Isobel noticed that Melissa was distracted by something. She followed the direction of Melissa’s gaze and noted that Melissa was looking over at the other side of the room, at her new husband, Victor. Isobel wondered whether she would be so in love when she married. She hoped she would be, but she had never known what love was. She loved her familye and her animals, but she knew the love of a mann would be a far different thing and she ached to know what that was like. Seeing the look in Melissa’s eyes whenever she talked about Victor gave Isobel an inkling of what it would feel like to be in love. It must feel dreamy, comforting, and happy all at the same time, she thought. Just like I feel about the detective.
With that thought, Isobel jumped in her seat, so strongly that Melissa turned to her and raised her eyebrows.
Isobel was aghast, and forced herself to take her mind off love and to turn her attention to what the minister was saying about forgiveness. She realized it would be easy to forgive someone for a small transgression or some type of injustice, but how was Mrs. Harrison to forgive the person who murdered her husband? Just as that question popped into her head, the minister unknowingly answered it with his next words. "We use Gott’s strength and not our own." Isobel wondered how one would go about using Gott’s strength. It sounded gut in theory, but it seemed as though it would be much, much harder to do in real life.
When the minister finished, another minister spoke and then the bishop delivered the long sermon. Finally, a long prayer was said by Thomas Wyler.
After the church meeting had come to an end, the people moved to the side to enable the men to erect the long trestle tables for the after meal.
“That was gut today, wasn’t it?” Melissa asked.
Isobel agreed, but wondered if Melissa had actually been listening or whether she was too busy looking at her new, handsome husband.
Jakob hurried over. "Isobel, I’ll drive you to the Singing tonight."
Isabel bristled. Why didn't Jakob ever ask her instead of telling her? "Nee, Jakob. Denki, but I don’t want to go to the Singing tonight."
Jakob's cheeks puffed and his face reddened. "Isobel, can I have a word with you in private?"
Before she could answer, he took her elbow and moved her away from Melissa.
Isobel looked back at Melissa, who had raised her eyebrows and was trying not to laugh. "How dare you insult me!" he hissed.
Isobel was taken aback. "Insult you? Whatever do you mean?"
"You dared to turn me down in front of your friend."
Isobel was furious. "Leave me alone, Jakob." She hurried back to Melissa.
"Don’t worry, he's gone outside," Melissa said before Isobel could turn around. "What was that all about?"
"Well, he seems to think he owns me and can tell me what to do."
Melissa scrunched up her face. "That's strange; you’ve only been on two buggy rides with him, although I suppose he's always hanging around you at Singings and the like."
As the two women stood to the side of the room, talking, the elderly Alice Byler came toward them and clung onto Isobel's hands. “Isobel, I heard your Englisch employer was murdered; is that right?”
Throughout the church meeting, Isobel had tried to put it out of her mind. She was finally starting to feel her old self, and the last thing that she wanted was to be reminded of the terrible thing that happened. Couldn’t she just have a little break away from it all? Isobel forced a smile. “Jah, it was a terrible thing and I’m trying to put it out of my mind.”
“Nee, you can’t put it out of your mind,” Alice said.
“Why can’t she?” Melissa moved a little closer by Isobel’s side.
Alice looked around about her and leaned forward to the two girls. “I heard that it’s the Stutzmans' son who’s investigating the case.” Her tone was conspiratorial.
Isobel gasped as she put the pieces together: Rebecca and Albert Stutzman were Peter’s parents! She shot Melissa a startled look, and Melissa returned her a look just as startled. She had not told Melissa the name of the young detective.
“He’s their son?” Isobel asked.
“Jah, he is their son,” Alice Byler whispered, looking around her once again.
It was then that the memory of what had happened to the Stutzmans' other son came flooding back. Why hadn’t she remembered this before? Bill Stutzman had been accidentally killed some years earlier by a teenager who was robbing a store. Bill had been in the wrong place at the wrong time. Isobel had heard that the Stutzmans' ‘other son’ had left the Amish because his parents had not wanted to do anything to avenge their son’s death, instead saying it was ‘Gott’s will.’
A vision of Peter Stutzman came into her mind. Was that why he left the Amish and joined the police force? He must have been of the opposite opinion to his parents and thought that they should have done something about their son.
He must be filled with pain, Isobel thought. Pain of losing his bruder and being helpless to stop it. In an effort to feel in some kind of control of life, he joined the police force.
“Did you know Peter Stutzman, Alice?”
Isobel was not surprised when Alice nodded.
“Jah, I knew him,” Alice said. “You wouldn't remember him as he was about five or six years older than you. He was a delightful boy, but he changed when his bruder died. He screamed at his parents and challenged them to do something, but they would not.”
“Is he the detective on the case, Isobel?” Melissa asked.
Isobel nodded and knew that later, she would have to explain to Melissa why she hadn’t mentioned him. Then she decided now was as gut a time as any. “I didn’t know he was Rebecca and Albert's son. I didn’t even know that he had been brought up Amish.” It's quite a shock, she thought.
Alice looked around about her yet again, still clutching onto Isobel's hands. “Best not to mention their son to them. I dare say they’re upset about him leaving the community.”
“Denki, Alice.” Isobel watched Alice walk away. This time, Alice had given her useful information rather than the empty gossip she usually gave out.
“So, what’s he like, this Peter Stutzman? And why were you keeping him a secret?”
Isobel laughed. “Oh, Melissa, I wasn’t keeping him a secret. Like I just said, I didn’t even make the connection until just now when Alice told me who he was.”
“I bet he’s handsome, isn’t he?” Melissa chuckled.
Isobel shrugged her shoulders and hesitated to answer.
Melissa patted her shoulder. “I’m sorry, I was only being silly. I know you’ve had a big shock."
Isobel wasn’t listening to Melissa; she was too busy looking at Mr. Stutzman, who was helping the other menner arrange the tables. Peter did look a lot like his vadder. Isobel wondered what Peter’s bruder had been like.
Romans 14: 10 - 13.
Why do you pass judgment on your brother? Or you, why do you despise your brother? For we will all stand before the judgment seat of God; for it is written, “As I live, says the Lord, every knee shall bow to me, and every tongue shall confess to God.” So then each of us will give an account of himself to God. Therefore let us not pass judgment on one another any longer, but rather decide never to put a stumbling block or hindrance in the way of a brother.
Chapter 10.
Only days later, word came that old Eli Stutzman had passed away, and Isobel's first thought was sadness for his grandson, Peter.
When Isabel and Jakob pulled up to the Stutzmans' haus for the viewing, people were already making their way steadily inside. The people, all dressed in black, filed into the haus, holding their heads down. No one engaged in conversation at any great length, keeping only to the appropriate, "Hullo."
The Stutzman home was a large and immaculate haus. In the spring and summer time, it glistened among the other houses in the community with its lush green lawn, white picket fence, and yellow sunflowers that lined the path to the doorway. Now, deep into the Lancaster winter, the haus seemed to h
ave adopted a dark, gloomy feel. It had been only days since Isobel had stepped through the doors of the Stutzmans' haus, and suddenly an uneasy feeling swept over her.
As Isobel climbed down out of the heated buggy, the frigid air struck her, taking her completely by surprise. She stepped heavily and almost sank into the thick ice as she made her way clumsily toward the haus.
“You're shivering; I told you to bring your thick coat,” Jakob said loudly as he caught up with her after tying up his horse. "Don’t you remember that I instructed you to get your coat when I called for you, but you said it wasn't necessary?"
Instructed me? Isobel bit her tongue. Jakob was becoming increasingly infuriating, but now was most certainly neither the time nor the place to have an awkward conversation with him. Why on earth she had ever agreed to go with him to the viewing was simply beyond her.
She had at first thought Jakob to be kind and genuine, and for a long time had even entertained the thought that this was the mann she was going to marry. However, all that changed after she spent time in his company. He was arrogant, demanding, and at times, even rude. Being with him for any length of time always left her drained and frustrated.
She had begun to see a different side of Jakob. He told her he did not approve of her having a job working for Englischers, and that he did not approve of her close friendship with Melissa, as his mudder had told him that Melissa's familye members were too free with their ways. To make matters worse, Jakob had become increasingly possessive, controlling, and argumentative.
Now, Isobel longed for the solitude of working alone in the Old Candle Store. She missed the freedom of meeting up with Melissa at their favorite café at her leisure, and she missed not having to answer to anyone apart from her parents. Everything had changed since that fateful day when she had witnessed the mann running from the scene - and the day that she had met Detective Peter Stutzman.
Now, as they headed toward the Stutzmans' haus, Isobel fervently wished once more that she had not agreed to accompany Jakob there in his buggy. She'd had a headache when he had shown up at her haus and all but insisted he drive her there, and at the time, it had seemed the path of least resistance.
Despite the icy road, Isobel walked briskly and tried her best to make her way into the haus ahead of Jakob. She decided that she would ignore him for as long as she possibly could. Jakob’s nagging voice was ringing inside her head and she longed for a peppermint tea.
As she reached the porch, once again she heard Jakob’s vexatious tone. “You know, you never listen to me when I tell you something. I told you to bring a coat; I knew it would be freezing. But as usual you never listen. You are so stubborn, Isobel.”
“Jakob, this isn’t a good time to start an argument. Can we discuss this after? What difference does it make anyway? We are already here and I did not bring the coat.” She turned away from him, trying hard to keep both her voice and temper down.
Isobel walked into the haus ahead of Jakob. The living room had been cleared of all furniture, and church benches had been brought in. People were sitting on them, speaking in hushed voices.
Others who were waiting to view the deceased were already in line, filing past the handmade, plain, pine coffin in the viewing room. The coffin was placed on a sturdy board between two high-backed, wooden chairs. Isobel took her place in line. Jakob leaned over her, too close for her comfort. I'm going to have to make it very clear to him that I won't date him any more, Isobel thought, and at the very first opportunity. The very thought brought release and she felt as if a huge burden had been lifted from her.
The coffin had six sides, with two sections on hinges that folded down to reveal the body from the chest up. The body was dressed in white pants, a vest, and a shirt.
Isobel turned and headed for her mudder, her steps quickening in an attempt to put distance between herself and Jakob. Her plan was thwarted by Alice Byler. The elderly woman gripped Isobel's arm, her long, bony fingers closing painfully. "Come and sit with me in the corner." Isobel followed meekly, grateful to have escaped Jakob, at least for the moment.
"The Stutzmans' son was just here; you just missed him," she hissed.
"Peter?"
Alice nodded. "Jah."
Isobel was puzzled. She had not thought through that problem: Peter, now an Englischer, attending the Amish viewing of his Amish grossdawdi. "Did his parents mind him being here?"
"Phsaw, of course not," Alice exclaimed, albeit quietly.
Isobel frowned. "But I thought you said that he didn’t get along with his parents."
Alice shook her head. "Nee, he was angry with them when his bruder died, and left the Amish. He was close to his grossdawdi, and he often came here to see him, and visit with his parents too."
"He did, err, he does?" This was news to Isobel.
"Jah, they are hoping he will return to the Amish."
"That's not likely to happen." Isobel wished she hadn’t spoken before thinking, as she would not like her words repeated.
Alice readily agreed. "He has too much root of bitterness and unforgiveness in his heart. His poor mudder, Rebecca, is always praying for him to return to us, but I can't see it happening." She looked around the room furtively as she spoke. "Rebecca gets her hopes up as Peter often speaks to the bishop."
One surprise after another, Isobel thought. Aloud she said, "Why would he speak to the bishop?"
Alice shrugged, and her eyes glinted. "Perhaps he is talking through the issues of forgiveness." She shrugged. "Only Gott and Peter and the bishop would know for sure. Yet mark my words, if he hasn’t returned to the Amish yet, he never will." Alice cackled and made her way across the room, leaving Isobel alone.
Isobel's stomach churched and she felt as if her heart were wrenched within her. If only Peter would return to the Amish, she thought, as a wave of warmth engulfed her. Melissa's husband, Victor, had returned to the Amish after some years, so it was a possibility, if even a remote one. Yet Peter seemed quite firmly Englisch, and filled with unforgiveness. She would have to continue to fight her feelings for him.
James 1: 27.
Religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father, is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world.
Chapter 11.
The following day was the funeral service and burial, and Isobel still had found no opportunity to tell Jakob that she no longer wished to date him. Thankfully, she had driven home with her parents in the familye buggy after the viewing of the day before, and had not seen Jakob since.
The funeral service was to be held at the Stutzman home, as the haus was large enough to accommodate a good number of people.
The service started with a minister reading - for there was no singing at Amish funerals - Hymn 144 from the Ausbund:
Listen all Christians, who have been born again,
The Son of God's from the Kingdom of Heaven died on the cross and suffered death and shame.
Let us follow Him! Let us take up our cross!
The blood of Jesus washes away the sins of those who leave,
All to follow Him,
And who believe on God alone,
Even though they have sinned much.
The minister then spoke for half an hour and reminded everyone present that their thoughts should not be on this world, but rather, on the world yet to come. He was followed by another minister, who spoke on Genesis, and how man came from dust and shall return to dust. He concluded by reciting First Corinthians chapter fifteen, verses twelve to nineteen:
"Now if Christ is proclaimed as raised from the dead, how can some of you say that there is no resurrection of the dead? But if there is no resurrection of the dead, then not even Christ has been raised. And if Christ has not been raised, then our preaching is in vain and your faith is in vain. We are even found to be misrepresenting God, because we testified about God that he raised Christ, whom he did not raise if it is true that the dead are not raised. For if the d
ead are not raised, not even Christ has been raised. And if Christ has not been raised, your faith is futile and you are still in your sins. Then those also who have fallen asleep in Christ have perished. If in Christ we have hope in this life only, we are of all people most to be pitied."
Then the minister spoke on forgiveness. He explained that forgiveness is not instant; rather, it is a journey which requires help from Gott. One must make a conscious decision not to hold onto unforgiveness.
Isobel thought of Peter Stutzman. He held unforgiveness in his heart, unforgiveness for his bruder's killer, and unforgiveness that his parents had forgiven the mann who had accidentally killed his bruder. If only Peter were here to hear this sermon. Or was he? Isobel had not seen him when she had taken her seat, but that did not mean that he was not already seated with the menner, or at the back of a room somewhere, listening. She sent up a silent prayer to Gott that the minister's message would somehow be brought home to Peter. It was the very message that he needed to hear.
An hour and a half to two hours later, the minister mentioned Eli Stutzman's name, date of birth, and date of death. That was the only time that the deceased had been mentioned throughout the entire service, as was Amish custom.
After the service, the people made their way out of the haus to head to the Amish cemetery. Snow was beginning to fall, and Isobel brushed some flakes from her eyelashes. Isobel spotted her parents, and hurried over to them when she saw that Jakob was coming up behind her. Isobel was going to the cemetery with her parents in their familye buggy, but she wanted to tell Jakob that she no longer intended to date him first. Isobel sighed at the thought. "Mamm, can you wait there for a moment, please? I just want a quick word with Jakob."
Her mudder raised her eyebrows, but did not speak.
Jakob caught up with her, and had overheard her words to her mudder. "Come on, Isobel. You can speak to me in the buggy on the way to the cemetery."
Isobel winced at Jakob's demanding tone, but walked away from the buggies so no one could overhear her. "Jakob, I'm just going to come out and say this. I don't want to date you any more. Sorry, but that's the way it is." Isobel was relieved that she finally said the words.
The Amish Buggy Horse BOXED SET Books 1-3 (Amish Romance Book Bundle: Faith, Hope, Charity) (Boxed Set: The Amish Buggy Horse) Page 19
