by Li Hill
"You escaped?"
She bristled. Wrong move, Tom.
"I mean, you came here to try to find a safer settlement?"
She nodded.
"Seaward's settlement is really nice. What was it like in Atlanta?" Tom kept his hands on his lap, a pleasant smile on his face. It was important to show respect and that he wasn't a threat.
"Crowded and hot. I'na aren't suited for that kind of weather." Nenen coughed into her hand, a wretched, wet sound that shook her to her bones.
"Do you need some water?"
She showed him a water bottle, shaking it a little. "I'm old. Your people do not give medicine. So I die instead."
Tom's mouth slowly dropped open. He would admit he hadn't been the most vigilant about I'na; he'd preferred to bury his head in the sand for so long. But that wasn't who he was anymore. This was a woman who needed help. "Let me—hold on."
Tom found Sam outside, speaking to an I'na clad in uniform.
"Corporal," she said.
"They won't give the elderly medicine?" Tom asked.
Sam's face strained, lines and worry etching into her skin. "We have what we have. They don't have insurance, and there's issues with Medicaid. Not to mention we gotta be careful with what kinds of medicine we give them. Some of it'll kill them."
"They're legal permanent residents! It's been years and they still haven't figured it all out?"
"Science isn't fast, Tom!" Sam adjusted her ponytail, sighing. Even the I'na with her merely looked at his feet.
"I'm sure, because they can't get the funding for it, right? I'na health not as important?" He looked to the I'na with them, but again got no sort of feedback. Tom had two modes: normal human and attorney. Attorney mode didn't care who he was fighting, he'd just do it.
"They're deprived because of red tape, yeah." Sam toed a crack in the sidewalk with her boot. "It's maddening, right? I gotta look them in the eye and watch them get worse. The Centers weren't supposed to be shelters. They just also kind of became that, so we're not really all that equipped. Seward's I'na are supposed to help with that."
"Have they?" Tom asked.
"We do," the I'na said. "But our resources aren't endless either."
"Can't we get donations?"
"You need prescriptions, dude," Sam said. "And if you're talkin' about who I think you are—she's not gonna get on Medicaid fast enough."
The hopelessness of the interaction flushed Tom's face. He thought of Inaraa getting sick, or if Iilo got sick from being in the shelter. Frankly, fuck this. The world lacked empathy, something that even Tom had forgotten when he went sulking away from the army. But his eyes were open now. He had the power to do something and that's all that mattered to him.
"So, if I theoretically got some?"
Sam smirked. "I won't say shit."
"Good to know." He looked over at the I'na with Sam, receiving a small smile.
Back inside, Tom made a promise to the woman to get her medications. She said she had no money, but she'd thank him in a favor.
"I don't know what I'd ask, but that sounds like a fair trade." But Tom thought of Iilo's investigation, Parker too. He wasn't sure if she'd know anything, but asking couldn't hurt. He almost walked away before turning around and saying, "I know this isn't an easy subject, but I'm helping a Seward I'na with an ongoing investigation. Were there any kidnappings in Atlanta? Anything that happened to your people?"
"We know what's happening in Seward," Nenen said. "It's why we're still here. We won't go. Ask that one about it. She'll have something to tell you, but her English is not as good as mine." She pointed to a purple I'na with a tiny ID that Tom couldn't make out from this far away.
"Thanks."
Next to her, Tom could see the ID better. A few little triangles that had etchings bleeding out from them. Like a volcano erupting.
"Do you live here?" Tom asked.
"Take look at me and think on question." Her voice was hard, unlike the soft melody of Inaraa's. This one had metal in her bones. Tangled blue hair reached her hips.
"Why'd you run from Atlanta? You're out of there, right? She told me to talk to you." Tom pointed back at Nenen. She waved at them.
"I'm from there. Man want sex. Ask me. Came back and more he want. Hair. Skin." Her hands trembled when she gestured to her pelvic area.
"You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to."
"You asked."
"I—yes, but—" Her anger was palpable, and despite what Tom told himself, her face reminded him of the faces he'd seen at night, chasing, chasing, chasing. He couldn't figure out what to say next. Everything rushed at him, too quick, words bleeding into other words that never quite made it to his tongue.
"We're here to help." Iilo suddenly sat by her side. A blessing wrapped up in blue skin and bright orange eyes. He pressed their heads together, his ID resting against hers. He reached out and squeezed Tom's hand, a bridge between Tom and the female I'na. Tom was on solid ground again.
"Name?" Iilo asked.
"Sau," she said.
"Sau, I'm Iilo. That's Tom. He's our friend and helping us. So, you left because someone was stalking you." Iilo took her hand, giving it a squeeze.
Sau looked down, lips quivering. "Not good English. Can't tell in English."
Plenty of people were interested in the I'na. There was a difference, however, between interest and biopsies. The thought churned Tom's stomach. He watched Iilo speak with Sau in their language, as useful as a bump on a log. He wondered how difficult it would be to learn, or if Iilo wouldn't mind teaching.
"What if the I'na at Seward fled because of someone taking samples?" Tom asked Iilo.
"I thought about that too." Iilo stood up, scribbling something onto a scratch paper and handing it to the girl they'd been speaking to. "I'm going to ask her to tell me her story. Maybe you should wait over there." He pointed to a table in a corner.
Tom looked away. He'd never felt ashamed for what he was before. Standing there, big and broad, too bulky as Inaraa had said once. He felt ashamed of being human. He couldn't speak their language. He couldn't even touch her unless he wanted to scare her.
"Okay." He walked over to the table, watching Iilo and Sau.
She leaned into Iilo, her hand never leaving his wrist. He sat close too, their words a whisper instead of just jumbled-up vowels that Tom couldn't understand. He knew how Sau felt, because he'd felt it before. It wasn't Sau who haunted Tom's dreams. It wasn't Nenen with her wrinkled smile. It was war, just as Iilo had said when they first met. Tom leaned forward, pressing his fingers to his face. Carlos played with children in the other room. Sam worked with the I'na in all sorts of capacities. Caleb worked for BrightStart. Everyone was moving on, and then there was Tom.
He dropped his hands, watching Iilo catch a tear from Sau's face. He wasn't so far behind now. He'd met Iilo. Iilo's desires had become Tom's desires. He wanted justice just as much as Iilo and even Letic. That was progress. A natural, unknown progress that silently crept up Tom's back and smiled at him when he wasn't looking. There was no shame in taking his own path, coming to his own terms, and making his own recovery. Sam was right though. He had been progressing, he'd just not noticed. Looking to Iilo, feeling the warmth that swirled around his heart, that had to count for something.
Iilo joined Tom at the table. He sat close and their bodies pressed together. Tom didn't move away.
"He got her to fall for him," Iilo said. "She finds out he's been seeing other I'na, and when she confronts them, she learns their stories are like hers with the samples. Some went missing. This group fled here without telling their Elect. I worry something similar happened in Seward. But I don't know how to tell them when it's safe for them to come back."
Tom cringed when his mind supplied a different scenario of if they could come back at all. Tom wasn't so certain they were still alive. He wanted to believe they were, but Tom had seen a lot of shit in the world. If there was a guy out there with a disturbing obses
sion with the I'na, Tom wasn't so sure this guy wouldn't be deranged enough to harm them.
"She said a few of my people in the sick ward have similar stories, but they won't let me in there."
"That's smart of them, Iilo." Six years might have calmed the outbreaks from before, but when I'na got sick in large numbers, people worried. Tom didn't care as much about the numbers than about the individual. Iilo couldn't afford to get sick, not after how far they'd come. Tom didn't want to risk Iilo's health. He'd heard about the quarantined I'na when numbers got too high. He didn't want to see Iilo hauled off to likely die.
"Whatever. It'd be nice to talk to them. I let Sau know about Agent Parker though. She didn't mean to upset you, by the way."
"Upset me?"
"You looked sad when I asked you to sit here. She told me to tell you."
"I'm not sad, Iilo. I'm just." He sighed. "I'm tired. I'm angry. I'm scared. If I lost you in all this. If we got too close. I just don't know what to do next. I don't even know if we should be doing anything."
"If you lost me?" Of all the words, those were the ones Iilo chose to catch.
Tom shrank back, an embarrassed smile on his face. "I've pushed you. I'd feel terrible if my suggestions got you hurt."
"I think you should know by now that I'm pretty hard to push." Iilo looked at him with a shark's grin, full of power and strength. "But I appreciate you. You've meant a lot to me through this."
Tom's heart squeezed. So many questions ran through his mind. Why did he feel the way he felt? Was it the right time? He'd been alone for so long. He wished he had the answers now. Taking it slow was a good suggestion, but when Iilo was sitting right next to him, all he wanted to do was blurt it all out and just get it over with. He wasn't stupid, he could usually pick up when someone had a thing for him, but Iilo was difficult to read. He touched everyone intimately. His words, Tom could only go by his words. That made it all the more terrifying.
"Wait," Tom said to himself. "Did this guy offer Sau anything in return? Money? Compensation?"
"He brought gifts and made her feel special. Why?"
"In abuse cases, the way the abuser treats the victim matters. If he's gentle and kind, his victims are more reluctant to give him up. They'll think of ways to help or rationalize what he did. Sau's pissed, but I'm not sure how others will feel. They may share stories with each other, but when the FBI step in, they may go silent. It's important to know so we know how to combat it."
"I worried you weren't going to care about them." Iilo smirked, flicking Tom's chest. "This is good."
"It's not good." Tom scrubbed his hands over his face. Anger snaked into his body, roiling over in his veins to burn his skin. Someone had touched that girl. Touched others, and that man didn't even care how bad it scared them. They weren't people to whoever was doing this.
"I mean, no, not what's happened. But how far you're willing to go for them. It's all over your face. You really do care."
Tom rolled his eyes, chuckling. "I blame you."
Iilo's face flushed purple. "I can handle that. C'mon, I'll meet you outside. Sau mentioned some other girls I could talk to."
Tom didn't argue. His bones felt soggy, and all his eyes wanted to do was sleep. He left to find Carlos, mulling over his exchange with Iilo. Iilo was always surprised when Tom did something compassionate. He wished he could understand Iilo's mind. But it was so far away, tucked behind two layers of skull and blue hair. Tom wanted to open his mouth and say how he felt. But it scared him, not knowing Iilo's true thoughts about him. Something needed to be done about Iilo's surprise at Tom's concern. Something concrete that made Tom's heart race and his hands clammy.
"Tom! Hey, man," Carlos said when they found each other again.
"Having fun?" Tom asked.
"Oh, yeah. The kids are great. But I kinda stuck around them because sometimes they say things adults are too scared to say."
Tom smiled. Carlos's unique way of thinking had always saved them in the military. Now it'd probably save them again.
"Did they?" Tom asked.
"Lots of I'na are going missing. Three different settlements. Atlanta, here, and Cincinnati. Heard about a whole Elect board in Cincy go missing cause they'd started up an investigation. One of the boy's moms was on it." Carlos tucked a wavy strand of hair behind his ear. "I think the Elect here are scared that'll happen to them too."
"So they're either bought and complacent, or just downright terrified and trying to protect their people." Tom could sympathize with the latter. Protecting the ones they cared for, that was noble. It was causing pain, but sometimes doing the wrong thing helped the greater good. The world wasn't black and white. It functioned in shades of gray. Sacrifice one for the good of the many.
What if that one became Iilo? What would Tom do then? How could he face Iilo and tell him this was the best route to go and let him watch more of his friends die? Tom felt like he were on a tightrope, dangling high above the earth. One mistake and he'd come tumbling down.
"You okay?" Carlos asked, touching Tom's arm.
"We've gotta talk to the Elect in Seward. I really fucked up with their Heart, but we've gotta ask. They weren't pleased about the FBI on the settlement. Now I'm scared I just sealed their deaths or something. Iilo's sister's on the Elect."
"Damn, man." Carlos rested his hand on a hip. "The leader is called the Heart, huh?"
"Yup."
Carlos smiled wide, his dark eyes shimmering from the sun. He had a grin that could either make Tom smile right along with it or punch him. Tom was certain this was a punching kind of moment.
"What? Dude, what?"
"You're learning a lot about them. It's good. I mean, I was worried." Carlos shrugged. "You were scared of them for a long time."
"Weren't you?" Tom knew Carlos hadn't made it out of the military intact. Hell, no one really did. The military always took a piece of someone. Part of the soul, the brain, the heart. What it took, it chewed up, and sometimes if someone was lucky, it'd give it back. But no one was ever put back together just the way they came in. Not even someone like Carlos, people too stubborn to admit the world was dark.
"I was nervous." Carlos looked to the ground, sighing. "But I think Iilo comin' into our lives was the best thing that could happen. He's helped you. Hell, he's even helping me."
Tom joined Carlos's side. Together they watched people on the streets walk by, nodding politely.
"Iilo reminds me of you in a way," Tom said.
"Yeah?"
"All that optimism. Kindness."
"I'm gonna blush." Carlos brought his hands up to his face, blush tinting skin. He was the first person Tom had ever known who used their whole body to illustrate their feelings. Iilo was the second. War had brought Carlos and Tom together, solidified them as brothers, but it was Carlos's unwavering loyalty that kept Tom from spilling over the edge the further they got from First Contact and all the shit they saw.
"Sorry," Tom mumbled, smirking. "I'll dial back the cheese."
"No! It's good, man. It's good to see you open up. You've been so"—Carlos gestured to Tom's person— "stilted for so long. Stuck. You got your spark back. This is good."
Tom didn't like opening up. He didn't like the feeling of someone cracking into his ribs and poking around in his heart. He looked away, his smile unable to disappear. If anyone could break him open, it was Carlos. Tom's father was a stern and emotionless man who lived for simple reasons: provide and protect. He'd never taught Tom the value of love. That was all Carlos.
Together, they waited for Iilo to come out of the Center.
Sam joined up shortly after Iilo came out, her face pinched. "What'd ya find out?"
They told her. It spilled from their lips like a bath overflowing. Each one excited and jittery about what they'd found. Carlos and the kids. Iilo and the girls he'd spoken to. Tom and Nenen. Each had a piece of the puzzle, and when it all came together, the results were dark.
The I'na Elect could be offering up
their own people, and the people were clueless to the reason why. Worse, the Elect could be just trying to protect themselves, and Tom and Iilo could've put them all in danger.
"We should tell Agent Parker," Iilo said. He was perfectly positioned in the middle, humans all around him. Tom found the image laughable, like they were his personal entourage. "Not everyone I spoke to wants to talk to him, but all we need is enough. Sau seemed willing. She's afraid about her brother though. He's still in Atlanta."
"Anonymous testimony is allowed. Sometimes there's fights about the weight of it, but it's allowed. We could try that route."
Iilo seemed convinced by Tom's response. He nodded, shoulders relaxing. "Good. I think that'll help the others I talked to." Iilo pulled out his leather notebook, scribbling down notes with unfamiliar characters. Their language was as expressive as their IDs, tiny pictures that wove together a story more than told of one.
"There's enough evidence here that I could petition the Elect for a hearing about it." Iilo finished scribbling in his journal and snapped it closed.
"But what if the Elect is just being held captive and we just fucked it all up?" Sam asked. "I told my superiors about this, but I don't know how long it'll take them to send people into the other Settlements, and Seward seems to be Ground Zero."
"If the I'na police and FBI work together here, I think we may just be okay," Iilo said. "I want my people protected. Even if the Elect's been doing that, I know they can do better." He furrowed his brow and stretched out his neck to stand taller than his short frame.
So he'd made up his mind. Tom had no choice but to follow.
"Station some FBI agents outside the settlement just to keep watch?" Tom offered. It seemed simple enough, but if someone was after the I'na, then they probably knew about I'na blood. All they had to do was make a dead FBI agent look like the work of an I'na and there'd be war.
"It's better than letting the Elect keep the In'a police from doing their jobs," Carlos said.
"Make sure you tell Agent Parker about this stat," Sam said. It was always perplexing to Tom why she was put on his squad when she could have just as easily commanded her own. Sam was the kind of person who didn't have to show off her power, as everyone just knew she had it. She remained calmer than most guys in the line of fire, even calmer than Tom. But maybe that'd been why; she was the backbone while Tom was the heart. Carlos the soul. Caleb the smile.
