by Dyan Chick
I hugged my knees to my chest. There was so much here that reminded me of those days locked in the center. The difference was my new companions were advocating for the lifestyle I left behind.
Goldie jumped off her bed and walked over to me. She plopped down next to me. "What's your story? You're not like the other heart-beaters I've met. You haven't even once asked about my skin or if I can give you eternal life."
I laughed.
She raised her eyebrows.
"Oh," I said. "You're serious? People ask you that?"
She nodded. "All. The. Time." She pulled her legs up under her and sat crossed-legged on the bed. "So, your story? Why are you here?"
"You don't know?"
"Nope. I'm not in the inner-circle. I was a maid before the curse. Nobody special. Honestly, if it weren't for the curse, I probably wouldn't be able to have a conversation with most of the beings on this train. Unless Brenon wanted to have sex with me, he wouldn't have given me the time of day."
I bristled at her words. I didn't like imagining Brenon having sex with anybody. The thought scared me. I had to stop thinking of him in any kind of romantic way. "I'm confused. They won't tell me anything. I mean, I know there was a curse, but that's pretty much it."
"Fair enough," Goldie said. "You tell me your story, and I'll tell you mine."
"Where should I begin?" I'd tell her everything if it meant getting a chance to find out what was really going on with the Rose Circus.
"Let's start with how you got here and work your way back."
"You didn't hear about the poker game?" I asked.
"Like I said, they don't tell me much. I'm honestly surprised they put you in here with me. Maybe Brenon does want to have sex with me." She shrugged.
My eyes widened and I felt the color drain from my face. Now I was really confused. I had no claim on the Ringmaster and I wasn't sure I wanted to, but her words made me feel like a jealous girlfriend. I didn't like it.
She leaned forward. "You do have a thing for him. Interesting. That, I had heard."
"What?" My voice came out in a high-pitched squeak. I felt like a middle school kid talking about her first crush. "No, it's not like that. He basically forced me to come with you guys. I'm only here for one year and only to pay off my brother's debt. Nothing else."
Goldie leaned closer. "You're going to have to be more convincing than that if you want to stay alive in the Rose Circus."
14
"I'm serious," I said. "I just want to go home." Crossing my arms over my chest, I narrowed my eyes at her.
Her face fell for a moment before she regained composure. Was she disappointed?
I shook the thought aside. Goldie seemed to want to talk. She reminded me of the girls I knew in high school who knew all of the details about everybody's life. I wondered if she knew more about what was going on then she let on. Something told me I wanted her on my side. "Why is that so hard to believe?"
"It's not like Brenan to show an interest in any one person. Especially a human. You're the first heart-beater that's ever gotten inside the circus on their own, and you’re the first one to travel with us," she said.
I put my hand up to stop her. "First, you have to tell me what a heart-beater is."
She laughed. "I've been with the circus so long, I forget what it was like to be human."
"You?" I looked at her dark hair, her shimmering skin, there was no way she was human.
"Most of the staff were nymphs or sprites, I was one of two humans working for the Fae king."
My eyes widened. King? This whole thing was so confusing. I let out a long breath, wondering what I had walked into by signing that contract.
Goldie tilted her head to the side. "You don't know that about him, do you?"
"At this point, just assume I don't know anything." Trying to keep track of how much I didn't know was wearing on me.
"Brenon, I mean, it's only been in the last few decades that we've even switched to using his first name. You Americans are so informal about those things. I first knew him as Your Majesty."
I wanted to be surprised, but at this point, the new information just left me feeling numb. Of course, he'd been a king. I was living in some sort of twisted fairy tale. If Brenon was the king, what did that make me? “Tell me what a heart-beater is.”
"Yeah, so when the curse was cast, we were all changed into these," she looked down at her hands, then back up at me, "creatures. Whatever we are. We're all different, but we have one thing in common."
Goldie picked up my hand and set my palm against her chest. I waited. Nothing happened.
I looked up at her. "No heartbeat."
She let go of my hand. "That's right. We stopped, frozen in time. That's why we're immortal, I suppose."
"So, what does that have to do with me staying alive?" I asked.
Goldie let out a long sigh. "The curse. Haven't you been paying attention?"
Frustrated, I covered my face with my hands and took a few breaths. I felt like I was running in circles. Every time the curse was mentioned, I felt like I ended up with less information than I had before. I dropped my hands to my lap. "I have no idea what any of this means."
"Listen." Goldie lowered her voice. "For all magic, there is an exit clause of sorts. This curse - can only be broken by a human."
"That's the big news?" I felt a bit let down. I wasn't particularly keen on the idea of helping to break a curse, but it would be a way of bringing reason to the equation. "Wouldn't that be a good thing? Wouldn't that explain why I was here?"
"If only it were that easy," Goldie said. "The thing is, most of the people on this train don't want the curse broken."
I opened my mouth to say something then closed it. This wasn't something my years of watching animated princess movies had prepared me for. Didn't the cursed kingdom want the curse broken? Wasn't the heroine supposed to be celebrated?
Then it hit me. If they didn't want the curse broken, that wasn't why I was here. There had to be another reason. "Why then? Why would he keep me here if not to break some curse?"
She shrugged. "Maybe he is just being nice. Usually, if somebody can't pay, he just kills them."
"What?" My palms dampened. After what Miles had done to me, I thought Brenon was the good guy. Turns out, maybe he wasn't any different from the guy who tried to kill me.
"It's a little different for us, though. We can't actually die. Just wake up a few hours later with a killer headache." She smiled. "He probably didn't know what to do with you."
I looked up at the ceiling, feeling overwhelmed. I was trapped on a train with immortal creatures that wanted to kill me because they worried I was going to break some curse they didn't want broken. How had I my life taken this turn? I was just trying to be a good sister.
I needed to prove to the people on this train that I wasn't here to break any curse. Then maybe they wouldn't feel threatened by me. "How is this curse supposed to be broken? If I can do the opposite, maybe..."
"I don't think that will work. The people who want to keep it here will do whatever it takes to stay cursed. Besides, none of us know. Well, expect Brenon and whoever cast the spell," Goldie said.
I hopped up from the bed. "I need to see him."
"Who, Brenon?" she asked. "What are you going to say?"
"I am going to demand some answers," I said.
A mischievous smile flashed across her gold lips. "I like you." She put her hands on her hips. "I could get in big trouble for taking you to his car."
"Please, Goldie."
"You're lucky," she said. "I don't care either way about the curse. There's nothing worse they can do to me than they already have."
I wanted to ask her, but her face hardened, and she turned away from me. She held open the door. "This way."
I followed her into the hallway. She opened the door at the end of the moving train car and the wind rushed at us, reminding me how fast we were moving. Though the door opened to the outside, the gap was sma
ll so walking across wasn't as tricky as I expected.
The next car looked identical to the one we had just left. A long, dark hallway lined with doors. We passed through quickly and continued the process through two more cars uninterrupted. The third transition took us to a large open car lined with benches and tables. As soon as we stepped through, dozens of eyes were staring at us.
My heart stopped when I saw a pair of horns over the crowd making their way toward me. I knew I looked like prey, frozen in headlights, staring at a hunter. The huge man scowled at me. "What'd you bring her here for?"
Goldie moved in front of me. "We're just passing through, Miles, we're not bothering anybody."
Miles, the horn-headed man, snorted. "It's bad enough we have to mingle with your kind. I'm not putting up with a heart-beater on this train."
The fur-covered man I'd seen the night before moved next to Miles and cracked his knuckles. "What do you reckon we do with her?"
"Brenon shut you down once already," Goldie said. "You want him to do it again?"
Miles leaned over and looked down at Goldie. He was easily two feet taller than her. "Boss isn't here to save her, is he?"
I heard a growl then a fur-covered hand was around my throat, knocking me to the ground. A cheer sounded from the onlookers. It wasn't difficult to tell which side of the curse this group was on.
Gasping for air, I clawed at the hand around my throat. I was staring into yellow eyes framed by brown fur. His upper lip was pulled back, revealing a mouth full of sharp teeth, including canines that could have belonged to a vampire. Black spots dotted my vision, I wasn't going to be able to hang on much longer. In pure desperation, I lifted both legs up, hoping to land a kick in a sensitive area.
My feet made contact with the creature and the hand moved from around my neck. I rolled over on to all fours, gasping and coughing as my vision cleared. Before I could stand up, a foot made contact with my stomach, knocking me on my back again. I covered my stomach with my arms and cried out in pain.
The fish-scale covered girl was staring down at me. "You stay away from us. We don't want the curse broken, understand?"
Tears were streaming down my face. "I don't want to break any curse. I don't even want to be here."
Her gaze softened and she stared at me for a moment.
Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed Miles coming toward me. I pulled myself into a ball and covered my head with my arms, bracing for the inevitable pain. I waited.
When nothing happened, I chanced moving my arms and looked up. The fish-girl had her arm in front of Miles.
"You mean that?" she asked.
I nodded.
She lowered her arm and glanced behind her, then turned back to me. "We'll be stopping to change tracks soon. If you're serious, we can get you off this train."
15
I rubbed my neck while I considered their words. I wanted off this train. I wanted to go back home. Back where things made sense. "He'll find me if I leave, won't he? And I signed that blank contract."
"I can take care of the contract, don't worry about it. He's not as powerful as he seems. We can buy you some time. Just don't go back to Chicago for a few weeks and you'll be fine," Miles said.
My mind began planning where I could go. Joe had offered to let me crash at his place. Ryder might have space on his floor. Either of those places would work for a few weeks.
"I doubt you'll get a better offer," Miles said.
I looked over at Goldie. She was glaring at Miles, but she hadn't objected.
"You aren't going to just throw me off the train, are you?" I asked. Part of me wondered if this was some trick to kill me off and I didn't trust any of them.
"We promise, you'll be safely let off the train when it stops," Fish-girl said.
I chewed on the inside of my cheek. It sounded too good to be true. As much as I was intrigued by Brenon, I knew he was dangerous. The unexpected attraction I felt for him wasn't enough to mask that. "You sure he won't come after me?"
The smell of cigarette smoke made me turn to look behind me. I saw the horse-man with his trademark smoke billowing around his face. He had my bag in his hands. "Here."
I took the bag from him, feeling a bit stunned. They wanted me gone, one way or another. If I stayed, I probably wouldn't live to see the end of this year-long venture. "What do I need to do?"
Miles' posture relaxed, and the whole room seemed to let out a breath. I didn't want to be the cause of so much trouble. And I hadn't come here to break curses. Especially curses that people didn't want broken. Whatever this was, bad trip, medical induced hallucination, real-life, I wanted out. I needed normal.
"This way," Miles said.
"Go ahead," Goldie said. "Good luck."
"Thanks." I smiled. It was nice to know there were at least a couple people on this train who didn't want to see me dead.
Miles led me through several train cars, moving so quickly, I had to almost run to keep up with him.
"Hurry up. It's almost time," he called back.
I picked up the pace again, clutching my bag in front of me so I could fit through the narrow hallway. Miles was almost too wide for the space. His shoulders seemed to brush against the walls as he walked.
As worried as I was about the repercussions of my escape, I felt a twinge of happiness. I hadn't spent much time at the Rose Circus, but it had been more than enough. Then, a wave of sadness rose inside me. I had so many unanswered questions and so many feelings that I didn't want to admit to myself about the mysterious Ringmaster. I shook my head. I didn't owe him anything.
We reached the end of a car and Miles stopped. "This is it. End of the line."
My heart pounded wildly in my chest and fear seized me. The train was still moving. I couldn't find my voice to speak. Should I run the other way? Was he going to throw me off after all?
Suddenly, the train lurched, causing me to slam into Miles. He caught me, then steadied me. "That's our queue."
He turned the handle, and the door hissed open. "There's a town about six miles north. You know how to find the North Star?"
"I was a Girl Scout. I'm good," I said.
"I have no idea what that is, but as long as you know." He turned sideways so I could squeeze past him to the door. "We'll buy you as much time as we can, but you shouldn't stay in town too long."
He pulled out a wad of cash and handed it to me. "Should be more than enough to get you on a train or plane or something. Just get away from here as fast as you can."
I wasn't sure what to say. I was grateful for his help, but he had broken my jaw and tried to kill me. Deciding I didn't want him as an enemy should we cross paths again, being diplomatic won over. I took the money from him. "Thank you."
He sighed. "You know, we're not all bad. You just don't belong here."
"Oh, I fully agree with you." Yet, as I stood there, freedom so close, part of me wondered what it would have been like to spend a year with the circus.
He smiled. "Don't make me push you."
I jumped down from the doorway onto gravel. Pain shot through my bare feet. Moving as quickly as I could, I darted across the rocks. Once safely away from the tracks, I opened my bag and pulled on my flip-flops. I hadn't had a lot of room for packing shoes, so they were all I had. At least it's something.
The train station wasn't meant for passengers. There wasn't a platform, only a building for workers and machines and other trains. I was able to get through quickly and find the main road. Pausing, I looked up for the north star. Good thing my Girl Scout troop had been super into camping. I made a mental note to call my old troop leader and thank her whenever I made it back to Chicago.
After walking for what I guessed was a mile, I still hadn't seen any signs of life. My stomach growled, and I wished I had some food and water with me.
Thunder sounded overhead.
"Of course," I yelled up into the starry sky. This had to have been the worst 48 hours of my life. A shudder ran through me. Ma
ybe not.
My mom's tear-streaked face and red eyes hovering above my hospital bed flashed through my memory. It had been the first thing I saw after I finally opened my eyes after the overdose. I remember choking on the tube in my throat, hearing the beeping of the machines. The look of pain and disappointment on my mother's face was enough to make me wish I had never woken up. I shook the memories away.
Lighting filled the sky, illuminating the grassy nothingness surrounding me. The hair on my arms stood on end.
Boom.
Thunder rolled through the sky. The storm was right on top of me. Lightning flashed again and panic rose inside me.
I was in the middle of nowhere. There wasn't any shelter in sight. You'd think there would at least be a gas station or something. I stopped walking. This must have been their plan all along. They didn't want me to get away and hide. They wanted me to get lost and starve or eaten or - BOOM.
Think. I looked around frantically for anywhere I could go to hide. Maybe a dried up creek bed or something? A bridge? Anything? Lighting flashed again. It seemed to be circling me. But that wasn't possible.
The thunder grew louder with each pass. I felt the hair on my head standing on end. As if I had rubbed a balloon over it. My breathing was rapid, I couldn't calm myself down.
The next lighting strike hit at the same time as the thunder. It was right on top of me. I had to move. It was my only hope. I pulled my bag's strap across my chest and swung my bag onto my back. Kicking off the flip flops, I picked them up and held them in my hands. Then, I ran.
Lighting filled the sky, striking a tree right next to the road. The tree split in half and fire spread up the trunk. My whole body trembled.
I turned around and ran the opposite direction, away from the burning tree. How long was this going to last?
