by Tyler Grey
“Jacob Coleman, what do you think you’re doing?”
I gave him an innocent look. Wide eyes and all. “Doing? I’m not doing anything, sir.”
“Come outside right now,” he said, and walked back out the class.
I gave a few of the guys some high fives as I walked out, and then joined Mr. Jenkins in the hall.
“Yeah?” I said. I was a little bit nervous now that it was just myself and the teacher, but again, I didn’t want anyone to know that, not even him.
“Excuse me? That’s no way to talk to a teacher. Listen, Jacob, this is really getting out of hand. I know that you think that just because you are taller than the other boys that you somehow have some control over them. But you don’t. One day you’re going to regret all the things that you did at school, and you’re going to wish that you could’ve been a different person. If you don’t change your ways now, you will end up being alone. I know that you’re not really this person. This is just some act that you’re doing to protect yourself, but it’s not right to pick on someone. It’s downright cruel.”
I shrugged. What did I care? I was alone anyway. It wasn’t like I could get any more alone. I’d rather be alone and in control. “Sorry, sir, I won’t do it again,” I said in a way that made it sound like I really would do it again.
He shook his head. “You’re going to regret this, Jacob. I’m very sad to see you like this. I really hope that you do one day change your ways before it’s too late. Now, please head straight over to the principal’s office.”
I groaned. “The principal? Why? I said I was sorry. Anyway, she deserved it. I was just sticking up for myself. I thought it was important to do that. Isn’t that what you always say?”
He laughed. “Jacob, you’ve got quite the mouth on you, but you’re not going to fool me. Of course you must stick up for yourself, but that’s not what you were doing, and Alice did not deserve what you said to her. Now, head over to the principal’s office, please. In fact, come on, I’m taking you there myself.”
I groaned. It was like being at home all over again. Oh well; at least I made the other kids laugh. Sometimes getting into trouble just elevated your status at school even more, and going to the principal’s office was just giving me more street cred than I already had.
Chapter 2
Alice
I sat there, looking at a spot on my desk, and trying not to cry. It wasn’t the first time that stupid Jacob boy had teased me, but it wasn’t nice that he did it in front of the whole class. I hated him for that. It was cruel, and embarrassing, and very unnecessary. The first time he’d called me a clown, I had gotten so angry at him, but I think I only made things worse for myself. I’d looked at myself long and hard in the mirror that night, trying to see what he saw. But my hair wasn’t even that red. It was brown, with a tint of red that you could only see when I was out in the sunlight. I’d always loved the color, but now I wasn’t so sure. I’d asked my mom if I could dye it and she’d gotten so angry at me.
“Why would you want to dye your beautiful hair?” she had asked.
“I don’t know…I just want it to be brown.”
“But it is!”
“There’s some red in it too.”
“Oh for goodness sake, Alice, your hair is brown. And even if it was red, it should be something that you are proud of. Now, what has made you say all of this? Did someone at school say something to you?”
I didn’t want her to know the reason. I was scared that she would march into school and demand to speak to Jacob. I couldn’t imagine being at the school after her doing something like that. “No reason.”
“Well, you need to be more appreciative of what you’ve got. You are a beautiful girl.”
I didn’t think I was beautiful. I thought I was ordinary and plain. But I also didn’t think I was a clown. And I wasn’t going to let some idiotic bully get the better of me. I wiped away my tears, annoyed that I had cried in the first place, and looked toward my friend, Laurie. She’d been the only person who hadn’t chanted with the rest of the class. I wasn’t sure that Jacob had seen her though, because I was sure that he would’ve simply turned his attention to her too. He hated it when anyone defied him. Laurie smiled at me.
“Jerk,” she mouthed.
I smiled. “Bully,” I said back.
The teacher took a long time coming back, and I assumed that he had taken Jacob to the principal. In a way, I wished that he hadn’t. The other kids somehow seemed to think that going to the principal was cool, and it would only make them like him more. When Mr. Jenkins finally got back, he called me out into the corridor with him. The rest of the class all seemed very happy with this, not because they cared about me, but because they were getting out of doing any work. They probably wanted the drama to carry on all through class. I avoided looking at any of them as I made my way outside.
“Are you okay?” Mr. Jenkins asked me.
I nodded. “I’m fine. He’s just a bully.”
“He certainly is, and I’ve made sure that he gets a good talking to in the principal’s office. I’m sorry that I wasn’t here earlier to prevent it from happening.”
“It’s okay. He would’ve done it another time then. I’m pretty used it now,” I said. It wasn’t entirely true. I wasn’t sure that anyone actually got used to being bullied. I’d also shed a few tears, so it was pretty clear that I still hated what was happening to me.
“Listen, Alice; you can’t let Jacob get in your head. He’s going to get what’s coming to him. I know it might not seem like it now, but he will one day. You have to be the bigger person here and not let it get to you. It’s not easy, I know that, and I know how cruel kids can be. But this will only make you stronger, and you are going to go on to do great things one day. I have a lot of faith in you, Alice. I’m not just saying that because of what just happened, either. I’m saying that because you’re one of my favorite students. You’re very smart, and I think that Jacob knows that. He’s intimidated by you, and this is the only way he knows how to deal with it. Now, are you going to be okay?”
I nodded. It was nice of Mr. Jenkins to say all that, but I wasn’t quite sure if things would ever be okay. I still had many years of school left to go, and if those years were going to be dominated by all the kids laughing at me, then they were going to be the longest years of my life. I didn’t want to say anything to him though. As a teacher, there was only so much that he could do. In fact, he could easily make this so much worse for me. “I’m going to be fine,” I said to him. “Thank you, Mr. Jenkins.”
Jacob didn’t come back to class, but I saw him later at lunchtime. He was sitting with a bunch of guys who all seemed to be hanging onto every word that he said. I wondered how many friends he actually had, though. People didn’t really seem to like him. They were just scared of him. Sometimes I actually felt sorry for him, but the feeling would pass quite quickly. I sat far away because I knew if he saw me, he would just continue where he had left off. It was highly unlikely that the trip to the principal’s office had made any difference.
Laurie walked over to me and took a seat beside me. I was so grateful to her. Ever since Jacob had chosen me as the source of his bullying, I had lost many friends. I couldn’t believe how many people had simply dropped me. They didn’t want to be associated with ‘the clown,’ and they didn’t want Jacob to bully them too. Part of me didn’t blame them, but part of me felt frustrated that they didn’t stick up for me. Was I not good enough? I supposed they weren’t friends at all, but it was a very hard pill to swallow. Laurie was the only one who hadn’t left me. I also knew that she never would. She had already proven to me that she was the sort of friend that stuck around. I loved it for it, and I wasn’t sure what I would’ve done without her.
“You shouldn’t sit here, you know,” I said to her as she took a seat beside me.
“Why not?”
“Because soon Jacob is going to turn on you. It seems he wants me to have no friends, and he’
s going to do everything in his power to get it. If you stay friends with me, he’ll just start making your life a misery too.”
She shrugged. “So what? At least it will take a bit of the pressure off you. We can be bullied together. I don’t care. I’d rather he bullies both of us than just you anyway.”
I looked at my friend and smiled. She was only saying that because she had no idea what it really felt like to be bullied. It was always easy to turn a blind eye to it when it wasn’t happening to you. “Trust me; it’s not fun. When it’s happening to you, it really is one of the worst things ever. I hate to admit it, but it really is horrible, Laurie. You don’t want to go through it, and I’ll feel so bad knowing that I’m the reason it’s happening to you.”
“Alice, there’s no way I’m leaving you. You’re my best friend, and you will always be my best friend. All those other girls are just spineless. I would hate to be like them. Okay, let’s say the roles were reversed. Would you leave me if Jacob was bullying me all the time?”
“Of course not! You’re my best friend. I would never leave you.”
She smiled. “Well, there you go then. Looks like we’re stuck together for life.”
I smiled back. “Thanks, Laurie. He really is such a jerk though. If Mr. Jenkins knew how much he’d been bullying me lately, he would be shocked. How long has this been going on for now? Weeks? Months? I have a feeling he’s never going to stop. He hates me.”
“Well, I hate him,” Laurie said. “He’s so gross, too. I don’t understand why everyone is so scared of him. Because he’s tall? That’s so stupid.”
“Yeah, it is stupid. Imagine supporting someone that is so mean, too. If we all stood together and went against him, he wouldn’t be quite as smug as he is now. That’s what I don’t understand. People are just letting this happen.”
“We won’t, though,” Laurie said with defiance. “We will always stick up for ourselves.”
I sighed. “Yeah, we will. It’s hard though, Laurie. I wouldn’t tell him this, or anyone else for that matter. But you’re my best friend, so I don’t mind telling you. It’s damn hard. I’ve cried myself to sleep on more than one occasion,” I admitted to her. Actually, in the past few weeks, I’d cried myself to sleep almost every night, but I didn’t want her to know quite how bad it was. She didn’t see all of the bullying; I didn’t tell her all of it, either.
“No, you mustn’t cry, Alice. I know it’s easier said than done, but don’t give him the satisfaction. He’s just a stupid boy with no brains in his head. One day you’re going to meet the man of your dreams, and he is going to be nothing like that.”
I nodded. “Oh yeah. If there is one thing I know for sure, it’s that I will never end up with a man like Jacob. One day I’m going to meet an amazing man. Someone who makes me laugh, not cry.”
“I agree, Alice. And he’s going to be amazing. Nothing at all like that weak boy.”
We chuckled and spent the rest of lunchtime talking about our dream man. We conjured up the most amazing man, who looked and acted nothing like the vile Jacob Coleman.
Chapter 3
Jacob
Thirteen years later
I woke up that morning drenched in sweat. I almost screamed, too. I’d had a horrible dream that I had lost my leg, and when I’d woken, I’d gasped with relief to feel them both there. Then it hit me. The truth. I might still have had both my legs, but my eyesight was gone. Gone. I was close to tears, but I’d never been much of a crier, and even now, when my whole life had changed, I couldn’t bring myself to shed those tears. They’d told me that I would feel better if I did. The nurse told me to let it all out. But I couldn’t. I supposed it would it hit me one day, and I’d find myself lying in a ball on my bed with tears streaming down my face, but for now, I couldn’t do it. I wouldn’t do it. I had to do what I always did; I had to pretend.
Leaving the hospital had been the worst part of the morning. I’d wanted to ask them if I could stay longer, but I knew that it would make no difference. I was never going to feel ready to leave that place. Leaving it meant going back into the real world, entering my old life, but nothing was ever going to be the same again. I couldn’t see anything anymore, and I was going to live on memories. How long would those last, though? All memories faded, and surely they faded even quicker without a constant reminder of what things looked like. The nurse told me that I would make new memories and that I would create new visions in my head based on my other senses. She tried to make the whole thing sound like some fantasy novel, where I’d gained these amazing abilities from losing my sight. I had tried not to get annoyed by her. I knew she was doing her job and only trying to make me feel better. It didn’t help, though. I didn’t want to create new memories based on my amazing sense of smell or touch. I wanted to see.
I could hear Hayden. He was talking to one of the nurses, and I could hear exactly what they were saying to one another. Maybe the nurse was right. Maybe my other senses really did get heightened, because I could clearly hear them talking and I knew they weren’t that close by. I tried to ignore the tones of pity in their voices.
“Jacob! Are you ready to go back into the real world?” Hayden asked. They’d sent him to come and get me, and I was glad for it. He was the only person who had truly understood what I was going through. He wasn’t blind, but he knew the sacrifices I made to be this way. He’d taken many chances too, but he’d been the lucky one.
“That depends,” I said. “Are you driving?” It was easier to joke about things.
“Ha! You might have lost your sight, but you haven’t lost your sense of humor. Yes, I’m driving, and I’m glad that you won’t be able to see or comment on my driving skills for a change.”
I heard the nurse gasp at Hayden’s words and I couldn’t help but chuckle. We were good friends, but this was the way we spoke to one another. I hated it when people skirted around the truth and were too afraid to laugh about it. Life was cruel. If you didn’t laugh, you were going to end up feeling very sorry for yourself most of the time.
“Well, I’m ready then. Nurse Harriet, thank you very much for everything that you did for me. Hopefully, you won’t see me anytime soon. I certainly won’t see you,” I said, and laughed at my own joke. “But Hayden here tells me that you are very pretty. Pity I missed out on that.”
The nurse giggled. “Oh, I’m certainly going to miss you. That’s for sure.”
“Is she blushing?” I asked Hayden. I could easily picture the look that Hayden would’ve given the nurse at my words.
“She’s blushing. I can’t believe you’re still making women blush even without your eyesight. You’re so annoying.”
I laughed. “What can I say? When you’ve got it, you’ve got it.” I could imagine the nurse telling the rest of the staff how brave I had been. How I had been joking about my blindness with my friend, and how I didn’t seem to be bothered by it in the slightest. It wasn’t true, though. I was bothered by it. I wasn’t sure I’d ever get over what had happened to me, and I was almost certain that I’d wake up every morning and pray that it hadn’t really happened.
“Okay, let’s get you up and out of here,” Hayden said as he reached for my arm.
On the way back, Hayden tried to explain the scenery to me, but I stopped him.
“Hayden, I know what the area looks like. I might have lost my sight, but I haven’t lost my memory. You can tell me if you see anything new, but I know everything that you’ve just described to me right now.”
He chuckled, but I could detect something else in his laugh. Embarrassment? I was sure that this was tough for him, too. Like me, he wouldn’t show it, though.
“You’re tough as nails, you know that?”
I sighed. “I’m not, really. This whole thing sucks big time. But I’m not going to let it slow me down. I can’t. I can’t let this change everything. I’m only 26. I have my whole life ahead of me. I’m also not the first person that this has happened to, so I know I’m not something
special.”
“Good for you, man. You know, the whole damn squad owes you their lives…”
“Stop,” I said. I wasn’t in the mood to talk about the navy, nor did I want to get into what had happened. I was here to move on and not to dwell on things that had happened in the past. “I don’t want to talk about it now. Honestly, Hayden, I just want to move on.”
“Yeah, fair enough. Okay, well, you’re home, and there’s a little someone who wants to see you. Or, not so little.”
I grinned. I knew exactly who he was talking about, and I was so glad that they had arranged for him to be there when I got back. I’d missed him so much. I waited patiently for Hayden to get me out of the car and walk me toward the house. The moment the door was open, I felt him jump up onto me. He was so big, he almost knocked me down.
I chuckled. “Tank! Oh, my boy, it’s so good to see you,” I said, and then laughed. “Or feel you. Whatever.”
I sat down and let Tank jump all over me. Tank was everything to me, and I wasn’t sure what I would do without him. If anything was going to make me cry, it was this. I etched his face into my memory, as I didn’t want to forget it. But how could I? He was the most beautiful dog in the world. He was a cream-colored Labrador with the face of an angel, and the excitement of a puppy. It didn’t matter how old he was; he continued to act like he was young, and I loved that about him. He made me feel young, too.
“Oh, Tank, I’ve missed you.”
“Looks like he’s missed you too,” Hayden.
“Thanks for making sure he was here. I would’ve hated coming home without him. Now, you really don’t have to hang around. I’m sure I’ll be fine on my own,” I said. I wasn’t really sure of that, but I was going to have to try. I couldn’t live the rest of my life with someone constantly doing things for me.
