by Kim Loraine
“That was before. Things have changed.” What do I have if I can’t have her? Just the thought of letting her go now makes a pit form in my stomach. “I’m not sure—”
“Don’t do that. Don’t tell me you’ve changed your mind. You and I aren’t really compatible. When you get back to your life, you’ll realize I don’t fit there.”
I pull her a little closer. “I think you fit perfectly.”
She smiles then, her whole face lighting up. “Really? I won’t be…what was it you called me? An ice princess who has less personality than a statue?”
Now I feel like complete prick. “Who told you that?”
“Waverly might’ve spilled that over a bottle of wine during our lunch after the engagement photos.”
Oh, that little snitch. I’m going to have her hide. “That was said in confidence and before you and I had become…intimate.”
“You mean, before you stole me away and took my virginity?”
I nuzzle her neck, trying hard to forget the truth in her words. I did exactly that. “I suppose you’re not such an ice princess.” I try for a teasing tone, but my words feel heavy.
She shrugs away and pushes out of my grasp. “Stop it. Stop being charming. I just need a minute without you in my head.”
I don’t know what to say to her. It’s not like I haven’t been honest with her. Sure, I wasn’t ready for marriage and babies and all that comes with a change so monumental. But now that she’s in my life, I can’t see myself with anyone else and I want it all—right now. “I’m not being charming.”
“You are. It’s always an act with you. How do I know you won’t go right back to your old habits when we leave here?”
I know she’s talking about my wild days spent drinking, in the company of the modern rakes of the nobility, but I’m beyond that. I have been for quite some time. Even the night out with my friends just the day before we came here, I’d been the tee-totaler. I’d come home early and planned for my getaway with her. I’m certain I’ll never hear the end of it from Kingston, my best mate. But her lack of faith in me makes me furious. I’ve done nothing but treat her like a queen while we were here, and I don’t know how to further prove my affection.
“Fine. If you don’t trust me by now, you never will. I’ll call Waverly and tell her we tried and failed. She was wrong.” It hurts just to say those words, but if that’s what she wants, that’s what I’ll give her.
“It’s not that I don’t trust you. It’s that I think you’ve forgotten who we are. We are fire and ice. Constantly damaging the other. Warring for control. That’s what this would be between us.”
“You’re wrong.” I rake a hand through my hair and sigh. “Have you ever seen the glass pieces in my mother’s office?” She shakes her head. “They’re made from sand struck by lightning. You and I are are lightning and sand. When we come together we make something beautiful and unique.”
“Please…don’t do this. I can’t be married to a man who doesn’t love me back.” Her words are tight, and there are tears in her eyes. Before I can stop her, she runs for the stairs. I stand back, letting her have the space she needs, but I’m more determined than ever to make her see she’s wrong.
It’s then her last statement hits me. She loves me. Fuck. My heart burns so bright with the truth I feel like it might explode. I send a quick text to Nick telling him to come for us, and head into the sitting room in search of last night’s discarded clothes. Then my phone rings.
“Hello?”
“Ryder, you’ve got to come back.” Waverly’s voice is tense, and I feel it in the pit of my stomach. Something is wrong.
“What is it?”
“Charlotte is back.”
Chapter 10
Gemma
We’ve been back from our fantasy getaway for two weeks, and I’ve barely spoken to Ryder. I haven’t been able to look him in the eye without feeling like I’m going to fall to pieces. Not after we returned and my father informed us that Charlotte was back to take on the duty of marrying Ryder. I’d hoped my prince would speak for us. Tell them that wouldn’t be happening, that he loved me, that I was more than just a notch in his bedpost. His continued silence is all the proof I need to tell me my feelings were misguided. We’re not meant for a life together, no matter how much I want it.
“And I was thinking white roses with ivy for the archway.” Her Majesty is speaking to my sister and I, but I’m barely listening. No one knows the depth of my pain, of my connection with Ryder. And now, I can never tell anyone. Instead I crane my neck and search for Ryder as Charlotte and I sit in the parlor with untouched tea and biscuits. My sister fiddles with the engagement ring I’d been wearing only a few weeks ago. It makes my chest ache to see that beautiful stone on her hand. “Gemma, dear, are you listening? Now that Charlotte has returned, we need to fit you for a bridesmaid gown.”
I snap my attention to her. “I’m sorry, ma’am. I’m afraid I’m a bit distracted today.” In fact, I’m a lot distracted. My period was due two days ago, and it hasn’t shown any sign of arriving. A churning takes hold in my belly. Is this how it’s going to be then? I’ll be the idiotic woman who let the prince seduce her and then was cast aside. I’ll carry his bastard child and live a life in disgrace. Nausea clutches my throat, and I excuse myself, rushing for the bathroom as a panic attack takes hold.
When the wave of sickness passes, I splash cold water on my face and stare at myself in the mirror. “Relax. You’re not pregnant, you’re just panicking.” My phone rings from the pocket of my blazer and like a desperate fool, I answer without looking at the caller, hoping it’s Ryder.
“Hello?”
“What in the world is wrong with you?” Charlotte hisses over the line. “I need you back here to help me deal with her.”
Since Charlotte returned, she’s been inundated with royal wedding duties, and she and the queen don’t see eye-to-eye on a great many things. “I’m sorry. I don’t feel well. I think I’ve come down with something.”
“Look, I came back to save you from marrying Ryder because I realized I couldn’t just leave you to pick up my mess. I need you to be here with me. Her Majesty likes you. She’s not so sure about me.”
“I’ll be back in a minute. I just need to splash some cold water on my face.”
“Good. I already had to excuse myself to call you, but I’m pretty sure if I don’t get back in there, she’s going to choose the band without me.”
Every decision they make sends a lance of pain through me, and the thought of a band, of music Charlotte and Ryder will share their first dance to makes me want to cry. I can’t stay here and watch him marry my sister. I won’t survive it.
When I return to the parlor my chest tightens at the sight of Ryder sitting across from his mother. He stands as I come into the room and his eyes meet mine. I feel nothing but crushing betrayal. I shouldn’t though. This was the plan from the start. I’m the one who got wrapped up in the possibility of the fairy tale.
“I’m so sorry, your Majesty. I’m feeling rather unwell at the moment.”
Ryder walks toward me, holding out a hand. “Allow me to walk you to your car.” The moment he touches me, I know I’ll never recover from losing him. “Are you all right? You look like you’re going to be sick.”
“I told you, I feel unwell.”
“Do you need me to make sure you get home all right?”
I shake my head, fighting the tears that want to spill. Everything is wrong, but the last thing I need is Ryder being sweet to me. “I’ll be fine. I just need a rest.”
He escorts me to my driver and opens the car door for me. “Gem?” he asks. I lock eyes with him. “It was lovely to see you. I’m sorry I’ve been…distant. I had a lot to think about.”
I nod and try to keep my expression from exposing my broken heart. “I understand. Goodbye, Ryder.”
If only he knew how final this farewell was going to be for us. Tonight I’m going to leave. I’ll catch a train
and escape from the country I’ve come to call home. Maybe someday I’ll be able to convince myself I could love someone other than His Royal Highness, Ryder Harrington, Prince of Corline.
Hours later I stand in front of my floor length mirror and stare at a woman I don’t recognize. I’m clad in an emerald green sweater with an off the shoulder neckline and black ankle length trousers. It’s something Ryder would love to see me in, but that’s not why I wore it. I’m starting a new life, and I need the extra confidence boost of knowing I look good. I push the thought of my prince out of my head and fuss with my hair once more before grabbing my black wool coat and leather gloves. My nausea is only a mild annoyance at the moment, and truthfully, that’s probably more to do with the circumstances rather than a possible pregnancy.
I don’t take a car, choosing instead to walk the three blocks to the train station with nothing but a small bag and my purse. Corline is a safe place, nothing dangerous happens in this small country. As I pull open the door to the small train station, I scan the arrivals and departures board. I can go anywhere. Absolutely anywhere.
The attendant looks at me expectantly, his brow furrowing with every passing minute. All I have to do is choose a destination. Choose a future. One that doesn’t include Ryder. Everything feels wrong about that. How can I live without the man I’ve fallen in love with? Does he even know I love him? Did I ever tell him directly?
“You know, I think I might have made a mistake,” I say, turning on my heels and starting for the door. But I’m brought up short by a wall of man, broad chested, tall, and perfect.
“You most certainly did. You made the worst mistake of your life not giving us a real chance, Gem.” Ryder’s large hands cup my face, forcing me to look into his eyes. “But I was the bigger idiot because I didn’t fight for us. And I didn’t tell you the truth.” Ryder’s face is pained as he looks down at me.
“And what’s the truth?”
“That I love you. I am so in love with you it hurts.”
My heart leaps, and I stare into his beautiful eyes. Eyes that have been haunting me for weeks. “You are?”
“Yes. I was an absolute fool to avoid the truth. I wouldn’t let myself see what was right in front of me all this time. You.”
I can’t contain my smile. He loves me. “I love you too.” I glance around and a sinking feeling takes hold as I catch sight of the paparazzi gathering in the doorway. “Oh, Ryder. What about Charlotte?”
He sighs. “Who do you think told me to come after you?”
What? I thought I’d hidden it so well. “She…”
“Gem, she loves you. When she realized you were running, she came to me and asked what I’d done to you.”
I look back at Ryder and a wave of absolute love passes over me. “She did?”
He takes my hand and slides the engagement ring on my finger. “I won’t marry anyone but you.”
“What?”
“I’ve already spoken to our families. It’s what I should’ve done as soon as Charlotte came back, but I thought…fuck, Gemma, I thought you’d be better off with someone who could love you.” He leans in and whispers in my ear, “But I wasn’t being honest with myself. You’re the only one for me. I thought I couldn’t love anyone, but the truth is, I couldn’t love anyone but you.”
Tears spring to my eyes, and I fall into his arms. “I can’t explain how happy this makes me.”
“So, can we stop dancing around this and get married? I want you to be my wife. My forever.”
“Yes. I want to be yours in every way.” He kisses me then, long and deep, and my world rights itself. I found my prince charming, but he was never hiding. Ryder was there all along, I just needed to open my eyes.
Epilogue
Ryder
About nine months later
“You can do this, Gem. Just one more push and our little prince will be here.” Gemma’s hand nearly crushes mine as she bears down and groans. The midwife is far too calm, and I wonder, not for the first time, if she’s on some kind of drug to keep her relaxed. My heart is attempting to burst from my chest and with every pained noise from my wife, my anxiety grows.
“Almost there,” the midwife says. “Just a few more pushes.”
Gemma cuts me a vicious glare. “You said one more,” she spits. “Typical. Everything’s easy for you. Meanwhile, here I am, pushing your gigantic child out of my body.”
“Ah, there’s the fire I love so much.” I can’t keep from teasing her.
“You said I was the ice.”
“I think I was wrong. You’re the lighting, darling.”
She starts to say something but another contraction rips through her and her words turn to low groans.
“Here we are, love. One big push. I can see the head.”
Then the world around me goes silent as I watch our son enter the world, his flaming red hair matching the fiery temper he’s already displaying. He screams bloody murder until he’s placed on Gemma’s chest and finds her breast.
“That’s one healthy set of lungs,” the midwife observes. “Congratulations your Majesties. He’s a beautiful boy.” She offers a curtsey and returns to tending to Gemma, fading into the background of the world that has completely changed now that I’m a father.
“Darling, you did so wonderfully. He’s perfect.” I can’t keep the emotion out of my voice as I stare down at my family. Gemma is my entire world, and now it’s gotten a little bigger because this baby is part of it.
“I did do great, didn’t I? Look what we made. I’m so glad we were such reckless idiots who couldn’t be bothered to use a condom.”
I laugh, thinking of the moment we discovered Gemma was pregnant. One time, that’s all it had taken. I have to think it was fate solidifying our future. “Me too.” Stroking our son’s little face, I take in his features. “He’s got your ears.”
“And your toes.” She reaches down to his long baby toes and plays with them. “Poor little man.”
“Hey, these toes have served me well.”
“I’m quite fond of them.”
“What shall we call the new prince of Corline?” We talked about names, of course, but I’d convinced her we needed to wait until he arrived before we truly dubbed him with a permanent name.
“You mean aside from His Royal Highness, Frederick George Ryder Harrington VII, Prince of Corline?”
“Yes. God, yes. There have been far too many of us. Let’s call him Nathaniel.”
She smiles. “Your father would be so happy. I’m only sorry he can’t be here to meet him.” Then she kisses our son on the top of his head, and a tear falls from her eye. “Nathaniel, it is.”
My chest squeezes at the thought of my father. He’d lost his battle with cancer only a few weeks after our wedding, making me King. It’s a responsibility I was terrified to face, but with Gemma by my side, I know I can take on anything. She’s my strength, my everything, and I’m never letting her go.
Gemma
Two years later
“Are you sure you’re ready to go on holiday?” Ryder asks.
I look at our sleeping toddler and the babbling baby in her crib. “Yes. Imogen is nearly a year old, and we’ll only be gone one night. It’ll be fine to leave her with Nanny.” I drop a kiss on Dylan’s forehead then press one to my fingertips and brush them over Gen’s cheek. Then, the two of us head out to the waiting car.
After the last two years of no sleep and breastfeeding, I’m quite ready for a break. I’d shunned the tradition of having a full-time nanny care for the children while I spent time with them only when they were behaving. Instead, Ryder and I jumped in with both feet and parented our children as though they weren’t royals. We only use Nanny for our weekly date nights. We’ve even got a trip to Disney World planned for two years from now. Fanny packs and all.
“I can’t wait to get you back to the chalet. You know, maybe this time we can actually ski.”
I laugh because he knows he’s never going to see me on
a pair of skis. And if he knows what’s good for him, he’ll shut up about it. “I thought you’d much rather see me on my knees with your cock in my mouth.”
His jaw goes lax, and Nick gives a slight cough. I’d forgotten he was there. My cheeks burn, and I’m sure my face is the same color as my hair. But when Ryder leans down and whispers, “I’ll have to punish you for that, princess,” my pussy tightens, and, I swear to God, if I was wearing knickers, they’d be soaked. I love it when he calls me princess.
“Promise?”
We slide into the back seat of the Land Rover and head for our sanctuary. Four hours passes in the blink of an eye with Ryder’s arms around me. The chalet where both of our babies were made, where we fell in love, and where we’ll continue to make memories stands the same as it always has, a picturesque home cut into the side of a mountain. The snow is heavy and falling hard as we walk inside.
“What shall we do first?”
Ryder shrugs. “Well, I’ve been promised by an ice princess that my cock is going to be sucked, and I intend to take her up on it.”
“Oh, it’s like that, is it?” I can’t help but laugh. My body might be fuller, softer, after two children back to back, but Ryder only seems to want me more with each pregnancy. “Better be careful. I’m a queen now, and this ice queen will freeze your dick right off.”
“You wouldn’t. You love it too much. And how else are we supposed to make our army of kids? I plan to put number three in your belly tonight.”
“Oh, really? That’s news to me. I suppose I’ll just have to let you warm me up.” The thought of him putting a baby in me tonight does something to my body. I always want him, but when he talks like that, I get all flustered and aroused beyond measure.
“Yes, really. And I’m planning on doing all sorts of things to you tonight.”
If he’s trying to work me up, he’s succeeding. “Are you going to tie me up?”
