by Tyler Grey
Chapter 19
Jacob
Alice arrived while I was getting ready in the bedroom. I heard her call my name out and I told her that I would be right there. Hayden had come by the night before to help me with an outfit, so I knew that I was going to look good. The one thing I hadn’t thought of was asking him how to do a tie. I felt like such an idiot. I had done a tie so many times in my life, and suddenly I felt like I couldn’t do it. Every time I put my hands over it, I could feel that something wasn’t right, so I would undo it and start all over. I took a deep breath and tried not to get annoyed with myself. It was easy to blame myself for things that were out of my control, but I had to tell myself not to be so impatient. Eventually, I knew I had to ask for help, so I made my way out to see Alice.
“Oh wow, you look great, Jacob,” she said.
I smiled. “So do you. I mean, I assume.”
She chuckled. “Thank you.”
“Uh, do you mind helping me with this tie? I can’t seem to get it right. It’s been driving me crazy for ages.”
“Of course I don’t mind,” she said as she walked up to me. “I happen to be very good at doing a tie.”
She walked up to me, and I could smell the sweetness of her perfume. Never before had any smell made me feel so weak at the knees. Her hands felt good against my neck too, and I realized it was the closest she had ever stood to me. I resisted the urge to reach out and touch her and waited for her to finish with bated breath.
“There, you’re all done. You scrub up well, Jacob.”
I laughed. “Oh yeah? Do I usually look like a mess? Is that your way of telling me?”
“You usually look good, but you’re usually casual. Which is not a bad thing, of course. I’ve never understood how some people can walk around wearing suits all day long. I mean, it’s nice for an occasion but not for everyday wear. If I could, I would wear pajamas all day.”
I grinned. “You do realize that you can, right? I mean, I wouldn’t even know. You could walk around like that all day here, and I would be none the wiser. You can tell me that you’re wearing your very best clothes and I’ll take your word for it.”
“Yeah, but I would have to walk out of my apartment, and I have very nosy neighbors.”
“So what? I think we all care far too much about outward appearances. If there’s anything losing my eyesight has taught me, it’s that there are far more important things in life. Imagine we all lived that way, not caring so much about what people thought of us. I think the world would be a better place for it. Anyway, who says you can’t wear pajamas for work?”
“Yeah, you’re right about that. Okay, maybe I’ll do just that, then. They’re great pajamas, too. I have one set with bacon and eggs all over it. They’re my breakfast pajamas.”
I laughed. “Are you all your pajamas food-related?” The thought of her in pajamas made me even weaker in the knees. It was amazing how vivid my image of her was even though I had never seen her. What was going on with me? Was I starting to fall for Alice? Surely not? I didn’t even know her. Although, lately it felt like she knew me better than anyone.
“Actually, most of them are food-related. I never thought about that. So, are you ready to go? Are we meeting Hayden there?” she asked.
“Yeah, we are. He’s bringing some new girl with him. He can’t stop talking about her. So your role for tonight is to let me know if she’s worthy of my best friend. I can tell a lot about someone without my sight, but you’ll be able to see if she looks at him in the way someone in love does. He has a tendency to fall for the wrong women, so I have to be on my guard. His last girlfriend was a complete nightmare.”
“I’ll be your eyes for tonight, and you can be my ears. Hey, a perfect match,” she said. “I mean…” she flustered.
“Like bacon and eggs,” I said, and we both laughed. A perfect match? Did Alice perhaps like me too? No, of course not. I was her boss. I was blind. I was not the sort of guy a young 25-year-old girl wanted to date. If I thought that, I was just going to be disappointed, and I was sick to death of being disappointed. “And yeah, let’s go.”
We made our way to the banquet hall, and Alice took me to my seat. On the way, a lot of people stopped to talk to me. They all seemed so nervous to be around me, and I could hear in the pitch of their voice that they were trying too hard. I wanted to ask all of them why they were being so nice to me when they had barely kept in touch, but I knew it wouldn’t do me any favors. Also, I didn’t want to get emotional in front of Alice. Thankfully, Hayden was at our table so at least I had him and Alice there to distract me from everything.
“Wow, Alice, you look amazing,” Hayden said. “This is Beatrice, by the way: my date for tonight. Beatrice, this is Alice, and this old man here is my best friend, Jacob.”
Beatrice’s hands clasped around mine, and I smiled. So many people seemed so awkward when they were introduced to me. The fact that she’d stepped forward to shake my hand had already given her a few points in my books.
“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Jacob. I’ve heard a lot about you.” Her voice was sweet but confident.
“Oh dear. Let me guess. He told you I was blind. I’m not, of course. I only do it for the free lunches he takes me on out of pity.”
She laughed. “Oh yeah? I might have to do the same. Sorry, Hayden; looks like I can’t see. Lunch on you tomorrow?”
I liked this girl, and as we sat down, Alice leaned over and whispered in my ear. “She’s great. She’s been sneaking glances at him when he isn’t watching.”
What was better was the way I felt when Alice whispered to me, but I didn’t say anything. I was feeling confused and upset suddenly. The thought of everyone around me made me feel strange. I could feel eyes on me. I didn’t have to see to know that everyone was looking at me with pity. I was angry that I was starting to feel something for a girl that would probably never be interested in me. I wanted to leave; I wanted to run away; I wanted to be anywhere but in that banquet hall. Of course, I never showed my feelings. I laughed and smiled when I knew it was appropriate and continued to shake hands with all those that came up to see me. I noticed that most of them said hello to me and then immediately told me that they had somewhere to be and that they would be back to see me soon. They had nowhere to be. They just didn’t know what to say to me.
Thankfully, the food arrived, and I got the chance for distraction. I told Alice that the food was nowhere near up to the standards I was now used to, and I told Beatrice all about the food that Alice made me every day. The conversation flowed, and I was grateful to have them all there with me. I was surprised at how easy it was for me to pretend when all I wanted was for the night to be over. I’d actually been looking forward to a night out with Alice, but the excitement had vanished now that I was there. I always knew it was going to be a bad idea and I wished I had just been honest with Hayden about it. The worst part was that I now needed to go to the bathroom, but I had no idea how to do it alone. It was easy at home, but here I felt completely lost. I couldn’t exactly ask Alice, either. That was taking it too far. Thankfully, Hayden somehow seemed to sense that something was wrong.
“Right, I need to steal Jacob for a bit,” he said. “There’s someone I wanted him to meet.”
I stood up and took his arm. “Who are we meeting?” I asked. The last thing I wanted to do was to go and meet any more people. I just wanted to get this night over with and to go home.
“Nobody. I figured you might need to go to the bathroom. I need to go myself.”
I sighed with relief. Hayden really was my best friend. Nobody else would’ve thought of something like that. “Thanks, man. I feel like such an idiot. Who doesn’t know how to go to the bathroom alone? I’ve been wanting to go for a while, but I didn’t want to ask you or make a fool of myself.”
He chuckled. “Come on; girls do it all the time. Why can’t we? It’s not a big deal. Anyway, I just wanted to know what you thought about Beatrice,” he said, and I knew he
was only trying to make me feel better. I was grateful for it, though. I would rather talk about Beatrice than talk about how I had to now rely on my best friend to go to the bathroom.
“Horrible. I don’t approve.”
“What? Are you serious?”
I laughed. “I’m just kidding. Of course I approve of her. She’s amazing. I like her. I liked her the moment I met her. It’s weird, Hayden, but I just get a sense about people. I feel when they’re genuine. She’s one of the good ones, and she seems to really like you. Alice also told me that she was great. She’s apparently been sneaking glances at you when you’re not watching.”
“She has? That’s good to know. Very good to know. I like her a lot.”
“Yeah, I can hear. And she definitely likes you too. This one is a keeper.”
“I’m glad you think so. I think so too.”
“Far better than some of your other girlfriends.”
He laughed. “I have to agree. I don’t know what I was thinking before.”
“You weren’t! That was the problem. At least, you weren’t thinking with your head. You had some pretty girls before, but not all that smart. Beatrice actually seems to have some brain cells. Are we really going to the bathroom together to talk about girls? I swear, we’ve lost our manhood somewhere.”
He laughed. “We’re here now. If you reach out, you’ll feel the handle. I’m happy to walk you to the bathroom, but that’s as far as I’ll go. The rest is up to you.”
I chuckled. “It’s good to know you have your limits.”
After the bathroom break, we headed back to the table. I felt a bit better now that I had gone to the bathroom, especially since Hayden had given me a word to use when I wanted to go again. It was helpful, although silly in a way. I knew that Alice or Beatrice wouldn’t care whether I simply said it out loud. Still, I wanted to retain some decency around them. Even if it was only to make myself feel better. For now, we had some speeches to listen to, so I sat back with my drink and listened. I was glad that the whole night was finally nearing an end. I couldn’t wait to go home. I would make some coffee and listen to some music with Tank. I was so busy thinking about what I was going to do when I got home that I almost didn’t hear my name being called out.
“And now, I’d like to please call up Jacob Coleman. Jacob, we’d like to present you with an award for bravery. Please make your way up to the stage to collect your prize.”
I froze on the spot as I heard my name. I hadn’t been expecting that, and I had no idea what to do. Not only did I not want to go up and be in the spotlight, but I didn’t want to walk there unaided. Tank was at home, and I didn’t want to embarrass myself by walking into things. I had my stick, but it wasn’t enough. I was only good at walking when I took my time and when I became familiar with a place. This was all too much too soon. Had they not thought about this when they had decided to call me up? They all knew I was blind. I felt angry, and I could sense everyone’s eyes glaring at me. Suddenly, Alice’s hand was on my arm.
“Don’t worry, I’ll take you there,” she said.
I nodded and stood up. I took her arm, and we walked slowly up the stage. Why did the stage have to be so far? Thankfully I was used to walking with Alice now, so I knew when to move and when to stop. She told me to take care when I reached the stairs. I got the award, shook hands, and then walked off to the sound of everyone clapping. I almost fell down the stairs, but thankfully I had Alice by my side to help me. It felt like the longest few minutes of my life. I could hear the pity in the room even though I couldn’t see their faces, and I felt angry that they were all looking at me in that way. I wished now more than ever that I hadn’t come to this stupid event. When we got back to the table, I whispered to her.
“Alice…”
“Yeah?” she asked, and I could hear that she had moved closer to hear me.
“Can we go home?” I asked.
“You want to go home? Is everything okay?” she asked with surprise.
“Please,” I said with a bit of urgency. “Everything is fine. Just tell Hayden I’m not feeling well, if you don’t mind. I think I just need to go home.”
“Of course.”
I heard her lean over to talk to Hayden. I wondered if he would stop me, but I was glad when he didn’t. I had a feeling he understood why I wanted to go home. Then she took my hand and led me out. I wondered if everyone was watching us, but I decided I didn’t care. I just didn’t want to be in that room anymore. It had been too much for me, and I could no longer pretend anymore. We didn’t say anything to each other in the car. Alice simply drove me home and then came inside with me. I was glad that she didn’t just drop me off and drive home. I didn’t want to be around anyone else but her. And Tank, of course, who had run up to jump on me. I laughed.
“I missed you too, my boy. Oh, dogs are so much better than humans most of the time.”
“Let me get him something to eat,” Alice said, and I listened as she poured food out into his bowl.
“He sounds happy,” I said as I heard him devouring the food. “Uh, I’m sorry about all of that, Alice. I didn’t mean to drag you out of there. I’m sorry I ended it so quickly.”
“Don’t be silly. I don’t mind at all. Anyway, we were there for most of it. Is everything okay, though? Did something happen or would you prefer not to talk about it?”
“I’d prefer not to talk about it, if you don’t mind.” I felt bad asking her to leave and then not even talking about it, but I really wanted to change the subject.
“Of course I don’t mind, but if you ever want to talk, I’m here.”
“Thank you. I appreciate that more than you know. There is one thing I’d like to do,” I said quickly, before I had the chance to stop myself.
“Of course. What’s that?”
My heart was pounding in my chest as I asked the question. “Could I put my hands on your face?”
“My face?”
“I…I just want to feel what you look like. Hayden has told me of course, but I want to get a sense of it myself. I mean…actually, never mind. What was I thinking?” I said as I suddenly realized what I was asking her. I felt so embarrassed. Had I really just asked her that? I’d been thinking about doing it for some time now, but I never thought I’d actually ask. Hearing it out loud made me regret it. I felt ashamed and embarrassed, and I wanted nothing more than to run away. I thought she was going to run out the room too, but she didn’t. Instead, I felt her moving closer to me.
“Of course you can,” she said, and before I knew what was happening she was in front of me, and I was lifting my hands up to her face.
Chapter 20
Alice
My heart was beating so loudly that I was sure Jacob could hear it. I was standing so close to him, his hands on my face. Nobody had ever felt my face that way before, and it was strangely intimate. I felt like he could see me better than anyone ever had before. He was seeing me with his heart rather than with his eyes.
“Hayden was right. You really are beautiful,” he said.
I smiled. “He said that?”
“Yes. I hope you don’t mind. It’s not that we go around talking about women or anything, but I was curious. He said you were very pretty in a very natural way.”
I chuckled. “Oh? Well, that’s always nice to hear.”
“You have a beautiful nose,” he said as his fingers moved over my face again. “And very full lips.” His finger moved along my lips, and a groan escaped me.
“Uh…sorry…” I said. “Well, that was embarrassing. You just…well, that just…” I didn’t know what to say. “That felt nice,” I finally admitted.
“It felt nice to me too. Alice…could I kiss you?”
Could Jacob Coleman kiss me? Every part of me wanted to say no. I should say no. Of course I should. If Laurie were to find out that I hadn’t said no, she would kill me. But Laurie wasn’t there, and I knew that there was no way I could turn him down. I gulped. “Yes, please,” I said i
nstead.
When Jacob’s lips touched mine, I felt a surge of ecstasy run through me. I’d been kissed by many men before, but not like this. Not with this much passion. His lips were soft against mine, his tongue expertly meeting mine. I knew that it wouldn’t matter who he was or what he had done to me. At that moment, I couldn’t think of anything else but the way he was making me feel. I felt like I had completely lost control, and I never again wanted to regain my composure.
His one hand was around my waist, the other moving up and down my back.
“This dress is amazing,” he said.
I smiled. “It’s dark green. Same color as my eyes.”
He smiled back. “I hope you don’t mind me being so forward, but you have a beautiful figure, Alice.”
I chuckled. “If you’re going to give me compliments like that, then please go ahead. If it makes you feel any better, I happen to think you’re one of the most attractive men I’ve ever seen in my life.” What was I saying? How could I say this to him? To this man that had hurt me so much? I couldn’t stop, though. I wasn’t lying. This was exactly how I felt. The moment I had seen him again I’d been torn by this irresistible urge for him, which I’d been fighting ever since. Could I sleep with him and then forget about him? I wasn’t sure. All I knew was that there was no way I would be able to walk away from him tonight. My body wouldn’t let me.
I pulled off my dress and my underwear, and kicked off my heels. Then I took his hand and placed it on my breasts. He moaned, and when I looked down, I could see that I had made him excited. This pleased me. This was exactly how I wanted him to feel. He teased at my breasts and then trailed his finger along my body. It was as if he was studying me, trying to memorize every part of me. He told me over and over again that I was beautiful, and I believed him.
He came back to my breasts, softly touching and caressing them, like he was envisioning their shape, their size. He held each breast in his hands like he was savoring the way my skin felt, and goosebumps broke out all over my body. I’d never felt anything like this before. He tipped one erect nipple into his mouth, licking and sucking until I could feel my own wetness beginning to give my attraction away. Slowly, he made his way down my soft, flat stomach, and I held my breath in anticipation as his fingers traveled towards my most sensitive parts.
