Chapter Seventeen
Esteban wanted time alone with his wife, and he wanted answers to the endless questions that had manifested in his mind on the return journey home. So after his parents enthusiastic welcome, he offered a reasonable and truthful excuse for Rosa and he to retire to their bedchamber.
“It was an exhausting journey and we need to rest,” Esteban said.
“I will see that Dolores has baths prepared and food sent to your quarters,” his mother said. “We will see you tomorrow after you have rested.”
They had barely entered the room when Dolores came in with several servants carrying a copper tub. She directed it to be placed before the fireplace and a fire to be lit.
“See to everything and then leave us,” Esteban ordered.
The servants worked fast filling the tub and bringing in a table and two chairs and covering the table with a white linen cloth, plates, platters of food and two decanters of wine.
Rosa watched them, waiting for the moment they would leave and her husband would turn to her and... do what?
When the door shut behind the last servant, Rosa stood where she was waiting, her stomach knotted with worry while tears struggled against her fragile constraint.
Esteban removed his shirt slowly all the while not taking his eyes off her. He tossed his shirt to a chair, and then went to the table and poured a glass of wine.
He held it out to Rosa.
She shook her head.
He took a sip. “You disobeyed me.”
Rosa remained silent, her focus on his bare chest and muscled arms. She wanted desperately to rest her head on his chest and have him wrap those powerful arms around her and hold her tight. Then she could pretend that he loved her, truly loved her, for at the moment she needed to know that she was loved.
He took another sip of wine before demanding, “Tell me, did you find a loving family to greet you with open arms?”
His words broke her crumbling control and she could no longer hold back her tears. They burst out in a torrent, rushing down her cheeks and she stood there, weeping uncontrollably.
Esteban let loose with a curse, slammed the wine glass on the table so hard that the stem broke, and rushed to his wife. He scooped her up in his arms and hurried to sit on the bed. He hugged her tight, her wet cheek pressed against his bare chest that continued to get soaked with her never-ending tears.
Her crying tore at his heart. He couldn’t bear to see her suffer. He took hold of her face, tears running down her cheek and brushed his lips over hers. “Don’t cry, Caro, you’re here with me now and everything will be all right.”
The strength of his arms, the brush of his lips, the endearment spoken with such heart all served to only make it seem that he loved her and it made her cry harder.
“Don’t, Caro, don’t,” he whispered kissing her softly.
But she couldn’t stop and she couldn’t stop from bearing her heart to him. “Why? Why is it so hard to find and hold onto love? I thought my family would love me as I would surely love them.” She shook her head. “How does a mother want her twin daughters dead?”
His brow knitted. Had he heard her right? “Your mother wanted you and your sister dead?”
“Gaby is not my true sister, my twin died when she was just a baby and the padres replaced her with Gaby.” Rosa heaved a heavy sigh.
“Easy, Caro, I am here. Tell me. I want to know everything.”
“My mother was a horrible woman. She plotted to have me and my twin killed shortly after we were born. If it hadn’t been for my true father taking us to California we would have been killed in Spain. My mother intended to finish what she started after arriving here. My true father tried to protect me and Gaby, but he was...” She shook her head, her tears still falling. “I don’t know if he survived his wound.”
“Don’t worry, we’ll find out,” he assured her, praying that the man survived and his wife would get to know her father.
“Men, my mother hired, took me and Gaby, though we struggled. They killed my mother and the man who claimed to love her. Gaby helped keep me strong and made a plan for us to escape. It didn’t work out as well as she had thought, but by then Raphael came to our rescue.”
He definitely owed Raphael and one day he would pay him back.
“Don Felipe, the man who thought he was my father, was a fool. He knew nothing of his wife’s deviousness or that she also planned on having him murdered while on their trip.” She shook her head again. “He didn’t even care about me. He only cared that I would do my duty as his daughter. Always duty... what of love?”
He felt a jolt to his heart and he knew at that moment that he loved his wife. He didn’t know how he knew or why he loved her, he just knew that he did and the realization astonished him. He had never thought he’d ever be capable of loving anyone. And yet here he sat knowing without a doubt that he loved this woman.
Admitting it to her was another matter, that might take time, but they had time. They had the rest of their lives together.
Since he couldn’t express what he felt with words, he did so through actions. He stood, with her in his arms, and carried her over to the tub. He eased her to her feet and then began to strip her gently. It didn’t surprise him that she submitted to his tending without protest. What choice did she have when she didn’t have an ounce of strength left?
He grew hard as he stripped away her clothes slowly revealing every part of her. He ached to harden her soft nipples with his tongue and to run his hands over every inch of her silky soft flesh.
He shook his head trying desperately to shake the enticing images away. Now was not the time. Rosa needed his help, his aching need would have to wait. Though he would have loved to have lingered in his task, he knew it was wiser to finish and get her in the water before it turned cold or before sanity failed him and he surrendered to his growing desire.
She sighed with pleasure as the warm water caressed her body and Esteban quickly turned away from her to collect himself, her soft sighs much too inviting. He had intended on washing her, but he realized it was not a wise idea. He’d never be able to stop himself from...
He heard the water splash and turned to look over his shoulder. He almost sighed with relief when he saw that his wife had scooped up the soap and was beginning to lather her hair. That was a task he could safely do... or so he thought.
He hunched down and took over scrubbing her hair, his strong fingers digging into her scalp and she sighed once again. It wasn’t only her sigh that affected him, it was seeing her now hard, wet nipples just waiting to be licked, nipped, suckled.
Esteban abruptly stopped scrubbing her hair and ordered, “Hurry and be done before the water grows cold.”
“How selfish of me enjoying the bath when you must wash too,” she said gently.
He wanted to kick himself. He hadn’t thought any such thing and yet he couldn’t correct her. He needed her out of that tub and dressed so that her naked body couldn’t tempt him anymore. Not that clothes would matter, her naked body was branded on his mind. Just the same, he hurried to fetch her nightgown.
When he turned around she was standing in front of the fire drying herself, the flickering flames casting a shadow of lights across her lovely body. He stood staring at the exquisite creature that had captured his heart so irrevocably.
She turned just a fraction and his eye caught sight of... he marched over to her, dropped the nightgown to the chair and startled her when his arm went around her waist and he turned her backside to the fire’s light. He ran his hand gently down her round bottom and stopped when he reached a dark spot.
“Who touched you?” he demanded, though he didn’t realize how harshly he spoke.
Rose was quick to answer feeling all too vulnerable naked beside him. “No one, I fell when struggling with the men and hit a rock.”
He squeezed his eyes shut for a moment annoyed with himself. The endless ride home had to have caused her pain but yet she had said nothing. Bu
t how could she have when he had warned her again and again not to say a word.
He spotted another bruise near her shoulder. How had he missed seeing these? He had been too intent on his own need to focus on her. He turned her around in his arms and took a step back to glance over her and see if he had missed any other injures she had suffered. He dropped down in front of her, his hand going to her knee where a large bruise began and his hand followed it up her leg along her thigh.
With a turn of his head, he was about to ask if it hurt when his eyes caught with the dark mound of hair between her legs. He stilled and took a deep breath, a mistake since his flared nostrils captured the fresh scent of her. Damn if he didn’t want to bury his face there and taste her until he made her cry out with pleasure.
He stood quickly, grabbed her nightgown and slipped it over her head and when she winced he cursed. He’d been rough in his hurry to cover her and she suffered for it. Damn his miserable soul or damn himself for growing so hard that he could think of nothing else but taking his wife to bed and making love to her all night.
He didn’t offer an apology. If he opened his mouth he just might kiss her, and then he wouldn’t stop. He turned his back on her before even dare saying, “Eat.” Then winced at his own word since he damn well ached to feast on her.
Whether it was wise to strip bare or not he didn’t care, he did so, needing to dunk himself in the tub water that had turned cold by now. To his relief, the water was cold enough to help somewhat and he immersed himself in it. What he didn’t count on was his wife standing beside the tub when he emerged, her naked body silhouetted beneath her nightgown by the fire’s light.
“You need hot water,” she said with such sincere concern that it squeezed at his heart, though didn’t temper his response.
“No, go eat,” he snapped and cringed as she turned and hurried to the table. He could see tears pooling in her eyes when she gave him a quick look after sitting, then turned away.
He mumbled several oaths directed all at himself and after a quick wash, he toweled himself dry and slipped into his robe that a servant had draped over a chair. He wanted to take his wife in his arms and... once again there would be no apology coming from his lips. He had been taught—no—he had been beaten anytime he had apologized after first being captured. Until he finally learned that he was never to apologize for anything he ever did. Old habits die hard as do memories of endless beatings.
He joined her at the table, her tears having been wiped away, though fresh ones lingered and she bravely fought them back. He poured himself a glass of wine and said, “Tell me more about your family, Gaby, and your father.”
She sighed and closed her eyes for a moment, as if what she was about to say was difficult, and it was. “My family proved no family at all. My mother cared only for herself and never wanted my twin sister and me from the beginning. She wanted us dead, but my true father had the courage to rescue us and bring us to California. To make certain no one would ever find us, he had us separated.” A tear slipped down her cheek. “My twin died when she was just a baby.”
Esteban said nothing, knowing she had to talk and he had to listen. And he wanted to, he wanted to know it all, everything she had been through.
“After all the years of being hunted, we were tracked to the mission and in the end my father, my true father, saved mine and Gaby’s life. I do hope he survived. I so want to get to know him. He seems such a good man.”
Esteban saw how exhausted she was and suggested they get some rest. “You can tell me more another time.”
Rosa didn’t argue, she eagerly climbed into bed, but was shocked when her husband wished her a good-night and walked into the next room. She sat up in bed and stared at the closed door. She could not believe he left her there to sleep alone. She had thought— no she wanted— him there beside her in bed. She wanted his strong arms around her, his warm body pressed to hers and why... why didn’t he seal their vows? What was wrong with her that he didn’t make love to her?
She dropped back on the bed suddenly too upset to sleep. She had missed him so very much while she was away. It made her realize that somehow she had fallen in love with her husband. She wasn’t sure how it had happened, it simply had, but wasn’t that the way of love? It struck in its own good time. And tonight when he had been so tender and caring with her, she had thought that perhaps he was beginning to have feelings for her.
He could have left the servants to care for her, but he hadn’t. He had seen to her care himself and had been so tender with her. He still issued orders and snapped now and then but how could anyone expect him to completely shed the renegade that was part of him now. It wasn’t fair of anyone to think he could simply return to who he had once been. It would take time to reclaim parts of who he once had been, as it would take her time to deal and heal with all she had just learned about her true family.
Memories of her true father being so badly wounded while trying to protect her and Gaby came unbidden. She quickly shut her eyes against the images and fought back tears that once again threatened to spill.
All she knew of her father was that he had risked his life and given up all he knew to save and protect his twin daughters. He had told her that he had cared for her and her sister on the ship that brought them to California and how much he had enjoyed his time with them. He had known that the only true way to keep them safe was to separate them and keep his distance in case anyone from Spain tracked him here. His unselfishness had saved them even at the very end.
She prayed that her father had survived and that they would get to know each other for she already loved the man who had given her life and saved her life.
Her eyes sprung open and she couldn’t stop the tears... she wept.
~~~
Esteban paced in his room. As tired as he was, he knew sleep would elude him tonight. Surprisingly, it wasn’t images of his wife naked that filled his head but the thought of all she had been through while in Los Angeles and all she had learned about her true family.
He wished he had been there with her. He should have been there with her. He was her husband and should have been there to ease this heavy burden for her. Instead he had showed up and swept her away without any knowledge of all she had endured. He had thought to protect her and he had only made it worse for her.
A sound interrupted his pacing and he paused to listen. It took only a moment for him to recognize it. He went to the door that separated their bedrooms, swung it open and his heart felt as if it broke when he heard his wife’s heartbreaking sobs. He hurried to the bed, shedding his robe along the way and slipped beneath the covers and took her in his arms.
He wrapped her close, laying his leg across hers to inch her even closer. Her slim arms went around him and she pressed her face against his chest and continued crying.
He kissed the top of her head, then whispered, “I’m here, Caro, I’m here and I’m not going anywhere.” She cried harder and he wondered if his words had upset her even more, but then she pressed harder against him and her arms tightened around him and he knew. She did want him there with her and he wanted to be there... always.
He knew the tears were necessary. They would help heal her and so he held her, stroked her back, and let her cry. He didn’t know how long she cried. He only knew when she stopped, her breathes coming in short spurts. Then he felt her body ease and was relieved that sleep had finally claimed her.
Shortly after, he fell asleep himself, though was woken often throughout the night by his wife’s fitful sleep. His hands stroked her gently and he reminded her in soft whispers that he was there with her. She calmed and once again slept peacefully.
It made him recall his own fretful sleep after he’d been captured. The worst part was waking the next day to discover that he truly was living a nightmare. He wouldn’t let that happen to Rosa. She would wake in his arms knowing she was safe.
Chapter Eighteen
Rosa snuggled in the warmth not wanting to leave it. It
felt much too wonderful and she felt much too content, more content than she had been in a long time. She shifted a bit to relieve the annoying pain in her shoulder and that’s when memories of yesterday returned. She had cried herself to sleep in her husband’s arms.
She raised her head to find him staring down at her.
“How are you feeling this morning?” he asked.
His concerned tone warmed her heart. “A bit sore.”
“I will make certain that you remain in bed and rest today.”
A tingle ran through her. Would he join her? Did she want him to? The tingle spread giving her the answer, though her heart had known the answer all along. It was just that she was nervous, unsure of how it would be between them. Would he treat her well or was there too much of a renegade in him still?
She wasn’t sure if it was relief or disappointment that struck her when he eased her away from him and slipped out of bed. She stared at him as he walked naked to the chair to retrieve his robe. He was powerfully built... everywhere. And it was when he turned, slipping into his robe, that she realized how hard he was, and the sight of him aroused with such passion, further aroused her own desire. So why was he leaving her? Why not stay and make love?
“I will see that breakfast is brought to you,” he said and walked to the door.
Rosa sat up staring at the closed door he had disappeared behind just as he had done last night. Why would he not make love to her? She almost laughed aloud at her own thought. She had first feared intimacy with her husband and now here she was aching for it. How strange, but then she had never expected to fall in love with him and yet she had... and it made all the difference.
~~~
Esteban dressed quickly and left his room, giving orders to a passing servant as to Rosa’s breakfast, and then left the hacienda. He couldn’t trust himself to remain near his wife or else he’d... he shook his head. He headed for the orchards to clear his head and ease his ache, though he wondered if that was possible. He wanted his wife with an intense passion that he had never known, and it worried him. It had been ingrained in him to claim his woman and damn if he didn’t want to claim Rosa. Just the thought of her on her knees and he driving into her with a force that would brand her his made him...
Renegade Love (Rancheros) Page 14
