird word we threw down. It turned from a normal game of Scrabble in to a game of coming up with the most outlandish, ridiculous words we could.

  At one point, I actually played the word ‘titanly,’ completely expecting her to call me out on it. Which she did.

  “Hey, that’s not a word!” she laughed when I finished putting the ‘y’ down.

  “What?! Of course it is!”

  She raised an eyebrow. “Oh, yeah, what does it mean?”

  I g
ave an awkward giggle. “Okay, uhh, you know what titan means, right?”

  “Titan as in Greek mythology, you mean?”

  “Yes, exactly! Those god-like Titans. Okay, so, that’s what it means. It’s an adjective to describe being titan-like.”

  “Titan-like?!”

  “Yeah!” I continued to defend it, both of us knowing it was completely bullshit. “It means ‘of the titans.’”

  We were both trying and failing not to bust up laughing at this point.

  “Okay, fine, you know what? I’m not going to challenge you on it. Even though it is very clearly not a fucking word, I’m so impressed with your on-the-spot definition that I’m okay with it.”

  I pretended to tip an invisible hat off my head. “Well, thank you very much,” I said, in my best Elvis Presley impersonation.

  I couldn’t believe how goofy I was allowing myself to be with this girl. Normally, I needed a few good drinks before I could let myself act this weird around someone. Or, I needed to have known them a really long time and be very comfortable with them.

  And, hell, sometimes not even then. I definitely hadn’t been this goofy around Sarah in years. Yet, here I was, being an absolute dork in front of this complete stranger. And it all felt so natural.

  She looked up at me with a twinkle in her eye and a slight smile.

  “What?” I asked.

  “Nothing…” she continued to smile. “Nothing at all.”

  But I knew that look. That look told me that this weird chemistry I was feeling with her wasn’t one-sided. For whatever reason, she was feeling a connection with me, too. It was undeniable at this point.

  Though, I’d really actually prefer to deny it. And I think I would, for as long as I possibly could. It’d be one thing to leave this cabin tomorrow trying to get over one girl. But two of them? I’d rather not do that to myself.

  “You’re funny, you know that?” Emily asked me.

  “You’re not terribly unfunny yourself,” I replied flirtatiously.

  Dammit, it’s like I just couldn’t help myself! And the worst part is that I’m not even a very flirty person naturally! Usually, I wait for other girls to flirt with me first.

  But, I don’t know, I was just too damn comfortable with this woman! My natural self was just shining through, and I didn’t think I could hold back even if I tried.

  “Okay, so, that’s the last of the letters,” Emily said, as she pulled two letters out after finishing her turn. “So, try to get as many letters off as you can.”

  And I did my best, but I really wasn’t very good at this game, and the board was pretty much full.

  “I don’t think I have another word in me. Do you?” I asked.

  “Not a one. So, let’s tally up the points? That’s how you finish up, right?”

  “Yeah….” I said slowly, as I thought, “but I think there’s something else to it… oh! Aren’t we supposed to add up the letters we have in our hand now and then subtract them from the total?”

  Emily snapped her fingers together. “Yep! That’s it! Right you are, my friend. Okay, hold on, I’ll count.”

  Her face screwed up in concentration as she began to add the numbers together. And I couldn’t help but think how adorable she looked when she was all focused like that. I mean really, truly very cute.

  No, not even cute, beyond cute. She was downright sexy like this. Fuck, how was I going to keep myself from falling into her bed tonight?

  There was only one option. I had to separate myself from all this. Walking away was the only way I was going to be able to keep myself from her because, let’s be honest, I just didn’t have any willpower.

  “Here, you count your points up,” she said, after writing down her score and handing me the pen.

  “Sure, okay, one sec.”

  I added them up as quickly as I could while thinking about what I was going to say to get out of the rest of this night without being rude.

  It was awkward enough to leave a social interaction when I actually wanted to, but it sucked even more when I didn’t want to leave!

  “Well, looks like you won,” I smiled.

  “In your face!” she joked. “Just kidding, good game, good game.”

  “Actually, it was!” I agreed. “I normally don’t like Scrabble.”

  “You don’t?” she asked. “So, why’d you suggest it?”

  Oh, dammit, I really fell into that one. I didn’t have a reasonable answer, and I couldn’t very well tell her that I’d done it to make hanging out with her more boring.

  “You know, I always try to give it another chance. It just usually doesn’t impress me. But this time, I really liked it.” Perfect, that was a good save, a smooth transition.

  “So did I. You’re really fun to hang out with. I gotta say, I’m actually thrilled that your friend made this mix-up. I was getting pretty bored out here by myself.”

  “Were you? I thought maybe I was imposing on your solitude. I mean, since obviously you booked a solitary mountain vacation and all.”

  “Actually, it wasn’t supposed to be solitary at all. I was going to have a friend come with me, but she got tied up with some personal stuff. But since it was a non-refundable trip, I decided I’d come up here anyway, try to have some fun by myself. But I was failing horribly, until you came along.”

  See, that made way more sense. The more I talked with her, the more extroverted she seemed. It hadn’t making sense to me why she’d want to do a vacation like this by herself, but this made a lot more sense.

  “I guess it worked out for the best, then! I actually really wanted to go hang out with my friend, rather than come to her cabin alone. But she was with her husband’s family.”

  “Well, that sounds kismet then, doesn’t it?”

  “It does,” I smiled, feeling myself getting sucked into her once more. Now we were talking about fate bringing us together in this cabin? Yikes, I needed to get out of here before I made some stupid decisions.

  “You know, I think I might just head up to bed,” I faked a yawn.

  “Oh, really?” she asked, clearly sounding very disappointed.

  “Yeah, I’m sorry, it’s just been such a long day. With the break-up and the four hour drive and all.”

  “Oh, right, of course. Yeah, that makes sense.”

  “This has been a fun night, really. Thanks so much for letting me stay here and everything.”

  “Oh, yeah, not a problem. It’s been fun for me, too, it really has. So, I guess I’ll see you in the morning, then?”

  “Definitely. Maybe we can have breakfast or something before I go?” I asked.

  “Sure, yeah, that sounds great. See you then.”

  I nodded as I hesitantly went to my room.

  I regretted every step I took.

  Seriously, why was I doing this? Obviously, I wanted to hang out with the girl. Obviously, I wanted to get to know her better. What was the harm, really?

  But I knew. The harm was that I would get to know her too well. And I am so prone to getting easily attached to people. It was better to stay away, it just was.

  Still, making a decision didn’t make the situation any easier. I lay in my bed quietly, knowing she was just a room away from me. It took everything I had not to just walk back out there, say I was feeling more awake, and continue to have a great time.

  Even as I’d been saying we could have breakfast together tomorrow, I’d been hoping she’d say I didn’t have to leave so soon. That I could intrude on her vacation more. I know it was a stupid thing to wish when I was literally sitting here avoiding her at all costs. But I couldn’t help myself.

  I guess it was a good thing she hadn’t said that. I may have had the willpower to walk into my room now, but I don’t know if I would have had the willpower to say no to a whole weekend with her.

  I could hear her cleaning our mugs in the kitchen, and it was driving me crazy. I decided it’d be best to just lie down and sleep. It was the only way to guarantee I wouldn’t
walk back out there.

  I wasn’t at all tired, but that wasn’t an issue. I was great at falling asleep. I was one of those people who could just lie down, and, ten minutes later, I’d be knocked out.

  So, that’s what I did. I got into my comfiest warm pajamas, buried myself in the covers, and watched a light bit of snow fall onto my windowsill. And slowly, I began to drift off.

  4

  Emily

  I’D BE LYING if I said I wasn’t extremely disappointed that Liz had gone off to sleep already. And I think she knew it, too. I was the kind of person that you could read like a book. All my emotions show on my face.

  It was annoying, but it was something I had learned to accept. I’d even managed to convince myself over the years that people being able to read me was not the worst thing in the world. It meant I didn’t have to explain my emotions myself.

  But, in this case, I wouldn’t really want to explain my disappointment, because it didn’t make that much sense. I mean, yeah, I was having fun with this girl, but I didn’t really know her. There was no reason I should want to hang out with her this badly.

  The only explanation was that I had a crush on her, which I definitely did. But I didn’t want her to know that. She obviously didn’t have one on me.

  I had thought for a minute there, maybe she did. We’d seemed to be really having fun, and I’d thought we’d been hitting it off quite well. But, maybe that was something I had imagined, because she had seemed perfectly fine walking away from spending more time with me.

  Maybe she had been being honest, though, maybe she really was tired. I couldn’t blame the girl for that. It did sound like she’d had one hell of a day.

  I should have told her that she didn’t need to leave in the morning if she didn’t want to, that way it would put the ball in her court a little more. Like, if she really was just tired but did want to spend more time with me, she was able to do that.

  But I couldn’t bring myself to suggest it, because I don’t handle rejection very well. I certainly didn’t want to deal with it while on vacation.

  Ah, well, no use worrying about it any longer. Even if she did leave in the morning and that was all there is to it, at least I got to spend one evening not by myself, right? And I’d still get to enjoy my vacation to a degree, I’m sure. I did feel recharged, now that I had spent time with another person, so that may make it easier to spend time alone.